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PODCAST

Not For Everyone

Not For Everyone

Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We"re just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you. __ Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

01:14:18

46. Not for Third Base + A Quick Fix for Loneliness

Not For Everyone ·

2023/10/26

Have you ever wondered what you look like while having sex, and how far have you gone to find out? Caroline lets us in on her Secret Single Behavior, and Jess finds herself unable to say a certain dirty word on the pod. This leads to an unpacking of our relationships with sex, and why we find it hard but important to talk about publicly. Naturally, our first kiss and virginity stories follow, plus an unfortunate BUDding romance and cotillion-induced panic attack. Everyone is lonely and no one is

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01:08:21

45. WHATADO: Overcoming Creative Fear, Fixing Your...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/10/20

The creative well has been dry as ever lately, but that's where you kooks come in, with another episode of listener-submitted questions or WHATADOs. We don't know what you should do, but we're not apologizing for this potentially bad advice either. First, how to deal with a partner who can't stop complaining about their job but doesn't want to do anything about it. Misery loves company and your energy is probably better spent not enabling this endless loop. Then, a quick

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01:10:19

44. Not for Overachieving + The Truth About Self Care

Not For Everyone ·

2023/10/12

Caroline's therapist is hot and Jess doesn't get why that's relevant. Personal style is overrated anyway. What's not overrated is Caroline greeting her boyfriend after not seeing him since...yesterday. Very highly rated, based on Jess's observation. Going to the gym in the morning makes you better than everyone else and that's a scientific fact. Sometimes it's the only way to make time for yourself - that, and saying "no" often, maybe even as a default

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01:03:10

43. Not for Cancel Culture + Our Worst Jokes

Not For Everyone ·

2023/10/05

What do two podcasters/scientists do when they have nothing to say? Well here at Not for Everyone industries, we take that as a sign to dive into one of the most highly debated and contentious topics on the internet: cancel culture. We know, we know... Right after offending all parents by giving air time to Caillou last week. This is just the edgy stuff you can expect from us. After a hypothetical takedown of Beyoncé that Jess wishes had been targeted at Taylor Swift instead, we pivot to lighter

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01:15:14

42. Not For Superficial Feminism + Dealing with...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/09/28

Our hater and lover are reunited, and though Jess comes to this episode with little to no voice, she has a lot to say (and sing) after a week off. Mostly regarding the Jonas Brothers, of course. We're all just mailbitches and feminism isn't only about language; let's get paid more, you guys! You know what is about language, though? The proliferation of the word "enjoyment" on social media. Joy? Who's she? Our return to therapy might get us there; otherwise this is all just

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00:58:40

41. Hater Hour: When to Make a Big Life Change,...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/09/21

Welcome back to the Hater Hour. It’s a solo episode hosted by Caroline while Jess takes a mental health break — take note people! Breaks are GOOD FOR YOU and actually entirely necessary. Unfortunately for you, the solo Hater Hour means there is no one to tame Caroline as she dives into discussion of self-improvement, trying to make a big life changes, trying/failing to change others, difficult parent relationships, open relationships (again), fashion offenses, and the forgotten Jonas Brother. She

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01:18:27

40. Hot Takes Only: Open Relationships, Being Basic,...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/09/14

Hot takes are back with a vengeance as the lover and hater tackle the problem with 69ing, their views on open relationships and keeping people on the backburner, and a number of topics that have them realizing just how basic they are - birthday month, Barbie movie, and pumpkin spice to name a few. Okay, mostly Jess, who balances it out with strong opinions on hot fruit and microwaved quesadillas. Meanwhile, Caroline insists she was popular with the boys as a child, though always on the lookout for

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01:08:34

39. Not for Toe Sucking + Can Men and Women Be Friends

Not For Everyone ·

2023/09/07

The mood is malaise as Jess and Caroline mosey into a conversation about platonic male/female friendship that they certainly weren't prepared to tackle. Similarly, Jess wasn't prepared to start vlogging this week, though she definitely tried after feeling so inspired by Caroline's recent YouTube video. The compliments lead to an existential question: What do you wish you were appreciated for more often? Caroline does NOT appreciate gym bros who don't put back their weights. At least

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01:01:10

38. Not for Group Texts + Everyone Has Intrusive...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/08/31

It's Caroline's birthday and Jess endured a child who's never heard the word "no" to fly out and touch knees with her. It was worth it for all the announcements in this in-person episode. The thing about intrusive thoughts is that if you imagine your sister thought about stabbing you too, you'd feel a lot better about the fact that neither of you has done it yet. You aren't your thoughts, and you also aren't your response time to that group text that's been

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01:20:58

37. Not for the Matrix + Being the Worst Around Your...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/08/24

Slumber party!!! This week, the lights are off and the sleepover just got real intimate as Jess and Caroline talk without video. In other words, there's no YouTube video this week - also who knew regular phone calls were still a thing?!). It gets existential fast with a conversation about how memories are formed, which leads into an exploration of the idea that we’re living in a simulation. What would that change? The possibility of an afterlife? Does that mean we don’t have to be good people

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01:13:34

36. Not for Marrying Each Other + Tales from the...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/08/17

It would be off brand to open with anything other than hair talk, so Caroline gets right to critiquing her new haircut, which is unfortunately more Brooklyn hipster than it is American Girl doll. This triggers memories of eyebrow and leg hair shame from middle and high school, setting the groundwork for the rest of the episode: everything is a lie. Starting with the lies that people tell about romance in their long-term relationships! Jess can't stand it, so she insists on sharing how she and

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01:29:11

35. For You: The Dating Advice We Wish We Knew Sooner

Not For Everyone ·

2023/08/10

You sent in your dating struggles; we pulled our best advice out of our asses. In this strange new world of app dating, constant anxiety, and ever-changing standards, how do we stay true to ourselves when looking for connection? Not super well, but everything we've learned in hindsight, we're here to share with you. All things dating apps - filters and types, how long to talk before a date, and taking breaks when you're being the worst First dates - the spark, whether chemistry can

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01:08:33

34. Not for UFOs + The 10 Steps of Making Up with...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/08/03

As usual, a compliment turns into a larger conversation about coveting hotness and beauty standards, as Jess and Caroline agree that the only thing they (or any of us) really care about is sex and attraction. But is beauty work a lie, or is it simply a way to masquerade in an identity they haven't historically aligned with? This breakdown of identity turns into a reflection on how people talk about themselves - basically, what all of our dating profiles would say if they were actually true. We

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01:00:42

33. WHATADO: Spicing Up Your Relationship, Being the...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/07/27

WHATADOS are back, and though Jess and Caroline are physically falling apart and can't agree about hair removal strategies, their non-advice to the kooks is ready to rage. First up, keeping the fire alive in a long-term relationship - including asking for what you want (both directly and indirectly) and evaluating your sex life for signs of disconnection. Speaking of sex life, "whatado: eye contact giving head" is one of the best questions (if it can be considered a question) that

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01:03:44

32. Not for That Pic of Your New Man + Weird Turn-Ons

Not For Everyone ·

2023/07/20

Caroline and Jess are back together at last and have very little to show for their time apart. No insights or reflections, no hot takes; just more contributions to the hot cat/cartoon crush directory. We also have plenty to say about our recent air travel experiences and the misery that is interacting with other people in flight. Airports everywhere are chaos, but there's something in our east coastal elitism that makes it especially unbearable to wait in a disorganized Italian queue. Plus,

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00:40:17

31. Jess Thots: The Late Bloomer's Guide to Confident...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/07/13

In her final days before turning 32, Jess reflects on what it means to be fun, especially having been a late bloomer in a lot of aspects of traditional American life. Somehow it's been both a help and a hindrance to her self confidence - who else wants their mommy whenever they enter a sketchy club or party? Children of immigrants please stand up! This leads into an exploration of two age-old questions: first, how to conceptualize regret, and next, how to tell the difference between anxiety and

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00:55:19

30. Hot Takes Only: Boxers, Brunch, and Bumper Stickers

Not For Everyone ·

2023/07/06

How are we? Just look at our hair. Though this week's YouTube video will be delayed FYI - we're happy to have you listening here! In a new series called Hot Takes Only, we're giving our spiciest quips (i.e. really just the truth) on listener-submitted topics. Consider this episode a scientific analysis; we cover morning vs. night showers, couples sitting on the same side of the booth, boxer shorts, brunch, "baby on board" decals and more - with many twists and turns and

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00:48:44

29. Hater Hour: Public Embarrassment, Boring Dates,...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/06/29

Caroline goes for a wild ride in this solo episode while Jess is away on vacation. Caroline is recording at midnight, just closing in on the hating hour - and the perfect hour for deep unhinged chats. Cozy up with your delirious host as she dives into the worst guy we all dated, how to keep from being annoyed at that one friend who is... being really annoying, and the art of embracing embarrassment. Caroline also touches on getting caught in the middle between your parents and personal growth

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01:07:53

28. Not for the Self + Managing Your Expectations of...

Not For Everyone ·

2023/06/22

Another week, another update from Jess that she still hasn't done that one thing she's been putting off at work. Not to worry - what she isn't accomplishing in terms of *tedi* tasks, Caroline makes up for by testing her spelling, as the two drift through stories of middle school spelling bees, high school burnout, and eventually, bible camp shame. Getting hit on when you’re in a relationship hits different, and also leads to a pretty unwinnable set of choices - come off bitchy, or lead

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01:02:57

27. Not for Puns + Breaking Old Patterns with Family

Not For Everyone ·

2023/06/15

Dog sex! Jess and Caroline open this episode on the same page about almost every aspect of acquaintance-level run-ins, except for one; please someone help Jess feel seen on the elevator in her Turbie Twist. We can walk in opposite directions once we get off. Next, Jess opens up about a recent breakthrough she had around patterns in interpersonal relationships, all thanks to AppleTV's Shrinking and not so much to her infrequent therapy visits. Who knew all that stands between us and increased

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