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PODCAST

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep

Need some soothing voice and music to get you to bed? These nonsense stories have nonsensical plots designed to get you drifting off to sleep in no time (without you investing in the "story").

fiction mental health

All Episodes

33:03

Time travelers have become such a nuisance that...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/05/01

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Time travelers have become such a nuisance that governments have begun recording fake historical events that lead time travelers to areas where they can be arrested. You're a bartender at one of these artificial towns, trying to determine if the customer in front of you is from the future. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

33:03

You lost your sight, along with everyone else on...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/04/24

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You lost your sight, along with everyone else on earth in the great blinding. Two years later, your sight returns. As you look around, you realize that every available wall, floor, and surface has been painted with the same message - "Don't tell them you can see" - and in the end, the sky finally falls. Yet it's still hard to see. The black and white image you've got after you've been on this ship for so long doesn't make sense without a

en

33:02

Make sure you get your quest rewards

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/04/17

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Due to a clerical error, the hero is sent with the wisest thief, the fastest wizard, the smartest warrior, and the strongest preist. As I have hinted before, you must earn more for your quest than your enemies do to get your quest, so make sure you get your quest rewards from all these things. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:51

You are a B-list superhero on the verge of losing...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/04/10

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You are a B-list superhero on the verge of losing your job. During a battle with a villain, you accidentally end up killing one of the most prolific superheros of your time. That's when you realize that with your niché power that was useless as a hero, you could be an A-list supervillain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:41

Humans can find a way to weaponize literally...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/04/03

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Humans can find a way to weaponize literally anything, without fail. Some aliens are terrified by humans as a result of this fact. Others appreciate that this quality makes humans the foremost experts on safety systems and idiot proofing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:40

You're a novice demon who managed to convice a mother...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/03/27

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You're a novice demon who managed to convice a mother to give up her first born in exchange for eternal youth. You did so, because it seems like the kind of thing all the other demons are doing, but now you are not sure what you are supposed to do with an infant and it's way too late to ask. You have taken the wrong path. I don't see how anyone can ever really know their choice before they turn two." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

en

32:29

Yes Master. She is apparently your soulmate.

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/03/20

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: "Greetings Mortal, I am Hera, Queen of the Gods!" the floating woman said. You look to your flustered genie asking "Is she…". She replies, looking embarrassed "Yes Master. She is apparently your soulmate." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:29

The Robot Apocalypse came

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/03/13

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: The Robot Apocalypse came. Cities are empty, you stayed since you're almost out of insulin and will die soon anyway. The robots find you and while processing you one of them sees your insulin pump and asks if you want to apply for dual citizenship, since the pump technically makes you a cyborg. Just when you thought you were no longer a person, you get a message that shows you are "alien". While waiting for your insulin, you decide to return

en

32:25

Medusa befriends a blind princess after she...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/03/06

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Medusa befriends a blind princess after she accidentally wanders into her cave. Unfortunately for the princess’ suitors, Medusa has now developed a crush and doesn’t take well to competition. She now is the only princess in the suit! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:22

You’re immortal

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/02/27

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You’re immortal. The only problem is, you’ve lived so long humanity died out and a new intelligent species evolved. Now you’re forced to live in the forest as a cryptid. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:20

There is nothing unusual about a man in a business...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/02/20

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: There is nothing unusual about a man in a business suit carrying a briefcase, rushing off to work. But since he just quickly passed you as you are climbing up Mount Everest in full winter gear, you have questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:18

The dragon has kidnapped the princess

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/02/13

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: The dragon has kidnapped the princess... again. And the knight is off to rescue her... again. That is what people think is going on. In reality, the three of them are great friends just looking for an excuse to hang out together. As she gets more and more anxious to know who will take her instead, he seems to realize why she wants to stay behind: she's trying to protect him from another vampire. As soon as she hears this, she runs away from

en

32:17

You are an immortal vampire, who can only be killed...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/02/06

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You are an immortal vampire, who can only be killed by a wooden stake through the heart. In a dying universe, you are now in your spaceship looking for some wood, before it is too late. The only way to save it is to make sure your spaceship is built from the ground up, even though this entails going through multiple life points. The "Life Points" you receive to make the life you need is randomly allocated to you. There are six Life Points

en

32:08

The hero has been defeated, the Dark Lord reigns

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/01/30

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: The hero has been defeated, the Dark Lord reigns. It seems like nobody can stop him, but then he surprises everyone by actually being a good leader, or at least better then the warring kings that used to rule this land. He's even funding science, if only because he wants to conquer the moon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

32:06

Due to a clerical error, the hero is sent with the...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/01/23

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Due to a clerical error, the hero is sent with the wisest thief, the fastest wizard, the smartest warrior, and the strongest preist. He is, of course, a skilled wizard, but when one of these latter men dies, it is not without his assistance and his wrath, yet he is known as a hero, and he is said to be wise, with a fine speech and a firm mind. He has the courage, the wealth and the will of a rich man, and will go where his conscience calls

en

32:00

Alien travelers stopped at Earth to refuel and...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/01/16

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Alien travelers stopped at Earth to refuel and consult humans in exchange. An allien consulting an astronomer finds a picture of a black hole on her computer. "Oh, you also scare your children with this tale haha". "No, it's a recent photo" she replies. Alien is visibly freaking out. "Hmmm� you know that story about the "ghost beings" who created our universe?" he asks. Then, a huge, red-faced figure that looks like a UFO appears, and looks

en

32:00

You are an immortal poet, and every so often you have...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/01/09

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You are an immortal poet, and every so often you have to change your penname and writing style just a bit to avoid suspicion. At a book signing, a fan brings up a book for your signature, but it's a piece you wrote 1400 years ago under a different name. I find myself wanting to change these things, so I'm glad you want to make your signature a permanent one, and keep all your work on your wall. For the third year, I have been telling a story

en

31:55

You are a B-list superhero on the verge of losing...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2022/01/02

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You are a B-list superhero on the verge of losing your job. During a battle with a villain, you accidentally end up killing one of the most prolific superheros of your time. That's when you realize that with your niché power that was useless as a hero, you could be an A-list supervillain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

31:53

The methods in which they kill aren't something you...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2021/12/26

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: : Rule of thumb: If you see something on a foreign planet that has all the outward traits of an apex predator, but no obvious and apparent way to kill you - run. The methods in which they kill aren't something you want to see. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

31:24

You are an immortal vampire, who can only be killed...

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep ·

2021/12/19

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: You are an immortal vampire, who can only be killed by a wooden stake through the heart. In a dying universe, you are now in your spaceship looking for some wood, before it is too late. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

en

125 results

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