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PODCAST

Cold Brew Got Me Like

Chris and Greg Crofton have you over for a cup(s) of nitro, and a wide-ranging discussion of whatever is on their minds. Topics typically include injustice, poetry and payphones. New episode every Monday!

comedy

All Episodes

75:43

Episode 121: What About Cold Yoga?!

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/10/25

Chris is solo again this week. He wants to start a cold yoga business. The bourgeois are already lounging in ice baths, so why wouldn't they lay down a yoga mat in a walk-in freezer? ALSO: The Neil Hamburger tour, an Advice King column and the latest Can Do Cold Brew commercial. PLUS: A song of the week from Cinerama!!!Cinerama - "You Turn Me On": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFpoRYI4l_wPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold Brew:

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81:47

Episode 120: The Cops are Quiet Quitting

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/10/17

Greg's out of town, so Chris is all alone!!! The police are quiet quitting. Greg Gutfeld thinks it's time for a civil war because of shoplifting. Chris thinks those two things are connected. ALSO: Neil Hamburger!!! PLUS: A song of the week from Nick Lowe!!!!Nick Lowe - "Time Wounds All Heels": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=998fP8wMHusPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonficton: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold Brew: Candocoldbrew.com

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73:13

Episode 119: Ayn Rand, Moron

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/10/10

Cold Brew Got Me Like™ is big in Thailand??? The Nina, The Pinta and the Santa Maria. ALSO: Americans should spend more time thinking about birds. PLUS: Ayn Rand, again! Song of the Week "Ambulance Driver," by Superdrag!!!Superdrag - "Ambulance Driver": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiAQPvXxuxQPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.com Can Do Cold Brew: Candocoldbrew.com

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91:37

Episode 118: The Chris Crofton Telethon

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/10/03

The CEO of Blackrock doesn't know why everyone is in a bad mood. His name is Larry Fink - for real. He manages 9 trillion dollars. Back in the day, the townspeople would have violently dismantled his stagecoach. ALSO: Anthony Blinken plays the blues. PLUS: Chris's upcoming tour with Neil Hamburger and a song of the week from Leslie Stevens!!!!Leslie Stevens - "Secrets": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVWGshS13lcPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold

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97:17

Episode 117: 2001 Dalmatians

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/09/26

B-12 bombers full of schnapps. When your dad's job is scaring people in one of those haunted houses. ALSO: A ridiculously complimentary New Yorker article about anti-art sociopath David Zaslav. PLUS: Tina Fey in a dramatic role, life extension technology involving a pair of white shorts and a song of the week by The Replacements!!!The Replacements - "Little Mascara (Ed Stasium Mix)": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB7Sj-5oUy4Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction:

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82:23

Episode 116: Jann Wenner Stole Kids' Allowances and...

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/09/19

Old-west cosplay is NOT harmless. The Urban Cowboy is back, and he's a Republican UFC fighter driving a Dodge Ram with tinted windows. ALSO: Kevin Costner drives producer Don Was insane, and Jann Wenner tricks Chris into buying a Robbie Robbertson solo album. PLUS: The new Can Do Cold Brew Ad, and a somg of the week from Squeeze!!!Squeeze - "In Quintessence": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fSIFHxR1VwPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold Brew:

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89:55

Episode 115: Robert Downey Jr.'s Sustainable Malibu Home

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/09/13

Ayn Rand brags that her worldview was set in stone when she was two years old. She was passionate about burning oil. Vivek Ramaswamy is Ayn Rand with a rockabilly hairstyle. ALSO: Christopher Nolan is a climate criminal. Greg's wellness routine is acupuncture and Mike and Ikes. ALSO: Ross Perot, Elvis Presley was JFK's emergency room doctor and Song of the Week from The La's!!!!The La's - "I Can't Sleep": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LURvVxSZl4Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonInner Ear doc:

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91:17

Episode 114: Jake Gyllenhaal's Cappuccino

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/09/06

Rich people consider CLOSED signs an affront. Jack Gyllenhaal gets health advice from Gunther, his pony-tailed deck builder. ALSO: Hungover legislators vetoing stuff just so they can get back to their house faster. AJ Weberman was Bob Dylan's dominatrix. PLUS: The new Can Do Cold Brew ad, and song(s) of the week from the late, great Jimmy Buffett!!!Jimmy Buffett - "A Pirate Looks at Forty": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT-m3Xz-QkQ#CBGML Patreon: Patreon.com/ChrisCroftonChannel Nonfiction:

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67:28

Episode 113: The Greased Watermelon

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/08/29

The greased watermelon, the "tetra-headed monster," and student loan forgiveness. ALSO: Rahm Emanuel, throwing away all your mail and deranged YMCA sleepovers!! PLUS: Chris is doing a tour in October with Neil Hamburger!! A new Can Do Cold Brew ad and a song of the week from "Justin and the Cosmics"!!!Justin and the Cosmics - "Are All My Friends Gonna Be Strangers": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSPeVsHJAbEPatreon: Patreon.com/chriscroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold Brew:

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96:51

Episode 112: Backstage at The National with Mom

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/08/22

Greg went to Germany! He tells us about the condiments! One of the candidates for mayor of Nashville has close ties to the Proud Boys. She made the runoff. Every kind person needs to vote. ALSO: Mom tells the drummer for The National about her car seat being broken. PLUS: The VERY GOOD new Can Do Cold Brew advertisement!! Annd...song of the week from The National - "Mr. November"!!!The National - "Mr. November": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PY4VBirn08Patreon: Patreon.com/ChrisCroftonChannel

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93:03

Episode 111: 13,000 Votes

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/08/09

Chris gives the final update on his run for Nashville City Council!!! Thank you all so much!!! A Can Do Cold Brew ad!!! A song of the week from Enigma!!!Enigma - "Return to Innocence": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08Patreon: Patreon.com/ChrisCroftonChannel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.comCan Do Cold Brew: Candocoldbrew.com

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92:53

Episode 110: White People Love The Shawshank Redemption

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/08/02

People are not moving to Tennessee, Texas and Florida for "freedom." They are moving there to avoid taxes. "Rich people like bike racks." -Greg "Rich people care about two things: tax avoidance and life extension." -Chris ALSO: The Shawshank Redemption contains all the secrets of white culture. Metal detectorists finding Civil War soldiers' beards. PLUS: Mitch MOconnell, a Can Do Cold Brew ad featuring Samuel Alito and a song of the week by Bread (link to an, uhhh, amazing vid below)!!!Bread -

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103:13

Episode 109: Put Headphones on Your Houseplants

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/07/25

When there's no more gas, Dodge Rams will just be ominous-looking lawn furniture. Miltarized police, obligations to shareholders, Marjorie Taylor Greene and the importance of voting in local elections. ALSO: The new Nashville racetrack looks like a huge Bed Bath & Beyond. The fast lane of of the current track will be the new track's VIP section. PLUS: The best Can Do Cold Brew ad of all time, and a song of the week from PW Long!!!PW Long - "My Name":

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91:41

Episode 108: Cold Brew Roofers™

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/07/18

A dystopian technique for replacing a roof in one day. America's addiction to excitement. ALSO: Student loan forgiveness?? Calling vacation days "PTO." The new Can Do Cold Brew Ad. PLUS: An update on Chris's campaign, new info on the doomed submersible and a song of the week from Radio Shack occultist Mort Garson!!Mort Garson - "Tarot": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2p_x3FnAwEChris's Nashville Scene Candidate Q&A:

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98:45

Episode 107: "Dish Pit"- The Movie

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/07/11

Chris and Greg have written an A24 movie called "Dish Pit." Every role will be played by Adam Driver. To say that Licorice Pizza sucked, A24 employees had whisper to each other in a parking garage like Watergate informants. ALSO: "Coffee Church" - Chris's plan for community "kindness klatches." An update on Chris's campaign! PLUS: Greg's acupuncture cult, the new Can Do Cold Brew ad - and a song of the week from John Sebastian!John Sebastian - "You Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine":

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77:09

Episode 106: The Supreme Joke

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/07/04

New Nashville: Where the bulidings play!™ The Supreme Court has been compromised - stop letting it decide stuff. ALSO: The wealthy love roof decks because they can't see the poverty as well from up there. An update on Chris's campaign for Nashville City Council! The new Can Do Cold Brew Ad! PLUS: The earth is about to fall off its axis. Song of the week - "Telephone" - by Atlanta band SMALL!!SMALL - "Telephone": https://youtu.be/0_LaRvvwV4ECrofton for Council:

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101:31

Episode 105: The Submersible Libertarian

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/06/26

BREAKING: It turns out that the guy who made it impossible for student loans to be forgiven had a weird, very personal grudge against students. The diabolical billionaire-big brother/big sister program for Supreme Court justices. ALSO: Libertarians derugulated a submarine to the point where it killed them. PLUS: The latest Can Do Cold Brew ad, and a song (album, really) of the week from Public Enemy!!!!Public Enemy - "You're Gonna Get Yours": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYblg4i2HD8Chris Crofton

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87:03

Episode 104: Shifty Shellshock's TED Talk

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/06/20

An update on Chris's campaign for Nashville City Council!! Jenny Lewis's song "Psychos" leads to a long discussion of the band "Crazytown," which leads to Carson Daly and Tara Reid, which leads to... ALSO: TED talks, the invention of youtube, and Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. PLUS: The latest Can Do Cold Brew ad, and a song of the week from Caroline Spence!!!Caroline Spence - "Mary Oliver": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6YoPXe0uO0Donate to Chris's campaign:

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99:57

Episode 103: How to Stop Worrying and Love the...

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/06/13

Daniel Ek (pronounced Eek!), the man who owns music, thinks Neil Young is lazy. "Tricky" by Run DMC is about being very, very busy. Rich people are the worst tippers. ALSO: Old-money people are being priced out of New York and LA, and are making up stories about "freedom" and "liberals" to explain why they're leaving. They'll say anything to avoid admitting that they simply can't afford to live there. PLUS: Ted Kaczynski and the CIA, and a song of the week from Sinead O'Connor!!!Sinead O'Connor -

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80:11

Episode 102: John Philip Cold Brew

Cold Brew Got Me Like ·

2023/06/06

Chris is running for Nashville City Council!!! Greg has some groundbreaking campaign ideas. Chris thinks maybe he should be a human bowling pin. ALSO: One of the best Can Do Cold Brew ads ever, conspiracy theory ASMR, and churches full of chocolate syrup. PLUS: Chris Crofton's huge campaign fundraiser June 15th at The 5 Spot!!! A song of the week from Langhorne Slim!!!Langhorne Slim - "Sundown": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tiCU7E8y4kDonate to Chris Crofton's Campaign:

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