PODCAST

Regular Features

Steve, Log, Joe, Matt and Gav present the podcast that"s the same every week

comedy

All Episodes

01:14:33

428: The One Where They Drink Disaronno

Regular Features ·

2021/01/07

Strap in readers, as we carousel into the new year with a mildly irresponsible and Disaronno-fuelled special episode of Regular Features. Can we perform our features before Old Lazy Booze kisses us goodnight? Let's find out. FEATURES: Steve is interrupted by a very fussy guest. Gav tries to pawn a dirty goblin's ring. And Log has been to the opticians to get his eyes scooped out. Let's go! Credits: "Canon in D Major" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution

00:47:27

427: Geller's Frozen Omelette

Regular Features ·

2020/12/31

International mega-psychic and telepathic thorn in Nintendo's side, Uri Geller's back, and this time he's got an entire museum of curios for you to explore. Steve's also got something about frozen food, after he saw a bag of omelette in Iceland. Gav got bumped, HARD. See you next year, baby!

00:55:59

426: Punching Secret Christmas Bees

Regular Features ·

2020/12/24

Nadolig Llawen, Nollaig Shona Daoibh, Happy Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza to all of our beloved multi-faith and faithless reads. In this rare FOUR BOY EPISODE, Joe is visited by a very shy old acquaintance with a guitar. Steve learns the horrible truth about what's up with all the bees. And Log successfully hosts an entire Punch and Judy show while also having an on-air mental breakdown. We'll be back next week for the last episode of 2020. Love ya!

00:46:31

425: Missing Fart

Regular Features ·

2020/12/20

In this ALMOST LIVE episode, Log invites you to explore the soundscape of a reader's body, Steve's been on the hunt for his local missing dogs, and Gavin libels Colonel Sanders, then goes after Aunt Bessie for good measure.

00:37:17

424: Spitballing Pizza Emporium

Regular Features ·

2020/12/13

Giddy up, ladies. Log is open for business, with an entire bazaar's worth of Regular Features purchasables just for the readers. Joe investigates the origin of that big old pepperoni pizza in the music video for Eamon's 2004 hit, Eff It (I Don't Want You Back). Steve stares on, a hunger in his eyes and a sorrow in his heart.

00:39:58

423: Industrial Parcel Theft

Regular Features ·

2020/12/04

Gav takes matters into his own hands to catch a local parcel thief. Steve invites you into the vice-addled underworld of investment banking. And Log reports live from a tide of puppies. NOTES: Steve incorrectly states that Lena Dunham wrote Industry. While Dunham directed the first episode, the show is in fact created by Mickey Down and Konrad Kay. How embarrassing for Steve.

00:38:52

422: The Law of Diaper Discovery

Regular Features ·

2020/11/28

Joe sets out to change a few laws with some harmless presidential bullying. Log writes his own episode of Star Trek in an attempt to derive something of worth from the wasted hours spent hate-watching the newest one. And Steve, god bless him, tries his best to simply stay out of their way. Let's go!

00:36:43

421: Urethra With Us Or Against Us

Regular Features ·

2020/11/20

Joe screams and howls until flying kicks are reinstated in society. Steve brings you a hands-on preview of the new PlayStation. And Log embarks on an journey right up Joe's, well, umm, how else can we put this, penois. Well, let's not waste any more time. The quicker we start the quicker we're done and we can all get back into bed.

00:35:06

420: Claim Your Free Yacht Bird

Regular Features ·

2020/11/14

This episode entitles you to one free yacht, redeemable at your nearest marina. Log will tell you everything you need to know to get the most out of your new boat. Then Joe will unravel his own misapprehensions about what a bird is descended from. Then we'll break for lunch, have a think about what we've all done, and come back for more juice. Love you!

00:42:06

419: Should've Gone To Dream Pterodactyl

Regular Features ·

2020/11/07

Do you ever get that thing where you're just about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel yourself falling and you jerk yourself awake again? That's us, giving you a little goodnight kiss. Sorry, we just can't help ourselves! In this episode, Log dreams up an entire Steve feature. Steve is sick and tired of Specsavers sending him letters about his untested eyeballs. And Gav is a reassuring presence keeping everything from falling to pieces.

01:13:31

418: The Alienest Fiverr Timezone

Regular Features ·

2020/11/01

Hey, it's me, the Regular Features Podcast. Let me open up way wide for you. Excuse me. Wow, what have we got here?! Gav has rented a Morgan Freeman voice. Joe has got the Alienest alien show of London. And Steve refuses to put his clock back, like a real time criminal. Hope you like our voices because that's all this is, baby.

00:28:04

417: Haunted Space Treasure

Regular Features ·

2020/10/23

We're back to basics, stripped down, nude and unplugged. Log takes us to a haunted manor. Steve searches the cosmos for treasures untold, and Gav spends the night in a spooky, nay-spook-tastic, cottage. That's right, it's Regular Features doing what it does best: premature, mid-October ghost whimsy. Enjoy!

00:58:23

416: Pubwatch Wizard Squash

Regular Features ·

2020/10/15

Let us whet your ears with our special ear-whetting words. Are they whet yet? Then let's begin, baby. In this episode, Steve is chased around his place of work by a mean wizard. Joe invites us on a squash flavoured adventure of pickleball proportions. And Log reports back from yet another informative and helpful pubwatch session that's not an absolute waste of his time.

00:50:57

415: Akon City Trump Rap

Regular Features ·

2020/10/08

In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Joe investigates Akon's ambitious city building side gig, Steve waxes poetic about Trump's havin' honked up a hot guff of rona, and Gav uncovers the hidden meaning behind the song titles of some of your most revered rap megastars. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.

00:49:44

414: Rainy Stink Eggs

Regular Features ·

2020/10/03

Steve ranks a box of eggs. Joe got a big damn stink following him around. Gav has become infatuated with the rain. You can't say fairer than that, can you? If you can, if you're able to say fairer than that, please write to us and let us know how you did it, because we're stumped.

00:49:03

413: Honey I Nut The Cheerios

Regular Features ·

2020/09/26

Grab the heaviest spoon in the kitchen and tuck into this week's big bowlful of ice cold Regular Features, fortified with so much vitamin BEE it will make your freakin' head spin off into a bin and the bin man come and he take it away. Wow! In this episode, Gav challenges you to name the cereal in his mouth, Steve has been forging documents, and a-Log-forever-on-the-backfoot scrambles to implement yet more last-minute government-mandated pandemic accommodations to his confused pub. PODCAST NOTES:

01:01:59

412: Wet Eggs and Big Boys

Regular Features ·

2020/09/18

In this episode? Joe's got saturated eggs from Morrisons. Steve confers the insatiable libido of Mister Game & Watch. And friend of the podcast Zim has an update on the status of his biggest boys.

00:36:55

411: The Xbox Replacement Room

Regular Features ·

2020/09/11

In this episode, Log lines up his successor, Steve is confounded by the sheer number and variety of new Xboxes, and Gav presses the big red abort button on a feature too hot for even his tastes.

00:37:32

410: Dark Milk Teeth

Regular Features ·

2020/09/04

Open your hearts and close your eyes, fill your boots and empty your pockets, it's another episode of the Regular Features podcast. In this one, Joe's been eating in a dark room, Steve's been investigating his dentist's personal habits, and Log's courted sponsors of the dairy variety. My pasta is boiling over so I must stop writing this description x

00:43:09

409: How To Clean Your Unicorn

Regular Features ·

2020/08/28

Hey Google spiders, wrap your little legs around this bad boy. Steve lays out the steps required to properly disinfect a desk. HOW HIEGHT IS A TOM CRUISE. Gav's been off to see Tenet. BERNIE SANDERS NUDES PICS THANKS. And Log has had a visit from a detective horse who investigates cryptic murders. VIDEO OF CAT. Alright, we're done here. Wrap it up and let's go.

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