PODCAST

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

Marshall Burtcher

Exploring how we heal and thrive beyond codependency, neglect, and narcissistic abuse.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

17:06

Is It Time To Be The Power And Authority Over Your Life?

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/09/25

It will be essential, at some point, to admit to and embrace the authority and power you rightly, naturally possess to direct and govern your life.You cannot exit codependency without this vital step, as it will keep you tethered to the power of other people's approval, rejection, disappointment, and agreement.The anxiety of making your own choice, following your own path, even trusting yourself to choose what's best for you on a daily basis comes from tethering our personal authority a...

14:52

How I View Codependency And The Codependent -...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/09/11

How a therapist, coach, mentor, support community, or even yourself view codependency and codependents directly influences the outcomes, results, and transformation you experience (or don't) in that relationship.This is why it is crucial you're aware of how prospective mentors, therapists, coaches, and so forth view and understand you and the topic you're working with. Today, I share how I view codependency and codependents. This will help you make a more informed decision about i...

9:46

The Importance of Identifying And Integrating The...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/09/04

The Importance of Gains:What is a gain? It is a positive outcome we receive through a choice we make or a choice we do not make. An example: I gained my peace of mind by not going back to the dysfunctional person.Why does this matter? Gains are the benefits we receive with a positive, healthy change. If we let ourselves recognize and magnify the gain, it helps our body adapt and adjust quickly to the new state of affairs rather than linger in the yearning, seekin...

14:13

Your Pain vs The Story You Tell

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/08/28

Pain vs Your StoryTransformation of a person's pain-filled life to a joy-filled life is the journey of healing and becoming who you truly be. It has three Phases: Survival, Healing, and Creation And in each of these, there is a work we do around identity and one's pain.In the Survival Phase, the pain and the identity are the same. "I am angry!" "I am shameful!" "I am unworthy!" "I am invisible!" This creates the never-ending loop of painful outc...

11:04

The Burden of Cause

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/08/21

Burden of CauseWhat is the "burden of cause"? It is a term I use to describe believing you cause other people to treat you the way they treated you. When we are enmeshed this way, we will internalize people's behaviors as a reflection of some internal flaw or problem that we then must change. This leads us to believe that the other person will change, too, creating a potent fantasy that leaves us hurting, helpless, and confused.Listen in this episode to learn how to detect if...

16:52

Feeling Lost In Other People's Lives, Feelings,...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/07/24

De-centering others and centering yourself in your life is *necessary*, not selfish.It is about understanding what matters personally to you while setting aside other people's opinions and perspectives of what you should be centering in your life.They are not the authority, and they do not live with the outcome like you do.You are the authority. You inherent the outcome and consequence of your actions. Thus, you must center yourself if your life is to yield well-being, peace, sati...

11:52

Knowledge Overwhelm Is Sabotaging Your Healing

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/07/20

Knowledge overwhelm is a primary factor in experiencing freeze, procrastination, and loops of stagnation when you're trying to heal from trauma and instability.The mind's ravenous appetite for knowledge is driven by a fantasy that "if I'd only known better, I could have done better". There's a deep assumption that we're lacking something specific and when we find that specific thing, we will HEAL! What makes this so compelling is that it isn't necessarily wrong. But it is als...

11:58

Going Slow - It Is A Must

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/07/18

Going Slow - It Is A MustTo heal, we must sloooooow down.To know ourselves, we must sloooooow down.To find direction in our lives, we must slooooooow down.Codependency, trauma, and the culture of "productivity" demands you speed up.You get it done now.Faster! Faster! FASTER! Healing, thriving, having a sense of self, liking yourself, loving yourself, loving others, feeling satisfaction - these all come from first slooooowing down. Slowing down helps us hear our own voice. It ...

15:37

Becoming Your Own Protector To Nurture Secure Attachment

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/07/10

Being neglected, being abused, being shoved into the world without guidance, care, shelter, or protection wired our attachment systems to be on high alert and braced for danger.Depending on what feels safest, your attachment system may try to control external things, resulting in anxious attachment.Or it may choose to avoid the threat all together and be needless and "independent", creating avoidant attachment.Or, if you're like me, you might experience high levels of anxiety about approachin...

11:27

Emotional Perfectionism: Making sure you feel the...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/06/27

Emotional Perfectionism, Part One: Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real thingsI define emotional perfectionism as the rigid habit of feeling what one "should feel" in order to satisfy the real or perceived expectations of others.It is a sub-type of General Perfectionism, where behaviors and expressions are tailored to meet external expectations. This is a codependency behavior designed to help procure safety, belonging, and worth.Emotional perfectionism shows up as:- Ig...

8:12

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Creation...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/06/21

Creation Phase is where you arrive with the ability to determine what kind of experiences you want to have, and then using your personal power, intuition, and skills, go out and receive those experiences.This all depends on knowing what you *actually* want, not what you think you want (which is often a product of trauma controling things rather than a genuine alignment within ourselves).This phase is all about understanding, creating, and following the alignments that lead you to outcomes are...

10:02

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Healing...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/06/19

The Healing Phase is the deep work of unbecoming your codependency and discovering who you are beyond your pain, trauma, and survival self. This is where we develop the necessary skills, experience and expertise we didn't get growing up, along with amplifying our safety, our belonging, and deeply embodying our self-worth.Learn how I work with this phase and how you can start to in your life in today's episode.The Tool: https://sir.freetheself.com*** START YOUR WORK BY JOINING THE C...

15:30

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Survival...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/06/13

Survival is the phase we all start in. It is the phase where we realize our codependency and begin the big work of healing that codependency and become who we actually are.This phase is noted by the presents of:- Anxiety- Shame- Freeze and fawn impulses in the body- Feeling depressed, collapsed, powerless - People-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding conflict to keep the peace, and moreLearn what I do with this phase and how to exit it in today's episode!The Tool: https://drp.fr...

12:32

Is It Time To Quit? The Uncanny Power of Quitting To...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/06/06

Quitting - It is necessary in the healing journey.Quitting relationships.Quitting fixing.Quitting chasing fantasy outcomes.Quitting.It makes space for new, healthy outcomes to come into your life.It makes it possible for you to face the pain that needs the loving care of your attention and loving care of community so it can heal.Quitting.That is what we explore in this week's episode.*** START YOUR WORK BY JOINING THE COMMUNITYAre you seeking guidance in navigating your journey through the th...

8:28

Why you only love yourself when things are going well

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/05/23

Episode: Why you only love yourself when things are going wellWhen we live from a love equation that says "I'm only lovable when...", we are being controlled and manipulated. This leads us to invest precious time, energy, and attention on satisfying these conditions and then *maintaining* them.No wonder we burn out!Learn what do about this in today's episode:*** START YOUR WORKLooking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?Start your work here: h...

10:42

Two Hidden Factors That Short Circuit Your Self-Love

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/05/15

Two Hidden Factors That Short Circuit Your Self-LoveReally, actually loving yourself is a profound challenge when we come from codependency and love-is-earned relationship and family systems. We are striving to earn the love, earn the permission, become worthy, and demostrate that we deserve it.To break out of this prison, you need to understand the two hidden factors that keep you chasing love.We explore these factors in today's episode!*** START YOUR WORKLooking for more guidance, tools, su...

8:27

The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from...

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/05/08

Episode: The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from loving yourselfTransaction, earned love teaches us that we must - MUST - seek, chase, and perform for love.This means we have to be "just right" in the eyes of the other or we won't get love.This means that when there are challenges, problems, hiccups, mistakes, love is in jeopardy.This means we start LIVING like we're always just on the edge of losing love.And that results in:- Anxiety about what others feel and think about us- a...

13:20

Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love Yourself

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/05/02

Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love YourselfWhen you're rewarded with praise, attention, or affection for doing something, your body will see performance and love as the same thing.When you're presence is met with warmth, praise, attention, or affection on a consistent basis, your body will see your existence and love as the same thing. You deserve to know the second form of love.Learn what is really going on and your first step in really, actually loving yourself in today's episod...

12:25

Codependency And Shame - What's Really Happening

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/04/19

10:02

3 Priorities For Satisfaction If You're Codependent

Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher ·

2024/04/17

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Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

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