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PODCAST

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe

DREAD Podcast Network

A Horror Movie/Comedy Podcast... with a twist! What do you get when two best friends, and horror movie fans, convince themselves that they would definitely be the Final Girls at the end of the movie and never the ones “running up the stairs when they should be going out the front door?" You get Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe (KKSAM for short). Each week, Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter take turns spoiling the fuck out of a horror movie one of them hasn"t seen. Through very scientific (not

tv & film

All Episodes

02:28:44

Ep. 99: The People under the Stairs: “The Tale of...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/07/08

Ket tells Kim about The People Under the Stairs starring Brandon Quintin Adams, A.J. Langer and Ving Rhames. This movie turned Kim into a straight-up wet robot (what???). We explore when it is and isn’t appropriate to call people ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ Spoiler alert: it’s NOT when they’re your brother or sister! It also becomes clear that Ketryn does not know what shotguns sound like. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The People Under the Stairs. Dir. Wes Craven Writer Wes

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02:37:35

Ep. 98: The Final Girls: “The Tale of Rulesy V. McJudy”

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/07/01

Kim tells Ket about The Final Girls starring Malin Akerman, Taissa Farmiga and literally everyone else. Ket starts off the telling by offending their large Gertrude population. We also get to the bottom of Kim’s slow slide into full british jargon. There is also another glaring difference between the girls’ brains, but they both still ugly cried at this movie. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Final Girls. Dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson Writers M.A. Fortin, Joshua John

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02:09:28

Ep. 97: The Lighthouse: ”The Tale of Jesus and Cedric...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/06/24

Ket tells Kim about The Lighthouse starring Willem Dafoe (Jesus) and Rob Pattinson (Cedric Diggory). We start off the episode with Kim’s harrowing journey to the Coachella for ants. Then we segue into what inanimate objects one should fornicate with. The mystery of the mergina is FINALLY solved. But Kim is still less than enthused by the end of it all. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Lighthouse. Dir. Robert Eggers Writers Robert Eggers, Max Eggers CALL US!

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02:35:26

Ep. 96: The Invisible Man: “The Tale of The Patron...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/06/17

Kim tells Ket about The Invisible Man (2020) starring Elisabeth Moss. In quarantine, Ketryn has become a full blown goldfish with a 3 second memory. But they do coin a new phrase: The Sammarmy. They protect the girls from a litany of internet trolls and they’re so grateful. So join The Patron Saint of Music and Edward Meat Tenderizer hands. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Invisible Man. Dir. Leigh Whannell Writer Leigh Whannell CALL US! 323-451-5494 Our 100th

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02:47:31

Ep. 95: Slaughterhouse Rulez: “The Tale of...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/06/10

Ket tells Kim about Slaughterhouse Rulez starring Michael Sheen and Simon Pegg. It should have been Harry Potter meets horror. Instead it was confusion meets indigestion. Kim ends up having to carry her own donkey the final stretch and Ketryn gets sucked into her own personal Adam Scott Mandela Effect. In this time of perpetual turmoil, we all just want a pint of ice cream but that doesn’t mean you won’t get the bloats. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Slaughterhouse

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00:00:18

#PodcastBlackOut

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/06/03

Hi Sammies, we will not be releasing an episode today. This is our time to listen and to step up to support our black brother and sisters. Here are some links on ways we can engage and educate ourselves during this time. Join Kim and Ketryn in learning how we can be the best allies we can. #BlackLivesMatter #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd #SayTheirName Ways To Help from Black Lives Matter: blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ (petitions, donate, resources, info for protesters, faq) Ongoing BLM and COVID

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02:25:00

Ep. 94: The Lodge: “The Tale of the Venn Diagram of...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/05/27

Kim tells Ket about The Lodge starring Riley Keough. The girls find them in a purgatory-like, snow space yet again. We learn that Kim’s 80’s ghost has been cheating on her and is engaged. Speaking of ghosts, the girls weigh in on who would be a better lay: ghost or demon? They’ll also discuss the venn diagram of their subsequent interests and discover that neither of them may be cut out for step-mommery. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Lodge. Dir. Severin Fiala,

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02:31:38

Ep. 93: The Ritual: “The Tale of Releasing the Krakaren”

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/05/20

Ket tells Kim about The Ritual starring Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert James-Collier and Sam Troughton. Kim teaches us all the British slang she’s learned over the years being a “right slag.” They try to decipher who each of their friends would be on this Lad’s Holiday that they would never go on (Kris is Dom). The girls also get a visit from The Village People. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Ritual. Dir. David Bruckner Writers Joe Barton, Adam Nevill Get

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02:48:53

Ep. 92: The Conjuring 2: “The Tale of Talking About...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/05/13

Kim tells Ket about The Conjuring 2 starring Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson. The girls discuss the Mandela Effect (which I could swear they’ve discussed before - but maybe that was in an alternate universe… like the one where Berenstein Bears is spelled wrong.) We get a glimpse into Ketryn’s troubling parenting ethos and we vow to burn all recliners. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Conjuring 2. Dir. James Wan Writers Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes, David Leslie Johnson,

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02:43:33

Ep. 91: Porno: “The Tale of Be Careful What You Ask For”

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/05/06

Ket tells Kim about the Fangoria film, Porno, starring Jillian Mueller, Robbie Tann, Larry Saperstein, Glenn Stott, and Evan Daves. Welp, the girls wanted to see more dick. Man, did they get it. Yeesh! But besides that, the girls want to remind you to shower before you go through the pearly gates of Heaven and to make sure you provide Heavy Metal Jeff with a death certificate of your loved ones. Most importantly… CBTL. Most, MOST importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Porno. Dir. Keola

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02:46:24

Ep. 90: Slumber Party Massacre: “The Tale of Snail...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/04/29

Kim tells Ket about Slumber Party Massacre (thanks to their amazing Patrons!) starring Michelle Michaels and Robin Stille. It starts off rocky. They forget to cheers and therefore have to start the episode over and then Ketryn almost kills Kim with a crotch shot. They search, in vain, for a dick and the search is lead by a horny, 29 year-old pre-teen. But at least pizza is $6… oh, wait. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Slumber Party Massacre. Dir. Amy Holden Jones Writer

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02:25:11

Ep. 89: Harpoon: “The Tale of Quarantine with a...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/04/22

Ket tells Kim about Harpoon starring Munro Chambers, Christopher Gray and Emily Tyra. The girls are still in quarantine and they’re gettin’ weird with it. Ket is buying too many pillows, getting weighed against her will, and erecting a gauntlet for Kim’s suitors. Kim is existing outside of space and time and all that exists for her is the here and now… apparently. So let’s drink some seagulls and start catchin’ blood drops with our tongues. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in

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02:26:11

Ep.88: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil: ““The Tale of People...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/04/15

Kim tells Ket about Tucker & Dale vs. Evil starring Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk and Katrina Bowden. The most important lesson we can learn is that being named Chad is not your fault… not changing your name, is. The girls reiterate the importance of learning where the safety is on ALL GUNS. And Ket changes the theme of Kim’s hypothetical wedding to a “Tucker & Dale” theme. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Dir. Eli Craig Writer Eli Craig,

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03:01:51

Ep. 87: Repo! The Genetic Opera: “The Tale of Giles...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/04/08

Ket tells Kim about Repo (not man)! The Genetic Opera starring Anthony Head, Paul Sorvino and Bill Moseley. It’s their first remote recording since that quarantine life began and they miss each other’s faces. The girls contemplate starting the KKSAM band. Ketryn goes through a very complicated ‘Giles’ journey and they realize that sometimes the only solution is to just head straight to the moon. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Repo! The Genetic Opera. Dir. Darren Lynn

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01:20:48

Ep. 86: Bliss: “A Tale of a Simpler Time on Bath Salts”

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/04/01

Kim tells Ket about Bliss starring Dora Madison, Jeremy Gardner and our buddy Graham Skipper. Let the girls transport you back to a far simpler time when we could leave our house and all we had to worry about was vampires on bath salts eating our faces. Kim will learn she can ‘sit some out’, Ket will learn she’s far too anal about rent to do drugs and neither will learn the difference between a joint, a spliff and a blunt. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Bliss. Dir. Joe

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01:43:49

Ep. 85: A Tale of Two Sisters: “And Also A Tale of...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/03/25

Ket tells Kim about our Patreon Pick, A Tale of Two SIsters starring Soo-Jung Lim and Guen-Young Moon. The girls begin to process the world-wide quarantine (WASH YOUR HANDS AND STAY HOME!) and bring you some little positivities to help you get through. They also discuss the origin of hands and what games they’ll be playing in the nursing home together. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in A Tale of Two Sisters. Dir. Jee-woon Kim Writer Jee-woon Kim Get acquainted with

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01:52:08

Ep. 84: A Quiet Place: “The Tale of ‘A Loud Place’,...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/03/18

Kim tells Ket about A Quiet Place (FINALLY) starring Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. What better way to brave the apocalypse than by watching a movie about the apocalypse? The girls decide that they need to beat the crap out of each other to see how quiet they can be. We also learn that anyone in Arik’s tribe during a quiet apocalypse will be immediately dead. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in A Quiet Place. Dir. John Krasinski Writers Scott Beck, Bryan Woods, John

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02:19:47

Ep. 83: Friday the 13th Part 2: “The Tale of Jason...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/03/11

Ket tells Kim about installment number 2 of the saga of Jason Voorhees starring Amy Steel and John Furey. We just gotta see how this whole “Jason thing” is playing out! Here are a couple things we learned about Jason: he is a clumsy turtle; he’s in need of a Rocky-esque training montage; he’s sporting… a burpsmap! How did you guys not tell us this?! Most importantly, we’ll find out if Kim will live or die in Friday the 13th Part 2. Dir. Steve Miner Writers Ron Kurz, Victor Miller KKSAM LIVE

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02:23:34

Ep. 82: A Dark Song: “A Tale of Jerry Tooneytown”

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/03/04

Kim tells Ket about A Dark Song starring Catherine Walker and Steve Oram. There will be a shocking reveal about who is actually more in danger of being cultified. We’ll get to the bottom of Kim and Ket’s feelings on melons… FINALLY. Also, and most importantly, may we introduce to you our new best bro, Jerry Tooneytown. Most most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in A Dark Song. Dir. Liam Gavin Writer Liam Gavin KKSAM LIVE SHOW! Sunday March 15, 2020 7pm at El Cid on Sunset

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02:10:44

Ep. 81: American Mary: “The Tale of Arik Keeping our...

Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe ·

2020/02/26

Ket tells Kim about Arik’s Birthday pick by The Soska Sisters, American Mary starring Katherine Isabelle. So grab an extra turkey leg from your sutured turkeys and buckle up. It’s gonna be a bloody, slicey ride. Ketryn will acquire a new Betty Boop impression to add to her very limited repertoire. We’ll test the marketability of a new candle scent: Bag of Rags and Skin. And the girls will work out the logistics of switching arms. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in American

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