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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

102:02

30: Don't Masturbate To Death

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/04/23

Episode 30 shows up with a bang. Literally. Some talk about how much April sucks, vaginal steaming bars, Crystal's new auntie tribe and the importance of tipping. Dont ask flight crews to do your dirty deeds, queens and princesses, overbearing moms and how Pata Fria's been spending her free time. Enjoy xo

en

102:42

29: I Like To Get Stretched

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/04/16

After an interesting weekend episode 29 covers it all. Pata Fria had a panic, Crystal Barbie and family keep things interesting. Some info and details about kink life, sugar daddies are just older boyfriends, a few celebrity news stories, Planet Fitness does dirty biz, press on nails and listener questions. Enjoy xo

en

121:40

28: Funerals Should Be Funny

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/04/08

This week a lot of subjects are covered. White privilege is definitely real, Pata Fria made it to Detroit, Crystal does a good deed, pay attention to signs the universe is sending you, put the car in park before you get out, unfortunate news, Fisting is popular, and loads of listener questions.

en

112:34

27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/04/01

Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person, STRONG animal love, sex workers tend to steal, Crystal doesn't eat food or wear panties, Pata Fria completely misunderstood an eBay ad, the latest MJ accusers might be some damn liars, be a good friend or you're outta here, keeping your relationship hiccups within your relationship, and RIP NIPSEY HUSSLE 🙏

en

87:01

26: I Hate Babies

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/03/27

It’s dysfunction as usual this week with another ER visit, soccer startup, Crystal’s new shoes and Pata Fria’s “recovery” to name a few. Abortion, some recent news, the importance of transparency and interesting bodily facts are also discussed. Listener questions and a few “would you rathers” are included to finish you off. Enjoy xo

en

95:58

25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/03/19

This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to their younger selves, astronauts get a lot of herpes, some women really love dick pics, the French appreciate gross smells, can you really be yourself? and much more. Enjoy, xo

en

97:17

24: Would You Rather...

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/03/12

This week episode 24 begins with some feelings about the weather, how we're not anti-pimp and calling men a bitch is a universal no no. Stevi handles business, strip club etiquette and a little talk about Michael Jackson is discussed. More paranormal activity, is makeup catfishing and some awesome listener questions are answered. Mostly. *Our views are our own and not always agreed upon lol... enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction

en

97:38

23: My Penis Was Crying Your Name

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/03/05

This week’s episode begins with dreams, and spirt communication, discussion of the new MJ documentary, and Billy’s trip to Target for tampons. The ladies also share some info on interesting sex facts, Dubai showers, a begging Bay Area news anchor, and a hypothetical kidnapping. As always, enjoy.

en

137:11

22: Who Thought This Was A Good Idea

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/02/27

This week we tried something new and had our producer Lev sit in. He won't be back. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

127:11

21: Stop Petting The Cat and Finish

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/02/19

This week opens up with a Valentine's Day recap, some parental stress and a warning about Love Potion. Weird news, a 3D printable death chamber and interesting poop preferences are also shared. Some listener questions are answered followed by a disturbing dirty client story. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

113:24

20: Two for Twomp

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/02/12

This week starts off w some celebrity drama, blackface fashion becoming an intentional trend, it's Black History Month, grey sweats are for bachelors only, pathological liars, Pata shares an unfortunate incident (trigger warning: a sexual assault is discussed), ending with a little porch surgery among friends. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

109:17

19: Everything Is Gay

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/02/05

This week there's some talk about problematic celebrities, the beginning of Black History Month, our shitty government, how the internet really can be great, interesting animal facts, listener questions and a story about bikers undoing their pants. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

135:34

18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/01/29

This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth control tips, war on sex workers, views on Future and Chris Brown, how to avoid being roofied, and why you should always double check your teeth before going to a dentist appointment. As always, enjoy. Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

102:39

17: Are You International?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/01/22

This week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge to only steal from big corporations, listeners questions, a couple sleep walking stories and book yourself a Dom TKO ;) Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

102:27

16: So Fuckin Majestic

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/01/15

The following are Rob's guy notes: 1. Range rover white girl curves 2. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3. Back page and cryptocurrency 4. Minimalism 5. Documentary disagreements 6. Sexworkers 7. Good karma moments 8. Government fuck ups 9. Face advice 10. Golden showers and rough sex 11. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12. Pata family crack rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

110:43

15: Stay Outta The Creek

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/01/09

Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

92:05

14: God's Well

Hello Dysfunction ·

2019/01/01

It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children. Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

82:31

13: "Cheese Sandwiches"

Hello Dysfunction ·

2018/12/25

This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

88:42

12: The Playboy Club

Hello Dysfunction ·

2018/12/18

Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood snitching, and good ol' Florida also make an appearance this episode. As always, enjoy. PS- Pata Fria is still NOT a doctor. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

en

94:27

11: Gramma's Heart Attack

Hello Dysfunction ·

2018/12/11

This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata Fria's childhood antics, nail shop preferences, and gramma's "heart attack." This episode does require a trigger warning, as sexual assault is discussed. As always, enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter

en

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