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PODCAST

Paper Cuts

Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more. Illustrations by Modern Toss:

news news commentary

All Episodes

37:20

Trump indictment excitement – plus: Ban kids from pubs?

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/02

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Trump faces more charges. How does the British media handle the chaotic former US president? Plus, the Voyager 2 probe is lost in space. Of course, the Daily Star loves this boffin mishap. Plus – should we ban kids from pubs? Pet peeves of restaurant pros. And Rishi Sunak pours a pathetic pint. New Statesman writer and author Jonn Elledge and comedian and writer Gráinne Maguire help Andrew Harrison hack through the newsprint jungle. Follow Paper

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32:45

Daily Mail goes for Woke – Plus the Papers’ pet hates

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/31

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Sunak ploughs further into the climate war in his gas guzzler. Plus, the Daily Mail compiles its woke list – who missed out on such an accolade? And, the papers all have their particular pet hates – why? Rob Hutton is joined by historian and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian and actor extraordinaire Fergus Craig. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow Illustrations by

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27:52

It’s a Gas Gas Ga$! Energy profits outrage – plus...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/28

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Rage and disbelief as British Gas rakes in record profits of £969m from cash-strapped customers. Sinéad O’Connor was a saint, say papers who treated her as a madwoman when she was alive. Footballers bin principles to take Saudi cash. And will more sex stop you getting cancer? Miranda Sawyer is joined by stand-up comic Fin Taylor and Marie le Conte of the New Statesman (and everywhere else) to battle the ravening newsbeast. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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33:53

Farage Against the Cash Machine – plus Gregg...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/26

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Farage’s banking debacle continues to distract from the world burning. Meanwhile Rishi’s on the rampage as he wages war on eco pledges to make himself look tough. Plus, Gregg Wallace’s man-meat mockumentary puts the nation off its mid-morning steak bakes. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and actor Marcus Brigstocke and Jonn Elledge, author and New Statesman columnist to gaze in bewilderment at the Great British Press. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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33:51

Musk gives Twitter the bird – plus the Med’s on fire

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/24

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The blue bird’s over. Elon Musk wants to rebrand Twitter as “X”. Why? And would you trust the world’s most unpredictable billionaire with your bank details? Plus, firestorms in Rhodes and calls to cut green policies on the front pages. Will the papers make the connection? And one of our panel is taking the Ashes result very hard. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Athena Kugblenu and The Critic magazine’s parliamentary sketch writer Rob Hutton to

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35:17

By-election spin frenzy – plus Inside “manky”...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/21

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The press frantically spin the triple by-election to suit their very specific agendas. How better to combat the cost of living crisis than a massive pay rise for the Royal Family? The Mail goes all woke-feminist and discovers the Plot to Stop Women’s Football (in the 1920s). And the truly terrible end-of-term presents that kids give their teachers. Comedian Ria Lina and writer, historian and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann hoover up the headlines with

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34:35

Farage’s Toad Rage — plus Phones are Home Wreckers

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/19

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The world is on fire but absolute banker Nigel Farage is still hogging attention. Plus, could “phubbing” (snubbing your partner for your phone) wreck your relationship? And the best and worst headlines from another day of newspaper madness. Miranda Sawyer nose-dives into the swimming pool of news with New Statesman columnist Marie le Conte and comedian and writer Athena Kugblenu. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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34:59

Keir in the Headlights – plus Rishi “rip-off”...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/17

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Is Starmer overdoing the whole prudence, no-spending-for-you thing? Short of ideas, Sunak decided the biggest problem facing Britain is… Mickey Mouse degrees? Britain’s thickest crooks. This week’s #FixTheHeadline winner. And you won’t BELIEVE what “boffins” are doing with spiderwebs… Comedian Grainne Maguire and the New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge nosedive into a pile of newsprint with Miranda Sawyer. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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36:49

Boris burner phone fiasco – plus Dele Alli’s bravery

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/14

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Boris Johnson says he “can’t remember” the PIN for his secrets-stuffed phone. Dog ate my homework or what? Courage of soccer star Dele Alli: he talks of being abused as a child and his mental health problems. The Government’s stingy pay deal for teachers and doctors. And should we ban gorillas from using mobile phones? Miranda Sawyer goes on a newsprint binge with not one but TWO Parliamentary sketch-writers: John Crace of the Guardian and The Critic’s

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35:43

BBC Scandal Rages On – plus Barbie Takes Over the World

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/12

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The BBC scandal has gone from binfire to blaze – despite stories shifting, The Sun is still going… Plus, in another heavyweight clash, it’s Hunt vs Sunak vs the Cabinet in a public sector pay row. And, Barbie madness – finally, we can all wear pink! Miranda Sawyer chews through the news with historian and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian-writer extraordinaire Fergus Craig. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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36:44

BBC Sex Shame Star – plus Rise of the Energy Vampires

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/10

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The papers can’t name the star allegedly involved in the BBC sex pictures scandal – so they’re putting the boot into the Beeb anyway. Are YOU an energy vampire? Does Keir Starmer really “hate tree-huggers”? And our #FixTheHeadline competition sweeps the nation. Miranda Sawyer gorges on the buffet of news with comedian and former forensic investigator (really!) Ria Lina and New Statesman columnist Marie le Conte. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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35:23

Inside Prigozhin’s gangster paradise – plus, Who...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/07

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Wagner warlord Prigozhin’s bachelor pad is straight from MTV Cribs: Fascist Crazies Edition. Who’s afraid of Boris Johnson’s WhatsApp messages? (Clue: rhymes with “fishy”). And it’s Musk and Twitter versus Meta and Threads in the Clusterzuck of the Century (so far). Miranda Sawyer fires up the Fiat 500 of news with comedian and doomscroller Suchandrika Chakrabarti and The Critic’s parliamentary sketchwriter Rob Hutton. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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39:53

Scrub up at the Captain Tom spa – plus Liz Jones’s...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/05

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Don’t judge Captain Tom’s daughter’s spa and pool complex til you’ve walked a mile (round the back garden) in her shoes. The Mail’s in-house Carrie Bradshaw Liz Jones meets her divorced ex for a column so embarrassing it cringed spacetime inside out. And a big bank Coutts poor Nigel Farage down to size. It’s a conspiracy!! (Note: it’s not a conspiracy). Comedian Matt Green and the New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge throw a hot dime to plucky newsgirl Miranda

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33:18

Sunak’s a Tightwad – plus Ashes to Bashes! Big beef...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/07/03

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Billionaire spouse Rishi Sunak in cheapskate charity donation shocker. The Aussies sneak a win in the cricket prompting “apoplectic chuntering” in the Mail and Telegraph. And would you rather be boiled in the bag than cremated after you die? The Critic’s parliamentary sketchwriter Rob Hutton and comedian Grainne Maguire join Miranda Sawyer to hack through the wall of newsprint. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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33:23

Paris is burning – Braverman’s gurning

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/30

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Braverman in a rage as her Rwanda plan lies in tatters. Riots all over France. And “stop calling us boffins!” say boffins – in the Star, of course. New Statesman columnist Marie Le Conte and comedian Fin Taylor of Fin vs the Internet join Miranda Sawyer on top of a big pile of newsprint. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow/ Illustrations by Modern Toss

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33:15

Matt Han-Cocks it up – plus Elon in a K-hole?

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/28

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Hapless handsy health sec Matt Hancock faces the music at the COVID inquiry. Who’ll take gold in the Drug Olympics? And does Elon Musk really have a taste for ketamine? TV and radio presenter Jamie East and journalist Jonn Elledge join Miranda Sawyer to binge on today’s ink. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow/ Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com/ Written and

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33:46

Wag Wars: Russia in Turmoil — Plus Brit Gets a Pizza...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/26

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Russian coup continues to dominate the news — does anyone really know what's going on? Plus Glasto best bits and CHEESED OFF! Cry-baby Brit blames ingredients for losing pizza contest. Historian and writer Alex Von Tunzelmann and comedian Athena Kugblenu join Miranda Sawyer to slice through today's hot steaming pizza pie of news. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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30:42

All Quiet on the Brexit Front? — Plus Musk and Mark’s...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/23

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Sunak loses his interest rate battle, while the papers lose all interest in Brexit… Meanwhile, the submarine tragedy reaches a grim conclusion. And — who’s your money on in a Musk vs Zuckerberg cage match? (No, seriously…) The New Statesman’s Rachel Cunliffe, comedian Fin Taylor join host and parliamentary sketchwriter Rob Hutton to muse the news. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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30:49

Submarine nightmare, mortgage mayhem – and should you...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/21

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The nightmare of the Titanic submarine. What’s behind the “schoolkids identify as cats and dinosaurs” panic? Mortgage misery everywhere. And should you really not wash your underpants for six months? The Guardian thinks so. Presenter of the Smart7 podcast Jamie East and Oh God, What Now?’s Seth Thévoz join Miranda Sawyer to plunge into a whiff journalistic laundry bin. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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31:32

Video killed the Partygate stars – plus “Bernard...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/06/19

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: What’s behind the Mirror’s Partygate video scoop? Why is the Mail is gunning for Bernard Jenkin? And who’s trying to take the booze out of Britain’s hard-earned pints? Comedian Fergus Craig and The Critic magazine’s parliamentary sketchwriter Rob Hutton join Miranda Sawyer to marvel at tomorrow’s chip paper. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow/ Illustrations by Modern Toss

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