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PODCAST

Childproof

Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom

Parenting is hard, but it"s even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

15:38

Not Goodbye, But See You Soon (And You'll See Us)

Childproof ·

2024/12/25

This week, Gwenna and Tori share some sad - but ultimately exciting - news. Childproof is parting ways with Betches Media, but the show lives on! We're going on a short break for the holidays, and to get situated, but there will be a new episode dropping in January. Plus, all future episodes will be going up on YouTube as well, along with a ton of exciting video content on both of our channels! Stay subscribed right here for the audio version, and make sure you're following us on all social media so

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49:53

Sibling Math & Tooth Fairy Lore

Childproof ·

2024/12/18

Context matters when you want to call your brother a Silly Pumpkin Doo-Doo Head. This week, Gwenna and Tori discuss the complexities of sibling dynamics with your kids, from fairness in gift giving, to baby tooth envy, and how to explain when name calling crosses the boundary from playful to mean. They compare notes on what to do when your kids are fighting, how to foster each of their individual personalities, and what makes a meaningful apology.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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50:54

Elf On A Shelf, Sensory Santa, & Letting Go Of Mom Guilt

Childproof ·

2024/12/11

Have a melancholy Christmas, it is…a time of year. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their struggle to get into the holiday spirit, and the way they're living vicariously through their kids' joy. They unpack the feeling of inadequacy wrapped up in Elf on a Shelf, the unrealistic expectations that social media sets us up for, and quality over quantity when it comes to gifts for your kids. Sometimes, the simplest family traditions can make this time of year the most special, and it's ok to let go of

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43:31

The Ultimate Mom Gift Guide

Childproof ·

2024/12/04

Sometimes, you just have to push through the discomfort and get really specific. This week, Gwenna and Tori discuss what moms actually want for the holidays, how to give a truly thoughtful gift that won't break the bank, and demystifying the idea that you are "hard to shop for." Don't forget to think about yourself for once - after all, if you don't know what you want, how is anyone else supposed to figure it out?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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48:30

Talking To The Turkey And Crying

Childproof ·

2024/11/27

It’s always parenting on hard mode when you’re parenting anywhere else but home territory. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their ultimate Thanksgiving food rankings for both eating and cooking, and Gwenna vents about the nightmare of holiday house hopping. Then, they share some helpful tips for ways that child-free people hosting Thanksgiving can prepare their house for young kids (consider the forbidden spaghetti and cover your sockets), and tips for parents who are worried about how their kids

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52:14

In the Eye Of The Hurricane, We Regulate

Childproof ·

2024/11/20

Your best is still your best when you don't have as much to give. This week, Gwenna and Tori talk all about emotions, what to do with them, and how to feel your feelings without making them everyone else's problem. They get into their coping mechanisms, how to teach your kids about processing their emotions, and the ways we co-regulate with other adults both IRL and online. Whether your head hurts or your heart hurts, you deserve to feel better. Email us at childproof@betches.com to let us know how

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50:16

You Win, But I Get To Be Right Next Time

Childproof ·

2024/11/13

Good parents never stop thinking they’re doing a bad job; bad parents never stop to wonder if they’re doing a good one. This week, Gwenna and Tori turn to the Childproof inbox to read your emails, and share some thoughts of their own. Much to Gwenna's dismay, it turns out Surge *did* have a short-lived revival. And much to Tori's dismay, the debate about what part of NY is actually Upstate appears to be never-ending. They cover everything from the very relatable fear of messing up your kids, to an

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53:35

Show Me Where Floppy Is On The Feelings Wheel

Childproof ·

2024/11/06

Just because you've never *seen* a tiger robot stuffy, that doesn't meant it doesn't exist. This week, Gwenna and Tori are here to help distract you from the news cycle with a mini games episode. They share their latest cute kid-isms ("My leg brains forgot"), pet updates, thoughts on all the most nostalgic foods from their own childhood (do Lunchables actually taste worse now or have our tastebuds changed?), and a few rounds of Would You Rather. To close out the episode, they try their best to stump

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54:34

The Google Rabbit Holes Of Parenting

Childproof ·

2024/10/30

Have you ever found yourself googling "Why is my child saying gyatt?" into the wee hours of the morning? This week, Gwenna and Tori turn to Google Auto Complete for the internet's most burning parenting questions, and share their insights. They tackle everything from "Why do kids walk on their toes?" and "When should kids learn to read?" to "When should parents have The Talk?" and what to do if "My kid keeps getting bit at daycare." They unpack the joys of kids finding their own way to vampire

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53:09

We Are Not The Only People Here

Childproof ·

2024/10/23

If your child has ever screamed in a library, had a melt down in the freezer aisle, or if you've ever felt like apologizing for having kids (you don't!), then this episode is for you. In this episode of Childproof, Tori and Gwenna discuss the unpredictable nature of parenting, particularly in public settings. Together they chat about focusing on teaching children safety, social skills, and empathy while setting expectations. They dive into the challenges parents face when navigating public

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53:36

The Parental Paradox

Childproof ·

2024/10/16

Why does it seem like reverse psychology only works when you don't want it to!? In this episode, Tori and Gwenna explore the humorous and often frustrating paradoxes of parenting. They discuss the conundrum of finding clothes that actually fit children, how illnesses always seems to strike before vacation, and the flabbergasting peculiarities of children's memories. Tori and Gwenna explore the complexities of their children's development, the significance of creating safe spaces for sharing, and the

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49:50

Our Kids Are Not Our Hobbies

Childproof ·

2024/10/09

If you're a hobby collector, this episode is for you. Gwenna and Tori discuss their many extracurricular pastimes, past and present (RIP Tori's miniature building), and why occupying your hands can be the key to quieting your mind. They catch each other up on their kids' hobbies, how to figure out if their latest fixation is a true passion or just a phase, and what to do when your kid gets really into something you never cared about before. Then, they cover the ways parents can avoid the pitfall of

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53:25

The Take-Home Folder Of Doom

Childproof ·

2024/10/02

Teachers are a vital part of our village, and they are on our side. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori unpack all things back to school, from field trips, to pockets full of rocks, and bafflingly disorganized folders. They tackle the question that every parent faces when it comes to their kids’ projects: keep or throw away? And is your kid’s head just itchy, or it is another lice outbreak? All we know for sure, is that a tiny dinosaur is a very tiny problem.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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54:36

We’re All In This Mail Bag Together

Childproof ·

2024/09/25

It’s time for another mail bag! Gwenna and Tori dive right into the Childproof inbox to see what’s been on the listeners’ minds, and share some stories of their own. They cover everything from embarrassing your kids, to learning to give yourself grace when you lose your cool, and memories of getting lost in the supermarket. Then, in a segment sponsored by Splash Refresher, they share some of their self-care essentials. And finally, they close out the episode with some listener reviews. Learn more

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55:58

Breakfast Candy And Sprinkle Sandwiches

Childproof ·

2024/09/18

Sometimes, bribery is the solution to the problems you create for yourself. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori compare notes on some of the weird things they’ve done and said for their kids, from emotional support rats, to Hamilton hyper-fixations, and explaining how libraries work. Gwenna discovers that breakfast candy can rewire years of sleep habits, Tori explains a hack for making sandwiches more palatable for their kid, and they go over their Halloween essentials in a special segment sponsored by

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58:18

A Very, Merry, Unbirthday Bash

Childproof ·

2024/09/11

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate birthdays. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna share their reasons for not hosting parties, the challenges of planning and organizing kids parties, and the importance of accessibility and inclusivity. They also talk about their own birthday traditions and celebrations, including decorations and treats. They share tips and advice on topics such as opening presents at the party, handling rowdy behavior, sending invitations, dealing with cake mishaps,

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52:06

Hard Conversations Are Worth Having

Childproof ·

2024/09/04

If a child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to deserve an answer. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori discuss the importance of having hard conversations with kids about topics like death, divorce, and illness. They also highlight the need to take time to think before responding to difficult questions and to approach these conversations in a developmentally appropriate way. They share personal experiences of navigating difficult conversations, such as the death of a pet and a family

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55:58

My Closet Of Requirement

Childproof ·

2024/08/28

Routines, habits, schedules, and systems are different but interconnected. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna share personal examples of how they have implemented systems in their own lives, such as organizing art supplies and keeping track of iPads. They also discuss the importance of buy-in from children and how to get them involved in the system-building process. Together they discuss the need to adapt and modify systems as children grow and circumstances change.Learn more about your ad choices

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51:38

Goblins Go To The Zoo

Childproof ·

2024/08/21

Did you think you were going to be packing bento boxes or going on every field trip, but then never did? That’s ok, us too. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna discuss their expectations of parenthood versus the reality. They explore how our expectations can be way different than the realities of parenting, focusing on various aspects such as teaching kids to drive, cooking creative meals, taking family photos, managing screen time, and participating in sports activities. Together, they highlight how

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44:45

Ear Candy for the Soul Ft. Tim Kubart

Childproof ·

2024/08/14

Kids music parents will actually like?! This week, Tori and Gwenna are joined by Tim Kubart, a Grammy Award winning children’s musician, to share his journey into the world of children's music and his approach to creating engaging and meaningful songs for kids. Together they discuss the importance of finding a balance between not talking down to kids and not talking over their heads, while making music that is accessible and enjoyable for parents, too! Tim delves into the importance of honesty and

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