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PODCAST

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage, America"s only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

49:19

Savage Love Episode 918

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/05/28

Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom

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52:31

Savage Love Episode 917

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/05/21

A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was this,

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17:22

Sex & Politics #30 Micro Version

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/05/16

For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond

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50:56

Savage Lovecast Episode 916

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/05/14

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair? A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex

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52:57

Savage Lovecast Episode 915

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/05/07

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our

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51:52

Savage Lovecast Episode 914

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/30

A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his

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50:40

Savage Lovecast Episode 913

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/23

A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock

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23:58

Sex & Politics #29: Micro version

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/20

For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.

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52:17

Savage Lovecast Episode 912

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/16

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady

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50:18

Savage Lovecast Episode 911

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/09

A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there? A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments? On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so

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49:21

Savage Lovecast Episode 910

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/04/02

A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm? Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down? On

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20:40

Sex & Politics #28: Micro Version

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/03/28

For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Rob Henderson, author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." Rob's heart-breaking memoir goes into his wrenching childhood, and also his concept of "luxury beliefs," - sanctimonious ideas that the upper classes advocate for, but usually don't follow themselves, and ultimately hurt the poor and working class. Henderson includes non-monogamy as a luxury belief, and as you can imagine, Dan ain't havin' it. This is a 20

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50:22

Savage Lovecast Episode 909

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/03/26

So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?" An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get out of

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53:29

Savage Lovecast Episode 908

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/03/19

You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH.A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this? Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called "What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them to

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47:47

Savage Lovecast Episode 907

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/03/12

"Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts? Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover? On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that can

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44:58

Savage Lovecast Episode 906

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/03/05

A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention?A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author of

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56:23

Savage Lovecast Episode 905

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/02/27

A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out?A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he says

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54:29

Savage Lovecast Episode 904

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/02/20

Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes? And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how? Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous long

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59:07

Savage Lovecast Episode 903

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/02/13

A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches. We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed. A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight dude.)

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54:50

Savage Lovecast Episode 902

Savage Lovecast ·

2024/02/06

We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the

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