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PODCAST

The Captain"s Log

The Captain’s Log is a podcast from The Whatnauts where we can talk about all the pop culture news that has caught our attention, share stories from our lives, and get into all kinds of shenanigans. We play games, talk about the movies and TV shows we are watching, and have a great time just hanging out.

tv & film

All Episodes

76:17

I Fell Into a Vat at Six Flags

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/04/01

Episode 229. Kyle laments the missed opportunity of Mecha March and the lie that is Luigi's Pizza. Melissa introduces us to lost movies Big Bug Man and Freaky Flickers, and the defunct as-seen-on-TV Hawaii Chair. We ask if liquid trees missed the point of real trees, what Betty Ross could be doing in the upcoming Captain America: New World Order, if Darkman stole from Clayface, if Clippy would make a good husband, and if you would recognize if your parents were replaced with visual

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71:43

Let the Barbarian into Your Life

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/03/25

Episode 228. Melissa explains the Willem Defoe crime/survival thriller Inside and why it's so helpful for the audience to see him poop in a bathtub. Kyle reveals his secret infinite beach. We remember the late actor Lance Reddick, a gem in everything from Lost to John Wick. We also discuss the upcoming Power Rangers reunion movie Once & Always, the old lemon scent of Shazam: Fury of the Gods, bringing an entire baguette into the cinema to eat slowly over two hours, and how more movies

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55:45

The California Drive-Around

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/03/19

Episode 227. Melissa attempts to quantify a very specific film sub-genre, the California Drive-Around, and its cousin the New York Walk-Around. Kyle is shocked when a modern-day French crime drama suddenly flashes back to Ancient Rome. We recap the Oscars, look at some superhero movies news, and discuss crows that can solve murders BECAUSE THEY ARE A MURDER, THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A GROUP OF CROWS, and convincing somebody that a pog is a collectable state quarter.00:00 - Start 00:04 - Is

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68:19

The Wettest Award

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/03/11

Episode 226. Kyle is haunted by an extremely loud home appliance. Melissa eats a new kind of Reese's Cup live on air. We imagine new categories for the Oscars, such as Best Title Sequence, Best Adapted Performance, Best Animal, and Best Kiss (MTV Movie Awards have had a monopoly on this for too long!!!). Melissa ranks all the 2023 best picture nominees on a scale from Wet to Dry. Kyle tries learning Korean through Duolingo. We argue whether "Plane" is the best or worst movie title.00:00:00

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63:30

Perry Mason, The Lie

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/03/04

Episode 225. Did you know that TV detective Perry Mason is based on a real person? He isn't! But doesn't that seem plausible? You could convince somebody of that, right? We also discuss the incredibly detailed Lost Encyclopedia and other informational treasures from DK Publishing, rewatching Yellowjackets, rowdy popcorn boys, and movies we saw in the theaters with our friends when we were teenagers just because there wasn't anything better playing. We also try to describe Cocaine Bear as a

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65:34

When the Dirt Comes to Your Town

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/02/25

Episode 224. This week: MONSTER TRUCKS! We read the name of every MONSTER TRUCK competing in MONSTER JAM. We also describe Quantumania as if it was a scented candle and discuss educating ourselves in film history, theming our meals to movies, our dream team of the creators of Dark adapting Something is Killing the Children, and Ton E. Cheese's Pizza and Avenging Parlour.00:00:00 - Start 00:00:04 - Welcome and banter 00:03:20 - Kyle's Monster Jam experience 00:26:38 - Housekeeping 00:32:16 -

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63:29

Adult Business Son

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/02/19

Episode 223. Melissa reads every cheesecake flavor at the Cheesecake Factory, our most manic restaurant. We discuss international remakes of famous TV shows, localizing Napoleon Dynamite for every weird small town in the world, and the big trailers coming out of the Super Bowl, and we react to the trailer for Tetris, an upcoming Apple TV+ movie about the beloved Gameboy game. Plus, Sad Canada Week and the latest Hanks Banger.00:00:00 - Start 00:00:04 - Welcome and banter 00:01:57 -

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64:49

Rookie Senior

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/02/11

Episode 222. This is our understanding of football: no one is going to catch on fire while they play it. Kyle brings us new comic book adaptations coming to Prime and recaps some DC comics both approachable and impenetrable for new readers. Melissa tries to accurately but vaguely explain Knock at the Cabin and watches all the Scream movies to see people running around big houses. We also imagine a detective buddy movie where the grizzled one is young and the innocent one is old,

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63:36

You Wouldn’t Download a Swamp

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/02/04

Episode 221. We've got mega DC news this week! We discuss the slate of newly announced shows and movies for the "Gods and Monsters" chapter of the DCU, featuring political intrigue, dark mystery, imposter syndrome, a Superman and Batman power couple, an insolent young son, and Frankenstein. We also discuss modern egg creams and how we need more Muppets recapping famous movies for us.The Whatnauts Captain’s Log is a weekly podcast where we talk about some of the latest pop culture news,

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64:30

A Gold Statue for the Robot Man

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/01/30

Episode 220. We're brainstorming ideas to "gamify" our other podcast The Review Show, by introducing Who Wants To Be a Millionaire lifelines and Yu-Gi-Oh trap cards. We try to pitch each other on the K-drama Vagabond and the sci-fi thriller Sunshine. Melissa reads through the Oscar nominations, an exciting mix of artsy oddities and familiar blockbusters, honoring the hard work of a penguin, a robot dad, and two of the Eternals.00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:04 - This week we have been watching the

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70:52

Shrek Mailbox

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/01/21

Episode 219. We're planning out special event Captain's Log episodes for later this year, such as a Pocky taste test and a fantasy draft of our five new dads. Kyle brings us tales of mystery, such as a lost Grubhub delivery and a shocking Formula 1 wife. Melissa attempts to explain Skinamarink and asks what is the least "movie" movie you've ever seen?00:00:00 - Start 00:00:04 - Getting the date right and Emotes 00:04:51 - Planarama 2023 00:29:25 - Housekeeping 00:34:13 - Kyle's Trio of (Not

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78:04

The Newest Constellation

The Captain"s Log ·

2023/01/14

Episode 218. Welcome to 2023 at the Captain's Log, where we try to remember Toad the Wet Sprocket songs and read a long list of Battlebot names. Kyle has gone to the Van Gogh experience and Melissa remembers the last time she lay on the floor in a public building. We review the media we encountered in 2022, with Kyle's statistics on number of butt hours spent watching TV, and Melissa's ranking of her favorite new and old movies she watched last year.00:00:00 - Start 00:00:04 - Going small

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192:24

7 Year Anniversary Retrospective

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/12/19

Kyle and Melissa and a surprise appearance by Ignacio are here for our annual year-end celebration! We discuss Avatar: The Way of Water, the antics at the Game Awards, very specific adult coloring books, the trailers for Oppenheimer and Barbie, our favorite podcast episodes this past year, what performed well and what we had the most fun recording, and all the benefits that Fringe brought into our lives.00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:02 - Welcome and banter 00:05:26 - John Wick 3 and Avatar: The

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86:18

The Cool Step Scene

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/12/17

Episode 217. It's our final Captain's Log of the year! We share Log memories and some of our favorite media from the year, what we're watching now, and what we want to finish watching before the year is over. Kyle is dazzled by Arcane, Melissa is emotional over a feature-length YouTube video on the history of the Disney Channel theme tune. We revisit our list of story tropes for our Review Show bingo sheets, adding new ones for the new year, and debating which ones to remove, and if we need

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117:39

Rotten Tomatoes Movie Predictions 2023

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/12/10

Episode 216. It's the most tomato time of year! We continue our annual tradition of guessing the Rotten Tomatoes critics scores and making other wild predictions for upcoming movies from December 2022 through November 2023, and reveal the scores for this past year's movies. Just how low was the score for Morbius? Do we think The Super Mario Bros. Movie will do better than Sonic 2? What's the twist in Knock at the Cabin? Will other movies besides Barbie feature the song "Barbie Girl"? What

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68:26

The Gonch

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/12/05

Episode 215. We're back from our Thanksgiving break to recap what we've been watching: the Korean zombie drama Kingdom, the coming-of-age movie about movies The Fabelmans, the riotous mystery Glass Onion, and the classic crime story Goncharov. Kyle also updates us on new social media platforms where you can find The Whatnauts to tell us the anime character names that your parents always get wrong. We review a current holiday-flavored Mtn Dew and preview the flavor for next year, and record

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78:36

Jim the Wonder Dog

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/11/19

Episode 214. This week we explore weirdly specific symbols of our states, which starts at Missouri's psychic dog and leads to Oklahoma's official insistence that a watermelon is a vegetable. We also discuss the longest house, million dollar grapes, and the results of Melissa ordering ten random Beanie Babies live on air last week. Finally, now that we've seen Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, we look back on Phase 4 of the MCU. We share our favorite shows, movies, and post-credit scenes,

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71:41

The Beanie Meanie

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/11/12

Episode 213. We're looking for a soda sommelier in the central timezone! Kyle watched the supernatural K-drama Uncanny Counter, Melissa watched the documentary Beanie Mania about the rise and fall of Beanie Babies, and we ask whether we were "animal kids" growing up. We talk about Formula One and trying to get into sports to have something to fill our time when there isn't an exciting new movie coming out.00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:04 - Red Ribbon Cola and Soda sommeliers 00:05:23 - A busy week

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71:27

Proud Neighbor of a Kevin McAllister

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/11/05

Episode 212. We have updates on Melissa's fantasy monster draft, and the mystery flavor of Mtn Dew Voodew for this year. We talk about movies that would be terrifying to witness as an unknowing bystander, what Winnie the Pooh could possibly bring to the table in a business partnership with the much more competent Paddington, if the sun baby is the true mastermind behind the Teletubbies, and how Casper still totally holds up. We also talk about some of our favorite movies of 2022, and what

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72:11

McRib Sterling IV: The Order of the Franks

The Captain"s Log ·

2022/10/29

Episode 211. Your ghost hosts Pizza Lord and The Resurrected Spirit of a 90s Taco Bell are back for the fourth year of retelling past Captain's Log anecdotes as spooky Halloween stories! Grab an ice cold Coke with the logo facing towards the camera, and listen to our tales of hook hands, cursed Mtn Dew flavors, gooey people, too many dead neighbors, too many hot dogs, eating your own pot pie child, and fighting a dog in Wolf Trap, Virginia.00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:04 - Welcome and banter

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