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PODCAST

Green Cows Don"t Fly

Writers B. and Jon are co-hosts of Green Cows Don"t Fly. Once upon a time they enlisted the help of A I to write two fantasy quest novels which are now available on Amazon here https://amzn.to/3MIZKoh But now in their new ground-breaking extravaganza: The None Show, they meet every week in the Green Room Café to talk about everything and anything and are always looking for suggestions for topics. So if you"d like to get involved in the general mayhem and madness then please do contact the show at:

comedy

All Episodes

22:15

The None Show Ep. 48 - Adios Amigos

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/02/16

Well after a year of None Shows B. & Jon are going on hiatus. Time is precious and they need to devote nearly all of it to getting their comedy crime caper book, Chop, launched. But it won't be the end of Green Cows. They'll be back with a completely new show later in the year. So dry your eyes and enjoy the final eclectic mix of: Odd items appearing unexpectedly in parcels, Spectral Cats, Insurance fury, Hangman & Battleships. . B is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and

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22:49

The None Show Ep. 47 - Ailments, Post Office Queues...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/02/09

Just when you think things can't get any more diverse, the None Show delivers another mixed bag of randomness. Torn meniscuses, Pensioners, Post Office queues, incompetent DIY, tin baths, tadpoles and frogs. The most manic twenty minutes you'll hear on the Net this week. So get the kettle on, raid the biscuit barrel and prepare to be baffled for the penultimate time... as once more B.& Jon hold forth at the Green Room Cafe.. B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover

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22:41

The None Show Ep. 46 - Internet Distractions &...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/02/02

With B back from the Alps the Green Cows are back in the podcast studio, ready to tackle their usual eclectic mix of topics. So in no particular order we have: skiing, ice slides, video games, internet distractions, cryptic crosswords, and best of all - a behind the scenes insight of Jon's shonky production methods..B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as

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23:42

The None Show Ep. 45 - Cats In The Coffee Dregs

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/01/19

Strange happenings this week, with spooky stuff aplenty. Cats keep appearing in B's coffee dregs and a sinister wraith-like alien shows up in the butter of Jon's granary bread, But that's not all because smoking, vaping, volcanoes and dodgy publishers all get dishonourable mentions too. It's another cracker and you be foolish not to listen. B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning

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24:20

The None Show Ep. 44 - Packing For Armageddon

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/01/12

If Armageddon were imminent, what would you pack in an emergency bag? Needless to say, Jon & B's priorities differ. One of them is more practical than the other. Can you guess who it is? And what if Bono sang Opera and not Rock? Would he need a hanky for mopping his brow between songs? These and many others are the issues occupying the Green Cows this week. You'd be mad not to listen.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs

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20:36

The None Show - Happy Moo Year 2024

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2024/01/05

It's 2024 but that won't stop them. In this week's special New Year edition, hear how B. & Jon spent the Festive Season. Jon, by contracting Covid and B. by entertaining neighbours with a sumptuous Raclette from her native Switzerland. Of course there is the usual quota of random rambling, with insurance, dieting, horseradish and resolutions coming under the spotlight. All in all, quite perfect show to blow away those January Blues.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and

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21:47

The None Show - Christmas Special 2023

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/12/22

As you might expect from the award-winning duo, it's a real festive treat dealing with all things Christmas. Jingle Bells to the Roman Vomitorium and Catalonian defecating logs to bread sauce, it's got the lot. For example: did you know the traditional Japanese Christmas Dinner is now a KFC? B.& Jon read it on the Internet so needless to say, it must be true.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you

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21:52

The None Show Ep. 43 - Emergency Nibbles & B's Barbie...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/12/15

You know what it's like? Friends pop in to build your Bistro Set and the next thing know is you're three sheets to the wind on Elvis Juice & Prosecco. Naturally, you all get peckish so what then? Duh! Raid the freezer and produce a platter of emergency nibbles to save the day. And who would've thought as a little girl, B built a stable for her Barbie Horses complete with a tack room and a mucking out area? Just goes to show...B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover

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22:57

The None Show Ep. 42 - The Bistro Set - Part 2

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/12/08

An innocent question from B asking if Jon's new Bistro Set has been assembled sees him give something of a long answer. So, is it or isn't it? There's only one way you're gonna find out. Other topics include: dodgy art, an orchestra conducting cat, food past its sell-by date and and thoughts on salad cream versus mayonnaise.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin

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23:36

The None Show Ep. 41 - The Bistro Set

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/12/01

The None Show Ep. 41 The Bistro SetJon's bought a Bistro Set. Looked nice in the photo but it arrived in a very flat box. Jon's crap at DIY. Oh dear. Meanwhile, B recounts her time when she visited a tacky toilet in Turkey boasting fancy disco lights and a smoke machine... well she thinks it was a smoke machine.... but then again, Turkish food can be quite spicy. Add in glass walkways, infinity pools and the quantity of all gold ever mined, then it's another jaw-dropping episode. How do they do it

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19:26

The None Show Ep. 40 - It's Only Rap 'n' Rolll

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/11/24

It's only Rap 'n' Roll but B. & Jon don't like it. This week's episode sees Rave DJs claiming to be musicians come in for some stick. And in something of a grump fest, so too do personalised car registrations. Add to that another installment of the potentially award-winning "Gets my Goat", lock-up garages and words that are irritatingly shortened, then surely this has to be the most eclectic podcase out there.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as

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22:51

The None Show - Ep 39 - Pop Shields To Pranks - Super...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/11/17

B. and Jon cover so much ground this time it's truly breathtaking. From pop shields to sneaky pranks (thankfully before social media for Jon's sake) lonely sheep to superheroes and time travel, it's all here and once again compressed into twenty minutes of pure distilled drivel. Go on, click play. You know you'd love to.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T

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23:14

The None Show Ep. 38 - Bitcoin, Bigfoot & Backwards...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/11/10

In today's alliteratively titled show it's harder to imagine three more diverse subjects. Yet such is the mindset of B & Jon that no subject is off the table when they start gabbing. Add in items on the pound-dollar-cryptocurrency exchange rate, the Loch Ness Monster and extraterrestrials visiting dancing hippies in the Nevada desert, then it just might blow your mind, Daddio.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really,

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23:25

The None Show Ep. 37 - Halloween Special

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/11/03

This week's Halloween Special is all you might expect from B. & Jon. Trick or Treat, Carol Singing, ChatGPT, Cats in Babygros, Tax Avoidance Schemes, Swiss Bank Accounts and much much more. It all that doesn't scare you then mothing will. Wooooooooooooooo!B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any acting jobs really, especially if you have an Oscar winning script and Quentin T as the director. Contact her here: gcdontfly@gmail.com If you'd

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20:19

The None Show Ep. 36 - Tantrums In The Tearoom

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/10/27

B & Jon lament how ordering a good old British toasted teacake and butter has now become more an exercise in foraging and survival rather than one of life's simple pleasures. Trying to spread yellow rock-hard ice pats on a rapidly cooling teacake is all but impossible, frequently leading to tantrums in our tea rooms. And why are the Kings & Queens of YouTube (Cats) so nonchalant and aloof? Add in self-conscious dancing and it's another show you won't want to miss.B. is available for

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21:19

The None Show Ep. 35 - Where's The Best Place To Buy...

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/10/20

Plumbing new depths in disorganisation, and without any rehearsal or planning, B.& Jon introduce two new regular features to the show. A weekly comment section called: What gets Your Goat? And as if that weren't enough excitement, there's a new occasional big gameshow: Timeslip Cash Stash. The winning contestant can gamble on the relative value of their jackpot prize based in two different centuries. It's only a matter of time before a major broadcaster snaps it up. So remember where you heard

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22:50

The None Show Ep. 34 - AI and Other Nonsense

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/10/13

Marinating their customary distance several miles behind the curve and zeitgeist, this week B & Jon lift the lid on AI. What is it? Who is it? Can it write the next big blockbuster? It can certainly tell you how to book an airline ticket, but it's not so intelligent as to be able to offer a plausible reason why B's foot is turning black. And to think this is all offered to the listener for free. Surely they, B & Jon that is, must be crazy.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting

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23:57

The None Show Ep. 33 - Does The Pope Have A Balcony?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/10/06

It's a question that divides opinion and one B & Jon think they've nailed. And when they weren't giving it their full attention they also pondered another: When is it too late / early to have a drink? Add in superglue that goes missing and unattended airport luggage carousels with one solitary busted and unclaimed case spinning around... then that's one helluva lot to cover in just 23 minutes,.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as presenting; any

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21:25

The None Show Ep. 32 - Footling Around

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/09/29

Imagine browsing around a junk shop.. This week B.& Jon bring you the podcasting equivalent. It's all there. What items will you pick up, turn over then haggle about the price with the owner? Snails to guineapigs to goldfish, the King of Rock 'n' Roll dying his hair with boot polish, and the whole thing rounded off by a deep dive into Facebook's Terrible Art in Charity Shops. It's audio bric-a-brac par excellence..B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well

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23:10

The None Show Ep. 31 Heads or Tails?

Green Cows Don"t Fly ·

2023/09/22

In this week's stream of consciousness and off the cuff blether, B. & Jon toss a coin to see who will start the show. It's not actually a coin but that doesn't really matter. Would you like to be named after the place you were conceived? Discount supermarkets: tuna slush & massive catering packets of tea bags. All of this and amulets and talismans too (should that be talismen?). Anyway, miss it and miss out.B. is available for audiobook narration, voice acting and voiceover work.as well as

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116 results

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