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PODCAST

Functional Chaos Podcast

Dev, Jade, and Kali

Just 3 unhinged goofballs doing the best we can to host a podcast! Life is way too unforgiving to be so judgmental and serious. We want to create an atmosphere like, girls night in! A space to talk about things that matter, while also bullsh*tting about thing that don’t!

comedy

All Episodes

00:51:21

Ep. 88 I’m A Big Mess & I Cannot Lie | SISTER SIGNS...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/08/25

Welcome to another chaotic episode! This was recorded a month and a half ago… We are again sorry this has reached you so late, but we hope you can forgive us with being here now.Life be f**king us hard y’all, we can’t even fully express all the turmoil that has been thrown at us. We love our podcast, and bringing new episodes to escape into and girl talk with a couple goofy dumbasses!This episode we talk about all the sister signs and how they help and repel each other. How every sister sign can

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00:59:45

Ep. 87 Who The Hell Is You? | ASTROLOGY HOUSES (Part...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/08/04

Wow!! It’s been a little minute since we posted a video. Fun fact, 2 days after this episode was recorded, Kali’s sweet grandma passed away and there have been a lot of stuff happening in life. So we needed to take a couple months off. BUT!! We are back!This episode we finish up the Houses of astrology! Houses 7-12! We also give insist to what that means for our specific chart and how you can find out your own houses, signs, and planetary alignments✨.We hope you enjoy this episode, and come back for

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01:01:51

Ep. 86 Chaos Swiss Cheese Pudding Brain | ASTROLOGY...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/05/12

Full Disclosure, we tried our very best y’all🙈😅! But if you didn’t want chaos, why are you here?😂🤭Truly one of the most complicating things we ever attempted to learn happened on a day where Kali’s chronic illness brain would not allow her to be a person. So I’m sure you can guess how this might have gone as we dive into part one (1-6) of the houses of astrology and what they each mean.Honestly we still have lots of questions but a great resource is the Co-Star app, (not sponsored✨) which can

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01:10:16

Ep. 85 We Get Hangrier As Time Goes On | PLANETARY...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/04/28

Over the weeks of us talking about all the signs in the zodiac, it’s time we dive a little deeper and find out how each of the planets in our solar system says about you. Dev is also going to be discussing what the “big three” means (i.e. sun, moon, & rising) and why it’s important to know where and when you were born to get an accurate reading on your full natal chart. We are learning along the way with you so please, as always, bare with us as we navigate the chaos.We would love to know your

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00:50:29

Ep. 84 Aries Got A Big Mouth | ZODIAC GUESS WHO?! S4E6

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/04/14

After 5 episodes of seriousness, or as serious as we are capable of presenting, it’s time to play a little game!Dev and Kali come up with silly little questions and the other person has to answer which zodiac sign the question is asking about. And as a reminder, this is a fun silly little podcast of chaos, so not all question will fit all signs. We love all our listeners and want to hear form you! We have a google forum for your stories, questions, and feedback! Be sure to share and like cause it

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01:13:17

Ep. 83 It’s Like Listening To A Mirror | ZODIAC...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/03/31

The second part of describing personalities of the zodiac here for you!LIbra, Sagittarius, Aries, Taurus, Virgo, and Cancer you’re up! This has been a very fun project for us and we hope you have been enjoying it as well.We want to hear what you think of these descriptions and how much they speak truth so be sure to comment below! And if you want to see the full description about you zodiac personality it’s below in the link✨!See You Next Episode Besties🩷🩵💚Personality Traits:

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01:09:05

Ep. 82 A Jellyfish Came Out of Me | ZODIAC...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/03/17

WooHoo we’re here for another round of the zodiac!Now it’s time to find out the personality traits of each sign in astrology! We wanna know what you all are like according to your sun sign. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean everything will align with you because everyone’s chart runs so much deeper than we are diving. We just scratch the surface!This episode we find out the personality traits of Pisces, Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, & Capricorn! We will be covering the remaining 6 signs in the

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01:13:06

Ep. 81 Donate Your Bloody Tampons | 2025 YEARLY...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/03/03

Happy New Episode Besties!Last round of 2025 predictions for the zodiac signs. So if you didn’t hear your prediction last episode, then you will be happy to know it’s all about you this episode!Jade was unable to grace us today because she had to hustle her bustle! We wish her all the stability so she can join us again! SO it is just Kali and Dev giving the last 6 signs and what is to be expected this 2025 year!Please Share, Like, & Follow it helps tremendously and we know that not everyone can

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00:52:15

Ep. 80 Cross Your Fingers, Toes, & Vaginas | 2025...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/02/03

Good Chaotic Monday Babes✨As promised, this episode is the first part of the 2025 year predictions of the zodiac🖤. So that we don’t have a 2 hour long episode we decided to split them in 6 signs in two separate episodes. If you don’t hear your zodiac sign on this episode, be sure to check back in for part two!✨ We start these predictions with the 3 signs of our hosts (Aries, Capricorn, & Taurus) and the 3 sister signs of those (Libra, Cancer, & Scorpio). We want to encourage everyone to

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01:01:46

Ep. 79 The World Is My Oysher | ASTROLOGY (2024...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2025/01/20

Hello and Welcome Back Chaotic Babes!After our holiday break we got our incredible host, Jade, back for our newest season of chaos, human things, and cringe, at times. Cause how could you expect anything less! Sticking with our alphabetical topic cycle, we’re doing a full big topic per season! For example, this season is about all things Astrology! We talk about it but we definitely couldn’t pass a test about it to save our lives. So, this is our attempt to learn and you get to watch us struggle at

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01:30:10

Ep. 78 Scrapping Nip Rings | ZOOs

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/11/04

Hello Chaotic Babes!The last episode of season 3 is here and we bring you an hour of weird, hilarious, and wikipedia informative. The last episode of this season ends with the last letter in our alphabetical wild show, letter Z! It took us way too much brain power to come up with a Z topic, but we finally landed on Zoos!! Zoos have been a huge topic of conversation lately, with climate change and human intrusion suffocating a lot of wildlife, on top of the two newly born babies that have taken

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01:12:58

Ep. 77 That’s All Wet | YOUTH SLANG

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/10/28

We missed you Chaotic Babes! 2-weeks of being hit with illness and symptom flares, is not recommended!But here we are again with a new episode of weird, wild, and wacky! As we get to the end of the season and alphabet, the topics tend to get a bit strange and might be descfribed as “a bit of a stretch”. BUT! It’s our show and we don’t know how to do anything normally! So here we are✨. This week Kali has her individual topic, brought to you by the letter, Y! She decides to play a little game of

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01:40:07

Ep. 76 Munching On Polly Pocket | eXCUSES

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/10/07

**Trigger Warning** this episode has a moment of talking about suicide and we always encourage our listeners to prioritize yourself first. The moment is between the time 50:50 to 55:10. Please skip if you need to🖤. Happy Chaotic Monday Besties✨! This week’s episode is brought to you by the letter X for our group topic! Now obviously excuses doesn’t start with an X, but damn this is a hard letter and so we are using it as an excuse to use words that sound like they start with X! Does that make any

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01:06:23

Ep. 75 Let’s Get Our Botulism/Botanism On | WEEDS

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/09/30

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, and Good Evening Chaotic Babes!!This all new episode of your favorite chaotic ladies. We discover at the beginning that Dev hates jokes with this weeks IceBreaker: What’s the best joke you know? We would love to hear yours in the comments! ✨ Ever been thinking with the lights off and wanted to know things about weeds? This week’s individual topic is brought to you by the letter W, and presented by the hilarious and fabulous Dev! If you’re new to the chaos, you will

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01:22:54

Ep. 74 We Know Nothing | VAMPIRES

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/09/23

What happens when two chaotic weirdos look up things about Vampires on wikipedia? This weeks episode of Functional Chaos!!🤭 It’s another chaotic week without our Jadey Bean, but Kali and Dev are still trying to bring you an hour of escapism of random, laughable weirdness! Episode 74 is brought to you by the letter, V, and the group topic is vampires!! Kali gives us a few true crime stories that are known for Vampire-ish things in one way of the other. There is a trigger warning that topics of

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00:48:09

Ep. 73 A Butt Period | UBER STORIES

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/09/16

Welcome back to a new week of chaos! BUT! We don’t have our Jadey Bean this week, cause she’s out at the beach for a little get away✨! While we miss the person that brings function to this chaotic silly ol’ time of a podcast! It is a bit of a shorter episode but that doesn’t take away from the stories in Kali’s individual topic. Brought to you by the letter, U; she tells us a bunch of Uber stories off of our favorite forum site, Reddit! Some are hilarious, some are horrifying, got some short and

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00:58:26

Ep. 72 I’m Covered In Crumbs | TRY ME!

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/09/02

We Missed You! Did You Miss Us Chaotic Babes?!🤭✨Life has been absolutely trying to show us who is boss lately causing us to have to take an unplanned 2 week break. But we are back this week with a whole new episode of your favorite brand of chaos! We have to put a huge WARNING for anyone with misophonia, because this episode has some great/horrible mouth sounds and we understand if this one is not your vibe! BUT, know that we are trying some great, weird, and international treats! First we try a

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01:25:08

Ep. 71 I’m A Bush Baby!! | SLUGS vs. SNAILS

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/08/12

The chaos continues but with everyone's favorite guest, Karl!! If you’ve missed the other episode’s with Kali’s little sister Karl, have no fear for this episode shall rid you of that deprivation🤭! On top of the news that Karl got a new cat, we spend about 10 minutes talking about the 2024 Olympics that were going on in Paris and gradually circle back to the olympics near the end, (warning that Kali definitely pronounces Ilona Maher’s name wrong and she is forever going to be embarrassed by

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01:34:25

Ep. 70 Post-Mortem Riggeties | RANDOM

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/07/29

We Back Chaotic Nerds!We are missing Jade this week because she is sitting on some animals all week🙃 so Kali and Dev are going to bring you your topic inspired by the letter, R. 😁Though there is no function to this chaos, they deliver on this ADHD brain relatable episode about just random shiz! It is a groups topic! While Kali brings us a combination of something that has her pissed, something hilarious, and a relatable story about her sister; Dev gives us a boiling pot of random things that

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00:51:59

Ep. 69 Jade Can’t Speak, Kali Is Delusional, & Dev...

Functional Chaos Podcast ·

2024/07/15

Happy Chaotic Monday Babes!🖤In casual Functional Chaos fashion we switch our studio location this week, cause Kali’s a/c broke and her room was the only room with the portable a/c in it. So here we are, apologies for the terrible lighting for those watching this weeks episode, her room needs a serious makeover🤭🙃🤷‍♀️. Aside from the visual, our audio was finally working (other than the first minute) this week so we deep dove into Jade’s individual topic this week, brought to you by the letter Q

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