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PODCAST

The Weekly Humorist Podcast

Weekly Humorist

The Satire Magazine. The Standard In American Immaturity. Welcome to the Weekly Humorist Podcast! Featuring audio articles from the pages of the Weekly Humorist. Curated picks from the editors you are sure to enjoy. Great for the illiterate and/or lazy fans! Tell your friends. Visit online at weeklyhumorist.com

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

0:44

The Next 10 Air Bud Movies

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/24

Air Bud Tennis: Game, Pet, Match Air Bud Golf: Chip & Mutt Air Bud Boxing: South-Paw Air Bud NASCAR: Need for Breed Air Bud Mixed Martial Arts: Ground-and-Hound Air Bud Spelling Bee: Consonants & Growls Air Bud Hide & Seek: You Can Run, But You Can't Raw-Hide Air Bud Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest: A Wiener is Crowned Air Bud Company Picnic: Pug-of-War Air Bud Frisbee: A Sport That Dogs Actually Play

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2:53

MAGAmmendments to the Ten Commandments

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/23

1st Commandment: Thou shall not have any other gods before me. And by me, I mean me, Trump. This God of yours had a good run, hell of a guy, but let's face it, he's been on his way out for awhile now. 1st Commandment addendum: Thou shall not make me into graven imaginary (not to include bitcoin, NFTs, fake bibles, limited edition coins and plates, hats, shot glasses, and more to be amended at a later date). 2nd Commandment: Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain, which is definitely a big one

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1:43

The Next Four Years Told Through Youtube Titles

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/22

ALL 200 Executive Orders EXPLAINED Kroger Grocery Haul After NEW Tariffs LIVE: Floating Orb Hovers Above Chicago Bean Alien Invasion or Elaborate Hoax? Zane & Maya Discuss While Cooking Chicken Alfredo Mel Gibson's Message to Orb: "Get The Hell Out!" | FOX NEWS What I Wished I Knew BEFORE I Learned The Orb Was a LIVING Person "It's Similar To Your Human Eyeball" - Orb On The Slimy Membrane That Coats His Body I Helped 1 Orb Gain U.S. Citizenship Doctors REACT to Orb's Gaseous Trail We Built The

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1:05

Brand New Sexual Bases For The Age Of OnlyFans

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/20

1st Base: Sniffing each other's skid marks. 2nd Base: Serenading an open wound. 3rd Base: Tea-bagging box set of Stargate: The Complete Series on blu ray. 4th Base: Warm coleslaw enema given by a guy cosplaying as Dean Koontz. 5th Base: Consensual glorfing. 6th Base: Ship In A Butthole (building a small replica of a 19th century schooner in one another's anal cavity). 7th Base: Making a snuff film with the Hamburger Helper mascot. 8th Base: Blowing down a Pirates Of The Caribbean Lego set with a

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6:24

Boeing's Quality Control Team Meets to Discuss Safety...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/20

BOB, Boeing's Chief Safety Officer, is seated at the head of a table in a conference room. He is surrounded by Boeing's Quality Control team, including LIZ, the Chief Safety Engineering Officer. BOB (looking at a clock that reads 1:30 PM): Thank you all for making this emergency standup first thing in the morning. I know everyone has a busy day of folding paper planes and setting them on fire, but we are at Code Red after another devastating crash. LIZ (stacking a house of cards): My God. How could

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4:05

A Letter to My Younger Self of a Few Weeks Ago About...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/15

Dear Younger Self of a Few Week Ago, I'd like to say I'm proud of you and that, like bourbon, you've been through an aging process and your refinement has made me mature and earthy, with peaty undertones. Instead, I need to say that being drunk on leftover Christmas bourbon eggnog is no excuse for signing me up to be a better you. When we went through the same charade last year, we agreed that in the future, the only New Year's resolution would be to make no resolutions. Yet you, once again, got

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1:59

In Space, No One Can Hear You Stream

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/11

In the year 2050, all of the tv shows that you will ever watch in your lifetime are uploaded into your mind at birth. Since you are a clone, the network systems know what shows will be most beneficial for you. Here's a sampling of what you might see. Not Freaky At All Friday When Vicki and her mother accidentally switch bodies, they both decide to accept their new identities and adopt the pronouns of Me and You. World War TMZ The fierce and bloody battle between various agents of paparazzi comes to

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3:25

I've Taken Temporary Custody of Liam Gallagher To...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/10

Despite what Liam Gallagher is yelling through a lightly locked door in this cabin in the woods, I did not kidnap him. I only borrowed Liam Gallagher temporarily. I'm simply keeping him away from his brother Noel Gallagher to ensure the Oasis tour happens. Their Gen X fans need this reunion. This may be the last year we can stay awake late enough to go. I'm trying to tell Liam Gallgher what I'm doing for him, for us. But he won't stop shouting. Maybe he is actually doing vocal exercises to prepare

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3:10

Driving Directions to My Place Way Out in the Sticks

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/08

I live somewhat in the boonies, so people sometimes get lost driving to my place. I'll try to keep it simple. Got a pencil and paper ready? Start by getting on Old Route 4. It's got another name on GPS, but GPS is worthless here because of the surrounding hillocks. You'll be on the road a good long while. If you pass the corn billboard, you've gone too far. Turn around and head back about 20 miles. When you come to a traffic circle, take the northwest exit perpendicular to the lake. This is

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4:51

Uber Rebrands to Enhance Customer Fee Experience

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/07

SAN FRANCISCO, January 7, 2025 /PRNewswire/ - Uber Technologies, Inc. (NYSE: UBER), the world's largest mobility and delivery technology platform, today announced its first rebranding since UberCab became Uber in October 2010. This strategic move reflects the company's commitment to technological innovation in an ever-changing digital landscape and signals a new era of possibilities. Uber will now be known as Uber Fees, Inc. (NYSE: BILK). The rebranding to Uber Fees symbolizes a new chapter,

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0:33

New Year's Resolutions From Parallel Earth Alpha Nova 7

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/05

Eat more scorpions. Hook up to metabo-chamber for at least seven cycles per ankh-coin. Continue worship of The Manor's blood moon delegation. Switch to baked from fried warlock discharge packets. Enlist offspring in clan-wide contest of mental and physical dexterity. Prepare for The Great Merging; check pantry for extra napkins and plastic cups in case of company.

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4:18

I'm a Popcorn Bowl NOT a Throw-Up Bowl

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/05

Hey, Greg. No, you're not hallucinating; it's me, your popcorn bowl. I know we don't normally do this, but I don't know how much time we have, so I'd appreciate it if you listen to what I have to say. Greg, I am a popcorn bowl. That means I hold popcorn, not throw up. Aw, here we go - do not get all defensive on me! I promise you're not the victim here. Look, I know you're not the only person who does this; honestly, it'd be so much easier if you were. I'd simply call Animal Control to sedate you

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7:44

The New Astrology: You Are A Combination of Two of...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2025/01/03

The five personality pillars are Clean-Cut, Alternative, Risky, Grunge, and Whimsy. Every person you've ever met is a combination of two, including you. Detailed descriptions of each pillar are below: Clean-Cut You have your shit together. This may be in the form of having a steady job, a tidy apartment, an Excel-sheet budget, or likely all three of these things. This pillar is often associated with the "Type A" personality*. You are particular about things, very organized, and, for lack of knowing

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0:25

Top Ten Top Ten Numbers of 2024

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/29

10. 2 9. 6 8. 1 7. 3 6. 10 5. 8 4. 9 3. 5 2. 7 1. 4

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4:12

Subscribe to "The Gospel According to Matthew" Substack

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/28

Like Noah building the Ark, I've been whittling away on a side project. I'm now thrilled to be able to share it. Following in the footsteps of my friends Mark, Luke, and John - I'm launching a Substack! To coincide with his birthday, my newsletter unpacks the story of Jesus. Some say he's a myth, several denounce him as a misfit, others declare he's the messiah, and more still ask "But what exactly is myrrh?" My ideal reader is you! Like the universalists, there will be something for everyone. Join

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1:31

Classic Album Titles Revised by a Guy Who Just Loves...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/27

AC/DC: Back in "the" Black Because This Album Sold So Many Copies, Great Job, Mates! Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon Must Be the Only Place Where They Didn't Get to Hear This Record Fall in Love With It! Michael Jackson: Bad? I Think You Mean Good, Mr. Jackson Fleetwood Mac: The Rumours Are True: This is a Terrific Album! Meat Loaf: Bat Out of Heaven, Actually Creedence Clearwater Revival: Cosmo's HIT Factory Eagles: Hotel California is a Place I'd Like to Check Into if The Music They Play

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0:43

Signs That Your Parents Are Trying To Kill You

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/27

You discover your dad practicing your eulogy. Your father's hiding place for his guns is the backpack you wear to school every day. Your math tutor is part of a work-release program. The only parental blocks on your computer are suicide prevention websites. Rather than the Cub Scouts, your parents have you join the Crips. Although they won't allow you to have a dog of your own, they do encourage you to stay out late and play with packs of strays. They get you a summer job as a drug mule. Your mom

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0:04

CARTOON: White Collar Crime

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/25

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4:31

Why Virgin Mary Is Opting For a Natural Barn Birth

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/22

Lately, a lot of the other moms in Bethlehem have been giving me grief for my birth plan: natural, no doctors, and in a shack surrounded by barnyard animals. Yeah, I'm a crunchy virgin mom. You got a problem with it? I wear sandals and it's not because I live in the desert. It's dinnertime? Yeah, I'm making it from scratch-not because that's the only option in 0.5 BC, but because I only eat whole, blessed foods and actually care about what's going into my temple. I make my clothes and wash them in

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2:01

Roasting On An Open Fire: Andrew "Ice" Sleigh Roasts...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/22

Hey, glad to see everyone! How's everybody doing tonight? I see Frosty was able to get out of rehab in order to be here. Could somebody check, I guarantee you that he's at least fifty percent frozen alcohol right now. A walking, talking pina colada - Please Frosty, just let the hat fall off and leave it at that. Jesus. And Rudolph, you red nosed bastard! I guess we're not supposed to mention that your nose is a different color than the rest of us though, eh? Sorry about that. Old habits, I guess

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65 results

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