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PODCAST

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide

Cas Roland, Jude Furlong

Welcome to the Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide! Join Jude and Cas, two amateur experts in cryptozoology, as they navigate bizarre tales of creepy creatures and things that go bump in the night. The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide is a great podcast for beginners who know nothing about cryptids and don"t want to learn anything particularly useful about them either! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

comedy comedy fiction

All Episodes

00:58:48

That's MY WIFE in Them There Woods

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/03/16

This Week: The Flatwoods Monster! We're finally talking about her! The massive, terrifying, smelly, lightbulb-shaped alien girl of your dreams! Today, we dive into the fascinating, terrifying, trendsetting case of the Flatwoods Monster, who not only stole our hearts but paved the way for a massive trend of aliens in the media with her signature look! Today's topics: Don't get out of your car in the woods; people don't know what bears are; the National Guard didn't prepare you for this; could you

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01:01:37

Bigfoots from A (to) Z

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/03/02

This Week: The Mogollon Monster! Finally, an absolutely unhinged bigfoot! Does your ideal man have matted grey hair, a handheld weapon, red eyes, and an unquenchable thirst for violence? Whether you're caught unawares on a school trip or running an ultramarathon in your 3D printed shoes, seeing such a powerful entity can be a little intimidated, but we promise, he'll find his way into your heart...or he'll murder you and steal your very expensive cabin in the woods. We can't really tell! Today's

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01:05:07

8th Grade Geometry Could Never

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/02/23

This Week: A Whole Bunch of Strangely-Shaped Aliens! Wow, these little guys look SO weird! Have you ever dreamed of being chased by amorphous blobs? Have you ever had the specific, irrational fear that a giant egg will kill you and steal your car? Have you ever seen some cube-headed idiots nearly run their UFO into an old lady's house? Well, today's your lucky day! Today we're diving into the Medford Shmoos, The Saybrook Blockheads, the Stinkblobs, The Pendelli Egg, AND the Domsten Blobs, and they

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01:01:02

Is That an Air Rod in Your Photograph, Or Are You...

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/02/09

This Week: Air Rods and Sky Serpents Have you ever seen something weird in the sky, and then later decided you had seen a horrible beastie? Do you look at large flocks of birds and worry that an aerial serpent was coming to kill you? Do you ever want to just make up some wild bullshit about monsters because an insect got in the way of your perfect photo of the sky? Today, we're talking about air rods and sky serpents, two strange sky phenomena that have attracted a LOT of wild buzz about

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00:58:37

These Cryptids Were MADE for Podcasting

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/01/26

We've often discussed the possibility of cryptid ASMR on the show, but this week, it's a host of cryptids who are audio only! We know they exist (maybe) because they sure are loud. A host of debates arise around the size and shape of these folks and where they've gone since. This week it's the Bloop, the Hum, the 52 Hertz Whale, and more--a bunch of strange sounds and the (possible?) beasts behind them. Today's topics: The Bloop NEEDS to be real because it would be so funny; attempting to bring

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01:02:43

Big Bird's Weird Extended Family

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/01/19

This Week: The Big Bird, the Kansas City Winged Demon, and the Ropen! Are you intimidated by large birds? Do you find something just a bit unsettling about the flying, vengeful descendants of dinosaurs that seem to lurk in every tree or roost near every pond? Well, we've got a long line up of some of the biggest, most unsettling bird-like creatures you can imagine today! These winged demons have intimidated passerby, stared at driveways from nearby foliage, and just creeped a lot of people out

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01:00:53

You are Not Immune to Moonshine Entrapment

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2022/01/12

This week: the Snallygaster! You know what the coolest part about Maryland is? Set down your crab traps, get off the board walk, and wander into the countryside with us, because there's something you GOTTA see. After all, who wouldn't want to bear witness to a giant, half-bird, half-lizard, flying beast with a metal beak and octopus tentacles coming out of its mouth! Hide your sheep and keep your most vulnerable farmers away from this beastie (unless you've got a vat of moonshine on-hand), because

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01:03:25

Trans-Siberian Bigfeet

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/12/29

This week on ACSG, it's a double header of TWO Siberian hominids. We go all in on how the hell hominids work here, and the issues within the USSR with cryptozoology (spoilers: they were not very good at pseudoscience). One squatch is busy stealing your animals while the other is offering you nuts and berries. And one question lingers: why do governments hide [ignore] their very real [very fake] cryptids! It's all about the Almas and the Chuchunya this week! Topics include: how long would it take

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01:00:36

No Little Irish Boy! Don't Follow the Ghost Light!

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/12/22

Are you afraid of lights? Circles? Things which float? Then this episode is terrifying! This week is all about ghost lights, including the will-o'-the-wisp, corpse candles, and the Min Min lights! A triple threat of an episode where we mostly ask "okay, so how does swamp gas work anyway?" Sit down and remember to never trust lanterns (despite how cool they are). Topics include: where are fantasy writers getting their stuff from; atmospheric reactions; UFOs are killing ghosts; I don't want to play

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00:58:33

History Will Absolve All Sharks

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/12/15

This Week: El Monstruo de Cojimar! Shark week might be six months away, but that's not gonna stop us! We have our OWN shark week here at the Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide, and this week we're taking some time to discuss a BIG albino shark that was found in Cojimar, Cuba! Grab your boat, your fishing pole, and your IKEA shark, because today's episode is 100% shark content! Today's topics: Real sea monsters; don't eat the children; genes, evolution, and one big boy; Cas nerds out about science;

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00:58:54

The Hoax to end All Cryptid Hoaxes

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/12/08

This Week: The Jackalope! Look, a weird bunny! Isn't he cute? Whether it's a rabbit with an unfortunate disease, a weird new style of taxidermy, or a massive statue at Wall Drug, the Jackalope is an iconic American symbol that speaks to the beauty and oddity of nature...wait, they aren't real??? Today, we cover the Jackalope, an adorable horned rabbit that Cas legitimately thought was real for many, many years. Today's topics: Only the weird animals eat lunchables; the states are fightinggg (over

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01:04:42

You're Telling Me a Pope Licked This Monster???

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/11/17

This Week: The Pope Lick Monster! Goatmen, creepy triangles, and brutal railroad murders? Wow, this dude is intense! Not only that, but he also has a bunch of weird friends in other lick-related cities—weird! Today, we investigate the Pope Lick Monster, a brutal half-man, half-goat (half-sheep??) monster living underneath the Pope Lick Trestle and terrorizing unfortunate victims, and all his fucked up "Big Lick Triangle" friends. Today's Topics: Discount creepy triangles; inter-dimensional

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01:00:01

Minnie Monster, Massive Problems

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/11/10

This Week: The Minerva Monster! Ohio's mostly farm and swamp. So what happens when some swamp beast comes to kill your dog, throw rocks at your house, and just generally be kind of a jerk? You start a city wide hunt for him. Here in the small town of Minerva, residents are harassed for years by a strange hairy beast. This bigfoot brethren distinguishes itself with a number of oddities. Question 1: why does it have no neck? Question 2: hold on, are those other monsters? And question 3: are you

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01:00:33

Minnesota (N)ice

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/11/03

This Week: The Minnesota Iceman! Seeing a frozen man? Not an unusual phenomenon in the frozen tundra of Minnesota. Seeing a giant hairy man frozen in a big block of ice? Now THAT'S something worth seeing...or it would be, if it weren't a total hoax. Today, we discuss the legendary (and disgraceful) Minnesota Iceman, the closest thing that Minnesota has ever gotten to having a hairy hominid of its very own. Today's Topics: Where do you get a frozen dude?; Cryptids tried to teach us the Dewey

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01:00:14

Do Not Run from the Big British Bobcat

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/10/27

This Week: Phantom Cats! Seriously, don't run from the random, giant cat wandering around your neighborhood. How did it get there? We don't know. Why is it chilling out in an area that's WAY outside where its natural habitat is? Ask Eberhart. What we DO know is that running from any of these anomalous big boys will engage their prey chase instinct and you'll become either an eviscerated victim on the hillside or the subject of a VERY viral tik tok. Today's topics: The various feline beasties of

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01:04:29

I Can't Larp with You; I Have Lyme Disease

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/10/20

This week, it's all about American Vampires! We're taking you back to the 1800s once more, this time in America! It's a most terrible time to have tuberculosis in New England. I mean, it's never a good time, but now you and your loved ones are getting accused of vampirism! It is pretty much the worst and everyone's dealing with it. Of course, that's all probably just superstition. After all, there are REAL American Vampires too, aren't there? Yes, besides the vampire panic, we get into the modern

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01:02:43

I'd Die for Any Demon Dog

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/10/13

We've got more dogs coming your way, both substantially more violent and substantially more likable than our last few. This week, it's the Black Dog, a wide array of monsters from the Barghest to the Church Grim! Is the Black Dog good? Bad? Morally neutral? Depends on where you go and is very distinctly possible based on whether you're a Christian or not. Did you know dogs have religious affiliations? Yeah, we didn't think so either. Churches all across England have seen these things, as well as

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01:00:38

One Tall Glass of Water

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/10/06

This Week: the Cardiff Giant! Wow, it's a big guy! He's like. 10 feet tall. That's really big. I mean, it feels really big, right? Do you think other giants think this guy is kinda small? How do those eight foot tall people feel about this guy? Today we talk about the Cardiff Giant, a petrified humongous man discovered in New York, the talk of the state for a couple months. Before the TRUTH came out about this bad boy. Today's topics: hoaxes and hucksters; stone penises; biblical literalism; the

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00:59:19

It's a Dog Eat Man World

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/09/29

This Week: The Michigan Dogman! Oh my god, a dog! We love dogs! They're so cute and fluffy and...wait, why is this one 7 feet tall? And why does he look so...threatening? Wuh oh, this isn't an ordinary dog, this guy means business! Today we investigate the Michigan Dogman, a big scary boy (or perhaps just a radio DJ in a fursuit) wreaking havoc in the Upper Midwest. Today's Topics: Jude's freshman year film project; werewolves; Satan and his Witches; Cas's deep analysis of a prank song; is your

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01:00:44

Gloucester? I Barely Know Her!

The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide ·

2021/09/22

This Week: The Gloucester Sea Serpent! What's the coolest thing you can possibly see in New England? Sure there are a lot of buildings, cities, and people bustling about on the east coast, but if you ask your local cryptid nerd, you might want to take a right at Cape Ann and stare straight at the water. If you sit there and wait for several hours, or try to go fishing, or hang out with a very specific pair of Gloucester ladies, you might see a funky little sea monster in them there waters

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