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The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG

Dumb-Dumbs & Dice

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG is a Dumb-Dumbs & Dice live-play podcast where professional voice actors and improvisers journey into the grim darkness of the 41st millenium - playing the Genesys adaptation of Warhammer 40K"s "Dark Heresy" TTRPG! Join Inquisitor Lucius Valentyne, and hive-bred siblings Lyric and Alto, as this unlikely trio try to save the Emperor from a cabal of mysterious enemies! This series features our Game Master Tom McGee (@mcgeetd), and regular players Ryan LaPlante

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All Episodes

50:10

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.38 - Diverging Paths

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/10/01

Last episode, the Agents of the Inquisition began preparing for their next mission alongside the Inquisitork. Morgan worked with Avarice and CL053T to build a hypnomat machine to speed-teach the Judge Ork Kultur and customs. Solomon spent his time training Whistler and finally taught the Kroot Hound basic commands in a way that stuck. But most importantly of all, Damien and the Judge began training alongside the Inquisitork itself. The Judge allowed himself to be battered by the creature before

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52:43

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.37 - Green Fury

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/09/24

Last episode, the Inquisitork was released from its cryopod and the Inquisitorial band were thrust into a battle for dominance. Pushing the Judge to the fore, the rest of the team attempted to assist him in overcoming the creature. Damien ended up heavily injured, but the hierarchy of dominance was established cleanly: Morgan is “Boss Boss” and the Judge is “Da Nob”, under which serves the Inquisitork. Morgan realized Damien would need proximity to the Ork to figure out how the xenos psyker powers

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43:54

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.36 - The Inquisitork

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/09/17

Last episode, Avarice gave Morgan the information required for her team’s upcoming mission. She learned the Inquisitork was an Ork that had been altered to be loyal to the Inquisition and was currently being thawed out of a cryo-pod onboard the Lucky Strike. She also learned her team’s mission is to convince an ork armada to leave a Blackstone pylon codenamed “Ravenor”. It will be an undercover mission with Damien training alongside the Inquisitork to learn how to act as a “Wyrd Boy”, and the Judge

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42:43

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.35 - The Consequences...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/09/10

Last episode, the Judge finally underwent a dangerous Rejuvenat treatment. Despite CL053T’s lack of experience providing the procedure the Judge fully recovered, though he lost a few of his core memories in the process. Solomon was relieved to see a bit of the Judge’s interest in regicide remained. Relieved by the Judge’s recovery, Morgan went to the chapel and found herself having a heart-to-heart conversation with Damien, who revealed at first his frustrations but eventually his interest in

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50:26

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.34 - Rejuvenat

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/09/03

Last episode, Solomon went about inviting each member of the core band to welcome Talos Ivo, Stevius Funkhauser and Whistler with a Promethean Secret Ceremony. Each new member of the team revealed their greatest desire and greatest fear (except Whistler who just ate and drank) and Solomon added a seared meat snack to the ceremony to honour the Kroot. After the ceremony Morgan took the Judge to receive rejuvenat treatment, though Solomon hesitantly admitted he preferred the Judge as he was now. Left

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56:27

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.33 - Secrets & Fears

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/08/27

Last episode, Morgan had successfully brought the Judge back to the team but realized he was in terrible condition. She made a list of priorities for his treatment, and ordered CL053T to prepare a rejuvenat treatment for the elderly arbitrator. While that was happening Damien took up position in the chapel and created a “purge book” to pour all of his doubts into so he could free his mind of them. Solomon was summoned by the Judge to play regicide and, due to the Judge’s deteriorating condition,

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54:59

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.32 - Internal Truths

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/08/20

Last episode Morgan was invited to meet with Libertine Morwith aboard the Shadow to negotiate the Judge’s return and made the trip solo despite the team’s objections. Solomon and Damien spent their time preparing the Lucky Strike for combat in case the situation deteriorated. In her negotiations Morgan remained cautious, only revealing what she had to, and successfully brought the Judge home - discovering he is in worse condition than she expected. Physically he is strong, but a horrible toll has

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48:34

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.31 - Negotiating in Shadow

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/08/13

Last episode, the Judge was forced to battle his fellow captive Tasha while puppeting the body of an Ork. Victorious, he struck Tasha down and the others swore vengeance against him before enacting a deadly battle of their own. Meanwhile, the rest of the agents returned to the Lucky Strike and introduced Stevius Funkhauser to the rest of the crew. During a brief moment of transition Morgan filed reports about the rest of the team - then Avarice reported they had arrived in a system containing

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53:10

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.30 - The Final Lesson

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/08/06

Last episode, the Judge was slowly losing his mind on the ship of the Rogue Trader Libertine Morwith. His fellow prisoners have been training, learning combat and social skills, becoming more capable and forming bonds between themselves. The Judge, however, refused to partake and was eventually chained up to prevent him from harming himself trying to escape. Now they all face a final test, a battle to the death where they're forced to take over the body of Orks - and the Judge has to participate and

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52:41

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.29 - The Wraithbone...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/07/30

The Judge became acquainted with three other prisoners, who had all undergone the same Wraithbone surgery. As the weeks went on, they were each taken away to be indoctrinated through hypnotherapy into xenos cultures. Alastair learned the speech and movements of the Aeldari language, while the Mayor received the education of a chaos cultist and learned some warpcraft, and the Judge and Tasha became accustomed with Ork speech and terminology. The Judge, however, refused to acknowledge that he had

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55:31

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.28 - Forced Education

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/07/23

Judge Rex awoke in a cell, strapped to a slab with Rex 2 muzzled in a nearby kennel, having been abducted from the Lucky Strike. One of his captors, Tina, said she was working on behalf of a client and would be surgically inserting Wraithbone into his body. The Judge failed to bargain with his captor, and the surgeries continued for 68 days until he made a desperate play to free himself but only managed to get his beloved cybermastiff killed in the attempt. After more than 2 months of constant

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49:40

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.27 - The Abduction of...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/07/16

The agents and their allies faced off against Aun’o Artemis, who was operating a massive battlesuit. Damien drew on his psyker abilities and successfully commanded Aun’o Artemis to eject from the suit, leaving the Ethereal unprotected. Solomon struck Aun’o Artemis as the Tau flew through the air towards him, cleaving him through and revealing that the so-called Ethereal had been an imposter. The battle over, Morgan declared that the Tau’va had been saved and the Tau could return home, which was

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43:36

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.26 - The Eternal Contract

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/07/09

The agents, Gue’vesa gangs, and Kroot laid siege to the central dome that housed Aun’o Artemis, fighting Fire caste warriors, drones, and a Crisis Battlesuit. Damien unleashed warpfire, Solomon threw photon grenades to disorient the Tau warriors, and Morgan used her smaller size and nimbleness to deftly move through her enemies as she attacked. Solomon dealt the killing blow to the Tau inside the Crisis suit, but then an even large figure in a massive battlesuit stepped out: Aun’o

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44:29

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.25 - The Gue'vesa...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/07/02

Brother Solomon informed the Vespid of Aun’o Artemis’s betrayal of the Tauva and of his illegitimate claim to his position. The Vespid said they would determine the truth of his corruption, and would kill Solomon and his people if it was in fact deception. Excella Rhodes, Spartacus, and the Agents decided on their plan of attack and Solomon informed the Vespid through the helmet they had given him. The Vespid took off, and fire caste warriors began to counter, Morgan gave the single, and all their

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49:57

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.24 - Test the Stinger

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/06/25

As the agents made plans to challenge the Ethereal, Spartacus heard how Morgan spoke of xenos and he no longer trusted her to help the Kroot find a way off the planet. Solomon, however, considered his alliance with the Kroot to be sincere, and promised to help them. Spartacus took Solomon to treat with the Vespid, but as they approached the Hive, it seemed to be emitting harmful radiation. Damien, Morgan, and Excella Rhodes, meanwhile, devised a plan to draw the Fire Caste into an ambush, but it

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49:30

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.23 - The Hive of Silent...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/06/18

The agents returned to the Kroot dome, Spartacus summoned Tau that might be sympathetic, and Stevius left to round up Gue’vesa leaders to discuss the current situation. Morgan showed the Tau Romeo’s recordings of the battle and the bodies they had found in the woods. The Tau were hesitant to accept duplicity within their ranks, but accepted that unintentional mistakes may have been made. The agents followed a line of questioning that had the Tau recognizing inconsistencies coming from the Ethereal’s

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51:14

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.22 - Unintentional...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/06/11

The agents fought off the last of their Tau ambushers. Solomon had a troubling sense of a desecration within the cave, and upon investigating, they discovered the bodies of Gue’vesa, Kroot, and a few Tau, all of which had been there since around the establishment of Fontus. Spartacus then arrived, and after explaining what had happened, all evidence pointed to the theory that the people who had gone missing during the warg hunts had, in fact, been killed by the Tau. The warg may not even exist

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51:59

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.21 - A Troubling...

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/06/04

The agents found themselves isolated in the woods, ambushed by Tau in stealth battle suits. Solomon quickly discovered that the weapons that had been provided to them by the Tau had been sabotaged, Morgan tried to drag Stevius to safety but couldn’t entirely avoid him being hit, and Damien drew on the warp to alter the flow of time around some of their enemies to delay their attack. They focused their efforts on taking out the Tau who were still moving, and turned their attention to the two left at

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48:39

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.20 - Ambushed

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/05/28

The agents selected their weapons and boarded transport to the site of the Great Hunt, accompanied by Stevius, Romeo, and Whistler. They set down in a forest at some distance from the other teams and fanned out to search the area. As they approached a cave mouth in search of wargs in the area, they were suddenly set upon by gatling gun fire emanating from a stealth battle suit.Featuring players Del Borovic, Guy Bradford, Josh Halbot, and Tyler Hewitt, and Dungeon Master Ryan LaPlante. Enjoying

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62:28

Agents of the Inquisition - 2.19 - The Great Hunt

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2026/05/21

In the final rounds of the contests for the right to join the Great Hunt, Stevius miraculously beat Excella Rhodes at regicide and cleared his debt with her, and Damien handily won his contest of warp manipulation. Back at the Kroot camp, the agents were welcomed more fully into the clan. Solomon shared the teachings from his bible with the Kroot and had Damien transcribe additions from the Kroot themselves. Morgan and Damien learned, through their own admissions to Alice and Spartacus, that the

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