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PODCAST

Gentle Power

Gerta and Alex at YourNegotiations.com

Join Gerta Malaj & Alex Choi as they share negotiation playbooks, dissect real deals, and reveal life bootstrapping a husband-wife business in SF. As co-founders of YourNegotiations.com, they’ve added 5-6 figure raises to job offers and guided founders through investor, vendor, and customer negotiations - B2B contracts, fundraising, co-founder splits, and more. Gerta (MIT MEng, Wellesley Math) spent 10+ years at LinkedIn, Salary.com & VC firms. Alex, a USAF veteran, ran GTM for Meta’s #2

business careers

All Episodes

00:48:13

35. Turning a job posting into a new client, and BTS...

Gentle Power ·

2025/11/25

This week we spoke with our friend Matt LeBaron, cofounder and CEO of Pocketbook. Matt helps large companies evaluate their software vendors, renegotiate contracts, and make smarter decisions about their tech stack. He also works as a part-time consultant with Adobe’s software procurement team.Our conversation covers:How Matt creatively turned a full-time job posting from Adobe into part-time client work for his businessWhy negotiations are more flexible than they appear, and how stated policies or

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00:45:00

34. Practicing saying no & smiling with your voice

Gentle Power ·

2025/11/21

This week on Gentle Power, we’re joined by Shawna Samuel, an executive consultant who focuses on supporting executive-working mothers in demanding roles. Shawna began her career in global finance, where she spent two decades shaping partnerships across the US and Europe. When she became a mother, the structure that had supported her career started to feel less stable. Her responsibilities grew while the available support didn’t grow with them, and she began questioning the default assumption that

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00:11:13

33. Have you tried IFS therapy? It can make you a...

Gentle Power ·

2025/11/14

This week on Gentle Power, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy has changed the way we think about negotiations. The IFS school of thought is based on the idea that we all have different “parts” within us that try to protect us in different ways, and this framework offers surprising lessons for how we show up in high-stakes conversations.Our conversation covers:Why curiosity works better than confrontation when someone gets pushy or defensiveHow to stay grounded when you feel

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00:16:19

32. When you think you’re strengthening your...

Gentle Power ·

2025/11/07

In this episode, we break down one of the most overlooked negotiation traps: how people give away their leverage when they think they’re actually helping their case. From revealing salary history to competing offers to personal disclosures, even senior leaders can unintentionally anchor themselves low and limit their earning power.Our conversation covers:How one of our high performing, executive clients made a fatal mistake in their negotiations thinking they were actually helping their caseWhy

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00:25:14

31. How to negotiate when you were referred by...

Gentle Power ·

2025/10/31

In this episode, we discuss a common dilemma: how to negotiate when the job opportunity came through a referral. Many people hesitate to negotiate in these situations out of fear of seeming ungrateful or straining the relationship that helped them get in the door. We share how to approach these conversations without creating awkwardness or risking the relationship.Our conversation covers:Why a warm intro doesn't mean you can’t advocate for yourselfWhy keeping a pulse on your market value now

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01:03:06

30. An ex-Google corporate attorney on negotiations

Gentle Power ·

2025/10/23

This week we’re joined by Alex Daniels, founder of Decrypted Law and a JD-MBA who is ex-Google, has advised startups and investors during his time at Cooley, and now through his own practice. Alex helps founders and employees navigate legal complexity and drive equitable outcomes through intentional legal design. We explore the structures that keep negotiations ethical, equitable, and grounded in real leverage.Our conversation covers:What founders and employees should know about clawback clauses,

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00:47:02

29. A corporate attorney’s take on business deal...

Gentle Power ·

2025/10/17

In this episode, we’re joined by corporate attorney and SaaS dealmaker, Omeed Tabiei, whose career spans Hyperloop’s moonshot years, two startups of his own, and now a boutique legal firm that helps software founders from incorporation to exit. We dig into how negotiation really works across the startup lifecycle: pricing your services, converting cold outreach into warm relationships, and protecting leverage when buyers come knocking.We cover:Why everything is a negotiation, from scoping legal work

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00:45:15

28. Inside a hiring manager’s mind during negotiations

Gentle Power ·

2025/10/09

In this episode, we’re joined by Mariane Bekker: engineering leader through six exits, former Director of Engineering at Mindbody, and founder of the 80k-member tech community, Founders Bay. Our conversation explores pay and negotiations from the hiring side, how bias actually shows up in offers, and how women (and allies) can ensure fair offers from both sides of the table.We cover:How to avoid anchoring traps that disadvantage women in offersWhy motivation and scope often matter more than “market

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00:33:15

27. Negotiations for founders & startups

Gentle Power ·

2025/10/03

This week we’re sharing a live workshop we hosted with Marianne Bekker (Managing Partner, Founders Bay) on how founders can negotiate across every phase of the startup journey, from co-founder splits to investor terms, design partners, vendors, and early hires. Gerta walks through a practical framework for keeping leverage, avoiding common traps (like giving numbers/ranges), and aligning deals to the right priorities rather than the loudest ones.Our presentation covers:The founder negotiation map:

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01:02:00

26. Negotiating a $800K DJ contract & robot combat

Gentle Power ·

2025/09/26

In our first in-person interview, we sat down with David Carvalho: entrepreneur, veteran DJ, and the man behind some of San Francisco’s most iconic tech and music events. For more than two decades, David has booked talent for Dreamforce, the Super Bowl, and private gatherings for Silicon Valley’s most influential leaders, while also performing at Coachella, Ultra, Outside Lands, Giants, Warriors, and Raiders games, Google and Facebook’s IPO parties, and even Christina Aguilera’s wedding.In our

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00:38:13

0. What it's like working with us

Gentle Power ·

2025/09/24

We often get asked, "What does a negotiation service look like?" In this video, we go into detail on exactly what our clients experience when they work with us to negotiate their compensation.If you're in the job search or expecting upcoming negotiations, book a free call with us to get free negotiation tips for your situation and to explore if we're a good fit to work together! Find a time here: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call

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00:30:43

25. Don’t say “fair” or “generous” in negotiations

Gentle Power ·

2025/09/18

In this episode, we unpack the exact words and phrases that quietly tank negotiations, and what to say instead. A recent study conducted by Neil Rackham shows skilled negotiators use far fewer “irritator words” like “fair,” “reasonable,” and “generous,” because those labels backfire.We cover:The “irritator words” to avoid based on the study (“fair offer,” “reasonable,” “generous”) and simple, better substitutesIrritator words that we have observed from our experience and what to say insteadA kinder,

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00:37:03

How AI can jeopardize your negotiations

Gentle Power ·

2025/09/13

In this episode, we tested AI against some of our most common negotiation questions to find out where it helps, and where it confidently steers you wrong. On paper it looked helpful, but the devil was in the details; the results were a mix of good reminders and dangerously misleading shortcuts. We covered topics like:Why “market data” (Glassdoor, Levels, Blind) rarely moves real offers, and what to use insteadHow to ask for a written offer the right way (and why a signable letter beats a summary

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00:17:03

23. How companies hide comp details in plain sight

Gentle Power ·

2025/09/04

In this episode, we cover:A real-life example of an offer letter from a major company that seemed to grant $50K/year in equity, but turned out to be far lessSimple ways to ask for clarity without sounding combativeWhy assuming best intent helps you keep leverage and relationships intactWe also share:A Burning Man story that raised the question: do we negotiate with friends?The classic “splitting an orange” example that shows how creative problem-solving beats compromiseTune in for practical

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00:27:03

22. Even the best negotiators need help

Gentle Power ·

2025/08/28

In this episode, we cover:Why even world-class professionals with top MBAs and deal-making experience can still mishandle their own salary negotiationsThe stigma around hiring a coach, and how it’s no different from hiring a trainer, therapist, or MBA consultant to help you level upThe gap between knowing good advice and executing it well when the stakes feel high and context mattersWhy AI is unable to replace a negotiations consultantWe also share:A candid story from a friend who was literally

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00:56:54

21. We interview an HR leader & employment attorney

Gentle Power ·

2025/08/21

This week, we spoke with Kevin Houng, an HR/people business partner, former employment attorney, and one of Alex’s longest friends, who’s helped launch dozens of venture-backed teams and guided executives through complex compensation decisions.In our conversation, we covered:How companies actually decide budgets for open roles, from scrappy startups to Fortune 500 giantsWhy larger organizations lean on rigid salary bands (and algorithms) while smaller teams often make exceptions for the right

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01:05:06

20. We met with a divorce mediator

Gentle Power ·

2025/08/14

For this week’s episode of Gentle Power, we welcome our very first guest: Joe Dillon, founder of Equitable Mediation. Joe has spent nearly two decades helping couples navigate the high-stakes, emotionally-charged negotiations of divorce without lawyers, achieving outcomes that protect both their finances and their future relationships.In our conversation, we explore the surprising overlap between divorce mediation and salary or job offer negotiations, including:Why “don’t decide before discovery”

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00:23:53

19. How to get your offer rescinded

Gentle Power ·

2025/08/07

In this episode, we cover:Five real reasons offers get rescinded (and how to avoid each)Cordial scripts and mindset shifts to push back safely without burning bridgesWe also share:Why one client held onto her “Company A” offer - and how it saved her from a late‑stage fallback at “Company B”The “equity‑info blackout” that led to Company B falling through, and the upfront questions she now asksOur favorite Gentle Power negotiation script to keep your offer intact and relationships strongTune in to

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00:53:10

18. Being selfless is hurting your salary

Gentle Power ·

2025/07/31

For this week’s episode, we are sharing Gerta’s recent interview with Brendan Aronson on the Milvet Podcast, where we discussed actionable negotiation tactics tailored for military veterans transitioning into the civilian job market; insights are just as relevant for people from other backgrounds.In this conversation, we cover:How military service shapes your mindset - and why “service before self” must shift to “advocate for yourself” in the civilian job marketThe single biggest leverage point:

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00:33:33

17. Avoiding awkward negotiation moments & how to...

Gentle Power ·

2025/07/25

In this episode, we cover:How to lock in clear price limits with hairstylists, plumbers and other contractors - so you never get surprised by unexpected add‑onsWhy spelling out the real problem you need to solve (“I keep getting unexpected invoices”) and your intent (“I run a business and need full visibility”) makes pushback feel naturalTactful scripts for deflecting vague scope creep, communicating your budget, and keeping relationships positiveThe power of a simple “here’s why it matters to me”

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36 results

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