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PODCAST

Sex for Saints

As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life! In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

16:18

Episode 392 - Why Sexual Rejection Feels So Personal

Sex for Saints ·

2025/10/24

Sexual rejection is one of the most painful experiences in marriage, but is your spouse really rejecting you or just rejecting sex? In this episode, I break down the two types of rejection, how to tell the difference, and why understanding this can change everything in your relationship. We’ll talk about what rejection looks like when it’s personal, what it looks like when it’s not, and how to stop letting painful stories in your head dictate the way you feel. If you’ve ever wondered, “What’s really

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17:01

Episode 391 - I Meet Her Needs, Why Won't She Meet Mine?

Sex for Saints ·

2025/10/17

So many men tell me, “I meet all her needs, why can’t she meet mine?” Almost always that “need” is sex. I understand the frustration behind that question, but here’s the truth- it’s not helping your sex life, it’s hurting it. In this episode, I talk about why framing sex as a “need” actually shuts down desire, and what to do instead if you want real intimacy and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of obligation, resentment, or just going through the motions, this conversation will give

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29:39

Episode 390 - The Brain Chemistry of Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/10/10

Have you ever wondered why you can feel like a totally different person during sex than afterward? In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening in your brain before, during, and after intimacy, and why it matters for your sex life. I’ll show you how your neurobiology impacts desire, openness, and connection, and how you can use that knowledge to feel more present, communicate better, and stop judging yourself for normal responses. If you’ve ever been confused about why you or your partner

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18:32

Episode 389 - The Good Guy She Doesn’t Desire

Sex for Saints ·

2025/10/03

In this episode, I’m diving into a pattern I see so often in marriages: good men with the best intentions who unintentionally invalidate their wives’ feelings. I’ll share real stories of couples who get stuck in this cycle and explain why it happens, especially when a husband’s identity is tied so closely to being “the good guy.” You’ll hear how this dynamic leaves wives feeling unseen and husbands frustrated, even though neither partner wants that outcome. Most importantly, I’ll talk about what

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19:06

Episode 388 - Sexual Grief

Sex for Saints ·

2025/09/26

Sexual grief is something many experience but few talk about. In this episode, we explore what it means to grieve the sex life you thought you’d have, and why making grief your companion instead of your enemy can lead to deeper healing, connection, and hope. You’ll hear how sexual grief shows up in different ways, from unmet expectations to struggles with desire or intimacy, and why acknowledging it matters. Most importantly, you’ll learn how grief, when faced with compassion, can become a guide

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25:06

Episode 387 - She Doesn't Hate Sex, She Hates Bad Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/09/19

In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching practice: why do so many women say no to sex? The truth is, it’s often not about low libido, it’s about the kind of sex they’re having. When intimacy feels like an obligation, when body image fears take over, or when pleasure and freedom are missing, it’s no wonder women start turning away. I’ll walk you through the real reasons behind sexual rejection in marriage and share how couples can rebuild connection, joy,

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32:20

Episode 386 - Blending Your Erotic Minds: How Novelty...

Sex for Saints ·

2025/09/12

In this episode, I welcome back Katie Runyon of Faithful Fling to explore how playfulness, novelty, and emotional intimacy can transform long-term marriages. Katie shares how role play dates help couples break free from routine, rediscover curiosity, and keep monogamy passionate. Together, we discuss why emotional connection and sexual novelty aren’t opposites but actually fuel each other, creating stronger trust and desire. With over 50 creative “flings,” Faithful Fling offers tools to bring fun,

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19:05

Episode 385 - The Dangerous Illusion of Sexual Certainty

Sex for Saints ·

2025/09/05

In this episode, we explore why sexual certainty, which is the belief that you already know exactly how intimacy should look, might actually be blocking passion and connection in your relationship. You’ll learn the difference between confidence and certainty, how curiosity creates space for growth, and why faith and openness are key to deeper intimacy. Through personal stories, brain science, and real-life coaching examples, you’ll see how letting go of rigid beliefs and asking better questions can

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14:48

Episode 384 - The Difference Between Safety and...

Sex for Saints ·

2025/08/29

In this episode, we’re unpacking a powerful insight that could completely transform the way you experience intimacy in your marriage. It’s all about the surprising difference between safety and security in your sexual relationship and why understanding it might be the missing piece to reigniting the passion you’ve been longing for. Most people think they’re the same thing, but once you see the distinction, it can change everything about the way you connect with your spouse. Sources: Safety vs

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46:22

Episode 383 - Learning to Love Your Body: A...

Sex for Saints ·

2025/08/22

In this dynamic episode, Amanda sits down with Hope Orr, the owner of Elevated Boudoir, Utah’s premier boudoir photography studio. Hope shares her personal journey from body insecurity and diet culture to self-acceptance and how one DIY boudoir session completely shifted her mindset. Now, she helps other women (and couples) experience that same transformation through photography that’s more about healing than it is about posing. We dive into how boudoir photography can spark self-love, rebuild

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18:35

Episode 382 - The Difference Between Sex Drive and...

Sex for Saints ·

2025/08/15

In this episode, we’re diving into a powerful idea I recently heard on the Sex Therapy 101 podcast - a conversation between Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers and my friend Dr. Cami Hurst. Dr. Sellers shared a thought-provoking insight about the difference between sex drive and sexual desire. It’s something we’ve touched on before, but today I want to give it the attention it deserves. This is one of the most misunderstood concepts in marriage, and I truly believe that understanding this difference might

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39:25

Episode 381 - Bad Marriage Advice

Sex for Saints ·

2025/08/08

Is the marriage advice you’ve heard actually helping or quietly hurting your relationship? In this episode, Amanda interviews marriage coach and author Monica Tanner about her new book Bad Marriage Advice. They dive into common myths like “never go to bed angry” and “happy wife, happy life,” and explain why these well-meaning tips can lead to disconnection over time. You’ll hear real stories, modern insight, and practical ways to build a relationship rooted in choice, not obligation. Whether you're

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22:11

Episode 380 - Learning to Sit with Disappointment

Sex for Saints ·

2025/08/01

What if the key to deeper intimacy was learning how to handle disappointment? In this episode, we’re talking about the one feeling most of us spend our lives avoiding, disappointment, and how that avoidance quietly chips away at connection in our relationships. Whether it’s a quiet letdown at the end of a long day or a pattern of unspoken hopes, we often sidestep the pain instead of sitting with it. But what if facing disappointment head-on could actually strengthen your relationship and even your

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18:50

Episode 379 - I Guess I'm a Terrible Spouse....

Sex for Saints ·

2025/07/25

You finally build up the courage to say something vulnerable, maybe about feeling disconnected, wanting more intimacy, or missing the spark in your relationship. And then, instead of a conversation, you hear: “Well, I guess I’m just a terrible spouse then.” This podcast episode dives into what’s really going on when that phrase shows up. It’s not about blame or guilt. It’s often a sign of emotional overwhelm. We’ll explore why this defensive response shuts down connection, what’s happening under the

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13:24

Episode 378 - Maintenance Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/07/18

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “maintenance sex”? For a lot of people, it feels unromantic - maybe even a little cringy. It doesn’t sound poetic or passionate. But what if we’re thinking about it all wrong? In this episode, we’re challenging the way we see maintenance sex. Instead of seeing it as leftovers or a chore, what if we saw it as a sacred act of love, something we choose to do, not because we’re wildly turned on, but because we care about keeping that thread of intimacy alive

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17:01

Episode 377 - Good Enough Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/07/11

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “We should have sex… but I’m just not feeling it” - only to go through the motions and walk away feeling disconnected? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re talking about a concept that might just change how you think about intimacy: Good Enough Sex. It’s a model developed by sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy that shifts the goal of sex away from pressure and perfection and toward emotional connection. We’ll talk about why sex in long-term

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21:27

Episode 376 - The Enneagram And Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/07/04

Why do you react the way you do in sexual situations, whether it’s craving something specific, avoiding certain dynamics, or feeling stuck in the same patterns? And why does your partner seem to approach sex so differently? In this episode, we explore how the Enneagram can shed light on your unique relationship to intimacy. The Enneagram isn’t just another personality test - it’s a deep dive into the core fears, desires, and motivations that shape how we show up in the world, including in our sex

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16:36

Episode 375 - Sexual Discipline

Sex for Saints ·

2025/06/27

What if sexual discipline isn’t about restriction, but about freedom? In this episode, I’m exploring a concept that doesn’t get much airtime in Christian marriage spaces: sexual discipline within marriage. Too often, it’s framed as something just for singles, something to “hold onto” until marriage. But what if it’s actually a key to deeper connection, emotional wholeness, and a healthier sex life with your spouse? I’ll talk about how sexual discipline isn’t about control for control’s sake, but

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11:40

Episode 374 - The Marriage Is Great…Except for Sex

Sex for Saints ·

2025/06/20

You’ve probably heard it, or maybe even said it: “Our marriage is great… except for the sex.” On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there’s hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn’t just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it’s often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I’m explaining why sexual disconnect in a marriage is rarely just about sex. I’ll talk about how issues like emotional distance, unresolved conflict,

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18:08

Episode 373 - When You Feel Stuck in Your Sexual...

Sex for Saints ·

2025/06/13

In this episode, we’re diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It’s what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let’s talk about how growth in a relationship isn’t pain-free, and why it’s so tempting to wait for a magical third

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