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The Lizard Review

The Lizard

Detailed amphibious rantings on songs, artists, records, and rocks. thelizardreview.substack.com

music music commentary

All Episodes

68:29

A Frighteningly Angry Halloween Lyric Analysis

The Lizard Review ·

2025/10/31

There's nothing as scary as female rage...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

76:49

EVERY Autumn is Gilmore Girls Autumn

The Lizard Review ·

2025/10/24

Gilmore Girls is one of my favorite shows of all time...and it also happens to be one of the most fall-coded shows ever created. We're FINALLLYYY doing Autumn behaviors on The Lizard Review and kicking it off STRONG with a semi-chaotic ranking of my twelve favorite Gilmore Girls episodes of all time, because some of these other people I've seen ranking episodes really need help... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

69:48

No, Taylor Swift Is Not A Tradwife

The Lizard Review ·

2025/10/17

Insane sentence to have to type OR say in the year 2025...but alas, here we are. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

92:06

If I Can't Have Showgirl, I Want Badlands

The Lizard Review ·

2025/09/26

My trip abroad and beyond was filled with many happenstances including roaches, pizza, and a Polaroid to heal old wounds...but now that I'm finally back from a long workation, it's finally time to get myself back into the official mindset of SHOWGIRL. Shift with me back into Showgirl and Swiftie mode as we talk about the most recent developments in the world of the new record including the theatrical release and the Target exclusive edition of the record, and then finish it off with a deep dive on

73:30

A Ranking of The Lizard's Favorite Pop Records (sort of)

The Lizard Review ·

2025/09/19

In honor of there being a very huge pop record coming out in the next couple of weeks (I wonder to what I refer...) I decided to reflect on some of my favorite pop records of all time and also attempted to "rank" them, even though ranking is an evil word here on The Lizard Review. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

53:28

Going to the South with Hayley Williams

The Lizard Review ·

2025/09/12

When a song is just soooo good you have to LIB OUT!!!!!!! Hayley Williams surprise released a 17-song confection with no official title on her website - it was completely contextless, and we all dove into the tracks not knowing quite what to expect : one of the absolute best ways to engage with new projects. The songs are full of twists and turns, different spheres of influence, multiple complexities, and they contain some of Hayley's best solo work that she's ever done. Out of all the 17 songs, I

99:59

The Lizard's Ultimate Showgirl Primer Guide

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/22

Many might say that a "showgirl" is a very specific thing, and that you can't just walk around calling any celebrity you feel like a "showgirl..." here on The Lizard Review, I DO EXACTLY THAT!!!!!! In preparation for Taylor's new album The Life of a Showgirl, come with me on this mega episode as I talk about what exactly a showgirl is (or isn't) in my eyes, which albums and artists are the perfect vibe to get you in the mood for the new album, AND the best movies to watch for the showgirl

61:41

You Look Like A Showgirl In This Light

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/15

One of the most compelling songs on the Tortured Poets Department happened to be the final song - a tale of women in history who have risen to prominence and fame and have experienced all of the wonderful and terrible things that go along with them. Clara Bow was an interesting enough song as its own, but with the reveal of The Life of a Showgirl being the next album, like Carrie Bradshaw I just simply couldn't help but wonder : was Clara Bow one of the catalysts for the direction of this next

43:26

2025 VMA's Nominations and an Impassioned Plea for...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/08

Will this year's MTV Video Music Awards be, as the kids say, a "flop summit"? Following a lukewarm eight months of music for 2024, one could say it wouldn't necessarily be surprising...breakdown all of the nominees for this year's award show with me, including some Taylor Swift ts12 predicting (of course) and some ranting and raving about how excessive lawn mowing is ruining the earth. THANK YOU! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus

90:03

The Lizard's Favorite Taylor Swift Songs

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/01

One of the most important rituals of any stan is the process of "ranking" things. Anything and everything. Outifts, albums, lead singles, cats, romantic partners, and, of course, songs. Judging by the title of the episode you may be thinking you are about to experience yet another one such ranking - from the top at number one, all the way to the bottom. Sadly, this is not the case. Consider this my official retirement from attempting to rank even just my personal favorite Taylor Swift songs. This

96:50

Why Artists Start Making Bad Music

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/25

A question that haunts every single person about at least one band or artist that they used to love : what happened? In the longest episode of The Lizard Review yet, I go through four different examples of four VERY different artists who all have only one thing in common - they once were considered great artists, and now no longer are. Some of them become cheesy, some of them sell out, some of them grow up, some of them turn evil, and some of them just simply cannot recreate the magic that made them

61:00

The Lizard's Essential Albums : The One That Takes Me...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/11

The latest in my series about the albums that made me into who I am - this is about an album that made me feel very far away from wherever I didn't want to be when I was a kid. It's an album that made me dream of beaches and oceans and piers and highways along the coast that I had never been to before, an album that made me feel like life was sunnier than it seemed, and most importantly, an album that has the only song I've ever found that I actually like that has MY name in it. It's another one of

55:05

It's New, The Declaration of Independence. It's Blue,...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/04

The 4th of July is many things...the most important is that it's a celebration of the day I got married, but the SECOND most important thing is that it's a celebration of the start of summertime. And what more perfect way to kick off summer than doing a lyrical analysis of Taylor Swift's best summer song - Cruel Summer. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

55:46

Music Catchup : Is Sabrina Carpenter Singlehandedly...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/06/27

A lot of people seem to seriously, seriously think so. In this episode, I go into a biigggg discussion on why people feel that way, her newest song and album cover, and whether or not there's ANY credence to this claim whatsoever. PLUS : we get into Pitchfork's MISERABLY negative review of Benson Boone's newest album American Heart, and discuss a little bit of Addison Rae and a little bit of Jensen McRae. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access

61:44

I'm Guilty As Sin and Fresh Out The Slammer In Your...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/05/23

Is love truly the only thing that can save us in the end? That is the question posed by the four songs we're comparing and contrasting today in this lyrical analysis - Guilty as Sin and Fresh Out The Slammer by Taylor Swift, and Stained Glass Window and Silver Ford by Sunday (1994.) What do these songs have in common? What does Taylor have in common with the band? How does their songwriting differ from one another's? Who the f**k was that guy???? The answers to these questions AND MORE are lying in

110:19

I Met Sunday (1994) And Drank Their Last Coors Light

The Lizard Review ·

2025/05/02

On a fateful autumn day this last September I encountered a brand new band who had only yet released a nine song EP. They were mysterious, different, talented, and had some of the most specific and interesting branding I've seen from any other bands I've discovered so far this decade. That nine song EP quickly jumped up to one of my most played albums of the year, so naturally when they went on tour I simply had to be there no matter what and no matter where....but I never could have imagined just

55:27

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Analyses

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/25

One of the most underrated and overlooked songs on Tortured Poets may actually be one that has the most to mine....a simple and admittedly childish metaphor is actually far more than it seems once you really start digging into the depths of this song and what it represents in the narrative of the album. Celebrate ONE YEAR of Tortured Poets on The Lizard Review by analyzing one of my favorite songs from the album with me! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers

11:23

Sunday (1994) Rain REACTION featuring Clown Shoes...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/11

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

62:21

The Lizard's Top 15 Y2K Songs

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/11

One of my all time favorite time periods of music had it all...the best boy bands and girl bands in history, some of the most iconic female pop stars of all time, iconic producers, and legendary iconography. It ALSO had misogyny, villainous men topping the charts, and beloved female pop stars punching one another backstage at the VMA's. Nonetheless, I love y2k, flaws and all, and I decided to (attempt) to count down fifteen of my favorite songs from the era. This is a public episode. If you'd like

61:08

Happiness vs Happiness

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/04

Happiness is a butterfly...or is happiness a sunset? There will be happiness after you...or will it always escape from my hands into moonlight? Two different schools of thought on the same concept are presented by two of the most established and prolific female songwriters in the world - Lana Del Rey and Taylor Swift. On the one hand, Taylor Swift writes a full narrative of the five stages of grief and how to get back to happiness after all of it in her song Happiness from Evermore. On the other,

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