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PODCAST

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc.

Poems and Short Stories Comedy Sketches and vague ideas from the lands downunder. Created by Martin Anton Smith, a NZ based creative. Support the show links Donate via https://paypal.me/mrschmitzo Buy Tee Shirt/Hoodie via http://tee.pub/lic/E3FoSW19gOg Follow on Twitter @MrSchmitzo Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MrSchmitzo

arts

All Episodes

00:09:24

Ep. 48 Chippie Hopkins Would One Day Become A Prime...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2023/01/23

Yawn another D grade Episode. Thank you to Sally the Schnauser-Labradoodle cross who is my one and only listener - though I can't be sure you listen just because you accidentally tread on your owner's keyboard. If I receive fan mail with a dog paw print I will know I have 1 true fan. Now excuse me there is a 3 day old chip on my floor that needs eating.This episode is also available as a blog post:

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00:26:24

Ep 47. A 6 Poem Extravaganza! Features: Fly The...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/12/06

A new fresh cart of Horse Dung has arrived.....and lo & behold while I was a shovelin' the shite on me turnips, some poems fell out. So I read the poems & they ended up on the Net. Sorry to all my 1 listeners out there! This episode is also available as a blog post: https://martinantonsmithart.wordpress.com/2022/11/19/fly-the-nest-a-poem/

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00:30:32

Ep. 46 "The Lucid Dream Of Marcel Smithski - Just...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/10/24

Oh no - not another Episode! Oh well at least it's better than a kick in the pants! If only slightly! In this episode I read the story of Marcel Smithski - a resident of St Kilda Beach a seaside suburb of Melbourne Australia. He is a book loving, deadbeat, pseudo intellectual who dreams of one day being the final 'good' Dictator. He infiltrates a Globalist thinktank and begins his irreverent speech - what could go wrong? Will this be the beginning of Smithskis New REALLY GOOD Utopia? Or will the

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00:08:47

Ep. 45 The Earthly Plague of Mediocretus

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/09/24

This is the True Story Of Those Many Locations Of Spiritual Darkness. The Small Towns In Spirit That Congeal In Too Many Places Throughout The Cosmos. You may recognise this story on a personal level. Yes, Evil Exists In this World & The Your Job Is To Smile Through The Storm. This episode is also available as a blog post: https://martinantonsmithart.wordpress.com/2022/09/24/the-earthly-plague-of-mediocretus/

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00:15:35

Ep.44 "Women are Warlords On Ice (Just Waiting For A...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/09/20

Another Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap episode! Save your rotten vegetables up for this one! Throw 'em at the screen! We have two Poems: "Woman Are Warlords.." and "Saint Joe the Neurotypical". Please feel free to print this episode out & exchange for some Horse-Sh*t and your local Farm, at current exchange rates one of my poems is worth 3 bags of Horse- Shit. When you give the Poem to the Farmer simply say "yes sir no sir three bags full sir". Upon receiving the bags of shite - simply go to your

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00:05:23

Ep. 43 The Fabricator Vs The Engineer Vs The Physicist.

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/08/21

Oh no, another poem - but as Windsor Davies once said to Gloria "Oh Dear How Sad - Never Mind". This is only 5 Mins Long so much like a Ramones song - if you don't like it will be over soon - and you can go back to your favourite pastime - the joy of teaching your great great grandma how to suck eggs (hmmm that sounds like a new Poem). See ya on the flipside or the 'already flipped' side - whichever way the flapjack crumbles. This episode is also available as a blog post:

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00:03:02

Ep 42. "Analog Ernie Finally Goes Digital" (A Poem)

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/07/14

I'm back to ruin you day again! Oh well at least my poetry is better than a slap in the face with a dry bus ticket - I say 'dry bus ticket' because of course, a 'slap with a wet bus ticket' I cannot possibly compete with, especially on my limited budget. P.s. NZ poetry is better than Australian poetry, for obvious reasons - NZ poets are much poorer & colder - key positives for creativity. This is a quick one - only 3 minutes so enjoy my (soon to be) millions of fans around the world. This

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00:13:07

Ep. 41. “Marcel Atkins – The 22nd Century’s Rogue...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/05/22

Oh No! Another Episode! Batten down your hatches ! Wait why are you living in a Submarine! You should be living in a U-Boat - it's far more deadly and multi use! Get one off your local German, they have plenty! In this episode Marcel Atkins thinks back 2051 - when the Pleiadean's came to sort out Earth, to save them from the Neolib corrupt Political classes! - This episode is also available as a blog post:

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00:10:42

Ep. 40. 3 Poems ” A Confusing Day”/”Feminine...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/05/21

This Episode is a waste of your time, if foolishly you listen to it you will be saying in 10 minutes time "I'll never get those 10 minutes back". But if you are a masochist, you will LOVE this episode....you can listen to it and hate yourself for doing it - everyone wins (especially if you have multiple personality disorder). Good luck , and I apologise for this silliness, I am a traitor to NZ!!! A New Zealander should never attempt to do anything other than try to climb Mt Everest or Score a Try Or

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00:19:07

Ep. 39. “The Unseen Seeds of Creation” (A Short Story...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/04/14

If you hate yourself very, very much - you will love this episode. But first prepare properly! Smear peanut butter & jelly on yourself first, then jump into an eiderdown. For the moment, you can now press play on your device. After the episode is over, get out of the eiderdown and walk down the main street of your small-town all the while making loud rooster sounds. When someone stops you and says "My dear boy has someone tarred and feathered you again" you can respond and say "No old timer,

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00:28:30

Ep. 38. 4 New Poems “Zen & the Art of Not Making...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/03/12

I've been productive and have been writing many new thoughts to annoy you with. So enjoy the misery and tune in! The Poems are: “Zen & the Art of Not Making Nukes”/”Claptrap The Monkey”/”Modern Woman”/ “SoldierSharesin WW3”. I also have a good old chat about the world and where we find ourselves.....i.e in DEEP DOODOO. Perhaps Biden should just say "Yep We Are In Deep Doodoo" and then slink off to his basement and suck his thumb while reading old 'Duck Tales' comics - clearly that would be the

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00:11:34

Ep. 37 Three Dystopian Sci-Fi Poems – “Future’s...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/02/04

These are 3 poems that are of a similar theme - "Will The World Blow Up in 60 nano Seconds". Hopefully it won't and you will have time to enjoy this ridiculousness that hopefully at least increases my ability to write, and perhaps adds a few words to your vocab. But then perhaps it's better than I think? Hopefully so, and hopefully the ideas will help finish future works. But hey "In 100 years who will care". I love that saying. Enjoy this short reading and thank you for your time. Hello to those in

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00:17:30

Ep. 36 The War of “23-“39" / "How I Escaped my UNiT...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2022/01/06

Oh no...I'm back. Sorry You can't hide, this episode is being used by the World Totalitarian Govts as torture, so you spill those beans you've been hiding. In this episode I read The War of “23-“39 / How I Escaped my UNiT in the UnCity (1 Poem /1 Short Story ) with a short intro. Sayanara suckers! This episode is also available as a blog post: https://martinantonsmithart.wordpress.com/2022/01/06/the-war-of-23-39-how-i-escaped-my-unit-in-the-uncity-1-poem-1-short-story/ Donate via

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00:13:15

Ep. 35 Podcast Episode: “Big Mal Evans – The Beatles...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/12/13

Here is a Poem about Mal Evans! Big Mal was a lovely guy who through some twist of fate ended up in the whirlwind that was the Beatles recording and preforming years. Did he survive those years? Is he still Alive? Is he long gone? Did he say to Ringo "My Giant Schnoz is bigger and more shapely than yours"? Listen to find out! Or you could do something else, it's ok I don't mind, no no it's fine go and read that book, go and pat that cat, go and cook that bird! Oh that reminds me - Merry Xmas to one

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00:17:24

Ep. 34 “Boomer’s Lake” A Short Story/Speech/Poem...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/11/21

This episode is about Bad Boomers and how they will meet their inevitable downfall. If you are not a mean Boomer you should definitely listen to this. And if you are a mean Boomer.....well, stop being so fricken destructive ya Nimrod! - and thus, perhaps you can regain your soul. This episode is brought to you by "Nunofyastinkyafool" the anti-boomer-deodorant spray available now at all good stores. This episode is also available as a blog post:

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00:07:40

Ep. 33 “The Seagull at The Window Pane”/‘To Ypres...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/10/23

Two short Poems “The Seagull at The Window Paine”/‘To Ypres 1915, From 2021’ and a special introduction which talks of the double problem problem of citizens not having an appreciation of history and being a-political. Note the podcast has been widened in scope and in future will have more non-poetry content of a philosophical and social commentary nature. Enjoy! This episode is also available as a blog post:

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00:04:51

Ep. 32 "Hey You, Get Offa My Leaf Cloud" - A Short...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/09/12

A Poem about not just putting caution to the wind, but putting your bike in it with yourself on the seat. Enjoy! This episode is also available as a blog post: https://martinantonsmithart.wordpress.com/2021/09/12/thats-a-biken-ride/ Donate via paypal.me/mrschmitzo Buy Tee Shirt/Hoodie via tee.pub/lic/E3FoSW19gOg Follow on Twitter @MrSchmitzo Follow on Facebook: www.facebook.com/MrSchmitzo

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00:10:51

Ep. 31 My 2 New Poems – “Somewhere's Nowhere” &...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/08/21

In This Episode I read two new Poems “Somewhere's Nowhere” & “Sugar low Cat”. I wrote these in lightning speed after consuming a full days coverage of the unfolding terrible real life drama of the US withdrawal from Kabul in Afghanistan. I think unintentionally some of the universal themes that surround that (soon to be infamous) day came out in the first poem. The second Poem is about my leaping Cat! Enjoy these poems and have a great day - wherever you are. This episode is also available as a

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00:09:02

Ep. 30 “Adventures at Doctors Point in Winter” (A...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/07/31

This is a Poem I wrote today. It is kind of a sequel to a prior poem "Adventures At Doctor's Point In Summer" (which was also featured on a prior podcast). This poem was written in only a couple of hours and features some of my philosophical thoughts as well as simple descriptions of life matters. I hope you enjoy and find some common ground. This episode is also available as a blog post: https://martinantonsmithart.wordpress.com/2021/07/31/adventures-at-doctors-point-in-winter/ Donate via

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00:17:57

Ep. 29 Special Episode: I Blindly Point at Stuff in...

The Baby Wants Its Bottle Philosophy & Poetry Inc. ·

2021/07/22

Ok Ok I was bored and slightly blue due to the bad winter weather here in NZ so I wanted to create a fun meaningless episode. This was good as I am now feeling a lot better. So Enjoy this whimsical episode.....if you dare ....if you are a time waster with nothing better to do.....and your expectations are "Mariana trench low" you will really dig this episode (sorry thats a 1970's line isn't it..well I was born in the 70's). Donate via paypal.me/mrschmitzo Buy Tee Shirt/Hoodie via

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