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PODCAST

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get

comedy

All Episodes

00:39:09

Dairy Princess Meet and Greet (I Lived It) - Trail...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/10/13

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose innocent caffeine fix turned into a lifelong core memory of shame, a camper who gave birth to a celebrity, and became the reluctant face of dairy in her county, and t truly scary story about a camper whose weekend retreat became the reason she’ll never rent a cabin again. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! SPONSORS ➜ Talk it out, with

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01:07:16

155 - Your Soaking Wet Dog Jumped On Me Twice

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/10/08

In this episode, we wander off the beaten path. Literally. We are sharing highly important stories about finding hidden forest trails and why being in the woods feels like our ultimate happy place... until three soaking-wet off-leash mongrel ran straight out of a river and tackled Zach mid-hike. Natr'lly, then this episode takes a turn with a teacher arrested for a fart-spray prank, a bizarre kindergarten art heist in Australia, and the unsinkable Geoffrey Giraffe and the comeback of Toys “R” Us

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00:37:04

My Haunted Zucchini Bread - Trail Mix #104

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/10/06

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who found out book clubs aren’t always about books, a camper who brought home more than bargain from the thrift store, and a camper stuck in a Girl Scout Final Destination moment.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! SPONSORS ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP ➜ Bring your A-game and talk

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01:16:45

154 - From Sisters to Shih Tzus

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/10/01

Let's get LOUUUUUUD! (scream it like j-lo hosting a cruise pool party) This week at Camp Shady Birch, things are getting louudddd. (ok im done lol) We kick things off with a hella overstimulating dining experience. Then, like your stomach after too much custard, the energy shifts as we follow the unbelievable story of three nuns on the run. The of course there is the sweetest story of Chewy, a nasty little shih tzu with a big personality who’s found his forever home bringing joy to the residents of

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00:31:30

EXPOSING a Her Cheating Husband - Trail Mix #103

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/29

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who just wants one-on-one time with her best friend, but keeps finding the girlfriend tagging along, a camper who turned Facebook sleuthing into a full-blown wedding exposé, and a truly scary story about a camper’s mom who woke up in the middle of the night to sounds coming from down the hall. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! SPONSORS ➜ Tear. Pour

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01:09:30

153 - Actually, This is My First Rodeo

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/24

Saddle up, campers!! We went to our first rodeo, yall! In this episode, we dive deep into the wild wild world of bull riding. Bedazzled cowboy hats, cowgirls doin the ole do-see-do, and not a single funnel cake in sight.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every

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00:37:42

Post-Shave Coochie Itch - Trail Mix #102

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/22

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose birthday gift to a frat boy was pure humiliation, a camper who is scarred from her time at Spa Camp, and a camper who took a hike and lost a little piece of their dignity.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist |

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01:06:04

152 - The Social Experiment we call LIFE

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/17

This week at camp, we came face to face with something we feared... our parents meeting for the first time ever. We also rediscovered some love for the lost art of digestifs, and Zachariah shares what it’s really been like since he quit vaping. Then we hear a tale of an old woman in love with an astronaut, a server who rescued a raccoon mid-shift, ranted about overly complicated makeup tutorials, and aired out the absolute LOSERS who are adamant about keeping the shades on airplanes closed... LOVE

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00:32:36

Confessions of A Foam-Head Felon - Trail Mix #101

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/15

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who floated down a river and straight into HR trouble, a camper with a little critter in her car (and things are getting worse), and a tale of turning heartbreak into a halftime show.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. Check out our website and

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01:10:36

151 - Accidentally in the Disney World Staff Parking Lot

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/10

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details. ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance. Works Cited: ➜ Sheena

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01:09:41

I Found My Friend’s Wife on NSFW Reddit - Trail Mix #100

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/08

THE 100th EPISODE OF TRAIL MIX?! Thank you for letting us share your stories. Camp Shady Birch wouldn’t be the same without the chaos you campers have brought to these ole bags of Trail Mix. In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who went to the grocery store for bread, and left with the fallout from her own mother's meltdown, a camper who proved the pen is mightier than the sword (and the attendance sheet is deadlier than detention), and a camper who was

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01:07:07

150 - Saké Super Soakers & Behaving Badly

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/03

This week at camp, we’re unpacking our trip to a bachelorette weekend in the Poconos. It was a getaway that came with a side of E. coli, and the cherry on top was a full-blown public bridal party screaming match. Somehow, the chaos segues (yes thats how you spell it i think...) into cars. A favorite mode of transportation here at camp! Jonathan’s questionable driving skills, our unsolicited TED Talk on roundabouts, and a Romeo and Juliet production performed entirely with trucks and construction

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00:36:02

Non-Refrigerated Cheese - Trail Mix #99

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/09/01

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who walked into the OBGYN dressed as Thing 1 (and things only got freakier from there), a savory body shot no one asked for, and a camper who accidentally serenaded two priests with a pop-punk FREAKY anthem. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜

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01:15:06

149 - Four Guys, One Room

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/27

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance. ➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A

en

00:33:48

I Broke Into Her House... And She Was Home - Trail...

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/25

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who signed up to nanny in a mansion, but ended up working at Goodwill, a camper breaking and entering in the name of love, and a haunting in the snack aisle. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off,

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01:06:15

148 - Influencers Love It... We Don't.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/20

In this episode, Counselor Zachariah checks into the infirmary cabin, then begins screaming Nickelback in the woods while Jonathan recites the heavy award-winning scene form the hit 2019 musical, Marriage Story.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Go to Progressive.com to

en

00:31:30

Catfishing My Bestie's Boyfriend - Trail Mix #97

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/18

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper caught between family bonding and bladder betrayal, a dream date that capsized, and the tale of a camper who kind of catfished her best friend’s boyfriend.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP Check out our

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01:04:59

147 - Termites Are Eating Our House

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/13

This episode almost didn't go out because the termites ate most of it!! Rest assured, Sammich handled it... he is resting now in the infirmary cabin.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance. ➜ Score sizzling summer

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00:29:43

Wet T-Shirt Contest Fugitive - Trail Mix #96

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/11

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper dodging drunken baby fever, a camper who went from a wet t-shirt contest to fugitive in 30 seconds, and a camper's disturbing midnight snack confession. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Sponsors: ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP Check out our website

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00:59:01

146 - Freaky Buffalo Babies

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan... ·

2025/08/06

Pack your bags, campers. We are taking you to Buffalo, New York! In this episode we share all the wild details from Zachariah’s live show stop in Buffalo, including our pilgrimage to the restaurant where buffalo wings were invented. YES HONEY ZACH WENT DOWN TO THE BONE! Then we visited Niagara Falls. No biggie. Then we get into the bizarre news story about Chuck E. Cheese getting arrested, and the major impact a small vase of fresh flowers in a room can make. This episode was mixed and edited by

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