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PODCAST

How To Deal

Attachment Nerd

How To Deal is the podcast for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy kids in a world full of messy moments. Therapist and bestselling author Eli Harwood (aka The Attachment Nerd) brings you real stories, expert advice, and practical tools to build stronger relationships with your children—and yourself. Attachmentnerd.com

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

32:39

#41 How to Deal with Childhood Wounds | With Galit Atlas

How To Deal ·

2026/10/02

]Why can it feel easier to understand everyone else than to let yourself be known? Eli Harwood joins psychoanalyst Dr. Galit Atlas to explore how childhood experiences can shape the ways we seek closeness, protect ourselves, and care for other people.Drawing on Galit's book Come Closer, they focus on three of its six childhood patterns: the invisible child, the chosen child, and the ashamed child. Eli reflects on her own experiences as they discuss emotional caretaking, the pressure to keep a parent

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37:38

#40 When a Partner Isn’t on Board with Connection...

How To Deal ·

2026/09/25

What do you do when you want to parent through connection and your partner keeps reaching for control? Eli talks with Kyle and Sara Wester about the years when they were on different pages, the moment Kyle began to rethink discipline, and the daily conversations that helped them build a shared approach.They explore the fear underneath controlling parenting, how to support a partner without taking over, and what mutual respect looks like with teenagers. Their stories make room for imperfect moments,

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14:29

#39 Nerd Notes | Victim Mentality vs. Real Harm

How To Deal ·

2026/09/18

In this solo episode, Eli dives into one of the most nuanced — and most needed — conversations in the world of relational health: the difference between genuinely being victimized and holding a victim mentality. With warmth and clarity, Eli walks you through the key markers of each, why abusive people often claim victim status, and why asking this question of yourself is actually a sign of health, not weakness.Key TakeawaysBeing victimized and having a victim mentality are not the same thing — and

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33:16

#38 How to Deal with Raising Conscious Sons and...

How To Deal ·

2026/09/14

Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Columbia-trained clinical psychologist and multiple NYT bestselling author, joins Eli to discuss her groundbreaking new companion books: Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters. Together they unpack the unique, gender-specific wounds our children carry — and what conscious parents can do to protect and restore their children's authentic selves.Key TakeawaysBoys can only become empathic and vulnerable when they are first allowed to accept their own imperfections —

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29:52

#37 How to Feel Worthy | With Dr. Marisa G. Franco

How To Deal ·

2026/09/04

What if feeling unworthy isn't a flaw — it's a memory? In this deeply moving episode, Eli sits down with NYT bestselling psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco to unpack the science of self-worth: where it comes from, why it gets stuck, and how you can actually change it. From memory reconsolidation and inner child healing to attunement, identity, and the power of community, this conversation is a must-listen for anyone breaking generational cycles.Key Takeaways• Worthiness = treating your internal world

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39:23

#36 How to Deal with The Mental Load | With Eve Rodsky

How To Deal ·

2026/08/29

Eli sits down with Eve Rodsky — Harvard-trained lawyer, NYT bestselling author, and founder of the Fair Play movement — to dig into the invisible crisis hiding in most partnerships: the unequal mental load. From the blueberries text that changed everything to a card system now translated into 27 languages, Eve shares why fairness in the home isn't just a relationship issue — it's a systemic one. This is a must-listen for anyone who has ever thought, "Why am I the only one who notices what needs to

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28:06

#35 How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity | With Dr....

How To Deal ·

2026/08/21

Eli sits down with board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD specialist Dr. Sasha Hamdani to unpack one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Together they explore the neuroscience behind why some of us feel rejection so intensely — and why that sensitivity might actually be a gift. Dr. Hamdani also shares personal stories and practical tools from her upcoming book, Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply.Key TakeawaysRSD is

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25:44

Teaching Kids Self-Trust in a Manipulative World |...

How To Deal ·

2026/08/15

In this episode, Eli sits down with Dr. Naaila Chagani (Hudani), a child development specialist with a PhD from Tufts University, to explore the concept of "heart safety" — teaching children that their inner emotional world belongs to them and cannot be rearranged by someone else. Drawing from both personal lived experience as a bonus mom and rigorous research, Dr. Naaila shares a compassionate, nuanced framework for helping kids recognize emotionally manipulative behaviors, trust their own

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21:38

#33 Nerd Notes | Co-Regulating with Our...

How To Deal ·

2026/08/07

In this solo episode, Eli Harwood (the Attachment Nerd) unpacks one of the most misunderstood intersections in modern parenting: raising a neurodivergent child while trying to break generational cycles. With personal stories from parenting her own AuDHD daughter, Eli walks through the full sensory landscape — including the three "hidden" senses — and explains how to adapt secure attachment practices to meet your neurodiverse child where they actually are.Key TakeawaysNeurodivergent kids experience

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40:49

#32 How to Deal with a Spicy One | With Mary Van Geffen

How To Deal ·

2026/07/31

Episode SummaryEli sits down with international parenting coach and author Mary Van Geffen to talk about raising "spicy ones" — those intense, strong-willed, wonderfully complex children who need more than most parenting books can offer. Together they unpack what it means to be the parent of a spicy child, how our own childhood wounds get triggered by these kids, and what it actually looks like in the messy, real moments to stay regulated and connected.Key TakeawaysA "spicy one" is a child who is

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24:44

How To Use Play To Set Limits and Boundaries | With...

How To Deal ·

2026/07/24

How to Deal with Parenting Through Play | Dr. Kim Van DusenEpisode SummaryWhat if the secret to fewer tantrums, less mealtime drama, and a deeper connection with your kids wasn't stricter rules — but more play? In this episode, Eli sits down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and registered play therapist known as The Parentologist, to talk about how to weave playfulness into the everyday moments of parenting — even if you don't think you have a playful bone in your

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32:26

How to Deal with Feeling | With Dr. Marc Brackett

How To Deal ·

2026/07/17

Episode SummaryEli Harwood sits down with Dr. Marc Brackett — founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and bestselling author — to tackle one of modern parenting's biggest challenges: how do we raise emotionally intelligent kids when most of us never received an emotion education ourselves? Marc shares the science behind his RULER framework, why "there is no such thing as a bad emotion," and the practical strategies every parent needs to start using today.Key

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31:44

How to Deal When Your Kids Are at Odds with Each...

How To Deal ·

2026/07/10

Episode SummaryIn this deeply personal and research-backed conversation, host Eli Harwood sits down with Dr. Laura Markham — clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com — to tackle one of the most exhausting realities of family life: sibling conflict. Together they explore what the research actually says about why siblings fight, what parents can do about it (and what they shouldn't), and how to raise kids who will genuinely like each other as adults. Eli

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23:07

How to Be Honest about Motherhood | With Libby Ward

How To Deal ·

2026/07/02

Episode SummaryEli sits down with Libby Ward — writer, speaker, and author of Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself — for a deeply honest conversation about what it costs mothers when they sacrifice themselves completely. Together they explore the myth of selfless motherhood, the reality of generational trauma, and why radical honesty — with yourself first — is where real change begins.Key TakeawaysYou were never meant to do this alone. Human beings evolved in community, not

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24:55

Navigating Marriage in the Parenting Years | With Eli...

How To Deal ·

2026/06/26

Episode SummaryTherapist, author, and host of The Dude Therapist podcast Eli Weinstein, LCSW joins the show to talk about one of the hardest (and least talked about) relationship challenges: staying connected to your partner while you're deep in the trenches of parenthood. Eli brings his signature no-BS warmth and humor to share real, actionable tools — including the "First On Scene" rule, the Huddle tactic, and how to tackle the invisible mental load — all drawn from his new book From I Do to We

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32:30

How to Deal with Sex Talks | With Kimberly Wolf

How To Deal ·

2026/06/19

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with sex educator and Harvard-trained expert Kimberly Wolf to tackle one of the most anxiety-producing topics in parenting: talking to your kids about sex, bodies, and healthy relationships. Kimberly brings a practical, shame-free, and deeply reassuring framework for parents at every stage — from toddlers to teens — with one clear message: you don't have to have all the answers. You just have to show up.Key TakeawaysStart with safety and practicality

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38:08

How to Deal with Feeling Disconnected from Your...

How To Deal ·

2026/06/13

Episode SummaryRelationship coach Morgan Burch joins Eli to unpack one of the most common — and most painful — dynamics in modern partnerships: the moment you need your partner most is exactly when neither of you has anything left to give. Together, they explore the "hero child" wound, why co-regulation matters more than date nights, and practical tools like the Mirror Game and the DIC Talk that can transform conflict into genuine connection.Key TakeawaysThe Parenthood Paradox: Both partners have

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25:26

How to Deal with Raising Secure Digital Citizens |...

How To Deal ·

2026/06/06

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Danish parenting expert and bestselling author Jessica Joelle Alexander to tackle one of the most pressing questions facing parents today: how do we raise kids who are safe, healthy, and confident in the digital world — without resorting to fear, shame, or oversimplification? Jessica shares the Danish philosophy behind her work, the story of how she created the Raising Digital Citizens conversation cards, and why connection — not restriction — is

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45:23

Wired for Connection — 50 Years of Attachment...

How To Deal ·

2026/05/29

Episode SummaryIn this episode, host Eli Harwood sits down with Dr. L. Alan Sroufe — Professor Emeritus at the University of Minnesota and lead researcher of the landmark Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation — to unpack over 50 years of groundbreaking research on how early relationships shape who we become. From the origins of secure attachment to the surprising durability of worldviews formed in childhood, this conversation is a masterclass in what actually matters in parenting — and

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29:48

The Art and Science of Playful Parenting | With Mia...

How To Deal ·

2026/05/22

Episode SummaryWhat if the secret to surviving modern parenting chaos was something you were already born knowing how to do — play? In this warm, funny, and genuinely useful conversation, Eli sits down with Mia Wisinski, founder of Playful Heart Parenting, to explore how playfulness isn't just a "nice to have" — it's one of the most powerful tools we have for co-regulating our kids, building secure attachment, and staying sane ourselves. From silly power reversal games to what to do when you're

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