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PODCAST

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community

Welcome to The Ben & Jamesa Podcast, where we explore conversations about community.In each episode we challenge each other, and you the listener, to unlearn old patterns and build more compassionate, authentic connections in every area of life.If you"re new here, start with episode #137, “Start Here,” for an overview of our work and podcast. After that, dive into any episode that resonates with you as we break down how to move from control to genuine connection.

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All Episodes

45:15

Ep. 155: Jimmy Kimmel, Black Jobs, and Openhearted...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/09/24

Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel is back on air—but what about the 300,000+ Black women who have lost jobs since January 2025 and haven’t been given theirs back? In Part 4 of our Open-Hearted Living series, we hold space for this reality while also lifting up communities that are demonstrating what open-hearted living can look like in practice. From grassroots initiatives to workplaces and neighborhoods built on care and connection, we explore how people are building life-giving alternatives to a...

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43:53

Ep. 154: Do We Need to Have Empathy? (Openhearted...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/09/17

What does it mean to truly feel with someone else? In this episode of The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we explore empathy—not as a skill or a moral obligation, but as a living, sometimes fragile experience. We talk about how it grows across our lives, when it can feel heavy or conflicted, and how it connects—or sometimes fails to connect—to compassion. This episode is an invitation to notice your own experiences of empathy and to explore how connection shows up in both subtle and profound ways. Su...

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44:55

Ep. 153: Is Fear Black and White? | Openhearted...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/09/10

Fear isn’t always what it seems. In this episode, we explore real vs. imagined fear, how it shows up in our nervous system, and how identity shapes the fears we live with. Stories from our life in Portugal, recent headlines, and listener letters help guide a conversation on moving from fear to freedom and living more openheartedly. ✨ Practical takeaways for noticing and working with fear in your own life. Support the show

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41:16

Ep.152: Open-Hearted Living (and White Folks) – Part 1

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/09/03

In this episode, we explore why living with an open heart can feel impossible—especially for white folks—and what it might take to shift toward more connection, presence, and curiosity in daily life. We talk about: What it truly means to live open-heartedlyThe challenges whiteness and control culture create in staying openFear, vulnerability, and the tension between safety and opennessSmall, practical ways to practice open-heartedness at home and at workWe also share our nature fact of the we...

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43:58

Ep. 151: 5 Things Men Misunderstand About Love

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/08/27

Love isn’t just desire, provision, or possession—yet too often that’s what men are taught to believe. In this episode, we dive into 5 Things Men Don’t Understand About Love, drawing from the wisdom of bell hooks, James Baldwin, and John Makransky. We explore why love requires vulnerability, accountability, and daily practice—and why true love is always liberation, not control. This isn’t about shaming men, but about breaking free from harmful myths and discovering what real, connected love ca...

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46:42

Ep. 150: What is Control Culture

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/08/20

Control culture is everywhere—at work, in our relationships, even in how we treat ourselves. But what exactly is it, and how does it quietly shape the way we live, lead, and connect with others? In today’s episode, we unpack the hidden ways control culture shows up in our lives and explore what it looks like to move toward connection instead. This is the first step in learning how to build workplaces and communities that thrive on trust, accountability, and real humanity. 🎙️ The Ben and

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48:35

Ep. 149 Community as an Antidote to Whiteness, Pt. 4:...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/08/13

We’re continuing our series on community with a focus on our very first one—family. We’ll dig into the growing trend of adult estrangement, explore 4 common causes that fracture connection within families, and share 6 practical steps to begin rebuilding trust and closeness—no matter how old your children are. 🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection. → Join our Patreon for

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40:01

Ep. 148: Community as an Antidote to Whiteness, Part...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/08/06

What if our workplaces actually felt like community? In Part 3 of our series on community, we explore how the harmful patterns of whiteness and control show up in our work lives—and what it would take to build something more human. We talk about: 🌱 The 4 pillars of building real community at work 🏢 Examples of companies that run without bosses or hierarchy (yes, really) 🌲 Tree communities that pass down trauma wisdom across generations 🇵🇹 Honest reflections on parenting, Portuga...

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44:31

Ep, 147 Community as an Antidote to Whiteness Pt. 2:...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/07/30

In Part Two of Community as an Antidote to Whiteness, we name five common ways people unintentionally sabotage the very thing they say they want: community. From profit-chasing to power-seeking, avoidance of vulnerability to lack of accountability—and one surprise obstacle—we unpack how these patterns show up, why they’re rooted in whiteness and control culture, and what it takes to do something different. We also share a mushroom fact about root entanglement, reflect on our first year living...

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44:37

Ep. 146:Community, the Antidote to Whiteness – Part...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/07/16

What even is community—and how have whiteness and capitalism distorted our understanding of it? In this first episode of our new series, we explore how community has been replaced by performance, productivity, and transactions—and what it means to reclaim it as our birthright. From Trevor Noah’s critique of “buying” connection to our own stories of belonging and rupture, we’re asking the big question: You can’t build what you haven’t defined. So how do we begin? Support the show

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38:50

Ep. 145: The Great American Brain Drain

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/07/09

This week on The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we’re talking about what happens when some of America’s brightest minds decide they’ve had enough—and leave. We’re exploring the growing wave of academics and thinkers moving abroad, why it’s happening, and what it says about connection, control, and culture. We also share a few updates from our lives in Portugal, a new mushroom fact, and our recent brushes with stardom—from thoughtful conversations to unexpected spotlights. Let’s get into it. Support ...

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46:13

Ep. 144: Red, Whiteness & Blue: The Freedom Paradox

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/07/02

This Fourth of July, we’re unpacking the irony of a holiday built on freedom—while whiteness continues to rely on control. We explore how white people can move from control to connection using our CACTI model: Compassion, Accountability, Curiosity, Transparency, and Insight. Real freedom doesn’t come from dominance—it comes from unlearning. We’re also talking about tree shyness—yes, it’s a real thing—and the wild experience of watching airplanes land at Madeira’s famously intense airport. Com...

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43:55

Ep. 143: Why Do White People Love Violence?

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/06/25

This week, we explore how violence—whether in relationships, policing, or foreign policy—is normalized and often celebrated in white American culture. Drawing from our experience in domestic violence work, we unpack how control, blame, and force show up not just interpersonally but systemically. We also respond to a listener’s discomfort with the idea of Black joy, revealing how even joy can be seen as a threat within a culture built on control. Plus: a São João festival story and a sleepy fu...

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48:11

Ep. 142 Why Do White People Hate Black Joy?

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/06/18

In this episode, we dig into the discomfort, resentment, and backlash that often show up when Black joy takes center stage—especially around holidays like Juneteenth. We explore why white supremacy depends on Black suffering, how joy becomes an act of resistance, and what it reveals about white identity when that joy is met with hostility. Jamesa shares personal stories, we unpack current headlines, and yes—there’s even a mushroom fact. Support the show

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51:46

Ep. 141: Shit I Have A Problem With (Ft. Eckoes)

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/06/11

This week, we’re joined by the brilliant Eckoes, creator behind one of our favorite social media accounts, Shit I Have a Problem With. We get into what it actually means to have a problem with something — and how to do it in a way that doesn’t just center your ego or shut the whole thing down. We talk about why discomfort isn’t the enemy, how calling something out can still leave room for connection, and why the goal isn’t to always be agreeable — it’s to be real. We also reflect on Portugal’...

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44:34

Ep. 140: Calm the "F" Down

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/06/04

In this episode, we dive into the four F’s—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—and how these survival responses can derail us from doing the right thing, especially in moments that call for courage, clarity, or connection. We unpack how these patterns show up in leadership, relationships, and everyday life—and share practical ways to navigate them more effectively. And of course, we sprinkle in real stories from our life here in Portugal—because healing and humor go hand in hand. Support the show

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42:14

Ep. 139: Hiding Control in Virtuous Language

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/05/28

What do phrases like “pro-life,” “law and order,” and “family values” have in common? They sound virtuous—but they’re often just control, dressed up as morality. In this episode, Ben and Jamesa—coming to you from our life here in Portugal—unpack how language that sounds good on the surface can actually be a tool for domination, silence, and harm. We explore how these phrases shape everything from public policy to workplace culture, and how control often hides behind ideas that seem unassailab...

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40:11

Ep. 138: Do White People Hate Racism Enough?

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/05/21

We hear it all the time: “Of course I hate racism.” But when we start looking a little deeper — into silence, avoidance, who we protect, and what we’re willing to give up — the picture gets murkier. In this episode, we’re talking honestly about the gap between intention and impact when it comes to anti-racism. We get into: Why it’s easier to say the right thing than to live differentlyHow control, comfort, and avoidance keep racism aliveWhat the recent Google discrimination lawsuit tells us ...

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31:37

Ep. 137: Start With This Episode (and Black Fatigue)

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/05/14

If you’ve ever wondered where to begin with this podcast, this is the one. In our season 9 opener, we bring you into the heart of our work: building a community rooted in letting go of control and choosing connection. We explore the recent Portuguese elections—how voting works here, what’s at stake, and how it all contrasts with the U.S. political system. Then we dig into something heavier: Black Fatigue. A term originally created to describe the long-term physical and emotional toll of racis...

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46:09

Ep. 136: Why Do White People Have No Empathy For...

The Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Conversations About Community ·

2025/05/07

In this episode, we dive into the viral video of a white woman calling a Black child the N-word—and the jaw-dropping fact that she made over $600K in donations afterward. We unpack what this says about whiteness, dehumanization, and the selective empathy that shields white perpetrators while abandoning Black children. We also talk about the staggering global indifference to the suffering of children in Gaza and the disturbing patterns in white responses to harm—especially when the victims a...

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156 results

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