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PODCAST

Relationship Dish

Iona Monk / Pam Stewert

Ever wonder what your therapist"s own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice "walking our own talk" as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner

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All Episodes

01:01:33

ep 129 / 10 Ways to Keep Love Alive: Season Finale...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/09/24

It’s the Relationship Dish season finale—and Pam and Iona are closing things out with their top 10 best tips for building and maintaining a healthy, connected romantic relationship. From repairing after a rupture to setting boundaries, from learning to share your deepest feelings to finding joy and fun together, they cover the core practices that make love last. Along the way, they get real about the traps that sabotage intimacy—ego, assumptions, and unspoken resentments—and the small shifts that

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52:18

ep 128 / Ego vs. Intimacy: What’s Really Getting in...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/09/10

Are you feeding your ego—or your intimacy? In this thought-provoking episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the subtle but powerful forces that quietly sabotage closeness in relationships. Drawing on ideas from David Burns’s Feeling Good Handbook, they explore how conflict, blame, defensiveness, self-pity, and the need to be “right” can feel addictive—meeting hidden cravings for power, superiority, or even adrenaline—while pushing true intimacy further away. Iona gets candid about how her

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51:40

ep 127 / The Power of “We”: Balancing Togetherness...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/08/27

What does it really mean to be a we in a relationship—and how do you balance it with your own I? In this insightful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dig into the delicate art of collaboration, compromise, and connection. Iona shares how therapy (and a lot of practice) helped her have a wonderful holiday trip with her husband—addressing bumps in the road through true partnership and communication. Meanwhile, Pam reflects on her past marriage, where two I's gradually grew apart instead of

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01:02:23

ep 126 / Making It Right: How to Repair After a...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/07/23

Fights happen, but what really matters is what comes next. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the often-missed art of repair—the intentional process of healing after conflict. Whether you grew up in a home where repair was modeled or swept under the rug, chances are no one taught you how to do it well. From repeating old parent/child dynamics to the all-too-human urge to “make them suffer” before softening, Iona shares a personal story of how her early

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55:17

ep 125 / Can This Relationship Be Saved? What Couples...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/07/09

Thinking about couples therapy? Wondering if it can really fix what's broken—or if you're just signing up for weekly battles on a therapist’s couch? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona pull back the curtain on what actually happens in couples therapy, what brings most couples through the door, and why it only works if both partners are willing to show up—messy feelings and all. They share revealing stories of clients who sabotaged the process by refusing to take responsibility (hello,

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01:06:15

ep 124 / The Boundary Breakdown: What’s Really...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/06/25

We all say we want healthy boundaries—but actually setting them? That’s where things get messy. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona go beyond the surface-level how-to's and explore the deeper emotional blocks that keep so many of us stuck in people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and silent resentment. They share personal stories of how their childhoods shaped their boundary struggles—from families that labeled limits as “unloving” to patterns of emotional neglect and

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40:26

ep 123 / Fun Is Not a Luxury: Why Joy Is Essential in...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/06/11

Sure, you’ve done the hard work—therapy, repair, tough conversations. But now what? In this feel-good episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into something couples often forget to prioritize: fun. From day trips to date nights, puzzles to pub nights, they explore how joy acts as a deposit in your relationship bank account—and why it’s crucial for long-term connection. Pam shares honestly about the lack of joy in her past relationship and what lights her up now, while Iona talks about

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51:03

ep 122 / Sorry Not Sorry: The Courage (and Craft) of...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/05/28

What does a real apology sound like—and why is it so damn hard to get one? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into the delicate art of apologizing. After Iona arrives very late to the recording, she offers a genuine, no-excuses apology—and it sparks a deeper conversation about how we repair emotional ruptures in relationships. They explore the difference between heartfelt accountability and hollow placation, why calling someone “too sensitive” doesn’t count, and how many of us

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47:36

ep 121 / Is Your Relationship Haunted by Ghosts of...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/05/14

Ever feel like you’re arguing with your partner’s past self—or like they’re stuck seeing you as who you used to be? In this candid and insightful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the “ghosts” that haunt our relationships—old dynamics, traumas, and one-dimensional perceptions that get projected onto our partners and shape how we relate. From confirmation bias to emotional overfunctioning, they unpack how unresolved experiences (from childhood and from earlier stages of the

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53:25

ep 120 / Making Peace with Anger (Without Exploding)

Relationship Dish ·

2025/05/01

In this episode, Pam and Iona unpack how childhood experiences with explosive anger shaped their adult relationships—and their own relationship with anger. From avoiding conflict to striving for perfection, they explore what happens when we bury our feelings to keep the peace, and how that can backfire. With honesty and humor, they show how learning to sit with emotions like annoyance can lead to healthier, more direct communication. Because as Iona says, “Anger doesn’t have to look like your

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49:07

ep 119 / Who Are You Showing Up As—Parent, Child, or...

Relationship Dish ·

2025/04/16

In this episode, Iona and Pam dig into the powerful dynamics of over- and under-compensating in relationships and how these patterns often reflect parent-child ego states. Drawing from personal stories and therapeutic insights, they explore how mindfulness, validation, and understanding our triggers can help us shift into an adult state—where real intimacy and connection can thrive. Whether it's soothing your nervous system or showing appreciation in playful ways, it all starts with noticing how

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44:28

ep 118 / Childhood Wounds in Adult Relationships

Relationship Dish ·

2025/04/02

Do your childhood wounds still have a seat at the table in your relationships? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into how early emotional experiences shape our adult love lives—often in ways we don’t realize. They explore how childhood traumas, attachment wounds, and subconscious patterns can lead to conflict, insecurity, or emotional distance. Tune in for insights on recognizing these patterns and, most importantly, how to heal them to create healthier, more fulfilling

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50:32

ep 117 / Face Your Feelings

Relationship Dish ·

2025/03/19

In this episode, therapists Iona and Pam explore how facing—and honoring—your feelings is the key to clear communication and successful negotiation in relationships. They discuss why recognizing and processing emotions, rather than avoiding them, leads to deeper understanding, stronger connections, and more meaningful conversations. Tune in to learn how embracing your emotions can transform the way you relate to others.

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55:28

ep 116 / Is It Possible to Have an Amicable Divorce?

Relationship Dish ·

2025/03/05

This week, Iona and Pam dish about whether or not it's possible to have an amicable divorce or breakup. What if only one of you wants to end the relationship? What if you have kids? What if those kids are still young, and your ex brings a new partner into the family? If you're thinking about—or maybe even in the midst of—a divorce and hoping for minimal damage, this episode is for you.

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01:00:10

ep 115 / You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling—What Now?

Relationship Dish ·

2025/02/20

Iona and Pam dish about what people really mean when they say that they've "fallen out of love" with their partner. It can sound so nebulous, scary, and final, and no one really knows how to deal with it! This week, the therapists dig into the logistics of what that statement really means and what to do to avoid it altogether in a relationship. They also destigmatize the phrase so listeners can understand it and deal with it in helpful ways that can actually bring back that lovin' feeling. Both

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46:36

ep 114 / Are You Overriding Your Instincts?

Relationship Dish ·

2025/01/15

Are you overriding your instincts—and potentially putting your safety in jeopardy—to make others feel comfortable? Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive into their personal experiences with feeling unsafe and vulnerable as women. The conversation explores how their childhood experiences of feeling powerless and voiceless have impacted their ability to assert themselves in potentially dangerous situations as adults. Pam and Iona also discuss how the societal pressure for women to be

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01:05:24

ep 113 / What Are You Afraid Of?

Relationship Dish ·

2025/01/01

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about their fears and vulnerabilities. Pam shares that she struggles with a fear of humiliation, especially related to her intelligence and competence. She recounts past experiences of being publicly embarrassed as a child, which have shaped her tendency to avoid vulnerability in order to protect her self-worth. Iona talks about how negative occurrences ignite her fear of everything falling apart or disappearing—and how our childhood experiences

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44:34

ep 112 / Dating with Differences

Relationship Dish ·

2024/12/18

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating the differences between you and your partner. How alike—or unalike—can you be in a successful relationship? And can shared values overcome opposing political views? What if you’re raising kids together? Pam and Iona explore how differences in upbringing, personality, and life experiences can impact your relationship. They emphasize the significance of respect, curiosity, and commitment to resolving conflicts, and agree that values

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55:34

ep 111 / Navigating Life Transitions

Relationship Dish ·

2024/12/04

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about navigating life transitions. Iona shares her personal experiences with her daughter's departure to university and its impact on her relationship. Pam opens up about her journey through dating and the lessons she's learned about attachment and intimacy as she navigates her own transitions.

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06:37

ep 110 / Quick TIP Creating Positive Cycles

Relationship Dish ·

2020/03/25

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5. We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

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