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PODCAST

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

The comedy podcast where four long suffering friends dissect film’s most dastardly schemes, and then compete to improve those diabolical plans. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

tv & film film reviews

All Episodes

01:10:44

Episode 32: The League Of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/02/06

“Is homunculus a verb?” Wandering absent mindedly into a local shop, the panel of peril become quite concerned as one of the proprietors begins to strip naked whilst the other rants at them about having been in a war. They are summarily tied to a stake and told to watch this week’s film The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse (Steve Bendelack, 2005). World’s collide as The League of Gentlemen (Mark Gatiss, Reece Shearsmith, Steve Pemberton) are confronted by their own creations from two fictional

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01:01:39

Episode 31: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/01/30

“Once women everywhere are empowered, it would be time to bring in the rent boys” One by one the panel of peril change up their weapon set as they engage in a life or death four way dual, as they smash and slice each armament to pieces in turn. The only thing that breaks their furious combat is a swift two hour viewing of this week’s film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000). Jade Fox (Cheng Pei-pei) is a woman with a grudge against Wudan. And it just so happens that she and her

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01:03:00

Episode 30: The Simpsons Movie

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/01/23

“Doesn’t matter, badgers are infinite” The panel of peril all arrive home at the same time, Craig narrowly avoiding being run over by Gaz pulling his car into the garage, and dive onto their couch (and then something funny happens). Then they stick on this week’s film, The Simpsons Movie (David Silverman, 2007). Springfield has become the most polluted town in the US and special measures will have to be taken. Head of the EPA, Russ Cargill (A. Brooks) decides that the best course of action is to

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01:02:22

Episode 29: Alien

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/01/16

“I’d feel vulnerable in little pants and a vest” The panel of peril wake up from hypersleep (normal sleep really), cough for absolutely ages, have a quick brekkie, and stick on Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic Alien. The Nostromo mining ship is on its return journey to Earth when it intercepts a distress beacon form LV 426. But Dallas (Tom Skerritt), Brett (Harry Dean Stanton), Parker (Yaphet Kotto) and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) find more than they bargained for on the planet’s surface. In space no one

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01:30:09

Episode 28: The Dark Knight

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/01/09

“We had a wonderful conversation. Please don’t print it in the newspapers that I got mad” The panel of peril sanitise their hands, walk out of the hospital that they’ve been visiting a badly burned acquaintance in, and thank the staff for all of their hard work. Because we support the NHS. And the Postal workers, heck all of Britain’s workforce! Once home, the panel grab a glass of blackcurrant squash and turn on this week’s film The Dark Knight (2008). Bruce Wayne/Batman (Christian Bale) believes

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01:01:49

Episode 27: Fantastic Mr. Fox

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2023/01/02

“Wes Anderson uses the power of symmetry to travel through time and space” The panel of peril square up to one another all of a sudden, snarl, and flap their arms around whilst saying things like “Cuss you!” “Cuss me! Cuss you.” Things soon de-escalate though, they are friends after all, and they take a pew to watch Wes Anderson’s Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mister Fox (2009). Foxy (George Clooney) is an animal who has it all; a beautiful wife (Felicity voiced by Meryl Streep), smart son (Ash voiced by

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01:07:03

Episode 26: Home Alone

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/12/26

“Well, you’ve blown my toy” The panel of peril run screaming around the house like a bunch of absolute little monsters amongst an army of siblings and extended family. It is, to be honest, an absolute nightmare. Fortunately they have the respite of settling in to watch a Boxing Day treat in the form of 1990’s Home Alone! Kevin McCallister (Macauley Culkin) is just an ordinary kid: he likes plain pizza, leaving toys laying around all over the shop, and not having to sleep in the same space as bed

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01:05:41

Episode 25: Die Hard

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/12/19

“Breaking her down mentally,” “Like Craig does with porridge” The panel of peril arrive for their annual Christmas party, meet the office coke fiend, argue with their estranged wife, and then settle in to watch the first of our Christmas films of the year: John McTiernan’s 1988 classic Die Hard. John McClane (Bruce Willis) is a New York cop visiting his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) at her work’s Christmas party in wacky Los Angeles. That party takes place at the beautiful Nakatomi Plaza,

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01:17:01

Episode 24: Avatar

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/12/12

“Give them a genetically engineered giant conker” The panel of peril awaken in their massive new blue alien bodies and go for a joyous run through a bioluminescent jungle before settling in to watch James Cameron’s Avatar (2009). When paraplegic Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is tasked with inserting his consciousness into an alien avatar body on the moon of Pandora he does his duty. That duty is to bargain with the indigenous people, the Na’vi, to gain access to their sacred land and mine for

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01:12:26

Episode 23: Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/12/05

“Drink blood out of Gandhi’s head” The panel of peril awaken to find that the pilots of their small prop plane have left them in the lurch, hop in a rapid inflating dinghy, and glide to the safety of a tumultuous river, landing in a small Indian village just in time to watch this week’s film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)! Uncannily, this exact series of events also befalls Indy (Harrison Ford), Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) and Shortround (Ke Huy Quan) as they are drawn into the Indian

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01:15:11

Episode 22: Moonraker

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/11/28

“Just like Lloyd Christmas in his dreams” The panel of peril valmorphanize their gondola into a very slim car, straighten their ties, cock their eyebrows suggestively, and then take in a viewing of this week’s film Moonraker! Moonraker (1979), directed by Lewis Gilbert, find Roger Moore’s James Bond locked in a game of wits with Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) when a Moonraker space shuttle is stolen in very mysterious circumstances. With the iconic Jaws (Richard Kiel) in hot pursuit, Bond must unravel

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50:42

Episode 21: The Goonies

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/11/21

“Mama Fratelli as played by Rip Torn” The panel of peril activate some sort of Rube Goldberg device, put on a hard-wearing pair of boots that are ideal for spelunking (or so the Littlewoods catalogue description said), then settle in to watch the first film of season 2, The Goonies! The Goonies features an all-star cast of child stars (Josh Brolin, Sean Astin, Ke Huy Quan, Corey Feldman) on the hunt for One Eyed Willie’s lost treasure. But there’s a family of criminals fast on their trail named the

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01:02:51

Episode 20: Candyman (2021)

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/11/14

“You slaggin’ me?” The panel of peril stand side by side, stare into the bathroom mirror whilst having a group shave and DO NOT say Candyman five times because that would be very silly indeed. Instead, they finish shaving, towel off the excess moisture from their faces and sit down to watch Nia DaCosta’s legacy sequel to Candyman… Candyman! Candyman (2021) finds local artist Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul Mateen II) drawn into the folklore of urban legend the Candyman whilst researching for his latest

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52:06

Episode 19: Black Panther

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/11/07

“Catching blood in a Snap, Crackle and Pop bowl” The panel of peril throw themselves in front of a gunman during a prison escape, get bundled into a high-tech plane, transported to the hidden nation of Wakanda, and upon waking go “Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” They then watch the MCU’s Black Panther before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Normal Monday stuff. Black Panther (2018) sees T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) struggle

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56:45

Episode 18: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/10/31

“The teeth in the opening segment look very good for a 1970s teeth” The panel of peril apply their collective lippy, pull on some fishnets, pour a load of food colouring (or something) into a bath and somehow create human (?) life! After which they relax by watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. This week’s film was released in 1975 and sees engaged, virginal, squares Brad

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50:35

Episode 17: Night of the Hunter

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/10/24

“Like some macabre beaver” The panel of peril crack their knuckles revealing just how ruddy tattooed those very joints are: LOVE? HATE? Yes, that’s what they say, can you believe it? Then they watch Night of the Hunter before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Night of the Hunter (1955) is film actor Charles Laughton’s lone directorial effort and casts Robert Mitchum as dodgy preacher Harry Powell as he arrives in

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52:56

Episode 16: The Big Lebowski

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/10/17

“This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps” The panel of peril open a container of half and half, give it a sniff, then settle in to watch Joel and Ethan Coen’s The Big Lebowski. Afterwards they plan on lighting fire to a big old doobie and inhaling the smoke before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. The Big Lebowski (1998) finds The Dude (Jeff Bridges) being enlisted as investigator into the

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52:46

Episode 15: The Departed

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/10/10

“The Departed. Let’s talk about The Departed.” The panel of peril pause, after watching The Departed, for a moment; Craig double crosses Gaz, Ben double crosses Craig, and Adam double crosses Ben. What a pickle! However will they get on the same page to then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod? I should make clear that they aren’t dead, just horribly injured and capable of speech. Martin Scorsese’s The Departed (2006)

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47:05

Episode 14: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/10/03

“Is Mickey Mouse really a Communist?” The panel of peril hold back their baser urges, stop playing pattycake, pull down the bed hidden in the wall of their small office and lay down to watch this week’s film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Who Framed Roger Rabbit sees the titular cartoon critter framed for the murder of Toontown owner Roger Acme, and it lies with whiskey sodden

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56:37

Episode 13: Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan

DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better ·

2022/09/26

“Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta” The panel of peril take their place in some large comfy swivel chairs, place their chin on their fist and engage(!) with 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Wrath of Khan sees the return of one of The Original Series’ most iconic villains Kahn Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) as he seeks vengeance against Admiral James T

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133 results

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