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PODCAST

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:55:17

The Intricate Intersection of Race, Gender, Sex &...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/01/09

Renee opens up to Janna about her six-year marriage to her white husband, exploring the intricacies of their age and ethnicity differences that created a soupy mix of misunderstandings around sexual desire, and her feelings of low libido. Renee, a biracial woman, brings a compassionate and curious lens to her experiences and exploration of black culture, shedding light on the pervasive hypersexualized messages that saturate the music and language, contributing to a perfect storm of toxic

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00:49:51

How to Stop People Pleasing & Speak Up For Yourself...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2024/01/02

From the early stages of her life, Rowen discovered immense fulfillment in the roles of people-pleasing and caretaking for those around her. However, she later realized that the price she paid for these roles was steep—it left her clueless about her own wants and needs. As this pattern extended into her intimate relationship with her husband, her inability to assert herself resulted in exclusive attention to his needs, leaving her feeling alone and broken in her lack of desire for intimacy. Despite

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00:44:02

Why Do Gifts of Lingerie Lower My Desire For Sex? -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/12/26

Kate and Janna unravel the complex dynamics of Kate’s 19-year marriage marked by a common tradition – the recurrent gift of lingerie. Although intended as a sweet gesture, these presents took a toll on Kate, leaving her feeling embarrassed and awkward, along with dwindling her libido and decreasing her desire for sex. As the duo discusses the cultural implications of gifting lingerie, Kate's story becomes a powerful testament to self-empowerment, shedding light on how societal norms can hinder

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00:48:06

How to Recover Intimacy in Marriage After Betrayal...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/12/19

Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—his inability to heed her pleas for gentleness, defensiveness clouding his responses, emotions spiraling into dramatic extremes, an inability to

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00:41:42

From Confusion to Connection: Empowering Men to...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/12/12

When Lee initially encountered Janna's messages about sex on her podcast, he felt victimized. It seemed to him as though blame for bad sex in marriage was being cast solely on men, leading him to internalize it as his personal responsibility. However, with time, he gradually grasped the profound message she aimed to convey – that the distorted notions about sex ingrained in our society are a product of our culture. Both he and his wife of 19 years were unwittingly influenced by these societal

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00:46:12

Is It Too Late To Fix My Sex Life at 50?- with Elle |...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/12/05

Elle believed she was grappling with low libido as she reached the age of 50, having been married for 25 years with three children in college. Intimacy in her relationship had become a burdensome task, postponed for weeks at a time until guilt finally compelled her to engage. She considered this ebb in desire as a typical aspect of this stage in life. It wasn't until Janna helped Elle compassionately delve into her personal history that the true roots of her low sex drive emerged. Unearthing

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00:15:58

Janna Answers: What If I Don't Feel Anything During...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/11/28

Janna dives into a question she receives often from women looking into her Wanting It More program: "Will this work for me if I don't feel anything during sex?" A powerful misconception exists in our culture that something is wrong with a woman if she doesn't experience intense sensations during intercourse. Many of these women are labeled with “low libido” or “low sex drive.” Janna challenges the notion that sex is primarily focused on penetration, emphasizing the importance of understanding the

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00:52:01

What Is Intentional Rest And How Do We Get More Of...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/11/14

Everyone talks about getting more rest, but what does it truly mean to rest? Is it just about lying still and doing nothing? Join Janna and her good friend, Dr. Laura Froyen, as they dive into the world of rest in this delightful conversation. They explore various types of rest – physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, sensory, and creative – unraveling the true essence of what rest aims to achieve. They recall rest experiences that can be not only rejuvenating and enlivening but also

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00:47:49

Vaginismus: How One Woman Transformed Her Intimacy...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/11/07

Ellen bravely opens up about her journey with Vaginismus, a condition she discovered on her wedding night when she and her husband tried to have intercourse for the first time. A moment that should have been filled with joy and excitement left Ellen feeling gutted and cheated, particularly because she and her husband had eagerly waited until marriage to share this experience. Vaginismus is a complex and often misunderstood medical condition that causes the muscles of the vagina to involuntarily

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00:57:01

Sex, God & the Conservative Church author Dr. Tina...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/10/31

Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy." In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity culture in the early 1980s. This shift has had serious negative effects on both women and men, impacting their ability

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00:57:12

The Physical And Emotional Toll Of Infertility On...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/10/24

The dream of having a family can quickly darken in the face of fertility issues. Sex suddenly becomes a highly monitored business, filled with immense pressure and crushing timelines. 33 year-old Bridget endured three tumultuous years of IVF treatments, invasive medical procedures, severe sickness, and the trauma of pregnancy losses, all while living through the stress and isolation of Covid. The experience left her feeling utterly broken, both physically and mentally, and traumatized with severe

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00:55:05

How to Ask For What You Really Want in the Sexual...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/10/17

When asked, "What do you like to do for pleasure?", Crissie’s response was, "That's a hard question for me.” Many women will relate to Crissie’s do-everything-for-everyone-except-myself mentality. This 40-year-old mother of four spent years consumed with providing for the needs of her young family. Figuring out her own needs, wants and enjoyments were at the very bottom of her to-do list, especially when it came to intimacy with her husband. Taking WIM gave Crissie space to ask herself for the

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00:55:27

The Right To Say 'No' To Painful Sex - with Anna |...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/10/10

If you've ever dealt with painful or uncomfortable sex, this episode is a must listen. For years, Anna tolerated the trauma of painful intercourse. She describes the pain as feeling like rug burn for hours afterward. She was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. Although she found pelvic floor therapy helpful, she didn't feel understood by her therapist and was left feeling even more sexually broken. Her sexual experiences were shadowed in anxiety, fear, shame, and guilt. Her experience in

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00:57:07

Learning to Trust Your Body & the Sexual Experience...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/10/03

Alyssa is a 31-year-old high school educator who’s been married to her high school sweetheart for 9 years. When she became sexually active in high school, she was terrified of pregnancy. Even though she was using birth control, she was so anxious for weeks afterward that it was hard to function. Once she was married and decided to start a family, Alyssa experienced two back-to- back miscarriages. Although she was told by the medical professionals treating her that this experience was routine and

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00:43:13

Real Couples Share Their Wanting It More Progress...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/09/26

On the final day of our latest Wanting It More round, I gathered all the wonderful husbands and wives together for a warm farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, I posed the question, "What's been your most significant takeaway from this journey?" Their honest responses moved me to tears. At just eight weeks into their Wanting It More adventure, these couples have already made remarkable strides in rekindling their intimacy. While this path isn't without its challenges, witnessing

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00:35:47

Q&A About The Best Program To Help Women With Low...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/09/19

I'm answering the most frequent questions I get about my online program, Wanting It More, which is now open for registration for the Oct./Nov. round. I think it’s THE best online program out there for helping women with low libido want and enjoy sex more, while also supporting their husbands so they can create a nourishing, fun, connecting sex life as a team with nobody being blamed other than culture. In this episode I'll answer: - What resources are included? What’s the weekly schedule? What’s

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01:08:12

How This Husband Turned Self-Loathing And Guilt...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/09/12

Everything Stuart learned about sex was from what he saw in media. Therefore, he understood sex to be a passionate, dramatic, climatic, sweaty event that occurs frequently and is mind blowing every time. Not surprisingly, this is not the type of sex life that Stuart had in his 12 year marriage. In this extremely honest conversation with Janna, Stuart describes the slow decline of sex in his marriage, the round and round conversations with his wife that went nowhere, and how they both felt guilty,

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01:01:22

How To Take Responsibility for Your Own Sexual...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/09/05

Helen’s biggest realization during Wanting It More was owning the fact that she wasn’t taking responsibility for her own pleasure. Her lack of enjoyment in the sexual experience wasn’t all about her husband and what he was or wasn’t doing for her. She was allowing things to happen in the bedroom that she didn’t enjoy that created feelings of boredom, frustration, annoyance, even pain, but she didn’t know what to do when something didn’t feel good anymore (or never felt good in the first

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00:50:12

The Secret To Reducing Anxiety About Sex- With Jenn |...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/08/29

Jenn grew up in a conservative Christian household and received her sex education from church events and camps (based on purity culture with the message that sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) and her high school sex ed class (which left her terrified of pregnancy and STDs). Not surprisingly, this education left her with a lot of shame around sex and her sexual interest in general. Married for seven years, the shame spiral continued with her husband and she felt confused and broken…until Wanting

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00:57:39

The Awkward Truth Of Waiting Until Marriage To Have...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/08/22

There's a big promise out there that we often hear in our culture...if you wait until marriage to have sex it will be the most united and amazing experience of your life! Yet, for many couples, the opposite tends to be true. Sex can feel awkward, weird, and unsatisfying. The lesson from youth that sex is bad is hard to suddenly shake once "I do" is said. The same feelings of shame and guilt around sex follow us into marriage and don't go away. This was Derek's experience, a devout Catholic who

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