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PODCAST

Stay Soft, Stay Open

A podcast about vulnerability, courage, and creativity. I"m your host, Jieun Ko. staysoftstayopen.substack.com

arts mental health

All Episodes

00:22:05

Gajok, Ep. #139: June 20, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/20

I'm still feeling the residual grief of Father's Day. I think I'm also feeling the anticipatory grief of the nine-month anniversary of 아빠's death, and his 64th birthday. The grief never goes away, but I feel like it has scabbed over, over the last nine months. And as these special days come up, the scab gets ripped off, and I start bleeding again. I'm not bleeding like I did last September, but I'm still bleeding, and I'm still in pain. In this episode, I read the second

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00:18:57

Gajok, Ep. #138: June 19, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/19

Writing has always been my friend. Since I was a little girl, writing has been my way of making sense of the clutter of thoughts and feelings in my head. It's been my way of making sense of myself, my life, and the world. Writing is a lot like cleaning your apartment — your brain can get cluttered, and writing helps to get all of the thoughts and feelings out so you can see them, clean them up, organize them, rearrange them, and throw certain things away. In this episode, I read the first part

en

00:24:00

Gajok, Ep. #137: June 18, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/18

Complex-PTSD and grief are hard things to carry at the same time. When I'm feeling high levels of anxiety and fear, or when I'm feeling triggered, getting out of my mind and into my body is the best thing I can do for myself. Doing small, routine things that I don't have to think too much about helps me slowly make my way out of my overwhelming feelings. Lying in the grass, looking up at the sky, and watching the world go by is incredibly healing. Support our Podcast and Become a Patreon

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00:09:30

Gajok, Ep. #136: June 17, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/18

Grief lingers. It's sticky. Extra grief-heavy weeks can leave me feeling drained. I know that, even after Father's Day is over, the grief of it will stay with me for the following day, and probably a few days after that. How much sleep I get also heavily dictates where my mental and emotional state is, even if I'm not grieving, but in grief, sleep has a much greater effect on my mental state. Support our Podcast and Become a Patreon Member:

en

00:16:50

Gajok, Ep. #135: June 14, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/14

We recorded our sixth song of the year! And we freaking recorded so early! Today is 16 days before the end of the month! This was the best recording session that we've had so far. I love recording on a Friday. I love recording during the second week of the month. I'm really proud of us for successfully doing this recording, despite the week being difficult for us. And I'm proud of us for recording six songs this year — arguably the most difficult year of my life.Sidenote: Greg is in

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00:24:18

Gajok, Ep. #134: June 13, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/13

I'm a part of this really cool project, created by St. Clair Detrick-Jules, where immigrants from all over the world share an object that they came to the U.S. with when they immigrated. For my object, I chose my mom's wedding rings. In Korea, at least in my parents' generation and before that, it was customary to give your wife two wedding rings that she would wear together on the same finger. I did some research that I will share on tomorrow's episode! But these rings are precious

en

00:14:11

Gajok, Ep. #133: June 12, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/13

My hands and feet are swelling. My fingers look like Vienna sausages. My rings don't fit anymore, so I've had to reconfigure how I wear my rings. I've pulled out an old ring and started wearing it because it's big enough to fit, when usually it's too big to wear on most of my fingers. The ring is one of my mom's two wedding bands — in Korea, you stack two wedding bands as your wedding ring set. Support our Podcast and Become a Patreon Member:

en

00:13:43

Gajok, Ep. #132: June 11, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/12

This is my first Father's Day without 아빠. Greg and I have made a tentative plan for Father's Day, both honoring him and my dad. Support our Podcast and Become a Patreon Member: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jieunandgreg

en

00:34:41

Gajok, Ep. #131: June 10, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/10

It took a long time for me to feel comfortable to tell people I was pregnant. It was hard to navigate grieving a death, while creating a life. I had so many complex emotions come up during this grief-pregnancy journey. Also, I remembered the power of slowing down this weekend. When I slow down and look around, I notice everything that's always been there. I see things with new eyes — with clarity. On Saturday, I was amazed by the wind, the trees, the leaves, the sky, and the clouds. I was amazed

en

00:30:32

Gajok, Ep. #130: June 7, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/08

I announced my pregnancy via newsletter and Instagram today, and I felt incredibly loved and hugged by all the texts, emails, comments, and messages of kindness and congratulations. Greg and I also had a 삼겹살 party with our friend Aiyana and talked about our families, immigration, and trauma. Today was a really good day. Life is tragic, and it's beautiful, all at once. Read our Newsletter on Substack: https://jieunandgreg.substack.com/p/our-first-child-coming-this-fall Support the Podcast and

en

00:30:05

Gajok, Ep. #129: June 6, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/07

Friendships, Part 2. I used to struggle with a lot of codependence and enmeshment in my relationships and friendships. I used to go after emotionally reserved people, or people who seemed really cool, or people who seemed like they needed help being fixed. I used to do their part in the friendship, along with my part, and carry heavy bitterness and resentment that I didn't discuss with them. These days, I'm learning to let people be who they are and where they are. I'm learning to let

en

00:30:50

Gajok, Ep. #128: June 5, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/06

Up until the age of 30, I erased myself, suppressed myself, and masked myself in friendships. A core belief I had was that, if I showed up fully as myself in my friendships, all my friends would leave me. The shitty reality is that, when I started showing up in my friendships as my full self, a lot of people did leave me. I was too scared to lose those shitty friendships because I believed crumbs were better than starving. But I didn't realize that being full was an option. And I didn't

en

00:28:25

Gajok, Ep. #127: June 4, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/04

Pregnant women should get paid for bringing human life into the world. Women should get paid more than men because we have to bring life into the world, and we have to deal with our bodies ovulating every month before we decide to bring life into the world. Pregnant women are not supported enough through their pregnancies. But the sad and enraging thing is, dying people are supported even less. The death industry is nothing like the birth industry. Pregnant women should be getting free car rides,

en

00:16:00

Gajok, Ep. #126: June 3, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/04

I have a very big announcement. --- Support the Podcast, become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/jieunandgreg

en

00:15:55

Gajok, Ep. #125: May 31, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/06/01

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

00:26:57

Gajok, Ep. #124: May 30, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/05/31

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼 In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

00:18:47

Gajok, Ep. #123: May 29, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/05/30

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼 In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

00:25:00

Gajok, Ep. #122: May 28, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/05/28

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼 In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

00:24:04

Gajok, Ep. #121: May 27, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/05/28

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼 In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

00:33:47

Gajok, Ep. #120: May 24, 2024

Stay Soft, Stay Open ·

2024/05/25

Happy Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, friends. 🌼In honor of this month, for the next 10 days, Greg and I are giving away a free and exclusive gift to every person that joins our Patreon Community. Between May 21 and May 31, every new subscribing Patreon Member — all tiers included — will receive a dandelion enamel pin made by New Jersey-based South Asian American artist, Rubeena Ianigro. Here are the 4 steps to becoming a Patreon Member: ① Go to our Patreon

en

241 results

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