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PODCAST

Magellans at the Movies

Nathan Magalhaes

Welcome to Magellans at the Movies, the outrageously popular* new podcast about all things movies brought to you by Nathan “I-can’t-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing” Magalhães and his brother Elliot “Who-on-Earth-is-going-to-listen-to-a-podcast-we-make” Magalhães! (*Outrageous popularity pending) Join the brothers Magalhães (Anglicized as Magellan) as they bicker and banter about movies no one has seen or cares about or that have already been analyzed by far sharper minds than their own every week,

arts visual arts

All Episodes

43:34

The Father

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/10/06

We do not want to make any jokes about this movie, please enjoy our episode on Florian Zeller's The Father.

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123:12

The Magellans on the Star Wars Franchise

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/09/29

It really is impossible to overstate just how ubiquitous Star Wars is as a franchise. It’s easier to find the Ark of the Covenant than it is to find someone so culturally illiterate, so far removed from the bright center of the galaxy that they’ve never heard of George Lucas’ civilization dominating brainchild. Star Wars means many different things to many different people, and today, for some reason, Magellans at the Movies is revealing what it means to them. And not just the movies, but the video

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59:36

Psycho

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/09/22

It’s been a long day on the road. You’ve annoyed the locals of whatever tourist trap you’ve been to, you’ve been swindled out of your life savings in exchange for two post cards and commemorative mug, and now you’re looking to cap off a successful day with a good night’s kip. This poses a problem, however, because you forgot to pack your house, and now you need shelter for the cold night. Well, you’re in luck, because thousands of years ago some bright young entrepreneur came up with the idea of the

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53:30

Training Day

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/09/15

Bosses, amirite? American civilization is practically founded on the idea that the 9-5 worker drone one tier above you is a bit of a handful, denying you overtime, forcing you to give up your vacation days, and making that promotion contingent upon you laughing at their lame jokes to a not insignificant degree. All of that’s bad, of course, but at least we can be grateful that supervisor Greg doesn’t take us on an increasingly dangerous tour of Los Angeles’ criminal underbelly while skillfully

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61:23

Barry Lyndon

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/09/09

Ah, to be an Irish rogue in the 1700s. It was such a glorious time if your name was Charles, last name The Twelfth or if you were a doctor peddling in leech based medicinal techniques. Fortunately for those of us who are neither we can just watch the goings on of this time via the magical technology of moving pictures, and even more fortunately we can then hear them being discussed by geniuses in the art of film criticism or in this case by underqualified Brazilian-Americans with some time on their

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55:57

Jaws

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/09/01

Nature is full of dangerous animals. Bears, alligators, lions, and honey badgers are all vicious, aggressive predators that, if given the chance, will happily kill and eat a human who, despite being firmly atop the food chain, are comparatively fragile and much shorter on pointy bits than your average apex predator. Depending on your galeophobia levels, you may have noticed one animal that I didn’t list just a minute ago: sharks. That’s because sharks aren’t actually that interested in eating

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62:21

Citizen Kane

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/08/25

We all know Hollywood legend Orson Welles from his groundbreaking role as Unicron in Transformers: The Movie, but did you know he actually directed and starred in a lesser known film called Citizen Kane in 1941? It’s true! This brave little movie toiling in the shadow of its younger brother may not have bright colors or cars that turn into robots, but that doesn’t mean it has nothing to say for itself. Citizen Kane has a Shakespearean rise and fall, then-innovative cinematography techniques, and a

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68:25

The Batman (2022)

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/08/21

One of the most impressive powers of good writing is its ability to convince you to take seriously that which you would find outrageous and laughable in real life. If, on the evening news, you saw someone dressed up like a bat and ran around the city at night beating up muggers, you’d probably have a good chuckle at the expense of the silly man in his silly costume, but watch that same quirky spectacle on the big screen and you may just find yourself enthralled. I’m talking, of course, about the

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69:48

Ace in the Hole

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/08/11

For as long as there has been news there have been those who would spread it. Modern journalism may trace its roots back to the advent of radio and television reporting, but the practice of informing people of the goings on in the world far predates media journalism. That’s right, when your crazy uncle leaves you a fifteen minute voicemail urging you to start digging a bunker in preparation for the illuminati’s forthcoming global conquest, he’s inheriting a rich and noble tradition that is thousands

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60:34

The Magellans on Their Least Favorite Films

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/08/04

Any therapist worth their salt will tell you that it simply doesn’t do to dwell on the negative. Allowing your mental wheels to grind against the woes of the past will only serve to make you more bitter, more defensive, more paranoid, and ultimately less open to the many opportunities and triumphs of the now. Unless, of course, you’ve decided to mark every tenth episode of your unsuccessful film podcast with some kind of special episode, in which case you’re more than willing to shred your mental

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63:35

Oppenheimer

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/07/28

Science! Best known for its supporting role in Bill Nye the Science Guy, science is the method by which we deepen our understanding of the world around us. It tells us what lies in the hearts of stars, the process by which our bodies are formed, and how to turn lead into gold probably. Science isn’t just about nature, it undergirds the world man has established. It has provided us with new materials for building, new medicines for living, and new frontiers for exploring. Most important of all, if

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80:19

Barbie (ft Lydia Cowins)

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/07/28

In the great pantheon of childhood toys there are few as ubiquitous, as culturally dominant, as wildly oversaturated as Barbie, the plastic approximation of a woman whose various outfits probably cost more than your entire closet. Being so intertwined with the tumultuous development of young girls, the brand is of course subject to great scrutiny. Barbie has been accused of being everything from an unrealistic, self-esteem destroying symbol of the male gaze to a Pied Piper of liberal values luring

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56:17

Lawrence of Arabia

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/07/21

Sand. According to the modern Shakespeare it’s coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere. Those of a similar mind should probably avoid the sun-blasted wastes of Arabia, where the dust is plentiful and the cleansing water rare. The only thing that could make these unforgiving deserts worse would be a web of train lines and bridges used by the Ottoman Empire to move supplies and troops to their various fronts in the first World War. We don’t have to worry about these days, however, thanks in

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56:32

High School Musical

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/07/14

Why are we doing this? Descriptions written by Elliot

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56:07

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/07/07

Indiana Jones. He’s one of the most recognizable film characters of all time. The whip, the leather jacket, the revolver, and of course, the fedora, all combine to create the adventuring archaeologist's famous silhouette, but Indy’s appeal isn’t all superficial. He’s just a well written, charismatic, Nazi punching hero played with predictably smooth aplomb by Harrison Ford. The franchise didn’t exactly leave us on a high note in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but a brave group of filmmakers have been

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53:07

The Raid

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/06/30

Everyone has bad days from time to time, yes, even if you live in Australia (five bucks if you get that reference). Your car won’t start when you need to be at work early, the AC breaks on the hottest day of the year, or you accidentally switch lives with your evil long lost twin on your wedding day thus throwing your entire future into uncertainty as you try to convince the police that it’s a coincidence you look exactly like the drug kingpin they’ve been hunting for the past two years. The thing

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55:07

Casablanca

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/06/23

Antiquities are a niche interest. People collect relics from the past to learn about how people once lived, how they occupied themselves, and the kinds of comforts they could enjoy. For many people, perusing gilded mirrors, dusty phonographs, and hideous cushions in a poorly lit store on your local town square constitutes cruel and unusual punishment, but some artifacts defy age and become entrenched in our daily lives for all time thanks to their enduring viability. The same is true of movies,

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51:40

Pride and Prejudice

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/06/16

In the great pantheon of stuffy old late-19th century British authors (for which the middle school English teacher is the most devoted evangelist) perhaps no other member has had their works adapted more often or in more mediums than Jane Austen, chronicler and critic of polite society in England. Austen’s books have weighed down many an American student’s backpack, but we all know that it’s easier to just watch the movie and then cobble together your report from that, so if you’ve recently been

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68:55

Downfall

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/06/09

It’s the waning days of World War II and Nazi Germany is in a bad way. The Allies have squeezed them out of Africa and Asia and have begun pushing deep into Europe. Berlin is being slowly suffocated by the Red Army of the Soviet Union and the American and British forces are not far behind. A setting like that usually calls for a grand, explosive film about the heroic Allies delivering the final, decisive deathblow to the exhausted Axis, but director Oliver Hirschbiegel decided to take things in an

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62:46

No Country for Old Men

Magellans at the Movies ·

2023/06/02

It’s hard getting old. There’s the usual complaints: things like weakening bodies, fading memories, and the looming shadow of death, but getting old also means seeing things change. McDonald’s starts selling breakfast all day, they make the capes for LEGO figures out of cloth instead of paper, and everyone and their grandma wants you to scan a QR code to access their business even though I don’t have my phone on me and why can’t I just talk to a real human to sort out my order I just don’t get-wait,

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