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PODCAST

Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who"s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something"s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I"m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I"m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience,

education self-improvement

All Episodes

33:48

Emotional Maturity (not Sexual Attraction) is the Key...

Beyond Success ·

2023/12/28

When a relationship hinges on sexual attractiveness, it’s doomed to fail. Yet despite all the scientific evidence about attractiveness fading over time, the first step most men take when their relationship falters is improving their attractiveness. They think that if only they had a 6-pack or more designer brand clothes that this will magically make their partner fall back in love with them. But nothing is further from the truth. Do you think that an elderly couple still obviously in love with

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32:34

How To Undo Deep-Seated Repression & Resolve Inner...

Beyond Success ·

2023/12/21

There's a pervasive myth in society today, especially among high achievers. And that myth is that repression is a reliable and sustainable tool for success. Why is this myth so pervasive? Well, this strategy sort of works in the short-term, fooling high achievers into thinking that it’s a sound strategy. But over time, as your protective parts work harder and harder to repress these nasty emotions, they end up resurfacing and causing more trouble than they ever did. This is what leads to

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30:40

Breaking Free: Overcome Emotional Repression for...

Beyond Success ·

2023/12/14

Your emotions are like the GPS to your psyche. They’re the signposts that help you lead a life of happiness and fulfillment. But the problem most achievers have is that they’ve learned to repress their emotions in order to achieve success. This is an insidious Catch 22—by repressing your emotions you cannot fully celebrate your accomplishments. This nasty habit of emotional repression also extends to your dating life and relationships. Repressed emotions deter you from creating deeper connections,

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32:09

What Makes or Breaks Intimate Connections & Lasting...

Beyond Success ·

2023/12/07

Most men lack a certain “skill” that explains many relationship and dating problems modern men have. It explains anxiety before and during dates, emotional isolation when you lose intimacy over time, and it even explains why couples have so many arguments. The skill? Presence. But the problem is, most men think presence only means physical presence. But it means so much more than that. In fact, presence is the key skill to strengthen the bond between partners, enhance your emotional intimacy,

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32:26

The Truth Behind Marriage and Babies as Relationship...

Beyond Success ·

2023/11/30

One of the most damaging societal myths we believe is that marriage or having a baby can fix underlying relationship issues. This myth isn’t only misleading, but it creates more significant issues down the road. For example, breaking up is much easier (mentally and financially) than getting a divorce. Bringing a child into this world under the wrong pretenses can burden your children with deep-seated trauma that takes decades to fix. The truth? Marriage and parenthood aren’t solutions to your

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49:41

How To Become More Attractive To Your Wife Or Girlfriend

Beyond Success ·

2023/11/23

There’s a myth that many guys believe: that looks, status, or wealth are the keys to a lasting relationship. But this isn’t true. And if you fall for that myth, you’ll wind up in a loveless and eventually boring and sexless relationship. While these attributes might have created that initial spark of attraction for each other, as your relationship matures, other attributes become much more important. In fact, I call these attributes the “Four P’s.” Besides keeping the fire alive in your long-term

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33:41

The Courage to Feel Sadness & The Hidden Strength of...

Beyond Success ·

2023/11/16

Men have been told for generations that feeling or showing their sadness is a sign of weakness. This myth has misled entire generations of men to suppress their sadness. And nothing has led to men being more isolated, lonely, and disconnected—from themselves and others—than this toxic myth. Why? Because suppressing emotions like sadness deprives you of the very love and connection you yearn for. In fact, sadness is the gateway to love. And fearing emotions like sadness keeps us locked away from

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33:07

How to Master Your Emotions so They Work For You Not...

Beyond Success ·

2023/11/09

Most guys see their emotions—both positive and negative—as a sign of weakness and root cause of sabotage. This leads them to take one of two approaches to their emotions: Either they repress their emotions entirely, fooling themselves into believing everything’s fine when it’s not, causing resentment and passive aggressive behavior. Or they take the opposite approach: Unbridled self-expression of their emotions, which leads to angry outbursts and regret. Here’s the unfortunate truth: Both of

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27:31

Toxic Growth: Why Needing Endless Growth Is Stopping...

Beyond Success ·

2023/11/02

If you’re an achiever, you probably prioritize growth over everything else. You set goals for the distant future that you think will make you happy and fulfilled – goals that can only be achieved after dedicating long hours of grueling work and sacrificing your happiness in the short-term. But here’s the problem: When you finally achieve these long-term goals, you’ll realize they haven’t given you lasting happiness or fulfillment. Because society has sold you on the idea that the unenjoyable grind

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30:58

Mastering Dating: The Untapped Power of Emotional...

Beyond Success ·

2023/10/26

In today's complex dating world, numerous men find themselves grappling not only with the intricacies of modern romance but also with deep-seated anxieties and fears that surround it. They fear starting conversations with women. They worry about what others think of them. And when they do end up in a relationship, it eventually devolves into dramatic fights, falling apart, and heartbreak. Why? Well, the short answer is these men haven’t addressed and healed the burdens of their inner child parts

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41:22

The Shocking Truth: What Emotionally Mature Leaders...

Beyond Success ·

2023/10/19

In this new episode, we are diving deep into the world of emotions and success. Have you ever wondered why working hard for years may not lead to the rewarding experience you've always dreamed of? Or why so many people treat emotions as obstacles to success? This episode reveals profound insights on how repressing emotions can actually hinder our ability to fully enjoy the rewards of our hard work. We'll explore the fascinating concept of alexithymia and how the pursuit of success can become a

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39:07

Why Chasing Success Won't Make You Happy - Here's...

Beyond Success ·

2023/10/12

In this new episode, we delve into the fascinating world of emotions and explore how a life well lived is more like a captivating piece of music rather than a relentless pursuit of achievements. Have you ever found yourself constantly striving for the next milestone, only to feel empty and unsatisfied when you finally reach it? Well, you're not alone. Society has conditioned us to believe that worldly success is the ultimate goal, but what if we told you there's a different way to approach life

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31:16

How Repression Sabotages Love and Connection

Beyond Success ·

2023/10/05

Have you ever been told to "stop being so sensitive" or that being emotional is bad or useless? It's a common experience for many men, and it's time to challenge this notion. In today's episode, we'll explore the hidden costs of suppressing our emotions and why it's important to embrace our authentic selves. Join us as we uncover the truth behind the myth that repressing our emotions leads to success. We'll explore how repressed emotions can impact our intimate relationships, our professional

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49:09

How To Assert Yourself Effectively (Without Losing...

Beyond Success ·

2023/09/28

Do you feel like the people in your life push you around? Like your voice and opinions don’t matter? Or that other people frequently take advantage of you? Well, here’s the cold, hard truth: Unless you're comfortable with being assertive, you'll just end up being a doormat. This applies to every relationship you have: with your significant other, with your coworkers and bosses, and even in general social situations. To make matters worse, many men struggle with being assertive. They didn't have

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38:43

How Do You Handle Disrespect (Especially When It's...

Beyond Success ·

2023/09/21

Several listeners have asked about handling disrespect, especially when it comes from your partner. And I get it: Disrespect is a breeding ground for contempt. And contempt will sabotage any healthy relationship you have. So, what do you do when you feel disrespected? In today’s show, you’ll discover what you should do when you feel disrespected, the root cause of disrespect you probably haven't considered, and how to turn disrespect into respect instead of letting it blossom into hate. Listen

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01:05:57

An Ode To Ken From The Barbie Movie

Beyond Success ·

2023/09/14

After reviewing the Barbie movie, many listeners wrote angry emails and comments to me. They didn’t like the way the Kens were treated in the movie, but I did. In fact, I saw Ken as the hero in the movie. Why? Well, years ago, after discovering my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me, I stood on the 57th floor of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel looking down trying to jump. Even though I didn’t, I let my rage and hatred consume me. Because of this rage and hatred I felt, the Red Pill world appealed to

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45:37

Your Fixer Mindset Is Ruining Your Chance of Finding...

Beyond Success ·

2023/09/07

The “Fixer Mindset” plagues every nice guy who can’t seem to even talk to an attractive lady, let alone start a relationship with her. If you continue letting this broken mindset subconsciously guide you, it can end in complete catastrophe: Like bending over backwards for an ex who still lives with you, and starts bringing new guys into your apartment. This happens more often than you’d think. Why? Well, if you haven’t overcome your early childhood traumas, then you’ll subconsciously recreate

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50:39

Healthy Boundaries, Relationship Standards, & Jonah Hill

Beyond Success ·

2023/08/31

Did you see the latest Jonah Hill controversy with his ex-girlfriend? She shared their text exchange on Instagram, and while they both brought up some good therapeutic points, each of them handled the situation in a poor manner for varying reasons. Since many listeners have written in wondering what I thought about this exchange, I figured I’d dedicate an entire episode to it. What Jonah did wrong, what he did right, and what he should’ve done in this situation if he was fully mature through his

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52:07

The Raw, Unfiltered Truth about the Red Pill Movement...

Beyond Success ·

2023/08/24

Just because you haven't found love or a successful relationship doesn't mean those two things don’t exist. Yet, this is one of the many myths the Red Pill movement tricks you into believing. The truth? The truth is that the Red Pill community reeks of immature masculinity, marinating in suffering. Inside of everyone fooled by the Red Pill is a little boy who just wants unconditional love. But instead of using the pain to break past your own barriers, the Red Pill dupes you into creating more

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57:57

The Raw, Unfiltered Truth about the Red Pill Movement

Beyond Success ·

2023/08/17

Listeners and fans have written in for quite a while now wondering what my opinions are about the Red Pill movement, which was largely inspired by Rollo Tomassi’s book, The Rational Male. The Rational Male and the Red Pill movement tries to teach guys how to be “alpha.” But there’s a big, fat problem with this ideology: It’s filled with bitter resentment: Towards “alphas.” Towards women. And worst of all? Towards yourself. In this episode, my friend and men’s coach, Steve Mayeda, and I reveal

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