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PODCAST

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back

Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they"re pretty sure they"re going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!

comedy books

All Episodes

2:22:56

Episode #118 – Antigua Ep 6 – Teens!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2022/03/09

Support the 372 Patreon! Bonus Real or Fanfics, classical minis, other weirder stuff! patreon.com/372pages “Displace one note and there would be diminishment, displace one phrase and the structure would fall.” Salieri on Mozart but it could easily have been spoken by Conor or me about the Ellis’ classic book, Antigua: The Land of Fairies Wizard … Continue reading "Episode #118 – Antigua Ep 6 – Teens!"

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2:23:30

Episode #117 – Antigua Ep 5 – Animal Collective

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2022/02/11

Support the Podcast on Patreon to get fun stuff like a Meet The Authors with Bill Corbett, Conor’s breakdown of an iconic hip-hop sample, and every episode early! patreon.com/372pages Just a few of the animals mentioned in this episode’s reading: dogs, cats, cows, roosters, chickens, pigs, goats, horses, cattle, foxes, squirrel monkeys who make all … Continue reading "Episode #117 – Antigua Ep 5 – Animal Collective"

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2:30:55

Episode #116 – Antigua Ep 4 – Holograms

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2022/01/28

Support the podcast on Patreon and see what you’re missing! It’s the only place to hear Mike’s amazing bonus real or fanfic! http://patreon.com/372pages You know how when a friend says, “You have to see this video!” and then thrusts his phone in your face and stands awkwardly watching your expression as you watch a video … Continue reading "Episode #116 – Antigua Ep 4 – Holograms"

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2:25:42

Episode 115 – Antigua Ep 3 – Timothy!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2022/01/18

Support us on Patreon! It’s the only place to hear the legendary Bonus Real or Fanfic we did in between episodes! patreon.com/372pages A jam-packed episode for which we will not apologize: there are roughly 8300 characters mentioned in this reading alone. And we barely touch on the Great Wizard Agnessa! We’ve got fairies, fairiettes, pixies, … Continue reading "Episode 115 – Antigua Ep 3 – Timothy!"

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2:14:19

Episode 114 – Antigua Ep 2 – Beautiful Horses

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2022/01/04

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Please join them so we can have enough supporters to outnumber the centaurs in this book. patreon.com/372pages This book is amazing! It’s an amazing book! Conor, 40 years-old, yelled to Mike, who was made of human parts, “I can’t believe how amazing this book is!” They … Continue reading "Episode 114 – Antigua Ep 2 – Beautiful Horses"

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36:30

Episode 113 – Book 19 – Antigua Ep. 1

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/12/10

Conor challenges Mike with a quiz (he does poorly) and then the new book is announced! EDIT: Well this should be interesting. The kindle (CANON) version does not have chapter breaks. We will read until Location 737, ending at the sentence “The rulers of the easternmost province were King Arlexjandrio and Queen Gwyndeth.” This is … Continue reading "Episode 113 – Book 19 – Antigua Ep. 1"

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2:28:46

Episode 112 – Irene Iddsleigh Ep 3 – HAWKES! (The...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/11/26

Our Patreon listeners are our favorite listeners! Join them at patreon.com/372pages and be the first to learn what book we’re doing next Wow, there’s no way around it, we unabashedly loved the places this book went! (If you don’t agree with us please contact our solicitors, Messrs. Hutchinson and Harper. If you find no relief … Continue reading "Episode 112 – Irene Iddsleigh Ep 3 – HAWKES! (The Gardener)"

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2:19:06

Episode 111 – Irene Iddesleigh #2

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/11/12

Support the podcast on Patreon, and hear all about Mike’s Time Advocate theory! patreon.com/372pages Just when you thought Irene Iddesleigh was just going to be kind of old-timey funny, the type of funny that would cause Samuel Clemens to sort of let out a little laugh through his nose, it goes completely bananas off-the-rails insane!! … Continue reading "Episode 111 – Irene Iddesleigh #2"

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2:21:33

Episode 110 – Irene Iddesleigh #1

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/10/29

Join the 372 Pages Patreon and get early access to every new episode! Patreon.com/372pages This book was a surprise, packed with hidden delights. So too this episode including -A brand new department: Appreciate Mark Twain -Several dives to the Dark Web -More than one improv regarding Sir John’s locked rooms -Dumb Sentences -A stunning Real … Continue reading "Episode 110 – Irene Iddesleigh #1"

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27:31

Episode 109 – Book 18: Irene Iddlesleigh

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/10/15

Our patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and are already sending in their dumb sentences! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Join us for our 18th book: Irene Iddlesleigh by Amanda Mckittrick Ros. That is, if the Red Cross doesn’t abduct Conor before then. For our first episode we’ll be reading … Continue reading "Episode 109 – Book 18: Irene Iddlesleigh"

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49:50

Episode 108 – Modelland Extra – Acknowledgments, aka...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/10/08

**Please note that the giveaway mentioned in this ep has obviously already ended** Be the first to find out what our next book is! Support the podcast on Patreon and get early access to every ep and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Reading a 563 Tyra Banks book just wasn’t enough. Listeners insisted we read and … Continue reading "Episode 108 – Modelland Extra – Acknowledgments, aka Library Fudge"

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2:28:55

Episode 107 – Modelland Ep 7 – O’Neil Rises

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/09/24

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on our Patreon! http://patreon.com/372pages O’Neil of course does not rise. But this is Modelland’s final episode. Per our stunt Mike did not read it so it’s all in the capable hands of Conor, who, for the first time gets to read a passage to the poor bedraggled “little … Continue reading "Episode 107 – Modelland Ep 7 – O’Neil Rises"

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2:09:03

Episode 106 – Modelland Ep 6 – Human Leg Giraffe

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/09/03

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Join them over at patreon.com/372pages Mike catches Conor up on the the plot, which involves a lot of filth, sores, blood, detached limbs, wounds and severed torsos. In other words, just another Tuesday at Modelland! As this is a Very Special Episode, we’d love your opinion … Continue reading "Episode 106 – Modelland Ep 6 – Human Leg Giraffe"

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2:27:26

Episode 105 – Modelland Ep 5 – SHOCKING NEWS!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/08/20

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early plus other fun stuff: patreon.com/372pages Our longest episode yet – making it, clearly, our best. We’ll check in on a loving father reading his beloved daughter a bed time story. Conor breaks out the Pocket Operators to recreate one of the BellaDonna’s … Continue reading "Episode 105 – Modelland Ep 5 – SHOCKING NEWS!"

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2:16:08

Episode 104 – Modelland Ep 4 – O’Neil

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/08/03

Thank you to our Patreon supporters who keep the podcast going and have had access to this episode for a week already! Join them at patreon.com/372pages The underutilization of O’Neil is downright criminal: as though A Confederacy of Dunces just mentioned Ignatius J. Reilly and then moved on. Still, plenty of good stuff in the … Continue reading "Episode 104 – Modelland Ep 4 – O’Neil"

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2:13:20

Episode 103 – Modelland Ep 3 – AUGH SORRY SO SO SORRY...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/07/19

Support the podcast with a few bucks on Patreon. Get every episode early, Meet The Authors segments, interviews with Lauren and Bridget, contests, and more! patreon.com/372pages A testament to how weird this book has become: A “sloppy, love-filled reunion hug” is the most normal thing that happens in this episode’s reading. The Cronenbergian body-horror levels … Continue reading "Episode 103 – Modelland Ep 3 – AUGH SORRY SO SO SORRY SORRY"

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2:04:04

Episode 102 – Modelland Ep 2 – Goggle Eyes & Long...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/06/24

Please support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early, access to our Discord, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Conor and Mike wade into the fever dream like madness that is Tyra Banks’ Modelland but not before Mike gets his comeuppance on an issue of pronunciation. And since no Dark Web recreators could possibly capture … Continue reading "Episode 102 – Modelland Ep 2 – Goggle Eyes & Long Fingers"

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2:24:32

Episode 101 – Modelland Ep 1 – Einfach was für ein...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/06/09

Join the 372 Patreon to get every episode early and other fun exclusive stuff! http://patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor quickly discover that Tyra Banks’ only novel is Cr8Zee! (Cr8Zee is pronounced “crazeee” because the “t” sound at the end of “8” is silent and the two “ee”s at the end are pronounced like three “eee”s.) They … Continue reading "Episode 101 – Modelland Ep 1 – Einfach was für ein Loonerherz"

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30:43

Episode 100 – We Announce our 17th Book!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/05/24

A famous person wrote a book so it would be rude of us not to read and discuss this person’s work. Also: 100 episodes!!! First assignment: Read through chapter 6

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2:14:23

Episode 99 – Quilters Ep 3 – Goodbye, Cozyverse!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/05/06

By the first to find out what we’re reading next by joining the 372 Patreon! Lots of other great exclusive posts and events as well! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! It’s with wet eyes that we bid farewell to the land of wrongly timed barbecue, snippy and/or flirty waitresses, violent drug-pushing teacher/furniture store managers, open … Continue reading "Episode 99 – Quilters Ep 3 – Goodbye, Cozyverse!"

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