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PODCAST

Monster Crush

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You"re in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn"t without a few risks?

comedy

All Episodes

01:06:18

Date 14 - This Love will Never go Extinct

Monster Crush ·

2018/11/15

What they all have in common: scales. What makes them unique: how many buttholes they have. These four bachelors have been waiting for that special person to come into their lives for a long, long time. CW: brief gore, and mention of hate crimes. Featuring: THE ALIENS ARE HERE; literal butt munching; Marky Mark is Racist; Cracking a Cold Case w/the Boys; On the Fifth Day Bears Were Made, Upright and Uptight; Censored X-Rated Content. Check out our Twitter for a link to our sources!Theme song bySeth

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01:09:35

Date 13 - Spooktacular Love

Monster Crush ·

2018/10/30

We didn't plan this, but this is our 13th and SPOOKIEST of all episodes, just in time for Halloween! We recorded in an extra large, extra chilly room and there's a bit of echo, which only adds to the ambiance. Featuring: Layers of nightmare; Ghosts drunk on power; Sassy Siri; Unnecessary 'U's; Pumpkin Head (1988) is a good movie, and also spoilers for the movie sorry; 18th-century role play.Theme song bySeth David-Andrew Hubbard[Palmersmedic/Sender!]

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00:57:36

Date 12 - Cause Baby You Got What They Need

Monster Crush ·

2018/10/16

Someday, you're going to find someone who loves you for what's on the inside - your blood. It's wet n' wild, and you're full of it. Jackpot! [Redacted due to fear of legal repercussions] isn't the only sexy vampire in town, and four hungry fiends are eager to show you what they got. CW: exsanguination, body horror, math. Featuring: The Sniffles; don't sue us Anne R*ce; Panic! @ the New England Gravesite; Family-friendly family riddle; the most Jewish number; too much math.SOURCESThe First VampireThe

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01:02:19

Date 11 - Talk About a Total Failure

Monster Crush ·

2018/09/25

YOU ASKED FOR IT. Experiments gone wrong is this week's topic, and it comes with a lot of content warnings: Suicide, body horror, gore, sexual assault, drug use, kidnapping, abortion, miscarriage, murder, graphic language. Featuring: Brain parasites; Google Talks!; A noisy computer fan that I couldn't fix in post sorry :( ; BFF road trips; Josh Hartnett (monkey?); Knife dance.Theme song bySeth David-Andrew Hubbard[Palmersmedic/Sender!]SOURCESBachelor 1Bachelor 2Bachelor 3Bachelor 4That Super Cool

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01:07:57

Date 10 - Is This a Trick?

Monster Crush ·

2018/09/10

ELLY IS BACK - AGAIN! After a brief hiatus, your two favorite monster girls are back with a new batch of dates! These bad boys may be known for their pranks, tricks, and epic fails, but don't we all deserve a chance at love? Featuring: Bigfoot lawsuits, Zak Baggans erotic fanfiction, witch nipples, ...chemists..., otters (revisited), unrequited bird love, a well-traveled Gary, perfectly moist plants.Theme song bySeth David-Andrew Hubbard[Palmersmedic/Sender!]SOURCES:Native LanguagesCanadian War

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00:55:11

Date 9 - W/Special Guest TheNobodynoo!

Monster Crush ·

2018/08/13

This week our guest,TheNobdynoo, takes Heaven-Leigh on a tour of the Middle East. This episode has everything: good bois, giant animals, and the murderous creations of God. What fun!Theme song bySeth David-Andrew Hubbard[Palmersmedic/Sender!] / Cover art by Eugenia,@Gennatis

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01:12:28

Date 8 - w/ Special Guest Seth!

Monster Crush ·

2018/07/31

TAKE TWO on this special episode of Monster Crush! We are going on a tour of the United States with bachelors from Washington, Alaska, and Utah - a menagerie of potential loves. Featuring: A BRAND NEW THEME SONG, TTS (tech transmitted spirits), hot grandma, front pocket worms, graphic otters, bad Viking boats, wrestling boyfriends. CW for animal abuse and death.SOURCES (click through to the episode page for proper formatting and clickable links)Mysterious Universe- Bachelor Number

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00:54:10

Date 7 - That's Shifty

Monster Crush ·

2018/07/30

Elly is back! Heaven-Leigh saved your listener's choice for her return, so the two get fluid as they talk shapeshifters. These ain't you momma's werewolves. Featuring: Advice on where not to put alcohol, surprisingly heated Titanic debate, spoilers for the 1977 film Orca, fabric, VERY bad accents, the future is up-for-debate. CW for animal death and mention of sexual assault.SOURCES (Click through to the episode page for proper formatting and clickable links)BritannicaAncient PagesMyth and

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01:04:43

Date 6 - DnD Special Episode!

Monster Crush ·

2018/07/02

Elly is out of town, and so Heaven-Leigh is joined by a special guest; and this time, the tables have turned! Special guest Archmage Derek joins Monster Crush to talk Dungeons, Dragons, and Villians. Heads up: Heaven-Leigh is expecting a new microphone and had to whip out an old, old, bad one, and audio quality isn't the greatest on that end. Sorry! Featuring: Fantasy bros, SPOILERS, the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend/Punisher crossover no one asked for.CW for menstruation, pregnancy, and body horror.Our theme

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00:51:13

Episode 5 - Drrrrty

Monster Crush ·

2018/06/17

Two exhausted girls got together one early morning to bring you whatever this episode is! We are going elemental this week with some down and dirty monsters to love. Featuring: The elusive fifth taste, biology, sexy dads, temperature troubles, extensive role-playing, justice for Sherpas. Please click through to our episode webpage for sources.SOURCES:Sherpa (2015)Cryptidz - Singelton OneLive ScienceCryptidz - Singelton ThreeMythical RealmCryptidz - Singelton Four"Mischief Maker" Kevin

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01:03:24

Date 4 - 'Til Death do you Hug

Monster Crush ·

2018/06/04

They're here, they're big, and they are going to hug the heck outta you! Only half of them are confirmed killers, which is a pretty good ratio for us. Featuring: A PSA on shorts, a PSA on cats, the evil hertz, bad academic skills, more about cats, black dogs of the UK, friendly kidnapping, cats. Please click through to our homepage for sources, everything gets all screwy in the iTunes description.SOURCESCryptidz Wiki - Singleton OneParanormal-EncyclopediaMythology.NetCryptidz Wiki- Singleton

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01:08:26

Date 3 - There's Something in the Water

Monster Crush ·

2018/05/20

We are back from our short and unexpected hiatus with a handful of new dates to sample! We went a little dark this episode as requested by listeners, so be aware that there is mention of body horror, sexual assault, child death, and murder. Join us as we travel around the world to meet four ladies who are willing to put it all on the table for a chance at love. Featuring: fake disco bands, baptisms, hook hand PSAs, and realizingMedusa deserves better.Sources:Slavic ChroniclesAncient OriginsCVLT

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01:08:17

Date 2 - No Scientific Testing to be Seen Here

Monster Crush ·

2018/04/15

This week we take a small tour of the United States to visit one suitor with five identities. Despite their different origins, they all have one thing in common: they are willing to risk it all for a chance at love. Five bachelors enter, but can any of them score a second date and a coveted smooch? Featuring: animals who have academic degrees, liminal spaces, and CLIVE?!Also, everyone take a good look at our new COVER ART! It was done by the wildly talented Eugenia MÃ©ndez, and more amazing art can

en

00:40:09

Date 1 - What is a Cryptid? Plus: A Six Foot Vertical...

Monster Crush ·

2018/03/31

Elly's first date is a local boy that hails from her home country, England. He likes bangers and mash, clothes that are just tight enough to leave you wanting more, and terrorizing young women.SOURCES:Atlas ObscuraThe Cobra's NoseFolklore ThursdayHorrorpedia"Mischief Maker" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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