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PODCAST

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

01:02:24

Episode 142: Are You Lazy In Bed? Here’s What Your...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/02/08

Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex? In this episode, we’re breaking down the specific things you’re doing that your partner thinks are lazy, the consequences of bedroom laziness, and the surprising reasons why you’re not putting in more effort. Most importantly, we’ll walk you through our step-by-step process to stop being lazy and start having more fun in the bedroom! Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet or

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01:14:02

Episode 141: How To Get Your Partner To Be More Romantic

Pillow Talks ·

2024/02/01

79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy at the beginning of a relationship, but feels so much harder to sustain long-term! In this episode, we’ll walk you through specific steps to get your partner to be more romantic. You’ll discover your toxic beliefs about romance, the ways you’re actually missing romantic gestures, and tons of specific romantic suggestions. We also asked men to tell us why they’re not more romantic, and what their

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59:01

Episode 140: What Your Sex Personality Type Says...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/01/25

You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ in Myers–Briggs. But do you know your personality type in the bedroom? Today we’re breaking down our Sex Personality Types model. Our 11 types help you understand what great sex means to you, and what you’re really looking to experience. We’ll help you figure out your type - and your partner’s! We’ll also tell you what to do if your types are different, because - spoiler alert - you probably are! Links

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59:47

Episode 139: Xander’s Vasectomy Part 2: Answering...

Pillow Talks ·

2024/01/18

Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want to hear his story.) This time we’re answering all your questions about the process from start to finish (literally, all 30 “finishes”). Did Xander have any pain during sex after the procedure? Did his sex drive change? Do his balls hang lower? Is his semen a different color, texture, or volume, and does it smell funny now? Did his vasectomy make him feel less masculine? Plus, we share tons of advice about

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46:39

Episode 138: Your Funniest Foreplay Fails

Pillow Talks ·

2024/01/11

We asked you to share your funniest foreplay fails, and you REALLY delivered! Today we’re sharing the dangers of jalapeños, why you shouldn’t chew gum during oral, and some bad Cosmo advice about armpits! But we couldn’t leave it at just your stories; we had to include some of our funniest fails as well. Trust us, you definitely want to hear what happened the very first time Vanessa ever gave someone a blowjob, and the time Xander didn’t really make it to foreplay… If you want to avoid your own

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01:07:31

Episode 137: Xander Got A Vasectomy!

Pillow Talks ·

2024/01/04

Xander got a vasectomy! By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how and why we decided to go this route, finding the right doctor, the procedure itself (including the truth about how painful it really was…), aftercare, and so much more. We also share some hilarious details about preparing for the procedure (including some truly bizarre pictures), Xander’s rant for the haters, and the post-procedure test that had Xander PANICKING! If you’ve ever wanted the inside scoop

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53:35

Episode 136: The Top 10 Pillow Talks Podcast Moments...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/12/28

2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our year, so what better way to celebrate than counting down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks in 2023? Take a stroll down memory lane to the moments when we couldn't stop laughing or could barely believe the words coming out of our mouths. Your support means the world to us and we can’t wait to keep growing this community. Happy New Year from all of us to all of you! Links & Resources: Check out our

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58:48

Episode 135: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition

Pillow Talks ·

2023/12/21

The first time we did Am I The Asshole it was a major success, so we knew we had to bring it back for a part two! In this special holiday edition, we’ve got more fiery takes on your craziest seasonal stories. We’re talking about in-laws, gift exchanges gone wrong, and a workplace Christmas party with a very important side note. Plus, a special guest joins us to weigh in on whether or not Vanessa is actually the holiday asshole… This is an episode you’ll definitely want to put on in the car on the

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01:00:10

Episode 134: Everything You’re Getting Wrong About...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/12/14

We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dynamics that can trip us up! What positions are best? How do you MOVE during it? What do you do if one of you can easily orgasm from intercourse, but the other can’t?! We asked our audience what their biggest frustrations are when it comes to intercourse, and we got back some surprising, and some not-so-surprising, answers. We struggled with intercourse early in our own relationship, so we related to a

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01:13:25

Episode 133: Dead Bedrooms Part 2: We Coach Another...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/12/07

“We’re just not having sex anymore...” If you’ve found yourself uttering (or even just thinking) this line, you’re not alone. So many couples will experience a loss of not just their sex life but intimacy altogether. When we released Dead Bedrooms Part One earlier this year, it instantly became one of our top episodes of all time. So we decided to bring it back for a Part Two with a brand new couple. In this episode, you get to take a peek into another couple’s bedroom as we help them navigate how

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01:14:12

Episode 132: Why We Started Making Out Every Night

Pillow Talks ·

2023/11/30

This episode is all about the most viral piece of content we’ve ever made - why we make out every single night before bed. Our two-minute video has amassed almost 20 million views on social, was talked about on daytime TV shows, and even landed us an interview with the New York Times. We had no idea that this topic would be so popular, but it clearly struck a nerve! So we decided to break our nightly ritual down for you in more detail and answer the most common questions we get asked. We’re spilling

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01:12:31

Episode 131: How Honest Is Too Honest?

Pillow Talks ·

2023/11/22

“What? I was just being honest!” This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered during conflicts between couples. We’ve all been taught to believe that honesty is a virtue, but let's be real, some of us are crossing the line between honesty into cruelty. In this episode, we asked you to tell us about the situations where your partner said something that felt cruel to you, or you said something to your partner that felt cruel to them. We’re giving you our hot takes on if it was honest or

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01:14:00

Episode 130: The Bristle Reaction, Icky Initiation,...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/11/16

In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller! Now that the book has been out for close to a year, we thought it was about time to sit down and share the feedback we’ve gotten from thousands of readers. In this episode, we’re giving you the five biggest takeaways from the book, including the shocking assumptions that you don’t realize are impacting your sex life, the dynamics that are ruining

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45:40

Episode 129: Do You Have Silent Sex? Here’s Why...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/11/09

Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex. Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly have sex where at least one partner is completely silent? This might not initially seem like a huge deal, but there are actually a number of drawbacks to having totally quiet sex. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down for you why you’re having silent sex, the benefits of making some noise in the bedroom, and some simple steps to help you get more comfortable

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59:56

Episode 128: Sneaky Ways To Get Your Partner More...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/11/02

Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on their phone and more time with you, or show you that they’re actively working on being a better partner? If so, you’re not alone. 70% of people are longing for a more involved partnership. We know — from personal experience — that getting your partner to be more active can feel challenging. Maybe you just don’t know how to start the conversation or how to

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01:08:32

Episode 127: Ask Us Anything: Spilling Our Business...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/10/26

This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doing the sex therapy business secrets edition! Let’s be real… business can sometimes be boring. So we asked our community to send in their nosiest questions. The questions they didn’t think we’d have the nerve to answer. We're pushing out of our comfort zone and answering questions like, do we ever get turned on while working? Have we ever regretted talking about something publicly? And do we ever have

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53:16

Episode 126: Queefing, And Farting, And Squirting, Oh...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/10/19

Is it normal to notice a bad odor after intercourse? What about queefing? How the heck does everyone else manage clean-up after sex? In this episode, we’re talking about all the unexpected things we experience during sex, but that no one ever talks about openly! We’re giving you the run-down on the most embarrassing bodily functions, how to avoid them, what to do in the moment when they happen, and reassurance that these things are perfectly normal. And we even round it out with some hilarious

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58:54

Episode 125: Am I The Asshole?

Pillow Talks ·

2023/10/12

Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our hot takes on some of the trickiest situations submitted by our audience. Tune in for stories about faking orgasms for 24 years, forgetting your partner's birthday, and even unknowingly being someone's first time! Grab your partner and join us for this entertaining episode that’s sure to get you debating right alongside us. Once you’re done listening, let us know your favorite story and whether or not you

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52:03

Episode 124: Is Your Sex Life Too Boring?

Pillow Talks ·

2023/10/05

Did you know that 86% of people worry that their sex life is too boring? It’s so easy to get caught up in anxiety about your sex life. You can’t help but wonder if everyone else is doing it more often than you are, or if they’re enjoying it more. And let’s be honest - it’s hard to get excited about doing the same thing, in the same place, at the same time, every time… In today’s episode, we’re sharing 5 secrets to shift sex with your partner from ho-hum to mind-blowing! Get ready for some simple but

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50:18

Episode 123: A Parent’s Guide To Making Time For Sex...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/09/28

Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hear is time. As a parent, everything becomes about the kids, and it feels like there’s no space or energy for intimacy. But your partner and the love you share are special, and deserve your time. So let’s talk about how to create that. We asked the parents in our audience to share their best advice for other parents, and we've prepared a buffet of tips to support you on your journey to reconnect! Tune

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