PODCAST

: lower black pain.

Jd Michaels - The CabsEverywhere Creative Production House

Life’s lemons into rich, dark chocolate. lowerblackpain.substack.com

society & culture performing arts

All Episodes

5:24

Comfort and Joy.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/12/07

Babies leak. They’re not really waterproof – I mean they are on the outside, but not exactly from the Inside.As soon to be parents we were told that there were two types of leaks in children: let’s just say chimneys and basements.We had a chimney baby, and took it in stride that we were responsible for maneuvering a soft uncovered pint glass filled with delicious formula. Every so often it might tip over, or we’d squeeze it a little and then gravity and physics took over and we were but peasants in

6:31

The Banquet.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/11/30

I took the class because it the name of it was “The History Of Film Comedy” and I thought that it might be fun, because I was a freshman and it was the only course available to me in the giant blue book of offerings that didn’t sound either impossible or overwhelming.First class; the professor introduces himself and goes straight into the life of Buster Keaton, who as a baby was part of his family’s vaudeville act by having two of his relatives each hold one arm and one leg and then swing swing TOSS

4:47

The Early Bird.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/11/22

9am. This year, the turkey is going into the oven at 9 am, because I am a responsible adult who can make that happen.And I’m not beginning the process at 9 - nope, that’s when the actual turkey is going into the oven.The pre-heated oven. So I’ll turn that on at 8:45. And the turkey will have to be prepared with the twine and the salt and the pepper, so I’ll start that at 8:30.The second thing to do on Thanksgiving morning is to start slowly simmering onions and celery and sage in olive oil…fill the

5:18

All That Shimmers.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/11/16

I’ve been thinking a great deal about flatware, which I called “silverware” until about five minutes ago. According to the dictionary, silverware only refers to flatware covered in actual silver, which means that I’ve eaten with “silverware” only a very few times. On special occasions and holidays, some families still pull out their silverware and a few pieces of the good china, but the effort involved is something most of us agree to only once or twice a year. Early family meals at my grandparents’

4:25

Happy Mealtime.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/11/09

I’ve never quite understood why people take pictures of their plates of food. Photography very effectively records events, but display – while delightful – is food’s least useful aspect, and photos do not hold smell, taste, nor significant nutrition. I do have two photos of me with a birthday cake. In one I’m 13, and the other I’m 49. In one, I am giddy and giggling with delight. In the other, I am 13 years old. Those were both really good cakes, and I distinctly remember the taste of each cake

2:03

A Quarter Rest

: lower black pain. ·

2023/11/02

The roller coaster of the year: Clackety clack clack CHUNK clack clack. It’s Spring. Clack chunk clack It’s Summer. And right now, when we start dressing in layers and appreciating cinnamon, is when the ride really starts. We rocket past pumpkins and turkeys, barrel through Black Friday and race through the glow of colored lights and fireworks until the ride suddenly PSSSSSSHSSSHH stops on January 2nd and slowly crawls back to that little dry dock where we all got on. Before all that happens, let

10:08

An Elegant Monster.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/10/31

Welcome, Honored Guest…to my Halloween special. It’s nothin’ fancy, like a 45, a single with two sides.(…while maintaining accessibility, I must inform you that a great deal of audio elements are involved: so you may want to listen as well!)First, I’d like to welcome my special guest, star of stage and screen, Mr. Vincent Price.I interviewed Vincent Price in college: I worked for the film studies center, and he came to town, and someone arranged an hour for us to interview him, and because I was

5:54

Grr. Arrgh.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/10/26

I’ve been working on my Halloween costume. It’s a little bit tricky, because I’m trying something new. I’m not wearing a costume this year as much as stepping into an identity... it’s a little hard to explain, and if I seem overly mysterious it’s because I don’t want to tell you exactly what I’m going to do just yet. I kind of want a “reveal” moment, and I have a little time left to keep working on it. Maybe I’ll have a little Halloween Special this year. That would be fun. I already know the title

9:14

The Closet of Dorian Gray.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/10/19

60 seems younger than 57. 57 is my Heinz year. It’s one of my three food slogan years.You get three food slogan years. You know that, right? 11 (herbs and spices), 31 (flavors) and 57 (Heinz).11 is when you come into your own, become a young adult, begin to navigate the chaos, at the start of the adventure;at 31, you accept the responsibilities of adulthood, begin to establish stability and reputation;and at 57, you put it all together, the total of innocence and experience, enthusiasm and

5:00

The Maddest Science.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/10/12

My daughter made me a pillow. She makes things.She got a doll one Christmas when she was seven and spent all of Boxing Day making a very detailed spaceship out of the box it came in, complete with a control panel and a small but elegant closet. Later, dissatisfied with plastic dreamhouses™, other dolls were lucky enough to live in an apartment building that she fashioned from a tall cardboard box, complete with a working elevator made from a smaller box, with furniture made of even smaller boxes and

4:43

Make a Boo Noise Here.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/10/05

Make a noise like a vampire.Chances are (inside your head) you either snarled or said the word “blah” in a technically inaccurate yet authentically dramatic Eastern European accent.Now, make a noise like a GHOST.“Boo!” Exactamundo. Ghosts say BOO.The Compact Oxford English Dictionary (the two volume blue one with the magnifying glass) doesn’t list the word “boo” at all; I had to refer to the app version, which cites a 1639 poem as one of the first formal usages of the word as an exclamation. Which

5:19

Freedom's Journal.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/09/28

I haven’t been on a school bus in a while: do they still have those super slick seats where you slide all over where the bus makes a turn – unless you’re wearing shorts, and then they stick to your legs like duct tape? Are they still cold in winter, and hot in summer, and super duper loud? That’s so cool. I didn’t get to ride them everyday, I either lived too far away or close to school, so my only opportunity to enjoy them was to and from field trips.Regular schoolwork is exposure and repetition;

6:42

One School Room.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/09/21

There is a small park in Queens, New York, on the site of the borough’s last one room schoolhouse. Built in 1879, just five years after citywide compulsory education had been established, the small building held six rows of nine desks, with each row being a different grade level, starting with the youngest. The students were mostly farmer’s kids from the area. There was a blackboard and a US flag and a potbellied stove to keep the kids warm in winter. There was not a bathroom.Only ten miles away

5:03

No Recess.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/09/14

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of children wearing Nirvana shirts.By children, I mean people younger than, say 26 and a half, and by Nirvana, I mean the essential 1990’s American grunge rock band.The band, if you’re not familiar, is an icon of raw emotion, unfiltered and in most ways we use the word, genius. Words that are poetry mixed with tunes that are musical. You don’t get either of those all the time anymore, but this particular combination was…well, it was an anthem to those who felt lost in a

5:04

Blerd Association.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/09/07

First day of the school year here in Brooklyn. Lunch has been packed, the pencils sharpened, a brand new Keeper has been Trapped. I know I’m not the one going, but it’s exciting nonetheless, anticipating new homework and classes and conversations and memories being made, like when Potatohead made that ridiculous face that we all found hysterical at lunch. Ah, Potatohead.I was not a fan of homework as a child. I am not a fan of homework today either. I did enjoy “word problems”, challenges that put

5:04

a.s. summer.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/08/31

I find no state of being quite as deeply insulting as insomnia.Because it isn’t just about being awake; it’s about the knowing the state I’ll be in the following day. I know exactly what 3PM is going to look like when I’m up at 3AM, which is immediately stressful, bringing a tide of adrenaline that self-perpetuates the situation. Oh sure, I might drag myself into work, but by 11:30 I’ll be struggling, and by 2PM consciousness falls and the world drifts into a haze of low noise and deep inner

4:06

Renovate.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/08/24

Somewhere in Peru, an aged schoolbus with no working windows (all permanently open or closed) roughly winds its way along a jungle road, picking up villagers on their way to or from the market. Loaded with baggage and animals and children and laughter, it is a loud, bumpy, and uncomfortable ride, yet so much a part of the community that every passenger experiences a warm familiarity.So last week, I could have squeezed my way onto that subway train, surrounded on all sides, hands full of grocery

5:04

The Workplace.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/08/17

I’ve been stationed in many a cubicle in my work life: beige, grey, light green (I think that was my favorite), each a definitive non-statement of industrial design, constructed from canvas and oddly non-magnetic steel, semi-surrounding us like parentheses.It’s the evolution of sitting at one’s desk in a classroom. The desk was never really yours, you just sat there. But often one found the names of past inhabitants written or (even more boldly) carved into the wooden desktop, concave letters

4:53

Latitude.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/08/10

My junior high daughter has started doing math for fun, so I guess that summer is coming to a close. Not quite the swallows coming home to Capistrano, but it does indicate that it’s probably time to wrap it up and get ready for the rest of the year.Summer has been what it always is in the core of the northern hemisphere; dependably warm and lush, tree-wise. It’s strange to think that it’s snowing in Argentina: it’s 37 degrees in Ushuaia right now. (I did look that up. Ushuaia. I don’t have the

3:36

Fulton Street.

: lower black pain. ·

2023/08/03

languid: exhibiting a natural disinclination to physical exertion; leisurely; unhurriedUnder a giant beach umbrella in a sturdy beach chairsits a woman wearing a wide brimmed hat and sunglasseswho sips something very coldthrough a colorful strawfrom a very tall glasswhich she sets downlightlyon the little white table beside herso that she may continue toread a book,languidly.I’ve read booksI’ve been on a beachand I’ve even worn a pretty big hatbut as of yet have not hit the tremendous trifectaof

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