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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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All Episodes

38:39

The best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being immediately ridiculed by the home crowd, the nichest FA Cup draw content you will ever consume, more average mid-90s English wingers’ names in things and Richard Keys going 80% Partridge as he presents from the 1988 Motor Show.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a club legend would have to do

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41:10

An educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded...

Football Cliches ·

2024/12/03

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a headed goal, a commentator lets down Robbie Savage very gently, former Blackburn wingers' names implicated in boat murders, the first ever goal uploaded to YouTube, a Harry Redknapp headline for the ages and Keys & Gray visit the Qatar Grand Prix.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the minimum

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47:49

Sunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/28

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are free-kick decoy duties in Sunday League, predicting the moment the "olés" are about to start as a team sees out a comfortable win, the delicate act of picking balanced teams for 5-a-side, football's vandalism of the word "decimated", minute's applause that begin in the wrong

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44:40

5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/26

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to break into the app market.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive Manchester City defeats it

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89:43

The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/21

The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transfers

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38:54

59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/19

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.Meanwhile, the panel gauge the

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64:23

Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy":...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/14

The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players'

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38:24

xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/12

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League Please VOTE for Football

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45:14

The Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/07

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new

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45:14

”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/11/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners. Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of

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44:38

Curses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/30

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.Meanwhile, the panel

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43:48

Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/29

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends. Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager

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67:49

Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/23

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper,

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45:14

Salah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/22

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the

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80:31

The definitive game for every football scoreline

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/17

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline. A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana. Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons,

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41:07

Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/14

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places.Meanwhile, the panel provide a

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80:13

Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/10

The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia. The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that never were, the 1997 Sony MiniDisc Euro Sixes, the agonising audio of mystery missed sitters, surprisingly unmemorable Premier League mascots, Happy

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45:14

Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/08

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on Richard Keys' claim to have watched every Premier League game ever. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the most “you could see what he was trying to do there”

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74:50

First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/10/03

The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Ellis's selections are football fans with their first names printed on the back of their shirts, random football shirts popping up in unexpected places, the dubious criteria of the ongoing FootyScran project and, quite simply, everything about fantasy football. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel weigh up if a goalkeeper

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44:29

An incredible football birthday card, Dutch...

Football Cliches ·

2024/09/30

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" by Tim Sherwood, rugby union claiming a try was a "screamer" and Mick McCarthy going into the jungle.Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define what it

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219 results

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