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PODCAST

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and

business management

All Episodes

27:49

Falsely Blamed? How to Protect Yourself and Respond

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/12/14

Exploring Targets of Blame and How to Best Manage ThemBill and Megan tackle the challenging topic of being a target of blame from a high conflict individual. They provide insight into protecting yourself and managing difficult accusations.In this eye-opening episode, Bill and Megan define what it means to be a target of blame and how this manifests. They discuss tactics for minimizing your risk of becoming a target, as well as managing situations where false accusations spread. The hosts

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53:54

Civil Communications for Lawyers and Law Offices

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/12/07

Effective Communication for Legal ProfessionalsBill, Megan, and their guest Rehana Jamal – and Bill’s co-author – dive into strategies for clear, civil communication in the legal field. They aim to provide practical tools that lawyers, court staff, and anyone interacting with the justice system can use right away.The episode focuses on BIFF, the High Conflict Institute's proven method for responding to emotionally-charged messages. Bill lays out the BIFF framework and walks through examples

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22:50

Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/11/23

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan provide guidance for coping with the complicated emotions that can arise when a high conflict person passes away. They cover the confusing mix of grief and relief family members often feel, how to handle being blamed after the loss, and the destabilization that can occur when a high conflict adult child loses a parent.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you handle the blend of grief and relief after the death of a high conflict

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26:30

The Art of Mindful Engagement: Using EAR Statements...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/11/16

De-escalating High Conflict People with EAR Statements: An insightful look at calming down difficult situationsIn this episode, Bill and Megan dive into how to use EAR statements (showing empathy, attention, and respect) to de-escalate high conflict people and situations. They discuss the different high conflict personality types and when EAR statements can be effective tools. Bill and Megan also talk about combining EAR statements with limit setting, and when it's best to just disengage

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23:23

Floundering Into Adulthood: Overcoming Alienation and...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/11/09

Finding Your Way as a Young Adult with a High-Conflict ParentIn this week's episode, Bill and Megan discuss the challenges many young adults face when launching into independent adulthood after growing up with a high-conflict parent.Bill and Megan have noticed an uptick in parents saying their young adult children are floundering after high school. While there are many contributing factors, a common thread seems to be having a parent with a high-conflict personality. This can significantly

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23:21

When Grandkids Get Caught in High Conflict

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/11/02

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle questions from grandparents struggling to support grandchildren amidst high conflict co-parents.Protecting Kids from Raging Co-ParentsFirst, they advise how grandparents can help shield kids from a raging, unstable parent. Recommendations include teaching emotional regulation, self-checking, and conflict management skills. Stay positive about the high conflict parent.Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex Long-TermNext is

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34:18

Manipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/10/26

Podcast hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle listener questions about antisocial personality disorder. Bill clarifies common myths.Recognizing Antisocial Patterns in a SpouseThe first section covers a listener asking how to respond to a psychiatrist claiming their spouse doesn't have antisocial traits. Bill explains professionals can get manipulated by antisocials' victim stories. Key antisocial patterns include blaming, aggression, rule-breaking, and lying. Make your own assessment

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24:29

Surviving High Conflict Divorce, Custody Battles, and...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/10/19

Navigating High Conflict Divorce and Co-ParentingIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy answer listener questions to provide guidance on high conflict divorce and co-parenting dilemmas.Ending a Divorce Dispute with a Self-Unaware ExThe first response is to a listener asking how to finalize a divorce when a spouse lacks self-awareness. Bill explains not to expect insight from highly manipulative people. He advises weighing options and setting limits versus

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22:14

Over the Fence: High Conflict Neighbor Disputes

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/10/12

Keeping the Peace with High Conflict NeighborsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy tackle strategies for dealing with turbulent neighbor relationships driven by high conflict personalities.Responding to False Allegations Between NeighborsThe episode opens with a listener question about two neighbors targeting each other – one with possible borderline/narcissistic traits and the other with paranoid, histrionic, and antisocial tendencies. Bill emphasizes

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23:40

Family Feuds: Navigating High Conflict Personality...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/10/05

Navigating High-Conflict Family DynamicsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute tackle challenging questions about high-conflict family members.Helping a Child with Emotion DysregulationThe first section covers a listener question about a 6-year-old daughter exhibiting emotional dysregulation similar to the possible borderline personality disorder (BPD) traits of her grandmother. Bill and Megan explain why a child that young

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23:27

Caught in the Crossfire: Escaping High Conflict...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/09/28

Understanding High Conflict Contagion Through Projection and Emotional SpreadIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute discuss high conflict contagion through examining psychological projection and emotional spread.Bill and Megan explain projection, where someone unconsciously projects their own feelings or behaviors onto another person. They share examples of how this manifests in workplace, family, and relationship conflicts,

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22:17

Workplace Gaslighting: Two-Person Conflict or One...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/09/21

Identifying High-Conflict People vs. Mutual Conflict at WorkIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss how to identify when workplace conflict is driven by a high-conflict person rather than being a mutual disagreement. They share research-based strategies from the High Conflict Institute.Bill and Megan explain how to demonstrate to management that conflict is one-sided rather than two employees having a spat. They discuss options for addressing issues

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26:39

Group Dynamics Decoded: Taming High Conflict Drama...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/09/14

High Conflict Dynamics in Groups: Navigating Drama and Setting LimitsWelcome back to 'It's All Your Fault', the podcast from the High Conflict Institute. In this episode, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy delve into the complex world of group dynamics when a high conflict personality is involved. They shed light on how to handle a high conflict person who is dominating a group and creating drama, drawing from a listener's question.Dealing with High Conflict Drama in GroupsHow does one handle a

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31:46

High Conflict Under the Microscope: Unveiling New...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/09/07

Kicking Off Season 3: Summer Reflections and High Conflict InsightsWelcome back to Season 3 of 'It's All Your Fault', the insightful podcast from the High Conflict Institute. Co-hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter start this season with a deep dive into their key learnings from their summer break.Unpacking Summer Lessons on High Conflict BehaviorIn this episode, Bill and Megan share their experiences and insights gained during their summer hiatus. They delve into recognizing high conflict

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48:42

REBROADCAST: 10 Paradigm Shifts of High Conflict...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/08/31

Mediating high conflict disputes requires a shift from many standard mediation approaches. When one or more of the parties has a high conflict personality, the process should have more structure and focus away from common mediation topics, such as emotions, the past, and interests, and instead focus more strictly on problem-solving. By having the clients participate more actively in the process – and the mediator serve more as a guide for their active participation – they are more likely to

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31:06

REBROADCAST: The New Elephant in the Room:...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/08/17

Personality disorders are mystifying to those unfamiliar with them, and even to some in the mental health profession, although with copious amounts of information online about them these days, everyone acts like an expert and the terminology is bandied about with authority. It’s sticky and fascinating information. Unexplainable behaviors can quickly be explained away as narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorder types. Once that thought happens, it’s easy to develop

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26:20

Walking Away

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/08/03

Some relationships with high conflict people reach a point where the only one getting frustrated and hurt is YOU. It is okay to walk away? Are some relationships so damaging that staying in them is damaging to you? Will the guilt draw you back under their spell? Will it trigger abandonment, inferiority, or other issues in the person with a high conflict personality, and possibly backfire on you? Bill and Megan discuss this tricky topic in relation to family, friend and other relationships

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27:27

Apology Quicksand

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/07/27

It’s not unusual that high conflict people demand an apology from a reasonable person who has attempted to set limits on them, such as a supervisor in a workplace dispute or someone in a neighbor dispute. While apologies resolve many disputes between reasonable people, they are a much different matter with HCPs and usually need to be avoided. However, don’t be surprised that high conflict people frequently will demand an apology from another party, at times saying that they cannot move

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30:08

HOA Headaches with High Conflict Complaints

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/07/20

What do you do when a community resident or homeowner calls with complaints as consistently as the sun rises and sets? Some are chronic complainers but easily handled with some attention and/or humor.But what if you have a persistent complainer who watches the neighbors like a hawk and insists that all homeowners follow HOA regulations to the letter of the law? And complains to HOA management with any and all violations or perceived violations, with expectations of punishment and

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24:59

REBROADCAST: TikTok Famous: Parental Alienation and...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/07/13

While We Wait on the Court’s Decision...New information regarding the alleged child abuse from the father has come to light, causing the judge to delay his order enforcing the father’s custody of Ty and Brynlee Larson. While we wait on the results, we return to our episode from earlier this year to discuss the ins and outs of the case while we’re still on our hiatus.Alienation in UtahHigh-conflict situations often include extreme behaviors and the case we’ll discuss in this episode is a

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