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PODCAST

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom

Marcy Larson, MD

When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson"s 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

56:30

Episode 222: Jimmy & Chrissy's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/12/08

Legacy is defined as the long-lasting impact of particular events or actions taking place in the past or in a person’s life. I have been thinking a lot about that word recently. On December 5th, we had the first Andy Larson Memorial Concert. Our featured artist, Will Liverman, along with his accompanist, Jonathan King, gave us an amazing night that will never be forgotten. A tradition has been started that will honor not only Andy's legacy but that of so many children whose lives were cut short

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01:02:04

Episode 221: Nick's Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/12/07

When David's son, Nick, was 7 years old, he was having struggles in school causing him to have self-doubt. One night, Nick asked, "Dad, Is there something wrong with me?" Before David laid him down to sleep, David told him, "You're the best 7-year-old boy in the whole wide world, and your daddy loves you." The next morning and every morning afterward before he went to work, David would go into Nick's room and repeat this phrase. Each year the number would go up by one, but the every morning

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56:54

Episode 220: Lydia's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/11/30

After Daphne's 5-year-old daughter, Lydia, was killed in a car accident 15 years ago, Daphne struggled to find any hope. She dreaded looking at her daughter's closed bedroom door. Her therapist gave her a bit of advice that she still lives out all these years later. Daphne's therapist told her to 'sprinkle a little bit of Lydia' throughout the house so Daphne did. She put Lydia's favorite nail polish on the counter and hung Lydia's feather boa on her curtains. She worked to leave little bits of her

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01:05:51

Episode 219: Thanksgiving Grief

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/11/23

‘What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?’ This is a question that I have been asked dozens, if not a couple hundred times over the past month. They want to know if we are traveling. They want to know if we are hosting for Thanksgiving. They want to tell me their Thanksgiving plans. It is simply polite conversation during the month of November. What’s interesting for me is that no one in my life has thought to ask me, “How are you doing this Thanksgiving?” No one has asked how we might

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01:06:07

Episode 218: Devin's Parents

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/11/16

'What if?' This question haunts many bereaved parents long after their child dies. My 'what if' questions tend to be: What if I hadn't let him change before we left for the game? What if I had picked up the ticket so we didn't need or stop at the office? Or even what if we picked him up from soccer practice instead of carpooling home? For others, the 'what if' questions might be: What if I had taken him to the doctor sooner? What if I had listened more? Or what if I had done this one thing

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01:06:03

Episode 217: Dane's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/11/09

Some of my favorite interviews are ones where the child whose story we tell reminds me of my Andy. I tend to get a little more emotional during those interviews because I am reminded of stories in my own past. I feel a special connection to these mothers as I see a little of myself in them. This is one of those special interviews, and Jackie is one of those moms who I feel like I already have a deep connection with despite having only an hour long Zoom conversation. Dane, like Andy, was a kid who

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01:09:23

Episode 216: Artin's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/11/02

Vickielly's son, Artin, lived for only 20 hours when he was born last year, but those 20 hours changed her forever. The compassion that she developed for others who are suffering reached new levels. From Vickielly's 20 week ultrasound, she and her husband knew that Artin would not be a 'normal' baby. With hypoplastic left heart syndrome, they expected a long NICU stay and multiple surgeries. Unfortunately, complications developed during birth and Artin suffered severe brain damage. Their long NICU

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01:04:44

Episode 215: TT's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/10/26

If you watch the video of this week's podcast on YouTube or watch clips on the AlwaysAndysMom Instagram account this week, you will see a beautiful picture of Andrea's daughter, Taylor (also known as TT) sitting right behind her. On the picture, are these amazing words, 'You will never be forgotten. I promise.' That is our goal as bereaved parents, isn't it? We want to make sure that however short or long our child's time was on this earth, we want it to have mattered. We want them remembered

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58:55

Episode 214: Ethan's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/10/19

Timing. It is said that timing is everything. Although timing may not be everything, it does make a great impact on so much in life The other day, I lost a precious earring that my husband had given to me as a gift. We looked and looked for the earring thinking it was gone forever, but timing (with perhaps a little help from heaven) saved my earring. At the moment that it fell out of my ear, I had a grocery bag over my right shoulder even though I normally carry bags on my left. That earring fell at

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54:50

Episode 213: Eric C's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/10/12

When faced with a storm, cows and buffaloes react in quite different ways. As the storm approaches, cows gather and attempt to run away from the storm. By doing this, the cow actually ends up running with the storm, thus spending more time and misery in the storm itself. A buffalo, on the other hand, waits for the crest of the storm to arrive and then runs straight into it. Although the buffalo may actually feel the intensity of the storm more acutely, it will actually spend less time in the storm

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01:06:01

Episode 212: Vulnerability and Grief

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/10/05

Vulnerability is defined by dictionary.com as 'willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known; willingness to risk being emotionally hurt'. It is a wonder that anyone would ever allow themselves to be vulnerable. If you are a grieving person who is already in seemingly unbearable pain, why would you ever even want to put yourself in a position where you put yourself at risk for being emotionally hurt? If we believe that definition, we would likely all build a big wall

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01:02:43

Episode 211: Austin & Kurt's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/09/28

No one wants to be a drug addict. No one would choose that for themselves. It is a really hard life. Each day is spent worrying about how you can get more drugs or get the money to get more drugs. After the addiction takes hold, it no longer feels like a choice to take the drug. It is a need. The most tragic piece is that as the addiction takes hold, the risk of death by overdose increases as well. Today's guest, Christine, has a tragic story of two sons, Kurt and Austin. Kurt began using marijuana

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55:25

Episode 210: Alonna's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/09/21

For the first three months after Angela lost her daughter, Alonna, Angela said that she was in a fog and did not move. Alonna was shot and killed just as she was being dropped off to attend a bonfire at a friend's house. Unbeknownst to her, Alonna was arriving just as an altercation was beginning in the front yard. Angela's amazing, talented, and beloved daughter was gone, and Angela didn't know how to continue living herself. Months passed without Angela even being able to stay in her own home

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57:01

Episode 209: Shrinidhi's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/09/14

Silence is deafening. Freedom is imprisonment. These are the first words that today's guest, Suma, wrote in her journal after her 18-year-old daughter, Shrinidhi died. Although Shrinidhi was never able to walk, talk or even use her hands, the family's home was always bustling with noise and happiness. After Shrinidhi unexpectedly died in her sleep, the silence was indeed, deafening. Since Shrinidhi's diagnosis of Rett syndrome at the age of 2, Suma's life revolved around helping her daughter live

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01:00:29

Episode 208: Vincent's Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/09/07

When I see a cardinal flying around me, I believe it is a little 'sign' of Andy. I have many stories of cardinals, including two recent ones that came just when I needed them. Friends of mine who are bereaved parents have similar stories of things that remind them of their children. Seeing hearts in nature, rainbows, and the colors orange and purple are just a few of them. Now I have another thing to add to the list - pacifiers. Yes, pacifiers. I have spoken to a lot of dads over the past four

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58:44

Episode 207: Cadence's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/08/31

Ally's life changed in the blink of an eye just 6 months ago when her 20-year-old daughter and best friend, Cadence, was killed in a tragic car accident. Talking with Ally last month brought me back to those early days, weeks and months after losing Andy. Outsiders may have a hard time understanding this, but after losing your child, you feel like you are living your whole life in a fog. Nothing about life makes sense anymore. Things, places and activities that brought you comfort and joy in the

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01:00:22

Episode 206: Maksymilian's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/08/24

Today's guest, Aga, compares her life of grief to living in a deep, dark forest. She says that she longs to see light. Occasionally, bits of light do find their way down through all of the darkness, but then, in an instant, the light disappears, and she is left in the darkness again. I love this analogy so much because it emphasizes the unpredictability of having those moments of light and how brief and fleeting they can often be. Aga will be the first to say that she had a stressful life when her

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01:01:13

Episode 205: Five Years Later

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/08/17

Five years later. There aren't words to describe the heaviness of this day. I got an email from my father-in-law saying that he felt like their lives ended when they received the phone call that night. I couldn't agree more. The family we are now is not the one we were 5 years ago. From the outside, we may look the same. We still go up north to the cottage, go tubing in the boat, and eat Grandpa's famous ribs, but we aren't the same. There is a hole there that people don't want to acknowledge. I

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01:01:52

Episode 204:Ashley's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/08/10

Every week before I release a new podcast episode, I listen to the full episode one last time in order to get one or two take-home points that I can write about to accompany the podcast release. I know that some people will never listen to the episode and only read these paragraphs either through Facebook, Instagram, or my email list. I have been told that sometimes listening is just too painful and reading the little introduction is all that people can handle. Today, I have a problem. I would need

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55:33

Episode 203: Corban's Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2023/08/03

"I'm gonna leave." This is such an innocent phrase. It is something that Chester's son, Corban, likely said to his parents hundreds of times over his 21 years of life. It meant that he was going somewhere - to school, to the movies, maybe just out with friends. He was going somewhere specific. That is why it was so healing for Chester when he learned that these were the last words that Corban said to the first responders seconds before he died. Corban had been in a car accident and had been speaking

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