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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:13

George and a certain little prince

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He got shipwrecked and marooned a lot. Sometimes, so marooned, not even a downed pilot in the middle of the Sahara Desert could be more marooned. So, imagine the shock of him being asked by a little boy to draw him a sheep. "I thought I was alone on this deserted island!" shouted George. This distracted George long enough not to notice a plane passing overhead, which he could have signalled for help. But that didn't matter. The pilot ended up

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1:12

George garage sale

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When a pirate broke something, they'd toss it overboard. But when it was still useful, they'd throw it in the cargo hold. The hold eventually filled up with all kinds of junk and clutter. There was no room left for cannonballs and powder and other vital pirate stuff. So, George suggested a garage sale. "But we don't have a garage," said the captain. George dug a saw out of the hold and started to cut a garage door into the hull. The captain

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10:31

Weekly Challenge #999 – Webcam

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/15

RichardLisa Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is narrow LISA Cleaning Up Gordon did not trust his cleaner one bit and was desperate for a reason to sack her so put webcams up in every room hoping to catch her out. Whilst cleaning his office she saw the feed of all the rooms on his laptop and heard Gordon on the phone to a woman that wasn’t his wife. She recorded the rest of the conversation on her phone. The next week she found an incriminating

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1:14

George and his new mentor

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Sure, it would have been easy for the captain to make George walk the plank and then replace him with a new recruit. But the captain had invested a lot of time, money, and patience in George. So, he hired Greybeard, the finest Professor of Pirateology, to teach George all he knew. Two weeks later, Graybeard quit. "The fool is utterly confused," he said. "George needs the fundamentals, not advanced theory." The captain sighed, picked up a mop and

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1:11

George worships

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/13

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Instead of training and skill, he relied on faith. And if offering his loyalty to one god would help, then offering his loyalty to more would help even more. So, he worshiped all the gods. Every one of them. And not just the sea gods. Every single god in human history. From dawn until dusk, and into a good part of the night, George said prayers, made burnt offerings, and conducted strange rituals. Then, one day, George gave up. Laying on the

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1:13

George wins the lottery

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Out of habit, he bought a Powerball ticket, and he went out to sea. That night, his number was drawn. The store owner reviewed his security camera, and it revealed George as the winner. Oblivious to this miracle, George went about his usual routine. Whenever a ship with reporters approached, George's shipmates subdued and gagged them. And they'd steal their equipment and make ransom demands. After a year at sea, George returned to port, but the

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1:11

George goes to Japan

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When Admiral Perry opened Japan to Western commerce, he also opened it to Western piracy. George tried his hand at robbing Japanese ships. But all he ever got were boatloads of fish, swords, and kimonos. The kimonos were too small to fit George or his shipmates, not that pirates wear kimonos. The swords looked cool, but they were horribly fragile. George went through a crate of them in a week. Which left George with a lot of dead fish. George

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1:13

George and the cats

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/10

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd rather sit on the dock, feeding bits of fish to the cats who roamed there. When he'd find a sick or hurt one, he'd care for it, and take it to the local veterinarian. Some made it. Others didn't. He'd take a shovel to the woods, dig a hole by a his favorite tree, and carefully bury them. "Their tenth lives are our memories of them," he'd whisper, the closest thing to a prayer he knew. Then he'd walk back to the dock, to the ship, and

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1:23

George and the magical tea

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/09

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate "Here, drink this," said the captain. "It's a magical tea." So, George drank it. And vomited. But he became strong and bold. One day, George followed the captain to the Chinese herbalist shop... but the captain went to the woodmaker's shop next door. "Another bag of sawdust," said the captain. George was stunned. It was fake? Dejected, he went back to the ship. "Idiot keeps throwing up on the deck and not over the rail," the captain said. "So

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10:44

Weekly Challenge #998 – You stink!

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/08

RichardLisa Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is webcam LISA Trolling Trolling Trolling After adding a filter Sherry uploaded the photo and waited for the influx of comments and messages. She believed everything horrible posted; it was only a fresh flurry of negativity that washed the first lot away. She counted the negative comments as they came in. Already they were up to 25 in just three minutes. As usual, she hovered over Delete Post. Then a

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1:05

George the Scout

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/07

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The ship's captain sent George out on a lot of "scouting missions." Which were really just to get rid of the accident-prone George. George would wander the place around for several days, looking for treasure, but he always ended up finding trouble. Even though it was a huge relief to the crew not to have George on board and screwing things up. Eventually, George would return, chased by an angry mob. "Pull the gangplank and raise anchor!" shouted

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1:12

George memorials

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/06

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He has no gravesite. No, he wasn't buried at sea. His body was burned, and the ashes scattered. That way, there would not be a grave for his followers to revere. Over the years, many memorials to George have been built. Piles of flowers, greeting cards, and stuffed teddy bears. Cheap candles in cheap tin holders. And the authorities have torn them all down. Shadowy figures meet in dark alleys. Exchanging secret handshakes, speaking secret

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1:08

George the good pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was good to animals, though. He didn't eat meat, and avoided products that exploited animals, such as milk or cheese. His clothes were all natural fibers like hemp, not leather. When he wasn't out at sea, he volunteered at a sanctuary for parrots that had been rescued from cruel pirates. Rehabilitating as many as he could back into the wild, while caring for those who were too injured or domesticated to go back to their natural

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1:20

George stares

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/04

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He seemed distracted, looking out over the rail and staring at... nothing. Only George knew what he was looking at... the memory of a beautiful woman, walking naked on the beach. But he said nothing. He just stared. So, the rest of the crew looked out over the rail and stared. Nobody noticed the British Navy frigate closing in from the other side. However, as they approached, they saw the pirates all staring, and they too stared that way.. No

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1:14

George on CNN

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. CNN's Jeanne Moos did a profile on George, but made him out to be a complete assclown of a pirate. George was furious. "I do not fall overboard that often," he growled. "And I only dropped my cutlass twice." He filed a complaint, which the network ignored. So, George took a CNN crew hostage and demanded a ransom and retraction. "Go ahead, kill them," said the CNN executives. "They're worthless." George posted their callous response on

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1:15

George pirate qualities

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/02

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Write a list of all the things that come to mind when you think of the word pirate. George is none of those. Not a single one of them. Unless, of course, you are crazy. Then, I'm sure George will be a few of the things on your list. So will a cockroach, a bowl potato salad, the Planet Neptune, and the smell of freshly-washed bedsheets. Yes, you can read more George stories. Would you like to draw me a picture of George? Okay. Here's a crayon. Go

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12:33

Weekly Challenge #997 – Pack

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/06/01

RichardLisa Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is You stink! LISA We’d just gone out for some smokes. That was all. It’s not like there’s much else to do when the powers out is there? It was a hot day – tempers had been frayed. Then the air con stopped working. Alarms started beeping down the street. I tried a light switch and nothing! They called us animals in court. Like we’d hunted in a pack. Scapegoats is what we were. They were making an example

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1:31

George the king of comedy

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/31

... and that's 20 years.George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. "You're the Jerry Lewis of pirates," grumbled his exasperated captain. The rest of the crew laughed. Except for Frenchy, who said that George was no Jerry Lewis. George looked up Jerry Lewis in the encyclopedia and learned about a technique called "video assist." Directors could watch instant reviews of shots instead of waiting for the crew to develop and print the daily footage. George tried it with his performance But

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1:16

George and the groupies

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/30

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. To pirate groupies, he was pirate enough. Oh, you've seen them, there at the taverns and bars, hanging out at the docks. The beer might be free, but the price you pay is an STD, or even worse, a long-term relationship. Pirates who settle down just aren't the same. They can't just go out on adventures and looting and pillaging, no matter how much they want to. They've got familiars, mortgages, bills to pay. Which makes the urge to get back to the

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1:25

George does laundry

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/29

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Especially on laundry day. If there weren't any open washing machines, he'd dump someone's finished load out on the floor and toss in his own. How dare they make him wait? It's called a timer. Even though the washing machines said liquid only, he'd fill the little detergent drawer with powder. And he'd overload the machine, cramming as much as he could in there. No available dryers? Another finished load tossed on the floor. The worst of it was

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