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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

A raw and hilarious dive into mental illness, family chaos, awkward sexual experiences, current events, gossip, and the political dumpster fire we’re all forced to live in.

comedy improv

All Episodes

89:25

239: I'm Sorry Officer

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/12/23

The hangout was a success, making your partner a mixtape is true love, Crystal got to share some holiday spirit and Santa has been commodified. Bingo gets SERIOUS, practice proper pharmacy etiquette, Peez is loving cuss words and Pata Fria has been having some terrible dreams. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and

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84:08

238: Watermelon and Hammer Pants

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/12/16

We’re back after a month. The flu is not playing fair, Crystal is hit with tragedy once again and losing Carl was a loss for so many. Who’s doing the hiring at Richmond Kaiser, Crystal is enjoying a new meat, Charlene had a favorite roadside hustler and don’t support soft white underbelly. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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87:19

237: Product of a Sex Appointment

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/12/03

Crystal has on cute socks and Pata Fria is losing her voice. Migraines can ruin your life, toddlers are insane, coffee and books have been the vibe this week and boycotting works. Oil pulling has begun, men are not ok, Hollywood is full of pedos and abusers and this week we got some great write ins. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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71:54

236: Another Horny Scorpio

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/11/25

Pata Fria’s whole house is sick, wear your shoes while you can because they crumble, beware of the Bernie’s and please keep spreading the truth about this genocide. Client flashbacks are fun, Crystal has been making more friends, the older you get the less clingy you are and exposure therapy really works. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month

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103:04

235: Thank You White People

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/11/10

Mark is on a honeymoon with his mom, FREE PALESTINE, always acknowledge rock ‘n roll, STD’s have a dark origin, discovering new coffees is fun and diaper rash cream saves the day. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our Patreon!

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60:40

234: Happy Halloween

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/11/03

Happy Halloween guys!! Pata Fria is having a really rough menstrual moment, when working with old folks maybe leave your bad attitude at home, teenage house parties are NOT a good time and unfortunately most beauty treatments come with risks. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your

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91:54

233: It's My Birthday

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/10/27

Xmas tree scented candle got us in the spirit, Crystal doesn’t deserve the amount of poop she has to deal with, never trust a sneaky bum and do not wear super curved toenails. FREE PALESTINE, censorship is out of control, while joking kids are always off limits and ghosts are still showing off. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to

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80:49

232: Insatiable

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/10/20

FREE PALESTINE. Karma is gonna get shady car mechanics., our priorities are not in order, school stuff is stressful and bidets are fun. Don’t outshine the birthday girl, whale watching is coming soon, celebrities are doing way too much lately and industry plants might be a thing. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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78:33

231: Funky Clown

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/10/13

FREE PALESTINE. Busy days are rough, black mold is dangerous, kids should not be dealing w discrimination in 2023 and Peez is really a ray of sunshine. Beware of creepy men, violent exes and celebrities that need you to send them money. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your

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74:53

230: Happy Birthday HD

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/10/06

Twinkle twinkle…it’s been 5 whole years! Thank you to everyone that’s been with us for the ride. Crystal has a typical Hello Dysfunction encounter. Pata Fria finally cracks an ongoing case. Hugs to anyone that grew up with a mean grandpa or has kids that have scared you to death while hiding. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to

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94:51

229: Possible Meteor

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/09/28

Pata Fria is feeling like vertigo, Crystal has had ENOUGH. Carolyn makes a gruesome discovery and once again our girl is called in for duty. Keep your creepy friends away, be careful when using harsh chemicals, rebounding is amazing exercise and it’s sad when you ruin your favorite restaurant. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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74:31

228: She's Hot

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/09/22

Dogs are a huge responsibility. Crystal is still trying to re-home a really great fur baby. Disneyland for Peez was an amazing time and podcasts are perfect listening for road trips. Twitter has brought a lot of us together, updates about dumping jerks are awesome, traumatic visual flashbacks are terrible and please don’t drive in flip flops. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG:

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106:21

227: I'm Coming, Daddy

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/09/15

Old fashioned training diapers were painful. Manners are SO important. We need to go on a Midwest thrifting tour and Crystal is ready to call 911 at ALL times. Don’t ask your friends for discounts, don’t pick up snakes you don’t know, don’t send your kids with the Boy Scouts and don’t stay with a partner that wants to split every cost with you. Check out this weeks sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our

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82:31

226: Stop Talking

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/09/08

Crystal needs to CHILL OUT. Peez is having a big girl week. Teach your kids to keep their hands off other ppl’s property and we’ve updated some things on Patreon. IG is following accounts on it’s own, vaping is more dangerous that we realized, some of these kids games are advertising s*x games and Covid is back in town. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your

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62:10

225: Trig

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/09/01

Mosquitos are attacking. We’re on YouTube. Corn really angers Crystal and Pata Fria wants a stud farmer. Since it’s available, everyone should be using full body deodorant. Stop remaking movies. Technology is killing is and our government is a joke. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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96:04

224: Drippy Drippy

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/08/26

Hot weather sucks. Don’t hang out near people’s front door. Peez is a singer, anonymous harassment is cowardly and technology is getting scary. Tempers are short, Bay Area bippers are out of control and we don’t really mind if you want to have fun with our deceased family. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and

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63:09

223: Put On a Tool Belt

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/08/13

We’ve had a week of bullshit, another one bites the dust, more words we like and some new natural biohacks. Watch who you pocket dial, costume jewelry is not for men, pray for Maui and we’re headed to the desert. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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88:32

222: Just Say You're No Fun

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/08/05

Pat is recovering from alcohol poisoning. The live shows were more than we ever hoped for. Crystal thinks she has a “dance space”. Nations got us thinking we’re famous. Is Lizzo disgusting? Crystal is Peez’ favorite person in the world. And Taco Bell better stop skimping us. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and

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81:12

221: Say Excuse Me

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/07/28

We’re bleeding, overwhelmed and preparing for the live shows. Pata Fria is testing a new intimate bleaching cream, it’s Jimbo’s birthday, William hurt himself and Mark has been a huge help. A UTI vaccine is coming, a little progress is being made in the Tupac murder investigation, don’t fake a kidnapping and don’t act a fool in another country. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our

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105:26

220: Murder Deluxe

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/07/17

It’s been a rough eventful week. Crystal is losing a toenail, displays excellent self control and has another new word for us. Pata Fria got a new car, shot photos in a kinky dream house and had an interaction with a possible trafficker. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s

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342 results

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