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PODCAST

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life

We are Simon & Lorra. A married couple. Mum & Dad to three kids... One in his 20s, one at uni, one fast approaching her teens. We love each other to bits but we also realise that we want to kill each other a lot. One day that quote will probably be used against one of us in a court of law. Each episode, we"ll chat about our marriage, love life, kids, London, relationships, anything relevant in the news and we"ll recommend anything we"ve seen, played, read or listened to. Contact us on

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

47:48

#HAWSTL 122 - Zoe Saldana's Lasagne Cocktail Stunt...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/10/10

Sorry this one is late. Today we talk...• Weekends as parents.• 50 day dieting.• The Penguin Files update.• The Lasagne Cocktail.• Pink outfits & cancellations.• Car trouble.• Panini Football Stickers.• Zoe Saldana's stunt double.We also reviewed some of our favourite stories of the week, including...• Uncombable hair syndrome.• Parents going cheap at Christmas.• The 'Soleus Lift' exercise.• The ideal time to eat dinner.• How to stop weeing in the middle of the night.And more!Thanks for

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39:10

#HAWSTL 121 - The Penguin Files

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/10/05

Hello! Something a bit different today. We've had so much feedback about the story of the stolen penguin on a school trip, we thought we'd dedicated (at least) an episode to it. Our research has taken us to England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Australia, The United Arab Emirates and even South Korea. We speak to genuine callers and get their first hand accounts of the penguin story. We speak to someone accused of stealing te penguin to see of there is any weight to the accusations. This was a really

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49:38

#HAWSTL 120 - Mother-in-Law stands by penguin story

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/10/02

Another week in review podcast... But first some life bits...• Dubai getting rid of masks.• More school visits.• Covering the breakfast show.• Panini World Cup footy stickers.• Driving lessons & crying.• Bullet Train & Overcooked.• Modern diets vs 30 years ago.• 8 dating red flags.• Loch Ness bulls**t.• Wacky sock fashion.• The Xmas 3 Lions.• Staff-free restaurants.• Phones in the shower.• Chicken McNuggets TikTok hack.•Gwyneth Paltrow's nude 50th.• Eggs news.• Air Fryer K**bheads.We finish

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48:33

#HAWSTL 119 - The life of an expat Facebook page admin

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/27

Hello! Great episode today. We chat to Ian Sanders, creator of The Real Brits in Dubai Facebook page. With almost 12,000 members in just four years, we delved into the highs and lows, the pitfalls and perils, the laughs and the tears of running an expat Facebook page which, we're sure you're all aware, can be absolute minefields of trolling, arguing and pig-headedness. However, there are also as many positives as there are negatives and they can be a real community-spirited place and a lifeline to

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1:10:59

#HAWSTL 118 - Week in review, loud sex & bad pool...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/24

It's the end of the week as we know it... And we feel... Well, knackered. As usual. On today's podcast, we started with some life bits:• Swimming pool knobhead.• Diet news.• The skin tag gun (trigger warning - very gross).• Mummy Mafia in the schoolyard.• The emoji response.We also reviewed some of the week's lesser-publicised stories...• The School of Kanye West.• Loud sex fines.• Walnut benefits.• A mum's rules for her 6 kids.• Tea benefits.• Beans on toast idiocy.• Ants.• A dishwasher hack (as

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1:07:02

#HAWSTL 117 - School distractions & holiday diaries

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/21

Hello! lots to talk about today before we get to the Holiday Diaries in the second half. Today we cover...• Kids being off school, upsetting your routine.• Simon's "Catboy Talks Funny" side project.• A 36 year old sex education question.• No-hands knobheads.• Statey Funez shout-outs.• School distractions feedback.• Holiday Diaries (Amsterdam stopover & Calshot).A massive thank you to the good fold of the "Real Brits in Dubai" Facebook group, who left some great 'school distraction' feedback for

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54:14

#HAWSTL 116 - Hollywood hair, poo bags, big school...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/19

Hello! Well, this episode was going to be another travel diaries segment but we got into the content, so we've pushed the next travel diaries episode back to later in the week. Today is Queen Elizabeth II's funeral so we've taken a day off to watch it. On the podcast, we're talking:• A solo argument about republicans & the bank holiday.• The QE2 anniversary & Lorra's memories.• Simon's incredible milk carton hack.• Lorra's movie appearances and ones she turned down.• Hollywood hair.• A Mr

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1:06:47

#HAWSTL 115 - End of the Week Review (17th Sept 2022)

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/17

Hello and congratulations on making it through another week of life without (if your week's been anything like ours) murdering someone, having a heart attack, giving your children enough mental damage to require years of therapy or driving your stupid car into a stupid wall. On today's episode we delve into the news you might have missed this week... Some of it fun... Some of it helpful... And some of it, outright BS. Featuring...• Sleepover dramas.• Wet keys.• Dogs in bed.• Debunking old wives'

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1:05:41

#HAWSTL 114 - Berlin diaries, toe nails, car rants &...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/14

Hello! After a big argument yesterday, we haven't spoken for a day, so we thought we'd get on the mics! Big one today. Among other things, the first half of the pod features...• Swimming & a possible affair.• Posh people showering.• Toe-nail cutting cut-off.• Simon falling in a school.• Lorra's car park shenanigans.• A sexy fridge fix.• A superglue success story.• King Charles and pens.The second half of today's episode is the Berlin Diaries. We sit in Berlin Airport and discuss the many places

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50:21

#HAWSTL 113 - End of the Week Review (11th Sept 2022)

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/11

Hello! This is the first of our brand new ;End of the Week Review' episodes. A look back at happenings and stories that have caught our eye. This week...• Class parent WhatsApp groups at school (with your voice notes).• Middle-aged night wees and men doing 'the emergency pinch'.• The cost of school residential trips.• The return of the Teletubbies.• Parent rules from a very strict headteacher.• Generic school uniforms and iron-on badges.• People already putting Christmas decorations up.Hope you

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38:11

#HAWSTL 112 - Royal Update & Holiday Diaries (AMS>BML)

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/10

Hello! To follow on from Thursday night's podcast, when we had just heard the shocking news of Queen Elizabeth's death, the first half of our recording today is our feelings since then... When it started to hit us properly, how Simon had to change the format of his radio show, how difficult it is to do that job on days when you don't want to act like an 'idiot monkey' (Simon's words). We talk about being gripped by rolling News, watching King Charles III and the Queen Consort fly to London, drive to

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22:44

#HAWSTL 111 - Queen Elizabeth II

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/08

This is an unusual episode, which we recorded more for ourselves than anything else. Like everyone else, we watched the News today but tonight we were hosting one of our weekly quiz nights when the sad announcements were made regarding the Queen. It was difficult because we were stood there with microphones and, to be honest, we didn't know how to feel or react. History was being made. But we had a job to do. So we both agreed that as soon as we got to the car we would record our feelings and

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55:42

#HAWSTL 110 - Meltdowns, tin openers & Amsterdam

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/09/06

Hello! We uploaded ep.110 yesterday but there was a glitch in the audio and we sounded like Norman Collier doing his broken mic routine (this), so we had to delete it and do it again. This podcast is in two halves. The first half is us, now, talking about the first week back to school, the Dubai school runs, community Facebook groups, Lorra's weekend meltdown, Simon's husbandly reaction to the meltdown, Friends (the TV show), friends (the people in, or rather not in our lives), what is and isn't

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35:51

#HAWSTL 109 - Holiday Diaries pt 1

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/08/27

This is the third time we've tried to upload this episode and, to be quite frank, it's ruined our afternoon! Here are the first parts of our holiday diaries, taking in the flying, London, the New Forest, Southampton & Amsterdam. Apologies for any "category b" words that might have slipped-in (can't quite remember now). Episode 2 of the travel diaries will be coming soon.See you next time xSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/husband-wife-sentenced-to-life. Hosted on Acast. See

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37:17

#HAWSTL 108 - Holiday Buffer and The Return of Boobs...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/08/23

Hello! We've been away. The holiday pods are coming. They won't be daily, like last year but we did record in several countries, talking about where we've been and what we've been up to. So they'll be coming soon. For now, we talk about...• Needing a holiday buffer• BeReal - The anti-Instagram• The kids not appreciating the holiday• Our thoughts on the new Game of Thrones prequel, House of the Dragon• Finally finishing Stranger Things• Blackbird on Apple TV+• TV directors' current favourite go-to

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45:37

#HAWSTL 107 - There are always 6 ****s at Dubai...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/07/26

On Episode 107 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) the hot topics are Dubai's inclement weather (we disagree about this), deliveries (we disagree on certain orders), an invention for middle-aged men in middle-aged cars, friends who are leaving, bad people at great comedy nights, the kids being useless, the staggering number of glasses one uni student thinks it's fine to have in his room (we agree on this), leftover food in the fridge (we disagree about this). Plus we talk Stranger

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58:30

#HAWSTL 106 - Effin' Bees, Visa Runs, Dating Apps,...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/07/16

A meandering flight of the Simon & Lorra wafflecopter, landing at various destinations, including...• Illness & top-wife behaviour.• The Hatta visa run.• Dating apps (Tinder & Hinge).• Kid-induced stress.• Hating other people's kids and why they might hate ours.• Travelling, airports & luggage.• A geographical riddle.We also recommended...The Phantom of the Open - [Click for trailer]Brian and Charles - [Click for trailer]Big Boys - [Click for trailer]If you'd like to get in touch

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46:12

#HAWSTL 105 - Random Day Nut Lube

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/06/19

Hello you! And Happy Father's Day! Today we're talking about...• Lorra's stress levels.• Car AC armpit cooling.• School Summer finishing time.• Shorts problem for women.• Local clothes envy.• Back of thigh lady-hairs.• Old-age boozeless hangovers.• Male/female roles for kids.• A rough week for our youngest.• New teacher day.• Trampoline park disaster.• Saturday night hospital visit.• Annoying house viewings.• Unbelievable TikTok life hack.• A shopping admission.Busy couple of weeks head for us but

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44:27

#HAWSTL 104 - Car, Fridge & Pie Disasters

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/06/12

Hello you!!! Sorry for the pause in pods but as you'll hear, it's been a bit of a mad old time. Coming up we're talking...• Simon's crazy TikTok figures.• The Amber Heard poo prank.• Quizzing.• Being broke.• Car troubles.• House troubles.• Takeaway trauma.• The f***ing fridge!We also review Top Gun Maverick, Keep sweet Pray & Obey and Adam Sandler's Hustle.Don't forget.if you're in Dubai and you fancy hanging out, we're at The Cheeky Camel every Thursday night for Catboy & Lorra's Cheeky

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18:00

#HAWSTL 103 - Googling Women with IBS

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2022/05/24

After it took three 'takes' to record the last podcast, Simon (mega-frustrated that his expensive wireless mics were 'playing silly buggers') wanted to test the mics on a drive. So we did. Apologies for car noise but we thought we'd put it out anyway. Today we talked about the fun news that we're getting evicted, IBS, our kids on a downer, the pitfalls of a takeaway living room massage, a kitchen cupboard reshuffle, a farting survey, how much of lives are spent trying to choose telly to watch,

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