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PODCAST

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

Sam Tielemans, LMFT

Break free from pornography and rebuild the trust in your relationship. Hosted by licensed marriage therapist Sam Tielemans, Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction is your go-to podcast for overcoming porn addiction, restoring emotional and sexual intimacy, and healing after betrayal trauma in your marriage. Each episode offers practical tools, relationship advice, and real stories of men and couples navigating the path of porn recovery and restoring your marriage. Whether you’re just starting

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All Episodes

30:12

133: Narcissism and Pornography Use: Why They've Had...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/02/22

The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming.After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing… But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time? What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors? In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking narcissism and why this label causes more damage to both people. I share what really drives negative behaviors in a relationship and how you can actually

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19:49

132: When the Tools Don’t Help You Feel Better or...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/02/15

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc. But what if you try those things and you don't actually feel any better? What if you're not making progress, despite using all of the tools that you've learned about. In this episode, I share with you

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21:50

131: Emotional Safety in Marriage is Key: Here Are 3...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/02/08

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship. And when he is the source of safety, she can let the wall down and feel more connected and close with him. In this episode, I share with you three different

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19:24

130: The Solution to Avoid Trading One Bad Coping...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/02/01

It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.). Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it. However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets you up to continue to spiral. Why does this happen and how can we avoid it? Check out the today's episode and get solutions to resolve this problem. For

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24:21

129: How to Help Her Feel Secure Again in the...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/01/25

In a relationship, having a strong feeling of security is so important. When pornography addiction or habit is discovered, it completely undermines the security that she feels. This causes lots of issues for both people and the relationship itself – a wall goes up, there's distrust, fear, inadequacy, and emptiness often felt by both people. In today's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific tool you can implement right away so you can build security back into your marriage. For therapy with Sam: Go

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31:52

128: How to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and a...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/01/18

Lots of people struggle with feelings of low self worth, unworthiness, inadequacy and a lack of self love. Affirmations and being positive doesn’t seem to stick because we don’t actually believe the good things we are saying. It can be hard to love ourselves if we mostly see all of our inadequacies and weaknesses. Especially if our shortcomings impact those who we love. In this episode, I share with you, one of the most powerful tools to overcome feelings of inadequacy and low self worth, and

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26:22

127: The Key to Addressing Her Sadness If It Feels...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/01/11

Have you ever had a good day with your spouse, then out of nowhere, you get hit with a wave of deep sadness. Then you share the sadness and the conversation spirals and he doesn’t say much in response. If you’re a husband, have you ever been faced with that situation and wanted to help her but had no idea how? Did you feel discouraged because you thought you were in a better spot and had made progress, only to feel like you were back to square one? This is a very common scenario for couples, and

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26:22

126: The Damage of Pornography Use and Deception Can...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2024/01/04

When a pornography addiction or habit is discovered in a relationship, it causes significant damage. Trust is broken, there's a lack of emotional safety, and it often causes a woman to redefine the entire relationship and question the past. Despite the significant damage, couples who get the right tools can fully heal the pain of the past, eliminate pornography use, and move forward with closure and connection. In this episode I share with you exactly how to move forward through the damage and how

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18:07

125: He Wants to Move Forward, But She’s Still...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/12/28

Most people don’t want to stay in pain any longer than they already have. They want the process to speed up, to find closure and peace sooner, and move forward with a feeling of resolution… But what if she’s not ready to just leave it all behind? So many men want to leave the past behind as quickly as possible, because they recognize the impact of their actions has had a tremendous effect on their wife. He doesn't want her to suffer anymore than she already has, so in his desires to move forward,

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24:31

124: When Seeking Validation Leads to Pornography...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/12/21

What do you do when you struggle with feelings of needing validation from a source outside of yourself? Whether it’s sexual attention from a woman, making a lot of money, doing and accomplishing things, or looking a certain way, it’s a trap that leads to more heartache. In this episode, I share how both a husband and wife can work through these underlying issues that lead to validation seeking and coping in destructive ways. The more you can recognize and resolve the root cause, the more peace,

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17:10

123: Harvard Professor Shares a Critical Factor in...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/12/14

Have you ever wanted to know exactly what it’s going to take to eliminate pornography and have a connected relationship with your spouse? As I have initial calls with men, I often hear them say they are willing to do whatever it takes, they just don't know exactly what to do. In this episode, I share with you, one of the most important elements that helps engage and sustain men in the process of quitting pornography. I also share the very best strategy that you can implement in order to make success

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18:26

122: This Conversation Can Unintentionally Harm Your...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/12/07

When struggling to overcome pornography addiction or a habit, have you ever had the conversation that goes something like this: If there's another relapse again, our marriage is over. If I catch you watching something again, I'm leaving. And if you have had that conversation in your relationship, how did it feel? What effect did it end up having? So many couples I work with have high standards for their relationship - no pornography.. but what happens when that standard is broken? Is it possible to

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16:09

121: Can Having Sex Make it Harder For Him to...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/11/30

Can having sex make it hard for him to quit watching pornography? Is a pornography addiction or habit fueled by sex with a spouse? The men and women I work with want to have a fulfilling relationship, which includes sexual intimacy. In this episode, I share with you, the most important considerations when it comes to making sure sex doesn’t cause a breakdown in the marriage or fuel the patterns he’s wanting to get away from. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information

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24:27

120: The 3 Best Ways to Help Her Pain Go Away

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/11/24

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction or habit, it shatters trust and security in his relationship. Most men desperately seek to repair and restore the relationship, but sadly find themselves struggling to help her feel better despite making positive changes individually. This episode of share with you, three specific ways, couples can approach the healing process together to help her pain heal and ultimately find closure. After 15,000 hours of doing therapy with clients, these are

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43:53

119: Success Story with Kenna and Dave – From Near...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/11/16

Have you ever contemplated ending your relationship because of the hurt and pain you’re feeling? Or because of broken communication that leads to fights or distance and you're not sure how to repair your marriage, despite everything that you've tried? You’re not alone. So many couples get stuck in negative cycles that break down their love and relationship, leading to resentment and distance. I had the awesome opportunity to work with a couple who reached out right on the brink of divorce after

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29:58

118: When She Says, “If You Loved Me, You Never Would...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/11/08

When a man struggles with pornography, addiction or habit, it’s devastating to his wife. She will express her hurt and pain to him hoping that the behavior will stop, but when it continues to happen, it creates hopelessness and despair. In those moments, it's easy for her to interpret the situation as ‘he doesn’t love me or care about me, what’s why he keeps doing it.’ When that is how she interprets his behavior, that creates even more pain in her heart. But what if there was a different

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22:49

117: How to Eliminate the Desire for Pornography So...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/11/02

Imagine what life would feel like if you didn’t have any desire to look at pornography. You just simply had no interest in it anymore? What if you just felt “normal” and could just go about your day without worrying about temptations and urges? Well, it’s possible. And it’s one of the best feelings in the world. In this episode I want to share with you exactly how you can achieve that and leverage that heart change to create safety and trust in your marriage How can you achieve this? The desire for

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21:23

116: If a Wife Has Unmet Expectations and a Husband...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/10/26

When working to overcome pornography addiction or habit, it’s easy for expectations to not be met.. This work is difficult, and if a wife has expectations of him sharing, growing, and improving, but his capacity is limited, there can be a breakdown in the marriage. She might feel like he’s not really trying and that he doesn’t care about her. He can feel like no matter what he does, it’ll never be good enough. And when couples get caught in this type of spiral, it actually de-motivates and

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24:04

115: When Saying How You Feel Leads to a Fight

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/10/20

When couples are working through the impact of pornography addiction, communication is so important to resolve painful and sensitive issues. But what, if sharing how you feel ends up in a fight? This is exactly what we were talking about in today's episode, and I'll share with your tools and strategies to approach these conversations differently. This can help you find closure and repair the damage that is causing a wall between you and your spouse. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get

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22:13

114: Avoid This Thought Pattern So You Can Overcome...

Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction ·

2023/10/12

It's easy for people to get stuck in a negative thought patterns that increase depression, hopelessness, and feeling paralyzed. When's the last time you thought something like, "I'm a failure," "there's no way I can quit porn," "everything in our marriage has been a lie"? In a couple of recent sessions I had with people, a common theme emerged that was keeping them stuck in how they assessed and thought about situations in their lives. These disempowering thought pattern happens all the time to so

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