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PODCAST

Untoxicated Podcast

Matt & Sheri Salis

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I go”

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

53:36

Ep180 – The Role of Intimacy in Relationship Recovery

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/02/27

Sheri and Matt review Come As You Are, the best-selling book by Dr. Emily Nagoski. They discuss sexual anatomy and how we all have the same parts just organized in different ways. Matt tells Sheri what a clitoris is, and it is worth tuning in for her reaction. They discuss Dr. Nagoski's explanation of what hits the accelerator, and what hits the brakes, when it comes to desire, arousal, intimacy, and orgasm. And they discuss the incredibly important, and mostly ignored or misunderstood, role of

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1:05:30

Ep179 – Worthiness Roundtable

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/02/20

Being on the receiving end of the lies, gaslighting and manipulation of alcoholism can make it tough to feel worthy. On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt welcome five survivors with lived experience who share their successes and challenges in their battles with worthiness. These are all new voices to the podcast, with important, impactful perspectives. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your

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40:15

Ep178 – The Parents Alcoholism (and Recovery) Made Us

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/02/13

Sheri and Matt are eager to break some of the generational patterns that resulted in underlying causes of addiction for Matt. In this episode, the couple talks about the habits, instinctual reactions and mannerisms that they are trying not to pass along to their kids. It is not enough to tell the children of alcoholics not to get caught in the web of addiction. We have to create an environment (complete with heaping doses of encouragement and self-esteem) that don't lead to a need to

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57:20

Ep177 – Writing the Trauma Out with Liz

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/02/06

When she found her husband drinking alcohol with their underage kids, the scene triggered an unexpectedly life-changing response. At first, Liz thought it was the last straw. After writing and processing, she realized the present-day scene was a reminder of disappointments and conditioning from her long-ago past. Through writing, Liz has come to a lot of realizations that have led her onto her own path of recovery. Matt starts the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the

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49:54

Ep176 – Why Sheri and Matt Are Not Psychologists or...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/01/30

The answer to this episode title has morphed over the years from: they couldn't imagine anyone would want to listen to what they have to say, to: "imposter syndrome," to: groups are dynamic, to: the pressure from expectations for answers sounds sucky. Is that run-on sentence confusing? Listen to the episode, and you'll understand why you can be a student and a teachers. Listen all the way to the end, and you can hear Sheri's idea for Matt's billboard advertising campaign. Sheri and Matt start the

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1:11:24

Ep175 – Couples Roundtable: The Threat of Relapse

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/01/23

Eight loving, empathetic, hard-working alcoholism survivors sitting around a big microphone - it's a roundtable episode recorded during our winter Marriagevolution Couples Retreat in the mountains of Colorado. Two couples are nearing the end of their first year of sobriety, the third couple has over three years, and Sheri and Matt are starting their seventh year. So there is a variety of experiences, opinions and emotions on full display. Clear communication and respect - respect for each other and

en-US

57:54

Ep174 – Reconciling the Joys of Alcohol

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/01/16

There is no arguing the fact that without alcohol, Sheri and Matt would never have met. It is also an undisputed reality that some of the best times the couple ever experienced were enhanced by alcohol. Now that Sheri and Matt openly despise alcohol for all of the damage it brought to their family, a reconciliation is in order. Before they discuss reconciling the joy and destruction of alcohol, Sheri and Matt answer a listener question about finding confidence and reconnection in sobriety, while the

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57:49

Ep173 – Blame Won’t Fix It

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/01/09

Blame the alcohol, or the alcoholism, but don't blame the person. We say it all the time. But what if the blame isn't just something that occurs once the addiction is firmly in place? What if blame and criticism and attempts to change our partners is one of the underlying causes of addiction? Sheri and Matt discuss the impact of years of mutual criticism and attempts to change each other. And as you'll hear on this episode, they are much happier now just laughing at each other. Sheri and Matt start

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54:19

Ep172 – Here Comes the Hard Part

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2023/01/02

So you made it through the holidays...well, definitely don't let your guard down yet. January is really hard in early sobriety, and it is hard for the loved ones trying to avoid emotional relapses. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the emotional drivers from the holidays that impact our self-esteem, and they give tips about what to do to have a mentally healthy start to the year. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too

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1:02:23

Ep171 – Community SHOUT-Outs

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/12/26

On this one-of-a-kind episode, Sheri and Matt have compiled the answers to this simple prompt from 17 participants in the SHOUT Sobriety and Echoes of Recovery groups: What does community mean to you? There are a lot of resonating sentiments and powerful statements in the words of the people who understand the transformational impact of community. To move past the Sheri and Matt introduction to the clips from our people, skip to the 19 minute mark. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a

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1:00:02

Ep170 – Generational Trauma: Breaking the Cycle

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/12/19

Sheri and Matt knew they would hand down important lessons about faith and work ethic and loyalty and love of family to their kids. What they didn't initially know was that they would also hand down troubling mannerisms, emotions and disruptions to the nervous system that would haunt their children. And the really complex part is that now that they know, there are still things Sheri and Matt struggle to stop reinforcing. I guess they learned their generationally traumatic lessons well. Breaking the

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57:47

Ep169 – Unworthy

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/12/12

Childhood experiences, including exposure to alcoholism, along with the gaslighting and denials from being married to an alcoholic, have left Sheri facing real challenges battling feelings of unworthiness. Anyone who thinks the loved one of an alcoholic should just, "Get over it," really needs to listen to this honest and painful conversation. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener's question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to

en-US

1:06:02

Ep168 – The Orgasm Gap and Addiction: Connecting the...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/12/05

The only thing Matt knew about a connection between orgasms and addiction when he was in active alcoholism was that he sure liked to have sex when he was drinking. But now he has done the research, and Sheri and Matt connect the dots explaining the reason for the orgasm gap between men and women, and how challenges with sexual pleasure and satisfaction are both an underlying cause of, and also a result from, alcoholism. Not only do they identify this problem that starts in K-12 public school

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1:06:50

Ep167 – No Longer Pretending with Karen and Adam

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/11/28

A manicured lawn, beautiful social media photos, and a well-kept house are often signs that something sinister lurks hiding behind the perfection. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Karen and Adam to the conversation because of their experiences with no longer pretending. They discuss the incredible relief found in moving past the stoic wall, refusing to portray everything as "fine," and finding a communities - both small and large - where we can be 100% authentic. What goes up, must come down

en-US

58:06

Ep166 – When Motivation Morphs into Addiction

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/11/21

Do you find satisfaction in an accomplishment, or does an achievement just drive you to keep pushing forward? If you, like Matt, relate to the latter, watch out! You just might be on a path toward addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt take a listener's question, and explain how motivation contributed to Matt's high-functioning alcoholism. Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your

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1:22:19

Ep165 – The Lingering Voices of Trauma and Abuse with...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/11/14

Hannah has been through a lot, and now she is recovering from her traumatic and abusive experience with the alcoholism of her husband. Sheri and Matt are honored to call her a dear friend, and they feel her pain and celebrate her growth on this very difficult episode. Hannah's story is a cautionary tale of the progressive nature of alcoholism, and how bad it can get. Listen to how her love for her children was the ultimate factor in her finding the freedom they all deserve. If you love or loved an

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1:00:27

Ep164 – Communication Mistakes with Our Kids and Why...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/11/07

At the heart of all relationship struggles we will find communication challenges. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall all the communication mistakes they have made with their kids. Some of it was a direct result of alcoholism. Some mistakes were made naively as they navigated uncharted territory. Some mistakes continue (especially from Matt) even though they now know better. One thing is for sure - not communicating with kids who have experienced alcoholism is not a healthy option. If you love

en-US

59:30

Ep163 – Scaring Up some Holiday Peace and Joy

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/10/31

Sheri and Matt have had some awful alcoholic Halloween experiences. Last year, they recapped the trauma on Ep111. This year, the couple is talking about the joy and laughter they are experiencing on their sixth consecutive sober Halloween month (yes, Matt celebrates Halloween for a whole month). Do you think sobriety is boring? Well, after you listen to this, you might not change your mind. But you'll definitely think twice about taking advice from these two chuckling sobriety peddlers with their

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59:21

Ep162 – Get Off Your Back

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/10/24

We humans are hard on ourselves. In fact, it is widely believed that no one will ever be as hard on us as we are on ourselves. Sheri and Matt have experience with that point of view, and on this episode, they share why your perceived self-weakness might just be bravery leading to hope. Cut yourself some slack and listen to their perspective. Also, listen to Matt give Sheri makeup tips. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand,

en-US

1:00:42

Ep161 – The Value of Pain

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/10/17

Pain is thought of as an almost exclusively negative emotion and experience. But does pain serve a purpose? Is pain necessary for forward motion in certain scenarios? And is recovery from alcoholism one such scenario? Sheri and Matt sure think so. Their understanding of pain is not just about progress. On this episode, the couple shares their understanding of pain that can help release shame in the times when we get stuck. They also both have real-time epiphanies of about how pain influences our

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299 results

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