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PODCAST

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:59:58

How Saying "No" Can Increase Physical Touch In Sex...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/08/15

Do you have a hard time saying no to your husband's sexual advances for fear of hurting his feelings? So many women I teach say they feel internal pressure and duty to give in and get it over with when it comes to sex with their husband. No wonder so many women aren’t enjoying the sexual experience! Here’s what took me a long time to figure out: saying “no” empowers you to say “yes” to the things you actually enjoy (even if you don’t know what that is yet). Listen to my conversation with

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00:49:01

Sex After 60: How to Talk About Sex After Years of...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/08/01

Struggling to find the importance of sex in marriage after 60? I’m talking to Diane, a teacher and musician in her sixties with three grown children. Despite being an educator, Diane admits to knowing nothing about sexual relationships in her youth and “assuming the guys knew what they were doing.” In this incredibly tender and inspiring episode, we talk about her journey with duty sex for almost 33 years in her marriage and the courageous steps she and her husband have taken to start talking about

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00:13:30

Three Reasons Why Foreplay Doesn't Lead to Better Sex...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/07/25

Today we’re talking about foreplay and why I don’t think more foreplay, typically prescribed to women with low libido, is the answer to enjoying sex more. I believe it does more harm to women than good. Curious to know why? Listen in as I discuss three reasons why the goal to increase sexual arousal through foreplay is problematic. I also offer tips on what to try instead to help you focus on what your mind and body actually need to authentically enjoy the sexual experience with your husband.Join

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00:17:40

For the Husbands Listening: Top Tips To Be a Better...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/07/18

This episode is for the men listening out there! I often get emails from husbands asking me for advice on what they can do to help their wife enjoy sex more. Maybe they’ve listened to my podcast or read my website, so these men already understand it’s not about labelling her with “low libido” or getting her to fix herself. They understand there is a much larger societal issue behind her lack of desire, but they have no idea how to approach her with this information. I’m offering valuable advice on

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00:11:34

The Truth About Spicing Up Your Marriage (And Why It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/07/11

Have you heard the advice to "spice things up" to keep your sex life alive? Get kinky, say dirty words, try new positions, watch porn. I tried all of these things and more in my marriage to increase my low sex drive but I was left feeling empty, unsatisfied and unaligned with myself. I believe the key to more connected intimacy is becoming more of who you are in the sexual experience, not pretending to be someone you aren't. In this episode, I discuss why chasing increased physical sensations

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00:55:45

What Men Struggle to Understand About Low Libido in...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/07/04

For the first time, I'm offering support to husbands in my Wanting It More program, and I'm learning a lot about why men find it hard to understand (and even believe) their wife's low desire for sex compared to their own. This is especially true when women haven't been honest about what they enjoy (and especially about what they don't enjoy) in the bedroom. In this episode, I'm sharing real examples of what men say they’re learning about how their wife's sexual desire works and how using these new

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00:27:53

A Step-By-Step Example of What a Real Married Sexual...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/06/27

The examples we're shown of sex in movies and tv are ridiculous! I'm here to tell you that's not what real sex looks or sounds like (these are actors acting after all). Are you curious to know what connected sex actually looks like? In my Wanting It More program, I get vulnerable and share my own sexual experience with my program participants to help them understand a new way of conducting an intimate experience based on their specific needs. I mean, where else are you going to learn this

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00:56:55

How To Enjoy Better Sex (and understand low sex drive...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/06/20

We're missing out on true joy and connection with our partners and ourselves when we focus on the formulaic goals of sex. It's not all about orgasm! It's about getting curious to create and follow your own rules for your sexual wellness. Laura and I chat about some of my best tips for creating a non-goal-oriented and mindful sexual connection.Join the Waitlist for the June/July 2024 round of Wanting It More. Join Now. Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your rating and review to help the

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00:42:42

How To Let Go of Outdated Messages About Sex in...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/06/13

I challenge a lot of what society teaches men and women about sex, and sometimes husbands have a hard time with my content. I've been bullied, threatened, and personally attacked online by men who are struggling to see their important role in helping their wives feel more comfortable in the bedroom. That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Charles reached out to me on Instagram to share how the podcast was helping him in his relationship with his wife (without her involvement in my program or

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00:55:34

How to Trust Your Partner Again After Cheating and...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/06/06

Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner. My husband of 14 years admitted to a porn addiction that I was unaware of (after years in therapy/coaching trying to fix my "low libido"). When I came across the work of Michelle Mays on YouTube after one late night of desperate Googling, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. If

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00:46:46

How to Revive Intimacy After Two Decades of Marriage...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/30

My podcast guest this week, Joy, shared that when she first started her relationship (at 17!), she was expecting they would be that disgustingly in-love couple with constant PDA, but that's not what happened. In fact, despite having a supportive, loving, and fun relationship, she quickly found that her fear of getting pregnant turned into the discomfort of having or talking about sex altogether. When Joy joined my Wanting It More program, they hadn't shared a sexual experience in almost 20 years. I

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00:57:57

How This Husband Supported His Wife to Rewrite Their...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/23

As a husband, are you confused about why non-sexual intimacy (like playful touch and general affection) and physical intimacy have dwindled in your marriage? In this follow-up to Episode 43, I get to chat with Thia's husband, Eugene, about the pressure and personal responsibility he felt to fix their sex life and the many changes he tried that didn’t work. Since taking the Wanting It More program together, he's now aware of his many misconceptions about sexual intimacy in marriage. Listen as he

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01:03:06

Can A Dwindling Sex Life Be Revitalized? How Thia...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/23

Thia and Eugene are a couple from South Africa who are currently living in the UK with three children. After waiting to have sex until their wedding night and having some positive experiences early on, their intimate life started to dwindle. Thia wasn't sure if she was even able to have an orgasm (it can be hard to tell!) and Eugene was running out of ways to help his wife enjoy the experience. Their sex life was becoming infrequent, routine and obligatory. After taking Wanting It More, they've

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00:56:18

Is 'Just Do It' The Only Answer To Low Libido?...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/16

Amber spent years searching for help for her low sexual desire with no answers. She spoke to her university counsellor, her mom, read books and sought help from her church. In a moment of desperation she reached out to her physician and was given this response: "Look, it's just one of those things. You simply have to do it. It'll make him a better husband and father." I can personally relate to this lonely experience. I searched for years for answers to my low sex drive from similar sources as

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00:51:38

What Does Safety In The Sexual Experience Actually...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/09

In this follow-up conversation to Episode 40, I talk with Erin's husband Rob about his ‘old ways’ of thinking about sex and how his views have drastically transformed since taking Wanting It More. Learning about my concepts of safety in the bedroom originally floored him, but incorporating these vital ideas has ultimately made all the difference in their marriage and sexual relationship. If you're confused about what safety in the bedroom means, I hope you'll have a listen to a man's perspective

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00:53:52

How To Heal From Unwanted Sexual Attention As A Child...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/09

I'm always speaking to women and their husbands about the need for safety with physical touch in and out of the sexual experience. In our culture, women are bombarded with unwanted sexual attention in media, in schools, in homes, and out in the streets. We don't even know that feeling safe is a possibility! This week, I talk to Erin and her husband, Rob in separate conversations, about how they have moved towards a safer sexual experience together. You can listen to Rob's conversation in Episode

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01:01:11

How To Rewrite Purity Culture Messages About Sex (So...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/05/02

As sexually loud as our culture can be, so many women (and men) experience the silence around helpful information on sex and pleasure as we prepare for marriage. This week I talk to Keira about growing up in a Christian household and the guilt, shame and dirty feelings she held on to for years. We also discuss her experience with painful intercourse and the dramatic turning point that helped her rethink her body and the meaning of intimacy in marriage in an entirely new light. Regardless if

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00:32:46

Do You Need To Be Sexually Attracted To Your Husband...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/04/25

I don't believe that making the choice to explore a sexual connection AND enjoy the experience is connected to physical attraction to your spouse in any way (aka, you don't need to be turned on by his body.) This also includes you if you DO find him hunky and still don't want and/or enjoy sex with him. This doesn't mean anything about you or your marriage. Curious to know why? I'm choosing to be honest in hopes that it will calm some fears on this hotly debated topic.Join the Waitlist for

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00:37:18

His Side of the Story - with Nick | Ep. 35

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/04/04

1. Janna interviews Nick, the husband of a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about his experience going through the program. 2. Nick explains the challenges and rewards of vulnerability in male friendships. 3. His ah-ha moment realizing the lack of physical connection was not the real problem in his marriage. 4. How his attempts at “gentle pressure” and reverse psychology backfired and what actually worked to rebuild their connection in and out of the bedroom. 5. His misinterpretation

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00:58:58

Wanting It More After 18 Months of Avoidance - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2023/03/28

1. Janna interviews Sarah, a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about her personal and relational shift after seven weeks in the eight-week program. 2. Sarah describes her tearful breaking point the week before signing up for WIM, thoughts of divorce, and how she’s used the tools learned in WIM to save her marriage. 3. Honest talk about her declining desire over 15 years and why it’s so hard for women to verbalize what happened. 4. How honestly acknowledging and expressing her anger,

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