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PODCAST

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back

Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they"re pretty sure they"re going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!

comedy books

All Episodes

2:14:23

Episode 99 – Quilters Ep 3 – Goodbye, Cozyverse!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/05/06

By the first to find out what we’re reading next by joining the 372 Patreon! Lots of other great exclusive posts and events as well! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! It’s with wet eyes that we bid farewell to the land of wrongly timed barbecue, snippy and/or flirty waitresses, violent drug-pushing teacher/furniture store managers, open … Continue reading "Episode 99 – Quilters Ep 3 – Goodbye, Cozyverse!"

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2:22:25

Episode 98 – Quilters Ep 2 – Big Baby Braxton

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/04/20

Join the fun in the 372 Patreon! Last week we all relived Conor’s humiliating Jeopardy loss together. Plus every episode early, contests, and other bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! The number of characters continues to rise along with the body count, as the Quilters’ anti-drug battle (aka putting up a modest number of … Continue reading "Episode 98 – Quilters Ep 2 – Big Baby Braxton"

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2:17:57

Episode 97 – Quilters Ep 1 – A Small, Intimate Podcast

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/04/05

Join us on Patreon to get every episode early and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here! Ah, the Clinian Cloud has lifted and the 372 Pages studio is cozy and smells of pork, sauerkraut, beef stew and cake – lots of cake! Conor dives to the dark web, Mike tries his hand at … Continue reading "Episode 97 – Quilters Ep 1 – A Small, Intimate Podcast"

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47:33

Episode 96 – Book 16: The Quilters Push Back

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/03/23

Get the book here! The task: announce book number sixteen. Forty-seven minutes later the job is done! Why? Because Conor and Mike are incredibly enthusiastic about the new title. I mean, one of our favorite “Real or FanFics” before we even crack the book open?! This is going to be great! Here’s a link to … Continue reading "Episode 96 – Book 16: The Quilters Push Back"

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2:35:58

Ep 95 – Ready Player 2 – Suddenly, and Without...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/02/26

Learn the next book before anyone else! Join the fun on the 372 Patreon. Bonus eps, Meet the Authors, Discord, and more! patreon.com/372pages An epic podcast! Mike and Conor discuss the deep philosophical implications of Van Hagar, of avatars putting on haptic suits, of the personification of the collective intelligence of all humanity saying things … Continue reading "Ep 95 – Ready Player 2 – Suddenly, and Without Warning, We Finished the Book"

en-US

2:18:57

Episode 94 – Ready Player 2 – Apparently, We Were...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/02/09

Join the fun on Patreon for bonus Real or Fanfic, improv with special guests, and surprisingly, earnest analysis of classical music! patreon.com/372pages If you had taken a second mortgage on your home and placed the entire sum on a Vegas bet that “nothing in this book could possibly be worse than the chapters spent on … Continue reading "Episode 94 – Ready Player 2 – Apparently, We Were Surprised to Find Ourselves Still Reading This"

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2:15:30

Ep 93 – Ready Player 2 – Rolling our Locked Wide Eyes

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/01/25

Ernest Cline’s runaway best seller continues to disgust and annoy us, even as it approaches the home stretch. In this episode we wrap up the seemingly endless John Hughes quest by meeting an actual John Hughes NPC (not actually John Hughes). Then we’re off to Halcydonia, where we all try to pretend that Zoobilee Zoo … Continue reading "Ep 93 – Ready Player 2 – Rolling our Locked Wide Eyes"

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2:25:25

Episode 92 – Ready Player 2 – Is It GameFAQs? Or a...

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2021/01/12

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to early episodes, bonus materials, contests and more! Patreon.com/372pages Conor states with confidence that this episode contains a chapter that is the dumbest and therefore the greatest of any that has been covered by 372 Pages! The editor has taken her hand off the tiller and what … Continue reading "Episode 92 – Ready Player 2 – Is It GameFAQs? Or a John Hughes Geocities Fan Page? It’s Both!!"

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2:09:51

Episode 91: Ready Player 2 – A Constant Loop of Push It

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/12/21

After countless pages of Worldbuilding and freeing child slaves when our hero felt like it, Ernest Cline finally lets some things happen in this section. The action kicks off when a Gunter and a Sharter listen to a Morissey song in silence and it doesn’t let up from there! By the time we’re done, there’s … Continue reading "Episode 91: Ready Player 2 – A Constant Loop of Push It"

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2:13:46

Episode 90 – Ready Player 2: Bouncin’ and Blazin’

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/12/08

Don’t miss out on participating in the read along! Join the 372 Patreon and get early access to episodes, as well as a BONUS Real or Fanfic we did this week! patreon.com/372pagesSo much to cover: Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that there may be a downside to the internet Conor is shocked at Cline’s … Continue reading "Episode 90 – Ready Player 2: Bouncin’ and Blazin’"

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1:34:39

Episode 89 – Ready Player Two – Sharters and Gunters

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/11/26

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to every episode early, plus a ton of exclusive bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Ready Player Two? Let me ask that again; Ready Player Two?! I don’t think you are!! But Conor and Mike are ready. Having only an evening to read the first few chapters, here are some … Continue reading "Episode 89 – Ready Player Two – Sharters and Gunters"

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2:19:44

Episode 88 – James “The Tracker” Trackerathorn III

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/11/17

Yes, this may be the final episode of Midnight Sun but Alice has looked into the future and Mike and Conor are still reading it in every possibility but this one. We won’t spoil anything about the episode itself but stay tuned to the very end and help us (and 372 listener Josh who sent … Continue reading "Episode 88 – James “The Tracker” Trackerathorn III"

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2:18:34

Episode 87 – MAJOR UPDATE ON PHIL!!

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/11/03

Phil hears from an assistant coach of the Sidewinders that there may be a backup shortstop position opening up! So Renee and he may drive back to Phoenix!!!!!!!! Also, the tireless and cunning James the Tracker is making plans to watch his collection of VHS tapes in a room with a gold chair rail once … Continue reading "Episode 87 – MAJOR UPDATE ON PHIL!!"

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2:16:47

Episode 86 – Charlie says, “Huh…”

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/10/20

How em dash HOW em dash is this book not about Charlie hauling in a world record white perch, or at the very least the story of him getting a treble hook buried into his thigh? Why not page after page of Carlisle being tutored in Courtly Italian by some foppish vampire with a high … Continue reading "Episode 86 – Charlie says, “Huh…”"

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2:17:52

Episode 85 – Throbbing Wetly

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/10/06

Twilight but as told from the vampire’s point of view, continues to be a collection of words strung together in mostly coherent fashion, with occasional digressions to count thousands of insects. There you go, Little Brown, you can use that as a quote on the cover of the paperback. We hit the halfway mark during … Continue reading "Episode 85 – Throbbing Wetly"

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2:12:57

Episode 84 – RIP Orlando Calderas Wallace

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/09/24

If you like Cline-ian pop culture lists you are in for a treat! In this episode Mike and Conor break down Bella’s likes / dislikes, turn-ons / turn-offs, preferences for types of flowers / er, preferring not to encounter other types of flowers, etc. Conor again dives to the dark web to widen our understanding … Continue reading "Episode 84 – RIP Orlando Calderas Wallace"

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2:18:39

Episode 83 – Lanny

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/09/04

Yes, we talk about things other than Lanny. But we don’t want to! You’ll all be thrilled to learn that Mike drained the budget to reunite the 372 Players, that Mike scores, um, pretty, pretty well on the Real or Fanfic challenge. There’s tons of Dumb Sentences and Conor dives to the dark web. But … Continue reading "Episode 83 – Lanny"

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2:07:48

Episode 82 – The Comedy Stylings of Emmett

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/08/21

So many words, so many of them “monster”! A jam-packed episode: Conor sails through several Sonic Challenges Mike, ahem, sails through Real or Fanfic Our listeners mail in and we steal it Believe it or not there are plenty of Dumb Sentences. There are GOFFS! (get it?) Special thanks to our patreon supporters! Get every … Continue reading "Episode 82 – The Comedy Stylings of Emmett"

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28:49

Episode 81 – Book 14

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/08/07

Let’s read another terrible book! But first, a story (By listener request!) about the time Mike inherited a house. It does not go well. This should be a fun one, let’s start by reading through Chapter 4!

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2:12:41

Episode 80 – ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!11” We shooted

372 Pages We"ll Never Get Back ·

2020/07/24

Mike and Conor try to make sense of this madness. They come up empty. Still, there are highlights: Conor does a sonic challenge sexily. Mike manages not to follow a single plot point. The Dumb Sentences of the Week burst forth like milk and honey from the promised land. (Dumb despite the great work from … Continue reading "Episode 80 – ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!11” We shooted"

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