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PODCAST

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

28:38

136: Should I Allow My Tween To Wear Crop Tops?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/09/19

A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own style. Reena asks what parents should do if they suspect that a child sneaks prohibited clothing to wear when they're out - and if clothing choices are

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26:38

135: How Do I Combat My Kid's Perfectionism?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/09/12

What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach to their

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28:36

134: My Son and His Friends Use Slurs. Can I Stop This?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/09/05

A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guide

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57:50

133: A Conversation with U.S. Surgeon General Dr....

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/08/29

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect our kids online. The episode ends with Dr. Murthy asking Dr. Lisa a thought-provoking question about what parents need now. Surgeon General Advisory

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39:29

132: Never Enough: Confronting Toxic Achievement...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/08/22

Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high pressure

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32:42

131: Encore: How Do I Help My Disorganized High...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/08/15

Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what

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27:54

130: Encore: Should I Kick my Kid Off TikTok?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/08/08

When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available

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29:52

129: Encore: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/08/01

Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids

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30:47

128: Encore: Should I Track my Teen's Location?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/07/25

It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does

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28:37

127: Encore: How Much Gaming is Too Much?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/07/18

What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it

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25:02

126: Encore: Raising an Athlete? Advice from an...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/07/11

Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore presentation. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are

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36:50

125: Encore: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice?...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/07/04

How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s no better guest than Preet for this 4th of July encore episode. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available

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27:03

124: Encore: How and When Do I Give My Kid a Phone?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/06/23

What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and

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6:08

123: Here's To Summer!

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/06/13

Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on

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31:37

122: How Much Structure Should Kids Have in the Summer?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/06/06

While summer is a great time to be more laid back, a parent writes in asking whether kids should really have less structure in the summer. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through key questions parents face once the school year ends: What's a reasonable bedtime - and how much sleep should kids be getting? What's fair to expect in terms of chores? And how much time should kids spend with digital devices, especially in light of the new, worrisome report from the U.S. Surgeon General? Their conversation offers

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28:52

121: Encore: Should I Bribe My Kid?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/05/30

It can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters. How do we motivate kids to do the things they don't want to do? Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just doesn't work. So can bribing your kids be a winning strategy for things like getting better grades? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated? This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the

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32:56

120: My Teen Is Into Sports Betting. Help!

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/05/23

With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in sports

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30:28

119: How Do I Get My Son to Stop Picking on His...

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/05/16

Why are kids mean to their siblings? Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics behind sibling conflict and takes us inside the mind of older siblings. The conversation addresses why the onset of puberty makes it hard for kids to control their emotions, gendered dynamics, and how to steer clear of shame when one child hurts another. Dr. Lisa offers guidance on what parents can do - both in the moment and after the fact - to prevent lasting harm. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa

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30:30

118: My Daughter Is Cutting Herself. What Should I Do?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/05/09

Why do young people engage in self-harm? A mother writes in asking for advice on how to respond when her daughter cuts herself. Dr. Lisa unpacks why adolescents sometimes hurt themselves to manage distress and Reena asks about the connection between self-harm and suicide. Using research as a guide, Dr. Lisa explains self-harm, how adults can respond helpfully, and what interventions to consider. Dr. Lisa Resource Recommendation: The DBT Skills Workbook for Teen Self-Harm: Practical Tools to Help

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29:43

117: My College-Bound Kid Is "Soiling the Nest." Help!

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens ·

2023/05/02

What’s the best way for parents to respond when their high school senior wants to spend every waking minute with friends? A mom writes in asking if it's okay to require her teen to spend time with the family before heading off to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complex psychological dynamics unfolding for high school seniors and their parents. Teens are often working to consolidate a new identity and can be remote and prickly around the house. Parents often feel annoyed with their

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259 results

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