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PODCAST

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

45:30

Episode 122: “Don’t Touch Me Like That”: Confronting...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/09/21

Links & Resources: Guide: Art Of Initiation Guide: Survivor’s Guide Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks. So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get

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56:07

Episode 121: When She Wants It More: Navigating...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/09/14

Links & Resources: Guide: Art Of Initiation Are you a woman who wants sex more than your male partner? All we see on TV, movies, and social media is men wanting it more, so if that’s not the case in your relationship, you may feel like something is horribly wrong. But after polling our community, we found that almost half of male-female relationships have this dynamic! That has even been the case for us in seasons of our relationship. We’re here to remove the shame, show you how normal it is for

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59:43

Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” - Xander Explains...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/09/07

Links & Resources: Course: Art Of Initiation Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about male behavior. Why do they hook boobs? Why are they such big babies when they’re sick? And of course, the age-old question: what's the deal with their marathon bathroom visits? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Check out the show

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01:07:35

Episode 119: Jealousy In Relationships: Why Do We Get...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/08/31

Links & Resources: Challenge: The Sex Challenge Challenge: The Connection Challenge Course: Art Of Initiation Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions to face, and it feels even trickier when it comes up in your romantic relationship. It’s such a common feeling to have, but it’s also so challenging to even acknowledge. We asked our community to share what stirs up jealousy in their relationship. Four core themes emerged: work, friendships, sex, and attraction to others. We work through

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01:00:20

Episode 118: The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/08/24

Links & Resources: Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the credit it deserves - foreplay! Foreplay is the number one way to get your partner to orgasm, and one of the best ways to create more intimacy, connection, and excitement. With all those benefits, why aren’t we doing it more often? 88% of men and 59% of women say they want more! But 67% of women feel like they’re “too needy” for wanting foreplay, 56%

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53:05

Episode 117: So You Think You Know Us? Answering Your...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/08/17

Links & Resources: Our NYT Bestselling Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life What do you assume or secretly suspect about us? Or what have you simply been curious about? In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into the assumptions you sent our way after we posted those questions on Instagram. From light-hearted and sexy to profoundly personal, your submissions held nothing back, and we’re sharing our vulnerable and honest truths! Our goal? To make you chuckle,

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01:09:44

Episode 116: What Do I Do When My Partner Is Always...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/08/10

Links & Resources: Guide: The Connection Challenge Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotely paying attention to you? No one wants to feel like they’re competing with a device for their partner's attention, but it’s not like you can just toss the damn thing out. If you’re frustrated with your partner’s phone usage, tune in to learn practical ways to establish better phone routines and deepen your connection irl with your partner. Thanks Cozy

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55:19

Episode 115: Grief And Sex: Loving Each Other Through...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/08/03

Links & Resources: Course: Art Of Initiation How do you maintain intimacy while grieving? We’ve had many requests to create this podcast episode, and to be honest, we resisted because the topic felt so heavy. But then we experienced our own loss - our beloved companion, Winston the pug. Suddenly, we were trying to figure out how to navigate sex and grief in our own relationship. In this incredibly vulnerable episode, we share our experience of mourning. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but

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59:16

Episode 114: Can We Come Back From This? Part 2: Even...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/07/27

Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back from this?” Sometimes you need an outside party to either guide you and your partner through moving past the hurt, or to validate that the relationship can’t survive the blow. Prepare yourself to hear some pretty spicy takes as we examine each situation and get real about when to talk it out, when to just plain walk, and how to know the difference. Because while we fully support communication and

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50:21

Episode 113: Bump And Grind: Sex During Pregnancy

Pillow Talks ·

2023/07/20

Links & Resources: Challenge: The Sex Challenge Course: Art Of initiation Course: Next level Intercourse Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormones are all over the place, and somehow all the things that used to work in the bedroom just don’t feel the same anymore. But don’t worry, it’s still possible to keep the fires burning while pregnant. We’re here to

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54:04

Episode 112: Creating A Shortcut To Intimacy With...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/07/13

Links & Resources: Course: The Connection Challenge Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intimacy of your relationship. But for most couples, compliments are surprisingly hard to come by! Maybe you’ve never been good at receiving them, so now your partner doesn’t feel it’s worth the effort. Maybe your family never gave compliments when you were growing up, so you’re uncomfortable with them. Or maybe you’ve simply forgotten how sweet they can

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57:56

Episode 111: What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/07/06

Links & Resources: Our Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Free Guide: The Survivor’s Guide Why is it so hard to talk to your partner about sex? You talk about everything else, but the minute it becomes about your sex life, they shut down. It’s not just you! In our recent Instagram poll, 52% of people reported having this issue with a partner. In this episode, we dissect the four most common reasons why partners refuse to talk about sex, and help you

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37:10

Episode 110: Unzipped And Unfiltered: Your Funniest...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/06/29

Want to hear some of the craziest things that have ever happened to our community in the middle of sex? We asked you guys to share your most hysterical and mortifying stories, and wow did you deliver! We may be serious about sex education, but we also think there’s a lot of humor to find in all the awkward mishaps! We choose not to shrink in shame, especially if it makes for a great story! So if you’re looking for a good belly laugh or just want to delight in some cautionary tales, buckle up,

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54:32

Episode 109: This ONE Thing Is Secretly Affecting...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/06/22

Links & Resources: Guide: The Art Of Initiation Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiates feel boring, frustrating, or annoying? Do you find yourself feeling too self-conscious or awkward to initiate? If so, you’re not alone! We polled our audience, and only 17% of people were happy with the state of initiation with their partners. Shocked by those initial findings, we decided to dig even deeper with an in-depth survey. Over 10,000 people

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45:48

Episode 108: “Help! I’ve Been Faking Orgasms So Long...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/06/15

Links & Resources: Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Guide: Next Level Intercourse Guide: Sexual Mastery Package Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have started faking. Maybe you were trying to protect your partner’s ego, or trying to make it seem like there was good chemistry between the two of you. Maybe you were worried about taking too long to orgasm, or maybe you‘d never had one so you didn’t even know how you were supposed to get there with

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37:28

Episode 107: Ask Each Other Anything: Celebrating Our...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/06/08

This week, we’re dedicating an entire episode to our queer community! Inclusivity is one of our core company values, and while we try to make all of our content as inclusive as possible, we wanted to highlight and celebrate our queer community in this special episode. It was important to us to center the queer experience, so we asked our queer community members to share questions they would love to ask to other queer people. We got questions like: Best tips for navigating the coming out process

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01:25:57

Episode 106: Exposing Our Biggest Relationship...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/06/01

In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on Tracy O’Malley, and after hearing this episode, we think you’ll understand why. Tracy is a phenomenal Enneagram expert who helps you understand how your personality type affects how you show up in life and love. We thought it would be fun to do a couples session with Tracy, and we gave her full permission to share our strengths and challenges with you. We were absolutely blown away - like jaws on the

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01:05:33

Episode 105: “Is This Normal?” 2.0 — More Questions...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/05/25

Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode 91 we asked the age-old question, “Is This Normal?” We're back to deliver another round of jaw-dropping, mind-boggling, and side-splitting revelations in our second installment. You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal to resent my husband after having a baby? Is it normal that I started masturbating at age five? Is it normal for a man to need assistance to get hard? Is it normal being

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51:31

Episode 104: An Exclusive Sneak Peek: Chapter One Of...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/05/18

Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get ready to dive into our New York Times instant best-selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. With special permission from our publisher Simon & Schuster, we’re able to share the entire first chapter of the audiobook with you! The first chapter is a special one. After listening, you’ll understand why sex starts to feel so complicated in long-term

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01:07:32

Episode 103: What Do Women Really Think About…?...

Pillow Talks ·

2023/05/11

Our “What Do Men Really Think About” episodes were so popular that we knew we just had to do an episode about what women are really thinking! So we asked our Instagram community to give us topics they’ve always been curious about, and we turned those questions into polls that we asked women to answer. This week, we’re sharing what women really think about topics like penis performance issues, masturbation, penis size, period sex (wait until you hear Xander’s story about his college girlfriend), and

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