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PODCAST

Being there for your kids

Jonathan C. Robinson, PhD

Parenting is the most important job we have for which we almost never have any training. This podcast offers glimpses into effective parenting choices and communication

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

03:46

What You Pay Attention to Grows

Being there for your kids ·

2020/03/28

That old parenting adage is true. What you pay attention to grows. If you focus only on the bad behavior, it will grow. If you reinforce the good behavior, it will grow. When helping your child get over the rough spots, use their strengths to help them overcome their weaknesses. Use your active listening to understand their feelings. Join with them where you can. Supervise their efforts. Some how make the tough stuff fun. Who knows, you might find a teachable moment in there somewhere.

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03:31

Be Aware of School and Social Influences on Your Child

Being there for your kids ·

2020/03/22

Wouldn't it be great if we, as parents, could raise our children by ourselves, in a vacuum devoid of school and social influences on their lives? Yeah, well...uh, no. Our children's lives are so much more enhanced by their interactions and learning experiences with others. We are, however, tasked to give them a firm foundation, both in personality and in life. This gives them opportunity to navigate school and life more successfully. We also need to be aware of the school and social influences they

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02:45

Developmental Stage Influence on Parenting

Being there for your kids ·

2020/03/14

Parenting tip #6 for parenting success is this: Be aware of developmental stage influence. Parenting is tough enough without taking in all the extraneous variables. One of those variables is developmental stage influence. Throughout our lives, we are in one developmental stage or another. Sometimes, these stages collide with each other if the family. For healthy, positive parenting, know both what developmental stage influences there are in play both for your child and for yourself.

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03:43

Building Character--Who Will Your Child Become

Being there for your kids ·

2020/03/08

As parents, our lifelong task is to help our children build character. Through good times and bad, how can we do that? Three functions contribute to this outcome. First use active listening to help convey that you understand what your child is going through. Second, consistently use the Good Kid Chart to give him target behaviors to work on and reward and consequence based on his efforts. Finally, use Restrictions That Work, a process of showing your Judgment, Compassion, and Grace based on how well

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02:30

Choose Process over Outcome

Being there for your kids ·

2020/02/29

Kids tend to gravitate toward immediate need gratification. If it isn't "now," what's the point? While we all want need gratification, and the sooner the better, there is a place for advanced preparation in tackling life's challenges. As parents, we can help our children choose process over outcome in their decision-making. While at times, focusing on the process feels like swimming upstream and is a hard sell for kids, the result is stronger character, better decision-making, and learning how to

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02:56

Parental Respect Is Earned

Being there for your kids ·

2020/02/22

While many families mistakenly believe that parental respect is a right and deserved regardless, such beliefs put that family at risk. Parental respect is earned by our words and actions. Many parents use fear to command respect from their children. However, we can use active listening, healthy boundaries, and direction to earn the respect of our children. When we fear and power to demand respect, the relationship is lost and kids are just going through the motions to survive a difficult situation

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03:11

Helping Your Child Thru Transitions

Being there for your kids ·

2020/02/17

Normal daily transitions for all of us include asleep/awake, to/from work or school, coming home, day/night activities, and awake/asleep. These and other unusual or specific transitions all can give us pause, if not trouble. In particular, children are susceptible to disruption around transition activities, unless you plan and prepare for the transitions ahead of time. Usually, a 5-10 minute transition time is sufficient to help smoothen it out.

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03:15

Number 1 of Top 10 Parenting Tips

Being there for your kids ·

2020/02/09

Start where your child is. That's tip number 1 of my top 10. Your child's words and actions will give you a hint as to where he is emotionally at the time. As best you can, let him be and give him time. Make observations and offer to be his sounding board. Active listen when you get his permission, but don't try to change him. Help him figure it out for himself. Help him understand the impact of his words and actions on himself and on others. Help him be mindful. Being present where he is forms the

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03:29

Top Ten Helpful Hints for Successful Parenting

Being there for your kids ·

2020/02/05

I know you really want to do your best at this parenting thing. With all the distractions, confusion, and mixed messages, successful parenting can be hard. As a quick reference, and to make it a bit easier, consider my top ten helpful hints for successful parenting. These helpful hints will both help you put your concerns in context and also lead you to a strong, relational bond with your children.

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03:02

Be Kind to your Child

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/26

None of us has ever been a parent before we had our first child. Parenting is often doing the best you can in sometimes difficult, trying times. While you do have to set limits, give direction, and follow through on consequences, it also helps to "catch them being good." What does that mean? Well, it's a kindness thing. Kindness comes in three forms: focus on being positive, practice praise, and demonstrate acts of kindness, especially when least expected. Not only are you parenting with kindness,

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02:25

Ahh, That New Bundle of Joy

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/19

First newborn baby? Can we say equal parts of joy, love, and terror? How do we do this parenting thing. Most new parents determine to parent just like their parents or, (where there were bad experiences), just opposite of their parents. In any case, it's a new experience for you. So, be physically present. Cuddle lots, coo, tickle, play peek-a-boo. Also, be aware of how your new baby talks to you. Babies have different cries, you know. There's the I'm poopy cry, the I'm hungry cry, the I want your

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02:12

You Cannot Not Communicate

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/17

Are you in relationship with your children? Of course you are. Then you are communicating 24/7/365. It is physically impossible to not communicate. Soothing, explaining, directing, stony silent, staring. All forms of communication. Chapter 1 of my book, Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is entitled, "Communication Is Relationship." Whether you are using verbal or nonverbal communication, you are communicating with your children. How you say things is just as important as

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02:26

Dare to be Different in Active Listening

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/15

When our kids are hurting, you want to active listen their feelings. However, if you start every response with, "You feel..." soon your child will tune out, even if you are helping. So, dare to be different in active listening. Mix it up. Stay current with what you think he is feeling. Keep eye contact and throw in a few encouraging comments like, "Wow", "I think I see," and "Tell me more." Variety will help your child stay connected with you in his pain, letting him know that you really want to

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02:38

Kids Will Always Test the Limits

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/13

For kids, testing the limits is a developmental imperative. Why? They do so to help define their boundaries. Without limits, kids would be perpetually anxious and fearful. Boundaries and limit-setting by us parents give them the calm and security to function in the world. If your boundaries are fluid, she will try to take advantage of that. Fluid boundaries can lead to a sense of entitlement, where she believes she can do what she wants, whenever, with no consequence. Boundaries set responsible

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02:03

What You Say to Your Child Matters!

Being there for your kids ·

2020/01/11

Our kids are always paying attention to us, even when they seem not to be. When they have issues, you want to pay better attention. Empathy is a passive, "I understand what you are feeling" kind of message that my not get through. Active listening is more precise. "Wow! You sound like you feel awful right now." Active listening is your go-to response whenever you child is upset. Be there for her. Don't problem solve, don't criticize, don't minimize what she is feeling. She is hurting, and your

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03:15

Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Being there for your kids ·

2019/12/15

You can visually see what a healthy relationship looks like by imagining a transparent, Plexiglas pyramid. The pyramid shows levels of your relationships, starting with your relationship with God, above the apex of your pyramid. Extending downward are levels with your spouse, children, extended family, coworkers and acquaintances, and strangers. The quality of each relationship is related to how well the relationship above it fares. As you are able to best take care of your own needs and feelings,

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04:25

Kids Do Act Out, or Act In

Being there for your kids ·

2019/12/09

Sometimes, hopefully not often, our kids behavior is out of control. In these times, they either act out, or they act in. Actor outers are impulsive, angry, feel misunderstood, and believe they are entitled. Actor inners are withdrawn, isolated, and feel bitter and unwanted. Both are in an awful place. As parents, we love our children whatever emotional place they are in, and we help them get to a better place. Active listening, collaborating, and problem-solving help them get there. Confronting and

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04:24

Does your child steal?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/12/02

Stealing is a universal child behavior. The question is size, damage, and whether he gets caught or not. Developmentally, stealing behavior falls under the category of testing limits. What to do? Stop the behavior. Confront, try to talk to your child to help him understand his needs and feelings through active listening, and give consequences. When stealing goes unaddressed, it leads to impulsivity, acting out, and a sense of entitlement, where he believes he can do anything he wants and without

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03:22

When Trouble Comes Knocking

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/26

Nobody likes trouble. It's not like we invite it into our lives. But, guess what? It comes knocking for all of us. So, when trouble come knocking at your door, or when your kids are in trouble, consider a response that includes total honesty and good timing. When people lie, they only double their trouble. When people delay their response, it creates uncertainty and concerns about minimizing or manipulating. Much better to confront trouble at the door, when it comes knocking, rather than waiting for

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03:14

Is Your Child Having a Problem?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/22

Sometimes our kids come to us and tell us they are having a problem. Most time? Probably not. So, when you sense that something's going on, but your child is not forthcoming, how can you tell? First, notice any differences from the normal that your child is demonstrating in terms of mood, attitude, behavior. Second, make your observations in a non-threatening way and ask about what you see. If she doesn't want to talk about it, give her space and let the next move be hers. Prying it out of

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299 results

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