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PODCAST

Beautifully Complex

Join parenting coach and mom-in-the-trenches, Penny Williams, as she helps parents, caregivers, and educators harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week she delivers insights and actionable strategies on parenting and educating neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities... Her approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity, and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

23:05

218: Check Your Judgment, with Penny Williams

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/04/20

You want to help your child. So you make some assumptions as to why they’re upset, why they’re not getting things done, why they’re avoiding or disengaging… You show empathy and validation with that info, still trying to help, and then your kid gets more upset and you can’t figure it out because you feel that you did everything right. The hurdle you tripped over may be assumptions and judgment. We have an opinion about why the behavior is happening and act on it as fact, when it’s really just a

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36:56

217: How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things, with Sara...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/04/13

There are some tough and scary things in life that we need to talk to our kids about: divorce, serious illness of a family member, moving, death of a loved one, to name a few. As parents, we don’t want our kids to be hurting and often default to sharing as little painful information as possible with them. But, we do them a great disservice with that approach. Instead we need to be open and honest with them in an age-appropriate way. What is age-appropriate for these conversations? My guest, Sara

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31:51

216: Helping Kids & Teens Develop a Strengths-Based...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/04/06

Instead of viewing ADHD and autism through the medical model, we need to view them through a strengths-based model as the neurodiversity movement does. A strengths-based model uses interests and strengths to help with challenges. We talk a lot about it in terms of parenting and educating, but now it’s time to teach our kids to operate through a strengths-based lens. In this episode, Dr. Matt outlines the steps to help your child develop a strengths-based perspective specific to their own strengths

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38:00

215: IEP Strategies for Parents, with Catherine...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/03/30

If there’s one thing parents of struggling learners understand, it’s that the IEP process is complex. Between the law (IDEA), qualifications, the IEP document, goals, measurements, and formal meetings, there’s a lot to know and navigate to ensure that your neurodivergent child receives the education they deserve (and have a right to). In this episode, I’m joined by Master IEP Coach, Catherine Whitcher. Catherine shares insights on the IEP process, two main strategies for IEP meetings and what to

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33:23

214: Helping Teachers Understand Behavior &...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/03/23

Biology influences behavior. Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world does, too. The challenges neurodivergent kids experience at school and in their classrooms are tied to their neurological differences and how their bodies interpret their environment and gauge their safety. When kids don’t feel safe, they cannot regulate and they cannot learn. In this episode, Dr. Emily King helps us understand the added layer of complexity that neurodivergence adds to a student’s school experience. We

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32:12

213: Relationship Reset withThe Behavior Revolution

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/03/16

It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with our interactions with others, especially our kids. But a better relationship is always possible, as long as you make changes and do the work. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. is back with me to talk about making amends, repairing the relationship, and pivoting to more healthy and rewarding interactions.

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32:58

212: Twice-Exceptionality & Asynchronous Development,...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/03/09

Intelligence and learning and doing are different things. An individual can be highly intelligent and also struggle with getting things done or even with learning itself. When someone has both a high IQ and a learning disability, they’re referred to as twice-exceptional, or 2e. As you can imagine, this can be a struggle in school, as well as other aspects of life, because people tend to automatically think that an intelligent person is a highly capable person. I’m joined by 2e expert and

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32:06

211: My 6 Biggest Aha’s in 6 Years of the Podcast,...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/03/02

It’s the 6 year anniversary of the Beautifully Complex podcast so I’m looking back at some of the most pivotal lessons I’ve had about parenting neurodivergent kids. I’ve interviewed nearly 150 experts and also parented my son from young teen to young adult during that time. I’ve learned a lot! Listen in as I explain my six biggest aha’s and what they could mean for you and your child — the interconnectedness of biology and behavior, pressure is actually a demotivator, rejection sensitive dysphoria,

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39:33

210: What to Do When Your Child is Aggressive, with...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/02/23

Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, and anxiety — can be quite aggressive at home or at school. To cope with and improve aggressive behavior, you have to understand why it happens. In a global sense, the child doesn’t feel safe, and acknowledging this is a great place to start. Tosha Schore of Parenting Boys Peacefully is my guest on this episode. In her work with families, Tosha helps parents discover the root of the aggression and work to diffuse it. Listen in to learn

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28:14

209: Foundational Principles of Behavior, with The...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/02/16

We’ve been busy recording the sessions for the upcoming Decoding Behavior Summit, March 3-5, 2023. In this episode of the podcast, Sarah and I reflect on the common principles and strategies we heard from the experts in this Summit, including your role in your child’s behavior, the importance of adult regulation, the transformative properties of a sense of control for kids, and more.

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31:21

208: The Parenting Long Game, with Rachel Bailey

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/02/09

The parenting long game is all about putting the right mindset and strategies in play so that kids can succeed and thrive. As parents, we often spend a lot of time in the “yuk,” overwhelmed by what’s hard and negative. And we’re wired to focus on the negative as a means of protection. However, to parent with the long game, Rachel Bailey tells us that we have to shift from judgment to understanding. Judgment is often followed by a negative narrative we create. Understanding is often followed by the

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40:18

207: Finding Your Own Path When Neurodivergent, with...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/02/02

It can be hard for our neurodivergent kids to find their path into adulthood. They often don’t yet know what they’re interested in pursuing long term, even after graduating from high school. The key is to support kids, teens, and young adults in exploring their interests, as actor and puppeteer David Bizarro illustrates as he shares his story with us. You’ll gain insights on the ADHD brain and that journey and leave with a sense of hope for your child’s future.

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38:13

206: Low Demand Parenting, with Amanda Diekman

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/01/26

Low demand parenting doesn’t mean that we dismiss all expectations of a child and let them do whatever they want. Instead, low demand parenting means dropping demands and reducing expectations in order to meet kids with radical acceptance. AS Amanda Diekman explains in this episode, the purpose of the low demand life is to find ease and joy. But how exactly do you shift from the high demand parenting that’s instinctual to most people to low demand parenting? Amanda explains that you start with

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56:55

205: Honoring Our Kids’ Individuality, with Kayla Taylor

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/01/19

The challenge of raising a child with differences in a mostly intolerant world is very real. There’s both joy and heartache, as Kaylor Taylor illustrates in her book, “Canaries Among Us.” At stake in this quest to honor our kids’ individuality, is the mental and emotional health of an ever-growing population of neurodivergent children. In this episode, Kayla and I discuss the injurious nature of being a misunderstood and different kid in rigid societal systems, such as education, including the

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31:00

204: The Science of Stuck, with Britt Frank

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/01/12

“A brain that feels safe will not get stuck.” That’s how Britt Frank, author of “The Science of Stuck,” explains the connection between a sense of psychological safety and being stuck. In this episode, she not only shares that understanding of why we get stuck, but she outlines her step-by-step process to move through stuckness, something we’re all too often trying to help our neurodivergent kids do. Listen in and learn about the power of choice as well.

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31:33

203: When to Let Kids “Fail,” with The Behavior...

Beautifully Complex ·

2023/01/05

We’re addressing a listener question about letting kids fail in this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast. When parents say, “Let kids fail,” they usually mean revoking all of the help and support they were providing and letting the kid handle it on their own, even if that means letting them fail (often knowing it means that a neurodivergent kid will fail). Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I don’t support letting kids fail in the literal sense of that phrase. This is a complex issue because kids need

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30:57

202: Success in College and Beyond for Neurodivergent...

Beautifully Complex ·

2022/12/29

The transition into college and then out in the “real world” are challenging enough, but can be even more daunting and complex when you have ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety. Parents want to help their kids succeed and thrive but are no longer able to step in to help in the ways they had while their child was under age 18. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Alex Gilbert, who has ADHD and dyslexia herself, outlines a plan to help neurodivergent students succeed in college and

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30:28

201: The Teen Sleep Epidemic, with Heather Turgeon...

Beautifully Complex ·

2022/12/22

Did you know that only about 10 percent of U.S. high school students get 9-10 hours of sleep a night, the amount required for healthy sleep at that age? Teens who aren’t sleeping enough don’t just walk around groggy. A lack of healthy sleep negatively impacts mental health, cognitive function, reactivity, emotional regulation, immune function, and relationships. Clearly, adequate sleep is important. But how do we help teens with a lot of demands and distractions prioritize sleep? That’s what

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38:53

200: Lessons Learned: From Mom and Her Neurodivergent...

Beautifully Complex ·

2022/12/15

In celebration of the 200th episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I have my son Luke back on the show. It’s been 14 years since his first diagnosis of ADHD, and we’ve both learned a lot of lessons along the way. In this episode, Luke and I each share our top 5 lessons learned — my lessons in parenting a neruodivergent child and his lessons in being a neurodivergent individual. The episode starts with Luke sharing his lessons for other neurodivergent kids, teens, and young adults, so we

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29:41

199: Internal Self-Care, with Sarah Sanders, MA, MFT

Beautifully Complex ·

2022/12/08

There’s a cultural misconception that self-care is treating yourself to something, like a spa day or a weekend away with friends. While that is a type of self-care, it doesn’t sustain you through the day-to-day like internal self-care does, managing our stress, our mindset, and our thoughts and emotions. Don’t discount internal self-care as “fluff” — I can personally attest that it’s life-changing, as can my guest for this episode, licensed psychotherapist, Sarah Sanders, MFT. Sarah outlines the

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