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It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and

business management

All Episodes

44:10

High Conflict Workplace Investigations with Guest...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/03/02

Workplace investigations. If you’ve been through one, it may have been easily worked out with assistance from the professionals involved or it may have been a nightmare if someone with a high conflict personality was involved.Whether you are an employee, a manager, in human resources, or a workplace investigator, you will want to listen in as two workplace investigators discuss high conflict investigations.Megan is joined by guest co-host Cherolyn Knapp and guest Bob Stenhouse, founder of

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40:51

Divorce Radio and Celebrity Divorce with Guest Ilyssa...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/02/23

Divorce is hard and often confusing with bits of information online, in books and other sources, which can be helpful but also confusing. Journalist and radio host Ilyssa Panitz, THE Divorce Journalist, joins Bill and Megan in this episode to discuss her divorce radio show, how it began and why it is so helpful to both people experiencing divorce first-hand and for professionals too. She also has unique insight into celebrity divorce They will discuss:Her radio show The Divorce Hour with

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48:42

10 Paradigm Shifts of High Conflict Mediation with...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/02/16

Mediating high conflict disputes requires a shift from many standard mediation approaches. When one or more of the parties has a high conflict personality, the process should have more structure and focus away from common mediation topics, such as emotions, the past, and interests, and instead focus more strictly on problem-solving. By having the clients participate more actively in the process – and the mediator serve more as a guide for their active participation – they are more likely to

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44:27

Family Law in Israel with Guest Michal Fein

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/02/09

Is it possible to change family law in an entire country? Change that results in improvements for families, and especially for children?In today’s episode, Bill and Megan talk with family law attorney, Michal Fein, of Tel Aviv, Israel, about a law she wrote to address some problematic issues in Israel’s family law system—the Family Disputes Settlement Law. They will discuss:what prompted the change and why it was neededwhat the Family Disputes Settlement Law was intended to dowhether it was

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30:19

Telling a High Conflict Spouse That You Want a Divorce

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/02/02

One of the hardest decisions when divorcing a high-conflict spouse is how and when to tell that person that you want a divorce. How will the person react? Will I be in danger? Will my life become a worse hell?In this episode, Megan and Bill discuss this extremely relevant and important topic, starting with a question from a listener. They will discuss:What should you do if your partner doesn’t know yet that you want a divorce? How should you tell that person? How should you prepare?What

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27:06

Getting it Backwards in Family Court—Winners & Losers

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/01/26

Sometimes professionals in the legal system get it backwards. It’s frustrating and leaves people feeling helpless. Why can’t the judge see what the other party is doing? Why is my ex’s lawyer painting him/her out to be a hero, convincing everyone in the courtroom that I’m the bad parent?Do professionals get it backwards and believe the wrong person sometimes?Bill and Megan discuss this important topic, including:is this a high conflict issuewhat is a persuasive blamercan persuasive blamers

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31:06

The New Elephant in the Room: Personality Disorders

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/01/12

Personality disorders are mystifying to those unfamiliar with them, and even to some in the mental health profession, although with copious amounts of information online about them these days, everyone acts like an expert and the terminology is bandied about with authority. It’s sticky and fascinating information. Unexplainable behaviors can quickly be explained away as narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorder types. Once that thought happens, it’s easy to develop

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33:22

Confirmation Bias in High Conflict Situations: How to...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2023/01/05

Have you ever been fooled by someone? Or become passionate about a cause, belief, or opinion that later was proven to be false – and you discovered that the information was there all the time but you hadn’t considered anything outside one point of view? That may have been because of confirmation bias.In today’s episode, Bill and Megan discuss:what confirmation bias is and how it can fool usconfirmation bias in today’s society, such as social media, politics, and othershow it is used in high

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33:36

Times of High Risk: The Most Dangerous Times with HCPs

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/12/29

People with high conflict personalities have strong unconscious fears that are easily triggered: abandonment; humiliation, being dominated; ignored; and other major losses. When triggered, this is a greater concern with high conflict people than with the average person. In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss:the types of losses that can trigger high risk:divorcenew relationship partnerjob terminationevictionneighbor disputeother losseswhether these are predictable how to be awarehow to

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21:54

Dilemmas & Decisions: Why It’s So Hard to Stop...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/12/22

Stopping yourself in a high-conflict situation doesn’t come naturally for most. We get frustrated when things escalate quickly and wonder why we took the bait once again. Of course, the brain is involved so it comes down to unconscious reactions, but can they be overcome? Can we get emotionally unhooked?In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss:the dilemmas that come from people with high conflict personalities, instead of solutionswhy we get hooked by their dilemmas — the brain

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35:30

How Brainwashing Works on a Child’s Brain

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/12/15

Did you know if brainwashing of a child is real in divorce and/or co-parenting? In parental alienation (child alienation), families are divided but is brainwashing behind it? A part of it? Or not at all?In today’s episode, Megan interviews Bill about his latest findings on this topic, which is one of the most challenging and painful life experiences that families go through. They will discuss:quick explanation of what parental alienation is why use the strong term of brainwashingthe role of

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37:25

Yes, And—Improvisation & Creativity in Conflict...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/12/03

The Second City – where countless actors and comedians got their start. They’ve been bringing the funny for over 60 years. Now the first name in improve and comedy, they’ve expanded well beyond the stage and into business, wellness, education and so much more. Kelly Leonard, Executive Director of Learning and Applied Improvisation at The Second City, joins Bill and Megan in this episode to talk about improvisation, creativity, and whether and how it can be used in conflict communication –

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56:43

Erasing Family with Guest Director Ginger Gentile

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/11/24

Erasing Family. In this age of cancellation, it’s not so rare. In the divorce and child custody (family court) world, cancellation has been a “thing” for a long time. Cancellation of the child’s other parent and even extended family is common. In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Ginger Gentile, director of the Erasing Family documentary. Erasing Family follows young adults fighting to reunite with their broken families. Part emotional roller coaster, part investigative exposé, the

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26:04

Transforming Inmates into Peacemakers, with Guest...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/11/17

“Listening People Into Existence.” In this second episode with Doug Noll of the Prison of Peace program, Bill and Megan continue their conversation about this program that leads incarcerated individuals through intensive workshops to become Peacemakers, and eventually Certified Trainers who go out into their communities after their release, using their new peacemaking skills. In this episode, Doug continues telling us about:success storiesthe skill of affect labeling and the research behind

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31:36

Transforming Inmates into Peacemakers, with Guest...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/11/10

“From Serving Life to a Life of Service.” This is the motto of the Prison of Peace program created by Doug Noll and Laurel Kaufer, two lawyers with big hearts from California. Through Prison of Peace, incarcerated individuals are led through intensive workshops as they progress through the various program levels from Peacemaker to Certified Trainer, mastering the art of communication and conflict resolution, enabling them to create safer, more peaceful lives for themselves and others, in

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35:29

Solutions for High Conflict at Work with Guest...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/11/03

In workplace conflict, handling complaints, upset employees and high conflict situations is taxing, leaving many organizations feeling stuck or without options other than termination or throwing hands up in the air and living with it. But there is a method to help employees learn necessary skills — a method called New Ways for Work: Personal Skills for Productive Relationships.In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Cherolyn Knapp, lawyer, mediator, workplace investigator and HCI’s

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20:00

What is the Difference Between Alienation &...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/10/27

In high conflict divorce, accusations of parental alienation are common and cause tremendous distress for everyone involved, including the courts. But is it truly alienation? Or is it estrangement? What’s the difference? It’s important to understand the difference.In this episode, Megan quizzes Bill on the similarities and differences and Bill talks about the theories he’s developed and written about in several books, most specifically in Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children

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21:26

What are the 4 Fuhgedaboudits When Interacting with...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/10/20

Interactions with someone with a high conflict personality often become contentious and you may eventually get upset, storm off, or simply feel inadequate. We’re often left wondering why our best skills don’t work in these interactions. A primary reason for this is because we often respond in a way that doesn’t work — our own defaults that work well with most people. There are 4 Fuhgedaboudits in high conflict interactions that will revolutionize them. They are necessary but we often forget

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18:04

What is the High Conflict Personality Theory?

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/10/13

People with high conflict personalities have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happen over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. The pattern of behavior includes a lot of:blaming othersall-or-nothing

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22:51

When to Stop Trying with Someone with a High Conflict...

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People ·

2022/10/06

Interactions and life with someone with a high conflict personality can be trying. Some will keep trying until they’re completely burned out while others give up quickly. How can you know when to stop trying? Is it when you find yourself in depression? Banging your head on the wall out of frustration? Over-reacting outside your norm? When you feel like giving up, giving in, or lashing out?In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss the options that each individual can explore when encountering

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