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PODCAST

"Fine" Dining

Michael Ornelas

Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Domino"s, BJ"s Restaurant & Brewhouse, and Long John Silver"s before determining if they are better or worse than Chili"s: the most mediocre restaurant in America.

arts food

All Episodes

52:03

Gordon Biersch Brewery (Part Two: Review) feat....

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/11/22

The review for Gordon Biersch is here! All Elite Wrestling & Ring of Honor's "Pretty" Peter Avalon joins Michael to review the restaurant of the week The Gordon Biersch Brewery that Michael & Peter hit up closed its doors just 7 days after the boys dined there Peter eulogizes the Burbank Gordon Biersch Ever wondered what it'd be like living in a Buffalo Wild Wings? Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV takes offense to vulgarities Michael pitches a restaurant-themed wrestling gimmick to Peter

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26:32

Gordon Biersch Brewery (Part One: Eat Deets) feat....

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/11/15

Get Part 2 next Wednesday! All Elite Wrestling & Ring of Honor's "Pretty" Peter Avalon joins Michael in Burbank to learn all about the restaurant of the week Gordon Biersch Brewery stands behind the claim that they invented garlic fries Michael dives into the Eat Deets about Gordon Biersch Gordon Biersch cost Oskar Blues Brewing approx. $32,000 from a cease & desist Michael drops knowledge about Shakey's Pizza Parlor's prominence in the Philippines An embarrassing story from 25+ years ago about

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01:22:23

The Melting Pot feat. Rhyan Schwartz

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/11/08

"Fine" Dining is back to weekly releases! The Melting Pot is in the midst of a renaissance, with ambitious expansion goals Michael details the changes moving into the new season Learn about the history of the franchise in Eat Deets (fka Resty Fact Round-Up) Guest host Rhyan Schwartz gives Michael someone to eat all the cheese that our host refuses to touch Michael rebrands cheese to ch**se Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV shares his wealth of knowledge to give The Melting Pot advice on their

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01:00

Season 2 Trailer

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/11/01

The search for mediocrity continues! Join host Michael Ornelas as he gets in the trenches for more chain restaurants than his arteries can handle. Each episode, he'll be joined by a different guest host, and no eatery is off-limits. Season 2 will include fast casual and even fast food spots as the caloric floodgates have been opened. Kicking off November 8th with guest host Rhyan Schwartz, Michael pays a visit to The Melting Pot for some fondue. This season, you can also look forward to

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01:14:32

TGI Fridays the 13th: Season Finale

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/10/25

Season 2 starts November 8th! TGI Fridays is dark, red, and honestly feels like a murder room. Appropriate for the season Michael is joined by friend Sandy Rose to deliver the Resty Fact Round-Up while Garrett goes to town on Michael's bidet. Learn how TGI Fridays original incarnation was drastically different from what we know it as today Michael's pineapple son Juicy Jr. dons the mask as Juice-Son Vorhees in a terrifying murder spree homage to the Friday the 13th horror film franchise JUB issues

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58:11

Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery: DILF Depot

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/10/11

Do grocery store pies taste better in their restaurant of origin? Not by much! Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery feels like a slice of Michael & Garrett's childhoods, a wood-paneled wonderland that feels like a dentist's office waiting room Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up, including a history of "Pie Spies" Marie Callender's proves to be a haven of "old" The winner of the Septemburger Bracket $500 Giveaway is announced! Michael falls asleep in the

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01:14:42

Johnny Rockets & the Heavy Chair Heist

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/09/27

The last quarterfinal match of Septemburger has arrived! Johnny Rockets is a genuine-hearted homage to the diners of the 1950s, which Michael would have been all about if this wasn't a "Sports Lounge" location Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match 4: Umami Burger vs. Johnny Rockets The You-Must Bowl has both Michael & Garrett crying, but insisting they're fine A CHAIR HEIST!! What's Going On with the restaurant's photographer snubbing our

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01:11:14

Umami Burger's Rise & Fall & Slight Re-Rise...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/09/20

Septemburger's #1 seed, Umami Burger is up to bat! Michael has an axe to grind after the best burger in Los Angeles changed up their recipe a few years back Garrett outlines the rise and fall of Umami Burger in Resty Fact Round-Up, and why they have a shot at regaining respect once again Septemburger will pit Umami against Johnny Rockets next week What's Going On with Umami feeling like it's still going through the pandemic? The service staff definitely noticed they were being reviewed and changed

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01:32:40

Red Robin feat. John Angeli (Terror Firma)

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/09/13

Septemburger rolls along with the #5 seed, Red Robin! Michael & Garrett are not just joined by indie horror film producer John Angeli, but they're outright sponsored by his new movie Terror Firma Garrett outlines the surnameless "Sam" who founded Red Robin by annoying the heck out of anyone who would listen with his one Red Robin song More of a deep dive on the history of the franchise in Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match #3: Red Robin vs. Outback Steakhouse Forget the burgers, Red Robin's got

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46:27

Septemburger Has Arrived!! (Fuddruckers vs....

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/09/06

It's the burger battle of the year as Septemburger is now upon us! The tournament kicks off as the 8 entrants are announced and seeded Maybe the most badass theme song ever Garrett details the history of the hamburger in Burger Fact Round-Up #3 seed Fuddruckers faces off against the #6 seed Applebees #2 seed Islands faces off against the #7 seed Bob's Big Boy First round scoring for #4 seed Outback Steakhouse ahead of its match-up next week against the #5 seed Red Robin JUB will help you generalize

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01:16

Septemburger Kicks Off! (Trailer)

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/09/04

It's the best month of the year: It's SEPTEMBURGER! The first annual Septemburger tournament kicks off with the following match-ups: Bob's Big Boy (7) vs. Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks (2) Fuddrucker's (3) vs. Applebee's (6) Plus, the boys review Outback Steakhouse (4)'s first round burger ahead of its match-up next week against Red Robin (5). Yummmmm! Download the full episode this Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) We're on Patreon! Get an

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01:17:28

Twin Peaks: The Revenge Breastaurant feat. Emma Danger

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/08/23

Michael & Garrett get back at Michael's niece-aged cousin Emma Danger for sending them to Hooters last time she was on the podcast! Twin Peaks is a breastaurant founded on the premise that Hooters had become "too tame," and lived up to that idea in its early years amidst scandals and indecent exposure charges Garrett fulfills his You-Must Bowl duties by donning Insane Clown Posse facepaint and consuming this meal while embodying the Juggalo lifestyle Even a little Judge Judy is more Judge Judy than

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01:07:36

All Garlic Everything at The Stinking Rose

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/08/09

Michael & Garrett are now 80% garlic-by-volume! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to sing his table's order to the entire restaurant Garrett details the garlicky history of The Stinking Rose in Resty Fact Round-Up Cheese correspondent Steven gives his thoughts on the Garlic Crab Alfredo Fondue A cursed piece of wall decoration has Garrett reeling The boys try Garlic Ice Cream?? JUB tries his hand (or fingers) at being a stenographer A Real Doll placed right outside the restroom Garrett has the best

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01:14:03

Shakey's Pizza Parlor Has a Crab Problem feat. Zeus...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/07/26

Michael & Garrett tolerate a subpar lunch buffet with the super-jacked Zeus Benitez! Garrett journeys to and from the buffet on his hands and feet as the You-Must Bowl has him crab-walking his way around Shakey's Pizza Parlor Learn about the first pizza franchise in America, Shakey's, and its founder: Banjo Hall of Fame member Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson An adult film about Shakey's? We certainly wrote one! The boys evaluate Shakey's arcade JUB will sell you prizes to give away at your arcade The

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01:24:32

A Suit of Pokemon Cards: Technically Meeting the...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/07/12

The boys experience actual Fine Dining for once! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a suit made entirely of Pokémon cards to Mastro's Ocean Club Garrett details the history of Mastro's in Resty Fact Round-Up (Yeehaw!) Learn about Japanese vs. American wagyu, and the different classifications of beef grading Hands-down the greatest service experienced so far on this podcast Romantic music puts Michael and Garrett in a mood JUB will recalibrate your ratings scale Alcohol served

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01:33:42

ASMR Spooning at Sizzler feat. VyVy Nguyen (The...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/06/28

The boys are joined by the delightful VyVy Nguyen! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to consume his entire meal at Sizzler using only spoons Garrett plays Michael and VyVy a Sizzler commercial from 1991 Dessert pictures are catfishing unsuspecting customers Sex eyes are the only acceptable eyes to have in a Sizzler An ASMR Sizzler birthday soundscape, performed by VyVy Garrett pulls out the Fine Dining Bylaws to address Michael cheating at his You-Must Bowl punishment JUB welched on a bet once too

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01:01:51

BONUS EPISODE: The LA County Fair (1-Hour Patreon...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/06/21

So much to do and only 12 hours to do it! Michael & Garrett hit up the LA County Fair for some crazy deep-fried food and a carny atmosphere They cover the history of the LA County Fairgrounds, which has an upsetting role as the site of a Japanese-American concentration camp during World War II and an Italian/German P.O.W. camp afterwards The boys get their palms read Garrett seeks out a Christian puppet show Seductive snakes bare it all at The Shed PIG RACING! <3 The saga of Milk Steve the Cream

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01:40:44

Medieval Times: Knights on Strike

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/06/14

It's dinner and a show at Medieval Times! The boys bear two hours of L.A. traffic to drive to Medieval Times only to discover the Union cast of this location are on strike and protesting outside Strike Captain Erin Zapcic shares what the striking workers are aiming to accomplish Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Imposters fill the castle as Union scabs have been bused/flown in from other Medieval Times locations 2 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett’s night at Medieval

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01:17:23

More Margarita Than Man at Jimmy Buffett's...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/05/31

The boys found a Boomer utopia in restaurant form! The You-Must Bowl deems Garrett must embody the essence of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Cheeseburgers in Paradise aren't very good Michael tries to enforce a "No nudity, no touching" policy on Garrett An excerpt from a steamy romance novel authored by Jimmy Buffett JUB plans to make all public spaces a spoiler-free environment Strawberry Shortcake that is somehow neither strawberry nor

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01:09:50

Romano's Macaroni Grill's New Bread Can F Right Off

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/05/17

They changed the bread and killed our childhood! The boys color on the table at this week's pick: Romano's Macaroni Grill Garrett wants to bottle up Michael's spaghetti grease to eat later The bathroom signs are confusing Phil Romano has some crazy ideas for an Asian cuisine restaurant A pushy waiter demands to know why a nearby table is celebrating Garrett must become next week's restaurant, literally Audrey reviews the Macaroni Grill kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB will make

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