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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:31

George the recluse

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/22

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Every time he killed someone, he'd have nightmares about it. And then he'd hesitate that much more before he killed another person. Pretty soon, George was a twitching, shivering mess. Surrounded by ghosts, he'd fall to the deck and clutch his head, moaning and clenching his teeth. The other pirates yelled at George to get up, but the captain told them to let George be. "Just try not to trip over him," he said. George eventually crawled

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1:32

George sucks at pricing

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When he took people hostage, he wasn't very good at setting a reasonable ransom amount. "Five dollars!" demanded George. "Not a penny less!" "That won't cover our expenses," whispered the captain. "Try a hundred." "One hundred million dollars!" demanded George. "Not a penny more!" The captain took George aside and gave him a quick lesson in basic math and economics. "Ah, okay," said George. By the time George researched calculated a reasonable

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1:23

George gets Darwined

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/20

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Instead of capturing the HMS Beagle and holding the ship for ransom, George joined their crew and learned all about Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection. "Does this theory apply to pirates?" asked George. "Because I'm not a very good pirate, and you'd think that I'd have been weeded out of the population by now." Darwin pondered this for a while. "Good question," he said. Then, he clubbed George on the back of his head and tossed him

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1:17

George buries treasure

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Whenever he buried treasure, he'd forget to draw a map to it. So, he spent a lot of time stumbling around beaches and forests and fields, holding out a lamp and looking for anything familiar. He never found it again. "Damn it, George," said the captain. "Either draw a map or bury the treasure somewhere easy to remember." So, the next time George had treasure to bury, he tried to bury it under his bunk. His crewmates stopped him before he broke

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1:44

George releases the kraken

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/18

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Instead of looting and pillaging, he liked to collect small animals. His favorite was a baby kraken, which he'd kept in a jar by his bunk. Then, a small tub. And finally... well... there was no containing it now. The kraken burst through the deck, grabbing pirates and rending the sails. Then it hauled itself over the rail and plunged into the sea. "Well, shit," sighed the captain. "Poor Bubbles!" said George. The survivors stared at

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11:15

Weekly Challenge #1008 – It’s Going Down

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/17

RichardLizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Advance LISA There was a fish in the sky, the sun glinted on its iridescent undersides. Whipped by the breeze it coasted a while on the thermals. We stood in the garden, necks craned, watching it swim through the clouds. “It’s going down” Sue shouted as we ran to the front of the house. It sank fast and caught in a neighbour’s oak tree. It was actually a metallic balloon which promptly burst on a conker

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1:12

George the artistic

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. "I think I know what my problem is," said George. "It's a lack of opportunities to express my artistic side." He painted the cannonballs with interesting colors and swirls and lacquers. He designed lush and beautiful sails with vibrant images that came to life in the wind. He rigged wind chimes and other instruments so they'd play a melodic tune with the wind and the rolling of the seas. They all looked and sounded nice as the ship took a

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1:09

George the black belt

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd practiced for years with his cutlass, but never got any better. That's when George saw an ad for Karate training. He shrugged and signed up for classes. After a few weeks, he got pretty good. He tried Judo and Tae Kwon Do and other styles, too. After a while, he'd earned black belts in all of them. "Here, let me demonstrate," said George happily, and he broke six boards with his fist. As the ship slowly sank, the captain tied George to the

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1:11

George and the temporary captain

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When the ship's captain was away on vacation, he hired a temp to run things. "The captain warned me about you, George," said the temp captain. "I'll keep my eye in you." So, after their first raid... "Sorry about that stray shot," said George. "But that's a nice eyepatch you've got there." By the time George's captain returned, the temp captain was sporting a new eyepatch, a pegleg, and a hook hand. "Well that ended badly," said the captain. "I

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1:11

George tied in knots

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/13

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He wasn't good at love, either. Oh, he wasn't bad-looking. And he was always courteous and polite with the ladies. It was just that deeper connection he never made. She'd want him to read poetry or go dancing, and he'd try to teach her how to tie knots or tell the weather from the sea air. One time, he did find a girl who wanted to learn how to tie knots. But she tied him to a bed and took his money. And a note: "I love you anyway."

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1:23

George counts steps

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was always pacing the deck, back and forth. "Why are you walking all the time?" the captain asked. "I bought a step-counting smartwatch," said George. "I have to get five thousand steps in each day to stay fit." The captain smirked. "You could always do that by raping, looting, and pillaging." "This is way easier," said George. "And a lot less messy." George walked away, but the captain tripped him up. George fell and broke his nose, bleeding

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1:16

George brings the beach

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He preferred the feel of sand between his toes to the wet wooden deck of the ship. So, when the ship docked at port, he hauled sand from the beach to the ship and spread it all over the deck. The extra weight slowed the ship down, and it took longer to catch up to cargo vessels that they wanted to raid. "Fine by me," said George, laying in a chaise lounger on the deck and sipping an umbrella drink. "More time for me to work on my tan."

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10:51

Weekly Challenge #1007 – Cruising

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/10

Richard Lizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is It’s going down… LISA Come Fly with Me It felt good to be out cruising along, feeling the breeze beneath my wings. Endless possibilities for the day lay ahead. My driver today was old and small. He struggled to see over the dashboard. Our eyes met but I don’t think he saw me stuck to the windscreen. I could hear his music through the glass. We travelled together as companions for miles until a jet of

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1:09

George’s smart summon

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/09

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Long before Elon Musk released "Smart Summon" in his Tesla line of cars, George worked on a similar feature for his pirate ship. George fired a flare pistol in the air, which signaled his ship to drift to his location and pick him up. This made sense when he was standing on the docks. But when he was drunk at a bar a mile inland, well, that caused a whole lot of problems. Sailing up the street, knocking over market stalls and ruining the

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1:23

George and the Easter eggs

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/08/08

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When he was a kid, his family would paint eggs for Easter and hide them around the yard. Then, the kids would hunt for the eggs. Even though he was all grown up now, George yearned for the innocence of youth. So he painted cannonballs and hid them all over the ship for the crew to find. "ENEMY VESSEL TO STARBOARD!" shouted the captain. "LOAD THE CANNON!" "Where are the cannonballs?" shouted the first mate. Nothing like a little excitement to

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12:50

Weekly Challenge #1005 – PICK TWO Display, Poem,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/27

RichardLizzie Tom Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Keep well RICHARD --- Festival--- It was one of the weirdest concepts I'd ever come across in my years in the music business. ‘Rockfall 25' - the world's first festival of background music. I can't say the lineup was impressive, I'd never heard of the headline acts, and the programme wasn't at all attractive. I couldn't see myself succumbing to the delights of the 'Elevator Music Tent'; and the idea

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1:20

George the Marauders fan

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/26

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was a loyal baseball fan, though. No, he didn't follow the Pittsburgh Pirates. No self-respecting pirate would be caught dead in Pittsburgh. He followed the Bradeton Marauders, a minor league club. George went to every game, dressed up in his best pirate regalia, and he'd lead the cheers. Waving his cutlass in the air, shouting for all nine innings. The fans thought he was awesome. "You're the best pirate ever," the kids would say. And, with

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1:33

George was not a bad pirate

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/25

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. At least, that was what the captain said. Truth was, George was a pretty good pirate. The captain, on the other hand, was an awful pirate. But you know the Peter Principle. People rise in rank until they fully express their incompetence. And the captain was supremely incompetent. Terrified that someone would discover how incompetent he really was. So, he constantly put down the pirates on his ship. Pitting them against each other. All the while,

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1:26

George and the Germans

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate. Still, he did his best for his ship, joining raiding parties and fending off rival pirates. Until the captain sold to a German pirate consortium. Which outsourced the work to cheaper Russian pirates. George sat in port, stuck in endless planning meetings. “When will we go out again?” asked George. The owners told him to shut up and train. A lot of his old crew mates got bored and quit for better challenges. George trained their

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1:39

George was a bad student

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/07/23

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He got lousy grades in pirate school, his teachers held him up for ridicule, and his classmates bullied him. So, George swore he'd get his revenge. Back then, there weren't high-capacity guns to mow down a schoolyard full of kids, nor were there cars you could drive into them. Sure, he could have started a fire. But he wasn't good at it. And he was mocked for it. So, he became a pirate, and he caused "accidents" that got his nasty former

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